I $ am ft? *S '*ftrt v* ^^f^p PAGE TWO \l fl WARS AND RUMORS OF WARS. Fat Tribe to Engage in Conflict With Trite of LeansScalps Will Be Flying in the Air. The tribe of Fats have once more called out their medicine men, beat the tomtoms, danced the scalp and war dances and finally and solemnly decided to take to the warpath for the sole and express purpose of wiping the tribe of Leans clear off the horizonin a basketball way. The whole fuss started over a dispute "between Big Chief George Ross of the fat tribe and Medicine Man Odegard of the lean outfit, the bone of contention in the argument being whether the last bat tle between these hated rivals was won by the fats or the leans. Each representative vociferously claimed that his side had been victorious and waxed warm and excited in the argu ment. The records of this famous bat tle of the past were lost in the re moval of the records of the county from Princeton to Milaca, so it was finally agreed that the only way to determine this momentous question was to fight the battle all over again with the agreement that if the fats won the present encounter they had also won the past one vice versa. Chief Ross is calling in his subchiefs and warriors now and laying down training rules for them so that they may be in tip-top condition when the two clans clash. If you happen to notice a massive shape moving slowly and majestically down the middle of the road in the early morning mists don't think for a minute that one of Uncle Sam's biggest battleships has come up the Rum river for^ battle ma neuvers. No indeed! It is only Joe Mossman out for his beforc-break fast hike and sprint so that his wind may be in excellent shape when he hurls his ponderous weight into the ranks of the skinny leans in the com ing battle. Chief Ross has taken to wood split ting to improve his -condition and has developed a perfect mania for unsplit wood piles. He has all his own and the neighbors' finished now, and any one who desires his wood split can-be accommodated by dropping a card to Chief Ross and giving him the location of the pile. The chief does the work free of charge and even pays the own er a bonus if the pile is an especially hard one with plenty of knots and crooked pieces. Mayor Vandevanter is also counted on as one of the star performers for the fat tribe and, being originally from Missouri, he has" broken all standard rules of training and adopted a typical "show-me" attitude that clearly brings out some of the char acteristics of his early training in the stato that produced General Pershing, Champ Clark, Frank and Jesse James and other prominent and noted men In American history. His peculiar hobby consists of getting onto all the entertainment committees of the vari ous lodges, clubs and other local or ganizations that are now flooding the market with a wave of dances, enter tainments, games, etc. This gives Van a chance to do a whole lot of chasing around, running up stairs and down, wrestling with other com mitteemen who happen to oppose his ideas of how to put that particular en tertainment across, and performing all the other various and numerous ac tivities of a hustling committeeman. From continuous practice Van has now got so efficient that he can run up two flights of stairs without a stop, balancing a kettle of hot soup on his cranium without spilling a drop, twirl ing a fresh baked mince pie on the forefinger of his right hand and in the other hand swinging a roast goose as a bandmaster would swing his baton. 'Suffice to say that when this rugged specimen of Missourian manhood starts ont of his famous charges into the ranks of the leans the human wreckage left in his wake will look like the pictures of Napoleon's retreat from Russia. F. W. Manke is also slated to play \aia important part in the contemplat ed defeat of the leans. The local po tato king is getting his wind up by ^chasing after the wagons of the far mers who unload at the warehouse. When he overtakes them he delivers to them personally their small pota toes, refuse and dirt which was shook out of the sorter, so that somebody won't make a holler that they didn't get the regular market price for the culls, refuse and dirt that Manke wasn't bidding on when he bought the load. Fred is training so conscien tiously that he don't even get time to attend court when litigation of more or less, principally less, importance is pending concerning the company he is with. Fritz Kunkel will be the other regu lar on the fat's quint, and Fritz's local reputation is so well known for speed and endurance that nothing particular need be said about him at this time. We will tip it off to you on the side, however, that Fritz has several old grudges against some of his lank, lean and hungry-looking opponents and has sworn a mighty oath of ven geance that he will even the count that night. Coming down to earth for a minnte we would like to announce that in the near future there will be a basketball game between the local leans and fats for the benefit of the armory. The full details of this classic will appear in due season. Watch the score board. Next week we will tell you about some of the lean fellers and how Head Chemoka-Man Odegard is now cooking up a mess of home-brew medicine, which, when rubbed into his athletes, will make them look still skinnier than they really are. In this way he ex pects to bewilder the fats by their in ability to discover just where the leans are and what they are doing. For instance, one of his star performers, Fred Keith, he expects to have in such fine and thin shape that the fats will have to look twice to see .him at all, and then about all they will be able to detect will be his shadow. In other words, this mighty battle is going to be Brawn vs. Brains. Moving Situation in Hibbing. The Union recently published the following editorial, which was ob tained from a supposedly authentic source: Ribbing is movingthat is, all her buildings are being transported a dis tance of a mile and a half to another site so that the Oliver Mining com pany, which owns the mineral rights underneath the village, may dig down into the bowels of the earth and re move the iron ore. The moving process will consume a couple of years. It looks like sacrilege to virtually shove this beautiful villageof which its in habitants were so proudaside mere ly because of the cupidity of man, and convert its site into a yawning abyss, but the property owners had no al ternative. The steel trust is king. While the new Hibbing will in course of time doubtless attain a greater magnitude than the old, many years will necessarily roll along before it can even duplicate the streets, boule vards, sewers, lights, water mains and other municipal utilities, which it is estimated will cost $15,000,000. In regard to this article C. M. At kinson, editor of the Hibbing Daily News, writes ys the following letter, which we take pleasure in publishing! Hibbing, Jan. 24, 1921. Dear Mr. Prowse: You evidently have been misin formed, probably by the twin city newspapers, as to the moving situa tion in Hibbing, and I hope you will pardop me for trying to enlighten you. Hibbing is not being moved. The north forty, being the original town site, is ell that is being taken away, and that at the outset contained only twenty city blocks, not all built up, while the old town, including the north forty, contained somewhere in the neighborhood of seventy-five city blocks. The pert being removed con tains but a very few modern business buildingsmostly the old shacks of the early days. The Pillsbury and Southern addi tions to the original townsite will re main. There is one business street, the remainder being dwelling houses. South of the Southern addition comes a beautiful park, and then Park addi tion, as the starting of new Hibbing, or the village of Alice as it was known before being incorporated in the village of Hibbing. South Hib-: bing has a business section which is now being built up by and for the merchants of the part of town being removed, and it is being built on a modern scalethe expenditures in Central addition alone now represent at least twenty million dollars. The new power plant, costing a million and a third, is located in the new town, also a million-dollar hospital, said to be the finest in the world. There is a hotel to cost upwards of a million. Many of the new store buildings will be ready for occupancy early in the spring-, including a new home for the Daily News. Buildings are being dragged out of the old town every day and others too old to move are being razed. The proposed adoption of a city chrrter will make Hibbing a city of between 25,000 and 30,000 popula tion with an assessed valuation of $121,000,000 and a yearly income un- Do you know why it ioasied To seal in th delicious Buriey tobacco flavor. LUCKY CIGARETTE JkvJhuA ,*t*m AJu4r der the law of close to seven million dollars. The townspeople and the mining companies have had serious difficulties in the past, but in this re moval and upbuilding program we are all working in perfect harmony, because it means the building of a very beautiful city in the midst of stumps, boulders, open pits and strip ping dump piles. Fraternally, C. M. Atkinson. High School News Budget. Senior play books are here. Every body will be busy practicing now. Watch for the date. Notice to kindergarten teachers: If your pupils get noisy and talk too much we have a remedy which Miss Allen threatens to use sometimes in French class. Ask her, she knows how to keep juniors and seniors from talk ing too much. What's the matter with the type writers? They're all right. But the ones using them have the trouble, for they have to have 18 lessons in at the end of this week before they can have a mark for this month. Wherever you go now you will be sure to see students sitting in the halls or in different teachers' rooms. Say, guilty ones, how does it seem to sit in buch places? One day last week our teacher, Miss Daniels, had the misfortune to lose her voice. But much to the joy of all stddents, and especially to those who took her place in the class room, she has found it and is at her work again. The junior gh*ls have organized a basketball team and are playing against the rest of the senior high. They were defeated in the first game but wc are all sure, after they have more practice, that they will have just as much of a chance to win as the sophomores and seniors who are on the first teum. Work on the Annual is being pushed forward rapidly. Jokes and comments about each pupil are to be put in, al though we will not know what has been put in about us until we get our Annual. Occasionally one can hear a pupil ask one on the Annual committee what has been put in about him or her. The answer is, "Wait until you get your Annual and you'll seeX The seniors have finished studying Hamlet and are now studying one of Charles Dickens' novels, "Tale of Two Cities." We have rcr.d seven chapters of it and it promises to be very inter esting. After spending about ten minutes THE PBINCBTON UNION: THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 1921 in French class, every pupil of that class came into the assembly weeping bitter tears, not because the French had opposed them but because the furnace had taken up arms against them and with its terrible smoke made them lose their fort. The English III classes are reading "Pilgrims Progress" now for book re port. "No rest for the wicked." Worse than slaveryTeacher: Who knows what is worse than slavery? Sophomore: Going to school, for we have half a dozen masters instead of one. The girls that took sewing the first semester have started their cooking class now. Many1 tempting dishes have been made and several more will be furnished before' the cooking classes close. The seniors are going to pick out people to take parts in the play this week. Everybody is wishing for a part and living in suspense until the day when the parts will be given out. Good luck to those wha can take them. Pupils' Press Committee. Bus Line Time Car THE.UN1VERSAL CAR, 0 N Change in FOR Prices or Design The following letter from W. A. Ryan, Manager of Sales, Ford Motor Co., is self-explanatory: "\/\fE want to state again with greater emphasis that Ford cars are already being sold at a-figure actually below cost, ard for an indefinite period another reduction or change in design is entirely out of the question and not at all contemplated. "We believe the public will be fair enough to fully appreciate the frankness of the above when they consider the extent of our re- cent price cut which was in fact equivalant to several reductions one, in our desire to contribute toward satisfying their demands for lower living costs notwithstanding our 'sacrifice in marketing our cars at a loss until we are able to materially reduce present costs through lower material pi ices and greater manufacturing efficiency. While we have of course made some progress in bring- ing down operating costs, we still have a long way to go before any thought can be given to further reductions in present car prices, so we have no hesitancy in making these open statements to acquaint you with the true situation. "You can therefore give assurance to prospective purchasers of Ford cars that now is their real ppo rtunity to buy below cost and obtain delivery. Every one is familiar with the heavy demand for Ford cars in the Spring and this year will be no exception, as in spite of conditions, business is already accumulating,v so that many who desire Ford cars will be obliged to wait perhaps until mid-summer for delivery, causing considerable inconvenience and perhaps financial loss, particularly to commerciul customers." ODEGARD'S GARAGE ODIN ODEGARD, Prop. Princeton, Minn. Welcome News. According to the last issue of the Elk River Star News a new power wheel has been installed at the hydro electric plant. The transfer was to have been completed last Sunday when the auxiliary plant here could furnish power for both Elk River and^ Princeton. The News states that the new turbine is expected to furnish more power tlr.n the old one and that the service in the future will be more satisfactory. We trust the News is entirely correct in its assumption that there will be an improvement in the service. Man's Nature to Kick. When congress is not in session there is always an imperative de mand that it meet and do something and when it is in session there is a loud holler for it to quit talking and go home.Buffalo Journal. 1 Are you reading your own Union, or do borrow ittoday. Effective November 3,1920 Owing to the rapidly increasing patronage of the Blue and White bus line, the Jefferson Highway Transportation Co., Inc., has recently in- stalled more service between Princeton and Minneapolis and between Princeton and Onamia. The company wishes to avail itself of this opportunity to thank the people of Princeton and the country people along the line for their liberal patronage and solicit their moral support and continued and increased future patron.-ige. Special arrangements have been made with the Merchants hotel at Princeton, where full information regarding the buses may be had and where you are invited to come and wait for the busses. TIME CARD Southbound Daily Ex. Sunday Daily Sunday A.M. P.M. Lv. Onamia 7:00 1:10 Milaca 8:05 2:20 Princeton 8:45 3:00 Zimmerman 9:15 3:30 Elk River 10:00 4:15 Anoka 10:25 4:40 Osseo 10:40 4:55 Ar. Minneapolis 11:20 5:35 4:30 Lv. Minneapolis 8:00 5:40 Osseo 8:40 6:20 Anoka 8:55 6:50 Elk River 9:20 7:35 Zimmerman 10:00 8:00 Princeton 10:30 8:15 Milaca 11:10 8:55 Ar. Onamia P. M. 12:15 Office and Terminal 29 N. Seventh St. Tel. Geneva 4478 MINNEAPOLIS Jefferson Highway Transportation Co. Inc. These Schedules Subject to Change Without Notice. from your neighboryouSubscrib 1 Northbound Only Daily P. M. A. M. Daily P.M. 5:00 5:40 5:55 6:20 7:00 7:30 8:10 9:15 Our Policy has always been to keep the assets of our institution thoroughly liquid. Our mem bership in the Federal Reserve System accomplishes this aim to a degree previously impossible. In the Federal Reserve Bank we have an ^unfailing reservoir of cash obtainable in exchange for commercial paper which we hold. First National Bank Princeton, Minn. |ra|| Your Personal Property Tax Your Personal Property Tax is due and payment should be made before FEBRUARY 28 Give this yotfi* attention and a penalty attached. w. before it is too late The convenient way to handle this matter is to call at this bank and arrange to make payment thruogh us. THE PRINCETON STATE BANK 5% Interest Paid on Certificates of Deposit FARM LOANS INSURANCE The best w&y to teach A BOY WITH A BANK ACCOUNT DOESN'T NEED ANY OTHER RECOMMENDATION WHEN HE GOES TO GET A 30B. EMPLOYERS KNOW THAT HE HAS THE "RIGHT STUFF"IN HIM. HAS YOUR BOY A BANK TO IT REGULARLYr oy \s to come in and open a count for him Do ACCOUNT AND IS HE ADDING YOU CAN GIVE YOUR CHILDREN NO BETTER OR IM- PORTANT TRAINING THAN TO TEACH THEM TO PUT THEIR MONEY IN OUR BANK. Security State Bank