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The Appeal. (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, April 18, 1903, Image 1

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Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83016810/1903-04-18/ed-1/seq-1/

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npHt APPEAL KEEPS IN FRONT
1 -It aims to publish all the nws possibto-
o-IttossoimparUall*.*^^"**-.
8-Its correspondent* are able and energetic
VOL. 19. NO. 16.
HERO IN HARD LUCK
FATE DEALS UNKINDLY WITH
WOULD-BE REFORMER.
TStouth Wh Rebuked Fat Man for
Promiscuous Expectoration "Gets
Into Serious DifficultyCoarse Man
Wipes 4J,p Floor With Him.
A t& :manfat and apparently
coarse, an with a predilection lor
bullying -over the common ipeople
stirred up a big rumpus .yesterday
morning on the Staten Island ferry
boat Robert Garrett, wfaioh left St
George -at 7:10 o'clock.
This person chewed tdbacco with a
noticeable vehemence, and with eon
secutiveness and frequency lie was
obliged to dispose of the usual by
product. It was the fat man's method
of disposing of his by-product that
made the rumpus. Perhaps there were
cuspidors, but the fat man didn't hunt
for them. He picked out vacant spots
n-the floor instead. There were wom
en passengers, and some of them be
came almost panicky. Then it was
that a small, heroic man made his
appearance. He was -a young man
with pale-blue eyes, a. slim waist, and
an unhalting expression around his
chin. He had dodged .the big man's
hydraulic efforts once -.or twice, and
felt called upon to do something. He
might have chosen a more original re
mark, but under the stress of great
mental excitement he -resorted to the
old saw. Catering the fat man's eyes
he said, angrily:
"Do you expect to irate yourself as
a gentleman?"
(Swish!) "Huh?" 33aid the fat man.
"Then don't expectorate -on the
floor," added the young hero.
A lot of "serves-you-right-you-horrid-
old-thing" looks from the women re
warded the young man, who thought
he had done his whole duty. Perhaps
he had, but
The fat man relapsed :fram Ms con
templative mood into one of strenuous
action. He reached .forth .his big,
chubby hands, and hooked them fast
to the clothes of the young hero with
the pale blue eyes. Then he bore
down on the little fellow And doubled
him half up like a knife, And by sliding
him backward and forward on the
floor across the area of his temporary
tobacco-chewing domain, he removed
all traces of wet brown from .the -cabin
floor.
There was plenty of feeling overlthis
Incident. The young man didnft like,
it. He was in, an .uncxanibxtable-po
sition, as he afterward asserted with
great positiveness. The aim sought
for had been practically achieved, but
the meansthe means! There was
the rub! He was incensed at the rub.
Several coarse men gurgled with glee,
others swore right out, and the women
set up such a clatter that the attention
of deckhands was attracted. One of
these hands was chewing tobacco
himself, but "rone yeara of mtrospec
rtion had enabled him to vobserve prop
er sanitary precautions. 'The 'deck
hands "went for" the fat man, hut he
wriggled between the horses and
trucks and lost himself in the crowd
at the opposite end of the laoat. The
young man with the discajma:gecHook
iing trousers and determined air was
ihot foot all over the boat after- the
(large person, but could mot find him.
With the deckhands he stationed him
iself at the gangway when ithe passen
Igers left the boat at the Battery, con
/fident of catching the large person.
IBut he didn't. Somehow, it is not
onade clear just bow, the 2Z0-paund of
fender wriggled past them amd went
ton bis way, while the young hero,
after watching until the last man had
stfeepped ashore, went to Ms office
chewing the bitter cud of reflection.
New York Tribune. Drifting Away.
I neaQ
in -yaur bright eyes the dreams of
life's day
But 3x
drifting away from yamdrift
ing away!
I am drifting afar
From Iife"s storm and Its star
And I woina 1 could answer the jorayer
that yoti ray!
But I'm (drifting away, dearI'm idxifiins
would strike fno your life-road the
thorns thai would slay
rBut t&r5&ttc away from you-dr&ting
awa.yl
The -somsw, the pain
You may strive with In vain,
I would 'hear bt I go and.I come not
again
Xm driftams s:ay, dearI'm drifting
away!
Tou must reap for yourself in life's win
ter and May
For I'm driXtiixg away, dearI'm drifting
away!
I have given you bread
And a shelter o'erhead
And may God light the looe'y, long way
you must tread
For I'm drifting away, dear, I'm drifting
away!
Frank L. Stanton in Atlanta Constitu
tion.
Why Willie Passed Up the Ham.
i _Wiillie had been particularly im
pressed with that part of the cate
chism which recounted the things
which his sponsors in baptism had
"promised and vowed in his name."
So when the grandmother said' sweet
ly:
"Willie, dear, won't you have some
deviled ham?" he looked at her stern
ly and replied:
"No, grandma. You know I have
renounced the devil and all his
jworks."
A Work-weary Suicide.
.John McCartney, a 16-year-old,
^jwork-weary lad, employed by a dairy
y=v|tnan, living in Baltimore, shot, and
'grilled himself in his employer's home
.{Monday. This note was found on a
jbureau: "I am' to die like a dog
^rould, but lank better off dead. It
to nothing but work."
&&
&?jy &"-Si&S^*
%&js*&g!iM8*k? ?&
mama
GOOD BEER THROWN AWAY.
"Weary' Willies" Should Enter 3
United Protest.
At Manchester, writes a London
correspondent to the Atlanta Gonsti
tution, a brewery has been establish
ed where they make beer of a su
perior qualityand then throw every
drop -of it away. Just as much pains
are taken iin making the beer as if
it were destined like that brewed at
Burton last summer for the table of
the king himself, but its inevitable
fate is to be poured into the sewers
with a ruthlessness that would de
light the heart of Mrs. Nation.
The -explanation of the rather sur
prising procedure is that the beer
thus sacrificed is the product of a
sort tit school of brewing Tun by the
municipality of Manchester. This
provincial city is a progressive place,
and some time ago it decided to start
a municipal school of technology, at
which every trade practiced in the
north of England shouM be taught^
practically.
When the school was opened at
was found that quite a number oof its
students were anxious learn the
brewing business, so it was decided
to add a model hrewery, on a *mall
scale, to the rest fdf the technical
equipment. When ifflre matter was
referred to the government, however,
the Manchester city fathers were told
that they could, not he allowed to
start their miniature hrewery unless
they would agree that every particle
of its output should foe. 'destroyed.
And at regular intervals since the
brewery was started an excise in
spector has dropped In 4o make sure
that there is no mistake about this.
The saddest part of the whole .story
is that experts who have sampled
the beverage made 'by the municipal
students of brewing say that it is
first-class.
How They Rose.
The kind-hearted lady missionary
was canvassing in the outskirts of
Brooklyn, when she came across two
tramps lying on a -pile of Warm fur
nace slag. One of them was about the
worst looking tramp on earth and the
other was an easy second. After the
usual preliminaries, and offers of
some slight assistance, the kind lady
said:
"Now, my men, iteTl ane, please, how
you came to this state."
"We walked, mum," said the worst
looking of the pair.
"You misunderstand me, my good
man. I mean, how did you come to
the condition in wliich I find you? Tell
me, please, bofh of you: watit to
ilse the information for object les-
sons."
"Oh, yes! I understand you now,
mum. W-a-1-1, 1 have no hesitation
in sayin' that whatever 1 am I owe to
my mother," responded the one who
first acted as spokesman.
"An" as fer me, miss," said the other,
*1 own with a degree of pride and sat
isfaction that I am entirely a self
made man."New York Times.
The Nation.
the un- ISet, sovereign wise, between
changing seas,
Where hath man seen, in any burled
age,
A Toroader, brighter, grander heritage
Than here, where Freedom's banner
greets the breeze?
One land from the remote Floridan keys
To where Superior spreads Its mighty
page
n land from where he Atlantic roll
ers rage
Tto Wtoere the calm Pacific lies at easel
Shall we who throrah long travail won
tfihe hight
esoend to infamous dieptfhs too base to
name?
Besmirch our honor in the whole world 9
sight.
And darken evermore our vaunted
fame?
Rauae, freemen, in your immemorial
might,
And save the Nation ifmona ttSke brand 01
.Shame!
Clinton Seollard.
A Fortunate School! Teacher.
Miss Florence Lindley, a school
teacher a Brown county, Kansas,
years ago made up her mind that there
were great possibilities in the Indian
territory. Sp" she saved her salary
and bought seventy-two lots in the
little town of Sapulpa, paying the In
dian owner a trifle under $4 for each
lot. The Indian rued his action and
when the courthouse and many real
estate records were burned not long
ago ne brought suit, claiming the
young woman never had paid. him. At
the trial after he had testified under
oath that the land was pot paid for
Miss Lindley hTOUgbfi forward Ms re*
ceipt for tiw amount in full^ which
she had preseyvesd: The, Indian is on
trial for-perjury.' The town kits in
question-are valued at not less tkan
$15,000. J^-
Go AheadEnjoy LlffeJ
Take out an insurance policy
against death or expense from appen
dicitis, you who are nervously in
dread of it, and the* go ahead and
eat grapes and aH, the other things
you deny yourselves now because of
fear \hat they may bring on the mal
ady. It is the very latest wrinkle in
the insurance line, and you may as
well be among the first to get into
a position to receive benefits from .its
establishment if benefits there can
be.Boston Transcript
The Only-Thing.
On the occasion of a wedding dinner
in France at which the ofilclating pas
tor was present he exclaimed after
every course a* he raised his glass:
"My children, with this yon mustl
drink some wine." The turn of des
sert arriving, he repeated his injunc
tion for the tenth time, again setting
the example himself. "Pardon, Mon
sieur le Care" one of the guests In
terrupted, "but with what do you not
drink wine?" "With water my m toward^ free trade through direct or
was the reply
SOME NEW QUESTIONS
TO THE SOUTH BEARING TO
WARD 'PROTECTION.
Southern Democrats are Beginning
to Taste the Fruits of the Policy
Which Develops Natural Resources
and Builds Up Some Industries.
The wonderful transition, that has
taken place in the Southern states in
the past twenty-five years from a
purely agricultural to a manufactur
ing section is brought into view by
Senator McLaurin of South Carolina,
in an article in the New York Com
mercial Advertiser of Feb. 25. In a
generatkm, says Senator McLaurin,
South Carolina has become a competi
tor of Massachusetts for first place
in cotton manufacture, and Birming
ham has become a formidable rival
(of Pittsburg in iron and steel produc
tion. And yet the South has only be
gun to (cultivate the edge of the vast
field of her industrial possibilities.
One-half of all the timber that stands
in the United States is south of the
Mason and Dixon line. Alabama,
only one among a number of South
ern states possessing great coal de
posits, has more bituminous coal
than Pennsylvania, much more iron
ore than Pennsylvania, and ten times
more timber than Pennsylvania, In
view of the enormous industrial de
velopment that has already taken
place in the South, and the still more
enormous industrial possibilities,
.Senator McLaurin says:
"Consideration these facts has
led to a great change in the views of
many of our leading men on the tariff
question. When the Dingley bill was
being framed I was a member of the
Ways and Means committee of the
House of Representatives, and I took
the position that in framing a bill
with the avowed object of protecting
American industries South Carolina
was entitled to just as much of the
benefits to accrue from protective
tariff as was the state of Massachu
setts. I really think that the Dingley
bill was the only tariff bill ever fram
ed wherein the slightest attempt was
made to protect southern industries.
It is not a question of whether one
was, for or against the principle of
protection. If we were going to
raise our revenues by means of the
tariff it necessarily meant that there
was more or less protection under it,
and that in adjusting duties we
should consider the various sections
and industries. I may say that I have
never found a Southern industry that
could be benefited by the tariffs
where there was not just as
much clamor for it as there was for
any industry in any other section of
the country. If anybody will take the
pains to investigate what a reason
able and proper adjustment of the
/Schedule on rice and lumber has done
for the various Southern states he
cannot fail to be convinced of the
wisdom of tnis course. Since the
passage of the Dingley bill there has
been no further tariff legislation, and
.its operations have been so satisfac
tory that, for my part, I hope there
will not now be any tariff agitation.
We are going along very well on this
line, and it Is wise to let well enough
alone."
It is a curious anomaly in political
conditions and tendencies that just at
a time^when a considerable element
in the Republican party is turning
y^'WI
ST. PAUL AND MINNEAPOLIS. fljSN.. SATDRDAY.APBIL 18.1903.
7iRevision-revision
indirect tariff
through legislation br by the round
about and checkereo route of reci
procity in competitive productsat
this identical tin the Democratic
party in the Southern states is veer
ing squarely around* away from free
trade and toward protection. To find
in a Democratic senator from South
Carolina a better protectionist than
you can find in one of Iowa's Republi
can senators is indeed a political
paradox. The explanation would seem
to be that Democrats in the South are
just beginning to taste the full fruit
age of protection prosperity, and they
like it and want more of it, while cer
tain' Republicans in the North are
afraid of too mufch prosperity and
are planning how to have less of it.
A singular state qf things, truly!
tioa
EVIDENCES OF PROSPERITY.
Continued Harvesting of the Fruits of
Protection.
The season of prosperity which be
gan when President McKinley, soon
after his inauguration, called a special
session of Congress to restore the pro
tective tariff, not only continues but
steadily improves. Not a day passes
that news does not come of some in
crease of wages affecting large classes
of men, or of the inaguration of new
enterprises or the enlargement of old
ones, giving enlarge^ opportunities
for profitable employment. Most of
these increases in wage scales are
brought about by conferences between
.employers and employes, which is a
'most hopeful. sign of the times. In a
few cases the increases are made vol
untarily by employers, in a few they
are the result of strikes or controver-
SAMPSON RENEWING HIS STRENGTH IN THE WILDERNESS.
sies of an unpleasant though less cost
ily nature. So long as present condi
tions prevail it seems probable that
trouble involving a temporary sus
pension of business and consequent
loss to both sides, with more or less
-damage to the public welfare, will
'grow fewer, or perhaps even cease al
together.
Yesterday it was announced that
th 4,000 bricklayers of Chicago had
[secured a general advance of 40 cents
per day by conferences with repre
sentatives of the contractors. The
new scale, which advances the Tate of
pay to 60 cents per hour, is to stand
for three years. Could the same rea
sonable method of arranging wage
schedules prevail in all employments
we might look forward with confi
dence to a continuance of the present
prosperous era for an indefinite pe
riod.
At present there are no indications
of an interruption in the present rate
of progress. So far as can be fore
seen there* is not likely to be any till
attempt is made again to repeal those
salutary laws which make our pros
perity possible.Seattle Post-Intelli
gencer.
Newspaper for Nervous People.
There is talk in Austria of estab
lishing a newspaper especially for
nervous persons in whijeh accounts of
catastrophes will be treated in a sooth
ing style. This will give a new color
name to Journalism. If it is "yellow"
to jar sensitive nerves it may be con
sidered "gray" to leave them undis
turbed.
Japan's Coal Production.
The valw of the coal mined in Ja
pan is almost equal to that of all other
minerals combined. It varies from th3
hardest anthracite to peat, but tha
quality is usually inferior to that of
American coal. Modern machinery
nd methods have been introduced i
Defective Page
&M
MR. "ELEANOR" JONES
BOOKING AGENTS'MISTAKE THAT
CAUSED TROUBLE,
Combination of Clerical Error and
Hard-Hearted Female Inspector In
volved Buffalo Man in No End of
Tribulation.
Because a careless booking agent
substituted Eleanor for the name Ed
ward, a man from Buffalo, who with
his family was a passenger on one of
the biggest and fleetest liners afloat,
had no end of trouble the other day
with the immigration inspectors when
he started to land at the pier in the
North river.
The big ship arrived off the quaran
tine station about 7 o'clock in the
morning, and after the health author
ities had finished with her the immi
gration and customs inspectors started
about their business. One of the im
migration inspectors was a female. She
made a thorough canvass of the cabit
in search of women who had no right
to land. Every woman had proved her
right to land, with the single excep
tion of Miss Eleanor Jonescall it
who could not be found.
The inspector searched high and low
for the missing Eleanor, but there was
"nothing doing." Finally she ap'
pealed to a woman passenger to help
her out.
"Can you tell me where I can find
Miss Eleanor Jones?" asked the in
spector.
"Of course I can," answered a de
mure looking maiden "she isn't on
Doard, for a Mr. Edward Jones hap
pens to be the Eleanor in this case."
"Oh, do find him I would so like to
see a man named Eleanor," said the
eager Inspector.
"There he is but don't tell him I
told you about the mistake on the pas
senger list for he has been very touchy
on that subject during the trip."
Walking up to where the man was
standing, the inspector demanded to
know if he was "Miss Eleanor Jones."
"You bet your life my name is not
Eleanor," was the emphatic reply from
the man from Buffalo "my name is
Edward, plain Ed, and if I ever get
my hands on that fool booking agent
you^kn stake your bottom dollar he
won't make any more mistakes like
this."
"I am very sorry, Miss Jones."
"Don't you call me Miss Jones, for I
am not a miss, but plain Mr. Jones,
the father of a family of six, and as
good an American citizen as any man
on the ship."
"I can't help that you are not on
the passenger list, or the manifest
either, as Edward Joses, and since you
say you are not Eleanor Jones, I will
be compelled to^. tell the inspector in
charge about your case and ask your
detention as a stowaway pearling the
untangling of this mess."
Mr. Jones pleaded for clemency, but
the feminine inspector, who had by
this time been reinforced by the ar
rival of an inspector of the masculine
kind, was obdurate and said' that she
could not change the law, and that Mr.
Jones would have to take his medicine.
Jones was then told that he could not
leave the boat with the other passen
gers, and the inspectors went to the
steerage to take a look at the people
in that department.
The liner was almost docked by this
time and Jones in desperation ap
pealed to the purser for assistance.
The purser, appreciating his predica
ment, at once ordered a steward to
took up/ the cabin manager as soon as
the gang-plank was in place and re
quest his immedite presence in bis
office., This the steward did, and thf,
manager, on boarding the liner, was
told the circumstances. The immigra
tion inspector was then sent for by
the manager, and on his appearance
the two went into executive session.
The manager told the immigration
man that the line would pay the stow
away fine, and after a lengthy confab
succeeded in convincing the man from
Ellis Island that the mistake was an
innocent one, and that the detained
passenger was in reality an American
citizen.
Security was then giv*n for the re
lease of Jones and a steward was
sent to his room to inform him that
aljl^was right and that he might re
join his family on the dock.Philadel
phia Ledger.
Idea of a Genius.
Economy of production was one of
the subjects touched on by Prof. H. W.
Wiley in an after dinner speech last
week before the New York Society of
Medical Jurisprudence. Referring to
new methods that are being brought
into operation and their practicability
he said:
"I simply wish to mention, without
exactly recommending it, this sugges
tion from an agricultural source. It
comes from a man who proposes to
plant onions with his potatoes, with
the idea that the tear-making qualities
of his onions may act on the eyes of
the potatoes, and make the latter crop
self-irrigating.New York Times.
A Story of Apple Tart.
In Case of a Surplus.
When supply overtakes demand in
the steel industry, so that the Ameri
can product is equal to it or in excess
of the demands of this market,
should there be a reduction of tariff
duties in response to the demands
of tariff reformers, it would encour
age the dumping of European surplus
stocks upon the American market at
a price lower than the domestic
manufacturer could meet. Every
ton of this surplus, so disposed of
here, would take the place of an equal
amount of the American product
and thus operate to reduce the Ameri
can output and limit the opportuni
ties for employment of American
workmen.
When supply overtakes demand,
American manufacturers should not
be criticised, but rather encouraged,
to dump their surplus supplies, ir any
they have, upon any market which
can absorb them, even at a price
much below that paid at home, and
even at a loss, rather than that such
a surplus should remain in the mar
ket, depressing prices below the mar
gin of fair profit, and thus soon or
late forcing a cessation or a reduction
in production. Such reduction in
production would, mean the loss of
employment to many the reduction
of consumption in other departments
of trade, through a reduction in the
consumptive capacity of those en
gaged in the iron and steel industry,
and a general disturbance to trade,
which would proceed with a cumula
tive effect through every avenue of
industry.Seattle Post-Intelligencer.
8killed Woodmen.
In the South Sea islands tree-felling
contests are of such importance that
specially made axes are imported for
the work from America. So skilled are
these woodmen of the South seas in
felling timber that a dozen blows on
the trunk of a tree will show but the
one gash, as though done by a single
blow of mighty Dower^p^.
APPEAL STEADILY GAINS
It is the organ of ALL Afiro-Americans.
5-It is not controlled by any ring or clique.
6It asks no support but the people's.
A well-known novelist tells an amus
ing story of his father, an English
rector, and Sir Henry Thompson, the
surgeon and authority on food. Sir
Henry was called in and prescribed a
certain diet, particularly warning the
patient against apple tart, for which
the reverend gentleman had a great
partiality. "Oh, but, Sir Henry,"
pleaded the patient "mayn't I have a
littlejust on Sunday? We always
have it for dinner then." "Sir," re
plied Sir Henry in severe tones, "do whl^eap7cially~at n^ght
you imagine that your stomach is any
different on Sunday from what it is
on other days? Good morning."Lon
don Lookout.
THE FARMER'S VIEW.
He Objects to the Unrestricted Compe
tition of Canada's Cheap Agricul
tural Products.
Writing to the Michigan Farmer,
Dr. E. R. Ellis displays good sense,
good economics and good Americanism
entering into a reciprocity dicker with
Canada:
"With their cheap land and cheap
labor and a free open market here,
Canadians could so flood all the border
states with their products that the
blight would be felt by every large
and small producer in our Northern
states. We had an experience of that
forty years ago, when our markets
were ^crowded with poultry, eggs,
lambs and all manner of garden truck
from across the river, to the great
detriment of all such producers on this
side. It will be most unwise to try
that again. Canada now sends us
much of her best product in her sur
plus young men and women. These
are assimilated here with advantage to
us now, but would it be so with free
trade? Most assuredly not. They
would stay at home, earn and spend
their money there and enrich their
own country at our expense or by prof
its made out of our open markets."
This is the American farmer's view
of Canadian reciprocity. He does not
think he should be exposed to competi
tion with the cheaper labor and the
lower-priced farm lands across the
border, and he will naturally and
rightly resent the adoption of a policy
which deprives him of Dingley tariff
protection for the benefit of the manu
facturing interests.
$2.46 PER YEAR.
PUN IN "SMALL ADS"
UNINTENTIONAL HUMOR FOUND
IN NEWSPAPERS.
Some Strange and Curious Ways
Adopted to Make Wants Public
"Choice Villain" Offered for Sale
"Experienced Bug" Called for.
It may be that the funny man is
not always original. Anyhow, he
apparently devotes the best days of
his life trying to make other people
feel jollywhen they read his para
graphs in the newspapers. Be that
as it may, no man needs to be a pro
fessional humorist in order to get an
awful lot of fun sometimes out of the
newspaper advertisements.
To while away the time recently
the writer busied himself the greater
part of an entire day delving through"
a pile of dailies and weeklies. The
work was done through mere curios
ity, pretty much as. "work" is done
by the backwoodsman who with his
gun on his shoulder tramps out early
in the morning in the brush to see
what he can get a shot at. There
was no thought of fun search in the
reading /of the papers at the start.
The fun cropped up as the reading
progressed. The "work" became not
decided amusement.
of the best
a labor, but a
Now, then, for some
specimens discovered:
"Sinners wanted to work on metal,"
one advertisement began.
The same one was found in another
newspaper of the same date. But
tliJce was a slight difference between
the two "ads." The word "sinners'*
read "spinners."
Another "ad" in another paper was
Just as good in its way. It was:
"Patent leather men's shoes at re
duced rates."
The following one was all right. At
ieast it told the truth:
"For SaleA Scotch collie thox-'
oughly1
trained can tell black from
Now what did the advertiser in the
following think of when he left out
the small ladies?
"Large ladies' neckwear house de
sires to secure a city salesman state
age," etc.
The following is a good one:
"LostDog answering to the name
of Gypt can waltz on both legs."
Listen to this:
"$25 RewardA lady's gold watch,
lost between Union Square
and.^!-
.Twentyrthird. .street
Here is one1
that may have been
written by a husband who suddenly
remembered, after he had been to his
"lodge," that his wife had given him
verbal instruction to have an "id"'
inserted in a daily paper-of this city:
"Board without lunch table, must:
be too good one bed."
What the advertiser meant to say,,
as the corrected "ad" the next day
showed, was that breakfast and din
ner, but no lunch, were wanted that
the table must be good, and that the
two persons wanted only one bed..
Here is a weird one:
"For SaleA choice villain, White
stone, L. I. fishing, boating."
The fact is, the advertisement pub
lished the next day, properly, made it
plain that the advertiser had a villa
in Whitestone which he regarded as
choice, and he so described it.
An advertisement appeared in a
newspaper last summer which came
out a second time, but in quite a new
form. Whether tne original shape
was the result of the hasty wort, of
the advertiser or the typo is a ques
tion. This is the way it came out
first
'To LetCottage at New Rochelle.,
faces the Sound, good mosquitoes."
The "ad" appeared more invitingly
when republished in a reformed con
dition with two words that had been
forgotten by the advertiser in his
hurry not to miss his train for New
Rochelle, or by the man behind the
types. It read thus:
"To LetCottage atd New Rochelle,no
**e
faee
Sound, goo bathing,
mosquitoes.'
The following is a decidedly good
one:
"Wanted by a commission house, an
experienced bug to assort samples of
woolen goods." The same advertise
ment in another paper asked not for
a bug, but a boy.
WAS HEARING IT ALL.
Not Listening, But He Missed Little
of the Conversation.
She was on the street car, and her
girl friend was with her. She had a
shrill, catarrhal voice, and persisted
in telling her companion all the in
nermost secrets of her own and of her
relatives and acquaintances to the re
motest degree, in a tone that filled)
all the space not occupied by a dozen
fellow passengers. She was particul
arly minute in the relation of the de
tails attending the presentation of a
ring by "Johnny D., whom she 1B to
marry this spring."
This episode was finished as the
car was nearing Cobb's creek. The
passenger who sat in the seat im
mediately in front of her, and who*
had, in consequence of thld proxin.iiy,
been the chief sufferer, turned his
head toward the lady who would not
keep any secrets, and fixed on her a
look that eloquently said:
"Well, you'ye broken the record!"
She encountered the look, took in
the situation Instanter, and retorted!
promptly and incisively:
"Are you listening to our conversa
tion, sir?"
"I'm not listening to It, miss," he
replied. In a distressed tone, "bwt by
thunder, I'm hearing it all." A/'
Except for tin occasional titter 'fe"M^/
his co-sufferers, silence thenceforth j^'- 73i*i
reigned supreme the remainder of that'1^
trip.Philadelpfcja Ledger.
N.

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