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fTm. AfPEA KEEP S W FRWT
1It aims to publish all the" news possible.
2It does so impartially* wasting no words
3its correspondents are able and energetic*
VOL. 20. NO. 48
FLATTERY WON HM
HOW CIRCUS MANAGER WORKED
Great rmatc Critic, Pleased with
Praise His Verses, Wrote Ad
vance Notices for Barnum's "Great
est Show on Earth."
Clement Scott, the late English
dramatic critic, wrote verse in his leis
ure moments.. By this verse he is not
known, for his fame comes as one who
spoke the finai word concerning the
merits of a play. He achieved a high
reputation through his power of crit
icism and his authoritative expression
of it Of this he cared less than for
Frank Perley, the velewua circus
v.- manager,., found ottfc XMs^w&h-goeeV-re-
sults for himself. Perley bad charge
K-Cof "the greatest show oa earth." It
.5 3s of him tfaat the story was told thar
-lie stammered so badly that he had to
be the manager for Barnum and not
for Forepaugh, as he could pronounce
sthe first name and not tfce other.
Perley took "the greatest show"' t*o
England. -It was an event. He de
termined that he would have a notice
from Clement Scott, though his
frieds xn London toM Mm it was im
possible. Scott would not condescend
to notice a circus. Perley made a
heavy wager that be would not only
get a notice, hut one in advance.
A woman told him that Scott wrote
verses, and that be was fonder of his
poetry than of Ms dramatic criticisms
that he had published them and. sent
copies to 1iis ifriends.
After this information the circus
manager called on the dramatic critic.
He aplogteed for sending up his busi
ness card, saying that he had no per
sonstf ones with him. Scott was icy
Perley explained that he had not called
on business, but wanted "to -see *the
man who had given bim pleasure.
Then he talked d'f Scott's verses wit^il
enthusiasm. He tdld him how as man|'
ager of a circus he traveled from one
end of the world to another, and afc
ways carried Scott's verses with him.
Scott was in a melting mood, and Per
ley recited his quatrains with fervor,
The next day the ^English public
gasped with astonishment when it
read a brilliant advance notice Of
America's "great circus" signed by
Clement -Scott.Chicago Record-Her
Concoctions Most Popular at Different
"No, we don't sell much beer in the
morning," remarked George Mitchel,
manager of a downtown cafe. "The
ante*noontime drinks are usually re
stricted to cocktails and straight whis
kies. Early in the morning it is gen
erally cocktails alone that we sell to
"These early drinkers don't seem to
& want anything else,-and it is a fact
that a glass of beer in the morning
does seem a little heavy and not quite
suited to the presumed needs of the
stomach. About 10 o'clock, however,
the demand for cocktails begins to
slow up a little, and orders for whis
kies put in an appearance, gradually
increasing toward noon, when it
usually gives way quickly to the beer
orders. From that time on until 8 or
9 o'clock in the evening beer is very
nearly the exclusive order of our cus
"The taste of the late evening trade
is decidedly variegated, and it is hard
to say What Class of drinks appears
to be the most popular, but it is a
-noticeable fact that requests for
wines, such drinks as absinthe, creine
de menthe, and so tforth, are not made
ifreouently until about this time of the
day. It is a curious thing the way
this taste in drinks marks 'certain por
tions f the day, and I have no doubt
that all men who are in a position to
note it have observed the fact much
the same as I have."St Louis Globe
"Rhodes Scholars" in Engianui.
Those thirty-five American "Rhodes
scholars" who arrived in England not
long ago have -exejted some curiosity.
"All are youngthe eldest being little
over 20all-are scholars, and all are
athletes," says a London paper. 'They
are, however, of the pronouneed Amer
ican type. So pronounced is* their
nasal twang that the prcteoects of their
rising to the Oxford drawl are poor.
These difficulties have, however, no
terrors for the thirty-five. They have
other views. Ben Price, a graduate of
Princeton university, acted as spokes
man. 'What are you going to do on
the completion of your three years at
Oxford?' was asked. 'Will you become
English citizens?' 'Not likely/ cho
rused the thirty-five. 'We are not go
ing to desert the greatest country on
earth,' added Mr. Price, 'for the small
est in extent. Cecil Bhodes was a
great man, but George Washington
was a greater.'"
THE STEPPING STONES*
What tales these stepping stones could
Of old-time happ'nlngs that befell
I often conjure up the scenes,
And muse on many might-have-beens
A ladj' tripping lightly o'er,
As if she crossed her parlor floor
She meet's, by chance, a youthful lord
Riding his charger through the ford
A salutation, scarce one word.
A gentle sigh, that but one heard,
Changed is the trend of their two lives,
For Fate decrees ere man contrives.,
A village maiden, coy and prim,
Her rustic swain of sturdy limb
He steals a kiss, mid-stream, while she
Blushes for fear "the folks should see."
And in "the Warren" there ahead
when will wed,
Whilnames now their play
Long hours by this same stony-way,
What tales these stepping stone could
Of old-time happenings that befelL
English Country Life.
GIVES LESSONS IN .CARVING.
Voung Woman .Who Teaches Men an
"There goes .a woman," said the tall
girl, according to the New York Press,
"who is preparing to confer a blessed.
hjo upon suffering mankind. If she
succeeds in her present plans every
man and also every woman who is in
terested in household matters will be
ready w^tta* a year to canonize her
as a saint.?:1'/
"What isY she going to do?" asked
the nice young man.
"She is going to establish a carving
class for prospective bridegrooms. 1
saw one of her circulars yesterday.
She has 500 of them ready for the
market, sja evidently she means busi
ness. I also saw the list of (possible
patrons to whom she is going to sen*
them. It is made up chiefly of young
men .who- recentl^ipe-SBtered or are
about to enter the married state. She
teas a dozen pupils pledged already*
"The' instruction will be thorough.
Each man will be required to wrestle
Individually, .with all kinds''-off meats,
from the' Sunday morning ham to
the Thanksgiving turkey, and not
nntil he has leasmed to' sever joints
amd slice, cuts -gracefully will he be
granted a degree. Fifty cents a les
son is the price to be charged for
IMs invaluable informatSon. The ul
timate cost will be regulated, y*$f
course, by the ingenuity of the PU3pi
A man,, with a natural aptitude for
caTvisgfsffil probably get through in
six lessens. At that rate the educa
tion is dirt ehea:p and I intend to urge
every man of my..., acquaintance to
avail himself of the opportunity to
master a difficult art."
The nice young man took a note
!book from his waistcoat pocket. "Who
do you say the lady is?" he asked,
The tall girt laughed. "Well, for
goodness sake," she said, "is that
what ails you? I have noticed that
you were acting queerly, but I didn't
know that that was the cause. Who
Is she? When is it to be?"
GREAT LIVE STOCK INDUSTRY.
,miue-f Animals in the United States
V&V Is in the Billions.
Very few people have any idea of
the "Magnitude of the live -stock in
dustry of^ the United States. If shown,
by official government count, that the
horses, mules, cattle, hogs, sheep and
goats in the United States number
more than 220,000,000 head, and that
their value is, according to the same
authority, more than $3,200,000,000
(see twelfth census of the United
States), the figures alone would have
very- little -attraction- or -meaningto- the^state-of "Washington
the majority of readers. But when
told, in addition thereto, that these
animals would make a solid column of
more than eighty-nine abreast reach
ing from San^Francisco to Boston, or,
if placed in single file, a solid proces
sion that would reach nearly ten
times around the earth and, further,
that their value exceeds the total com
bfned value of all the corn, wheat and
other cereals, potatoes, hay, cotton,
sugar, molasses, tobacco, lumber,
wool, coal, petroleum, silver, gold and
precious stones, iron, copper, lead,
zinc and other metals produced annu
ally in the whole country, then per
haps some adequate conception may
be formed concerning the magnitude
and importance of the live stock in
dustry of the United States.Chicago
Science of Onychomancy.
The latest science is, undoubtedly,
onychomancy, or the science of read
ing the fortune from the finger nails,
According to the onychomancist, the
tiny white specks which come and go
on the nails are not the result of
chance, but from them, can' be read
"the past, present and future." These
innocent looking specks are almost as
difficult to decipher as the Tines on
the palm from which the palmist tells
us so much. Their size, shape and
position are all taken into account.
The specks nearest the tip of the fin
ger relate to the past, those in the
center to the present and those on the
half moon to the future. As in palm
istry, the right hand has to be read
in conjunction with the left. But a
feature which gives this seience an
advantage over all its rivals is that
these fateful specks are constantly
coming and going. Consequently a
number of readings at different times
must be given to reach an accurate
one. The revival of the science, for
it is really not a recent one, is traced
to a foreign source. The consort of
a Continental sovereign came across
an onychomancist at a well known
watering place and was so delighted
at his aptitude in expounding the" un
known that she insisted that he in
itiate a member of her suite in all its
mysteries. He did so, for a-larg con
sideration, and the pastime has been
continued at the Continental court.
"For My Sake."
Three little words, but full of tenBerest
Three little words the heart can scarce
Three little words, but on their import
What wealth of love their syllables un-
"-For my sake* cheer the suffering, heir
On earth, this was my worX I give it
If thou wouldst follow in thy Master's
Take up my cross and come and learn
'For my sake' press with steadfast pa
Although the race be hard! the battle
Within my Father's house'' are many
There thou shalt rest and iom the vic
"And if in coming days the world revile
If 'for my sake* thou suffer pain and
Bear on,' faint heart, thy Master'went
They only wc
How would you enjoy stalking a
herd of, moose in the forests of Minne
sota? How would-you like a contest
with a brown bear, or a wild cat?
What would you think of a hunt for
hippopotamus and giraffe in the wilds
of Africa? All these big game thrills
are to he had, by a man who is blesseJ
with a vivid imagination, in the Palace
of\ Forestry, Fish and. Game, at the
those who kill ganfe for the pure love
of killing it, and those who regard the
slaughter as a necessary evil and the
one disagreeable part of hunting. The
latter class may find the keenest en
joyment in this mimic game preserve,
where all varieties of wild animals and
fowls are brought together^|J?.o the
instinctive sportsman the .?ef|t&|^iri
this building may serve as remirfders
of his own? triumphs with the gun.
ifhidee^aiis astonishing collection of
stuffed and mounted animals is of uni*
versa! interest, if one may judge"1by
the crowds that are at all times as^~
sembled around the*' exhibits. Men
who never handled a gun, gentle ladies
and timid' children are among the
most interested of the spectators.
These once terrible but now harmless
creatures appeal to us as a living
menagerie behind secure iron bars
does. Yet the animals in the game
display possess one advantage over
those in the cage. They are quite as
safe, and they are in their natural
One of the most popular groups is
the bear's raid on a honey tree. The
mother bear, holding tight to the hol
low trunk with her sharp claws, is de
fying the swarm of angry bees while
she drops the sections of rich comb
down to her expectant cubs. The situ
ation is one that appeals to every
child. For some unexplained reasor
the bear is the first animal to invade
the nursery. He is on the* second page
of the "A C" book. The boy who
wishes to frighten his little sister in
variably plays he is a bear, and the
bugaboo that gets bad children is sure
to be a bear. The place that honey
occupies in the childish mind is too
well established to be questioned.
Another exhibit that both delights
and perplexes the little people is that
ety of game this section is unsur
passed. There is everything from the
wool seal, that lives under the water,
to the eagle that lives above the
clouds. There are deer, moose, bears
and wolves but the astonishing part
of the display is the procession of
small bears around the outer edge of
the booth. It is a procession that
never gets any farther, for each bear
occupies exactly the same spot on
which he stood at the opening of the
exposition. They are all erect on their
haunches, and each one carries an
electric light bulb. One small boy
whose father is in the habit of going
for an annual bear hunt in the north
west remarked to his mother after he
had contemplated the Washington sec
tion for some minutes:
"Mamma, I think papa ought to go
out there next time. The bears carry
lanterns so that you can see them at.
night when they can't see, you. It is
ever so much safer than hunting by
The hunter who was caught in the
act of being pounced upon by a terri
ble bear, and was possessed of such
courage and presence of mind that ho
warded off the attack with the butt of
his gun, and has succeeded in warding
it off since the opening of the exposi
tion, is another favorite with the boys
in the Palace 'of Forestry, Fish and
Game. He is a splendid, sinewy fron-
HUNTER ATTACKING CINNAMON BEAR.
In Palace of Ho res try, Fish and Game.
tiersman,, in bucks]kin
and hirf face betrays no terror as be
looks into the angry eyes of hig ad
versary. This is a display of bravery
that would go to the heart of any boy.
The most realistic of all the exhibits
is that of Minnesota, a section in the
northeast corner of the building.
There is real jearth, planted witb real
ST. PAUL AND MINNEAPOLIS. MIN SATURDAY. NOVEMBEK 26.1904,
Hunting Big Game at World's Fair
Fine Examples!of Taxidermist's Skill'
By EMILY GRINT'HUTCHINGS
trees and underbifish, and the walls Of
the booth are covered with a painted
forest scene thatfearries out the-illu
sion, that the perfectly mounted ani
mals are actually in their native
woods. :i, !.,.'',jv'v :r
An enormous moose stalks along,
followed by two others almost as large
as himself. Hungry foxes snarl and
show .their keenVwhite teeth. The
hawk is poised so|perfectly among the
he seems to be
ling, a the badgers thrust
al little faces out of their
s, justl as the hunter has
them Jn the forests of the
Both Colorado And New York have
interesting collections of game ani
mals and birds, tfobunted to look like
"the real thing," and the unique Can
ada pavilion t^at|is surmounted by a
turreted bridjfeoWosed of 3,000 vari
eties of Canadmn$vood is simply aiiye
with stuffed animals. The beautiful
snow-white bears' and the musk ox.
with his stately consort are the most
attractive of the Canadian animals.
England, which is supposed to have
nothing but birds and relatively small
game, displays the most amazing lot
of animals. There is the handsome
striped zebra that never was believed
to be anywhere but in the circus and
on the last page of the "A C" book,
but that now is being crossed with the
horse to produce the z^brula, an ani
mal that is as strong as the mule and
possessed of vastly more endurance.
Who ever heard of hunting zebras in
England? But then England extends
all over the globe. This part of the
British big game exhibit came from
In the same section are the long,
drawn-out necks and amusing little
heads of the giraffe and his mate, and.
between them the head of the hippo
notamus that would be the ugliest
brute on earth if it were not for the
wart hog close at hand. Around the
corner are various kinds of antelope
and deer that are named according to
the number of kinks in their horns,
the koodoo having three and the duik
erbuck none at all.
The New Fall Hat.
"I can easily tell whether a woman
has her new' fall hat on without look-
ing at her head," remarked a young
man to his companion as they walked
down Chestnut street. "You can tell
her by the way she glances into the
shop windows in which she can see
"It is. always amusing to me'to
watch the women on the street at the
first of the season. Those who have
not yet purchased their new bonnets
walk along without regard for the win
dows unless there is some display
which attracts their attention. But it
seems as though the mirror at home
isn't sufficient for, the ones who have
just donned their new headgear,
teviery possible means of reflection is
utilized by them.
"Oh, no, I don't say "it's vanity it's
only a matter of getting used to their
altered appearance." Philadelphia
TRAVEL AMONG THE PIGMIES.
Returned Explorer Asserts They Are
Active and Intelligent.
Dr. Geil, an American traveler, is
in London after extensive explorations
in Africa. "The pigmies," he says,
"are the mqst dangerous savages I
have ever met. They are quick, very
warlike, and the women fight as hard
as the men. They are experts in pois
ons, which they use to advantage
against their enemies. I think there
SPECrMEri OF MOOSEV*
In Minnesota Exhibition Forestry, Fish and Game.
has been some confusion in the past
between pigmies and dwarfs. The lat
ter are found for the most part in the
'little forest' and on the outer edge of
the 'great forest,' whereas the pig
mies are well within the 'great forest.'"
Pigmies and dwarfs are distinct in
"Entering the great forest from the
south end of the mountains of the
Moon, after crossing the Semliki grass
lands, I came across the pigmies in
about three days' journey. It is a curi
ous fact that the pigmies pitch their
camps within about half a day's jour
ney of the big savagesthe giant sav
ages, as they are called. Although I
had to sleep fully armed, I was never
"It has been my invariable rule to
treat natives as gentlemen. I find
that the greatest savage appreciates
kindness and consideration. In my
journey through the forest I used com
passes to guide me. The pigmies can
find their way by simply looking at the
trees. They are a wonderful race
active and intelligentthe Japanese of
An Awkward Situation.
George Borgfeldt, head of a whole
sale bric-a-brac firm, has had many
an experience with his five hundred
employes, some of which are amusing.
It is. the custom of the house that
each buyer lunch with the especial
salesman who has him in charge, at
the expense of., the. house.
One day Mr. Borgfeldt called an ex
pert but always overdrawn and hard
up salesman to him.
"Shaefer," said he, "when was it you
took Mr. So-and-so out to lunch? I
see you have us charged up with a
lunch for him."
"Yesterday," replied the salesman
"In the middle of the day," asserted
the salesman without hesitation.
Mr. Borgfeldt shook his head uncom
"That is remarkably strange," de
clared he,.-"because it was yesterday in
the middle of the day that I took him
out to lunch myself."Philadelphia
The Lesser Evil.
A pompous individual from the East,
says a Texas newspaper, happened to
be traveling in Western Texas and
stopping at a hotel when trouble start
ed among some cowboys, whd pre
pared to conduct the argument with
"Stranger," said a Texan to the
pompous man, "it would be a good
idee fur you to lay down on the floor
till this dispute is settled."
"It does nofT comport with the. dig
nity of a Boston gentleman of. my
profession," said the pompous gentle
man, "to wallow in the, dirt on the
"You may be right, stranger," an
swered the Texan, as he prepared to
recline, "but my opinion is that you
ha* better lose yer dignity fur the
time bein' than to have the daylights
let Into your system by a '44.'
W&WV* APPEA STEADIL GAINS
VALUE OF ATHLETIC SPORTS.
Games Help to Form Life to a Great
Extent, Says Writer.
Concerning the educational value of
games there can be no question, but
the points in their favor as influencing
and benefiting national character and
national spirit are rarely so strikingly
set forth as by Dr. Warre, the head
master of Eton, in C. B. Fry's Maga
Dr. Warre lays stress on the su
periority of games as opposed to the
cultivation of mere athletics. A na
tion's sports help in tracing the de
velopment of the nation's life, serving
as markers of progress. "Rowing,"
for instance, according to Dr. Warre,
"has played, as a serious business, no
inconsiderable part in the .great events
of human" history, and yet as a mere
pastime it is inferior to none," says
"And then, again, games
valuable in school life as teaching
mutual respect and self-restraint and
endurance, along with quickness and
observation and readiness of decision.
These stand them in good stead in
after life. Games help to form char
acter to a wonderful extent and I do
not know any means by which you
can so quickly arrive at an estimate
of human character, of individuality,
of personality, as you can by watch
ing people at games or engaged in
any sport that calls for endurance,
patience, celerity of mind and body.
"If I had to lead a forlorn hope I
should like best to have with me some
of my old shipmates, some of the
steady and *rusty men who never fail
ed in the supreme struggle of a uni
versity race. That is what is meant,
of course, by the hackneyed old say
ing of the battles of England being
fought oh the playing fields of Eton.
It is absolutely true. You get down to
the bedrock of human character by
means of- games. Any substitution of
technical gymnastics for games is in
advisable the mental and moral be
ing, quite as much as the physical,
loses immensely by such substitu-
The Political Aspect.
Mark Smith, former congressman
from Kentucky, was telling the story
of a Kansas senator who appeared in
Washington with, a long beard, then
suddenly cut it off.
"If you must know," said the senator
upon being asked, "why, it was like
this. I was in the Senate one day,
working away, when two pages came
up behind me.
'He's from Kansas,' whispered one.
".'No,' said the other, 'I'm not so
'We'll prove it,' declared the first
page. 'I'll go up behind him and give
him a good, hard kick. If a jack rab
bit don't jump out of his beard then
"I'l leave it to anybody," concluded
the senator, "if it wasn't time to cut
off the beard."
A Baohelor's Birthday.
With a. lingering taste of a youth nearly
Alone in this valley of tears
Facing the future with never a cent
Childless, unwedded. and imp.enitent
At somethingty-something years!
With naught for a home but a little hall
No sweet', tho* expensive, young wife
No chubby-faced darlings to scatter hte
No midnight paradings in airy costume
To brighten his sorrowful life.
Not his is'the joy of discharging the cook.
Or of trying to capture a nurse,.
His face never wears the beatified look
Of Jhe spouse paying bills' for' the lady
At the altar for better or worse.
Ah, pity this mortal so laden with ills,
Whose life is so empty of cheer!
Here he stands with no husbandly, fath
No iceman's, no milkman's, no doctor
In his somethingty-somethfngth year.
E. A C, Jr., in New York Times.
Such is Fame.
Sir John Millais when at the height
of his popularity chanced one day to
meet, an old schoolmate named Pop
herd whom he hadjaiown well in his
days of poverty. He called to him by
name. The stranger turned.
"And who may you be?" asked Pop
herd, who looked like a tramp.
"Don't you remember me? I ami
Millais," said the great artist,
VWell it's little Johnny Millais, sure
enbugfci" said the tramp, noting the
distinguished figure of the artist.
"Well, to judge from your appearance,
I suppose you gave up art long ago.
What's your line, any way? Where
did you get your money?"
"I still paint," groaned Millais, "and
yon havp never even heard of 'me.
*It is the organ of ALL Afro-Americans.
6It is not controlled by any ring or clique
6It asks no support but the people's-
MEANT TO LIVE LONG.
Figures Seems to Show Man Should
Exist for a Century.
There has been very little, if any.
change in the duration of man's life
since the days of the patriarchs that
is, some four or five thousand years
ago. Every* one did not attain to great
age in those days, any more than they
do to-day, for various reasons stated
in the Bible. Abraham lived to be 175
years old (but his two younger broth
ers appears to have died before him).
Abraham's wife,-Sarah, lived-to be 127
years old Isaac lived to be 180 Ish
mael lived to be 137 Jacob lived to
be 147 Joseph lived to-be 110 Kohatt
lived to be 133 his son, Amram, lived
to be 137 his son, Moses, lived to be
120 Aaron was three years older than
his brother, and died some years Le
fore him Joshua lived to be 110.
The number of persons reported in
1900 as centenarians and over was:
England, 170 Ireland, 578 Scotland.
46 Sweden, 10 Norway, 23 Belgium,
5 Denmark, 2 Switzerland, none
Spain, 401 Servia, 575 France, 213.
This is not by any means a complete
list, as only some countries are given,
but it helps to prove that we should
live to be 120 years or over, and that
we do not do so was not the plan or
intention of the Almighty.
$2.41) EH YEAS.
O N THE FIRING LINE
DETAILS OF A SKIRMISH
Very Little of the "Glorious Pomp of
War" in This ActionMen Kneel in
Mud H|J to Return Shots of En
emy. There are some graphic touches in
the report of Lieut. Fred S. Young in
which he tells of a battle in Mindanao
last* summer. "About 4:30 this morn-
ing," he writes, "the enemy attacked
us from across the river at our camp,
just below the outpost near the Moro
camp. The command turned out
promptly and drove them off in less
than fifteen minutes. As soon as the
men could obtain breakfast I took
thirty across the river to follow the
trail if possible. We left camp.at p:30
and ^arrived in front of the enemy at
about 10:30. As we approached the
enemy's position the trail opened into
one more distinct in appearance,
through a slough 800 feet from rhe en
emy's position. This is the trail we
were in during the fight which fol
lowed. We had gone some 750 yards
on this trail and were, I found later,
within fifty yards of the river when
the guide stopped and held up his
hand. Gampor, the Moro interpreter,
who was with him, said to me, 'Mucho
heinte.' I kept the command quiet
and sent the interpreter forward to
reconnoiter. Our position was on the
edge of the river and I could not find
more than twenty feet of ground to
operate on. Although I had the high
grass broken on either side of our,
line nothing but water was found.
"We were cooped on this spot for
forty-five minutes, during which time
we fired and, were fired upon inces
santly. So soon as the enemy re
turned our fire my men were ordered
to lie down and 1 kept them down.
It was a brave man who stood up, as
the enemy knew our position and had
firm ground up and down the river on
their side. They had positions from
behind which they fired and they kept
their cover well. Four of our men
were wounded. The enemy's casual
ties were unknown. We fired over.
1,500 rounds, and fifty of the enemy
killed is considered a conservative
estimate. The men of our side were
hit trying to get good aim over the
high grass, and had to rise behind
cover to do it. They all deserve great
credit for their work. They were hit
at various times, and not until the sur
geon urgently recommended that they
needed prompt attention did the com
"I spent, thirty minutes trying to
find a place from which I could flank
the enemy, but found none we could
hardly get room to fire. The men
were kneeling in a mud hole, half un
der water. We seemed to be on the
only firm ground on our side. When
the order was finally given to retire
we had silenced the enemy's fire, and
the command was ordered to fire vol?
leys. There seemed to be no way to
cross the river, and as much as I de
sired to actually stand upon the en
emy's ground, we had to console our
selves with a view from our position.
Our.return was slow. We put the
wounded on litters, and they carried
well. The men used bolos through
the jungles and literally cut our way
back to camp."
He Knew the Game Too Well.
"There was a very rich old man in
Washington," said "Jack" Adam*,
"whose daughter was in love with a
young man about town. The old man
consented to ask the suitor to dinner
to see for himself if he had any bad,
"All went well until the third course,
v/hen the old man needed some salt.
He asked for it, whereupon the young
man pressed his thumb and second
finger gently but firmly around the
bottom of the shaker, laid his -finger
as firmly on the top, set it carefully,
down in front of the old man, then
gave it a little push toward him in
the way in which practiced hands ma
nipulate a pile of poker chips.
"The old man watched the perform
ance intently, then broke off the
"He was a poker player himself, or
had been." A
Dreams of You.
You'll live by the western sea
the hills of azure blue
Leagues will separate us, dear,
be true to you.
When I sit by my lonely fire, on some
dreary winter's night.
And the nickering of the blazing hearth
is all I have* for light,
I'll call up days that are gone, then,
dear old summer days
Days that have gone forever, dear, and
live only In the blaze.
To close my eyes and dream, dear, when
you and I were young,
When brightness lighted up your eye,
and love was on your tongue
That is the way I'll dream, dear, as I sit
beside my hearth,
While the 'snowflakes fall in feathery,
haze upon the darkened earth.
I'll dream and dream of you, love, with
your lovely eyes and hair.
And pray to God to keep you safe, If I
be here or there.
Thomas Colin Evans In Los Angele*
Mark Twajn's Quick Retort.
Many years ago when Mark Twain
was a struggling journalist he found
himself one day with a note coming
due and a total lack of funds with,
which to meet it. Half distracted be
was rushing around the city in a fev-^
erisb hunt for funds to tide him over'
the trylnlg time.' He rushed a little
too quickly, however, for as he was
turning a corner he collided with a
little man and overthrew him. The,
victim regained his feet and yelled:",
"You do that again and I'll knock
you into the middle of next week."
/"My dear sir," said the apologetic .^-y
humorist, "do it by all means. If I v/'-7"
can get through till then without
breaking I'm safe.'