Newspaper Page Text
3 uwm miimii rjjLiMBaoMuian j um.iwj.nw fc'Jt-Wmili lljff AflffWJlWI'MBHUAl uwiif? mi mijm.iuajwiuTr ur o iIr. and Mr, Spoopeiutyko. Drake's Miwizinc "Now, n; y dear," said Mr. Spoopon dyko, shuttling the cards and dividing tho checkers into two even pile; sup pose wo play a little game of poker. Do you know how to play poker?'1 "i guess so,,r replied Mrs. Sponpen dyke, liitching un her chair and dustini the top of the table with a towel. "Now, how many cards do you want.?" "Let me think, "'fluttered Mrs. Spoop- ondykc. "Lot's see. 1 believe I'll take ton." "Better take a gross!" snorted Mr. Spoopendyke, eyeing her wrathl'ully. "Perhaps you'd like half a barrel. Don't you know you can't draw but five? If you've got any bad cards, throw 'em away and I'll give you more for 'em. If your cards' are all good you can stand pat. Do you want to stand pat?" "I guess so," sijrhed Mrs. Spoopen dyke, helplessly. ""If I stand pat, do I play the eight or the queen?" "You don't play either," replied Mr. Spoopcndyke, helping himself to live cards and drawing a couple of kings. "Now, it's my bet. I bet two; what do you bet?" "Then I bet two," answered Mrs. Spoopendyke, brightening up as she began to see her way clear. "I bet a queen and an eight," and she laid them clown with confidence. "That calls my hand," said Mr. Spoopcndyke, gleefully, "only you don't; bet your cards; you bet your checkers. Put in two checkers and show your cards." Mrs. Spoopcndyke shoved her check ers into the middle of the table and laid down three eights and ap:iir of queens. "Where'd you get 'em?" roared Mr. Spoopendyke, recognizing his defeat. "Wlmt'd ye want to keep talking about the three of eights and this two of queens? Why didn't ye tell me you had a full hand?" "You gave 'cm to mo," returned Mrs. Spoopendyke, doleful fy. "I only had thoie live. What does it do?'' "It makes a jack pot!" growled Mr. Spoopendyke, seeing a chance for him self in his wife's utter ignorance of the game. -"Now we've each got to put in one checker, just because you played in that way." "T'm sorry, dear," cooed Mrs. Spoop endyke, rather pleased with the idea of getting out of the scrape at any expense. "And yet f might have known it would have made it a jack pop, if I had stopped to think!" "When you stop to think, you only waul a stick of chewing-gum and a rat-trap to bo mado a female seminar ! Do you know what a jack pot is? Got some kind of a notion that it has throe legs and is used to cook mush in, havc'nt ye? Well, it isn't, and it isn't to sit there and grin at, either! It takes a pair of jacks, or something as good as them to open it. Now, take these cards and tell me whether you open it, or not!" Mrs. Spoopendyke examined her cards critically. Mr. Spoopendyke. His wife laid down four aces and a jack. Mr. Spoopcndyke glanced at the hand and then at his own cards. Mis ace was only the joker, which he had for gotten to remove from the pack. "Which opens it?" inquired Mrs. Spoopendyke, watching the gathering storm with some trepidation. "Nothing opens it!" yelled Mr. Spoopendvke, dashing his cards to the floor. "With your wuy of playing it, it would take a steam oyster-knife to open it! ILow'd ye think it was opened with a night key? Got au idea thnt it had hinges, haven't ye, ana opens wiliest when it has nothing to say, like your mouth?" "Must L bet my last cent now?" fal tered Mrs. Spoopendyke, profoundly impressed with the idea that tho game was still going on. "I've got four dol lars, but J want one for wiggin. Shall I bet the other three?" "Bet 'em!" howled Mr. Spoopendyke, who, like a great many men, regarded tho idea of his wife beating him at any thing as something intolerably blasphe mous. "Why dona yo bet? Bring forth tho speculative three dollars and haz ard it on the fourtriumphant aces! Wah-h-h-h!" and the conclusion of Mr. Spoopendykc's speech How out of him too fast for perfect enunciation. "I don't care," murmured Mrs. Spoopondyke, as alio wound tho clock, and stood scratching her nose with tho key, "he told mo that four ace? were as good as the jack pot, and when 1 opened it, he said I was wrong. Another time I'll put them in mv pocket and he can play away at that jack pot until he's bald before I'll help him to get it open!" And with this riotous determination, Mrs. Spoopendyke crawled into bed and dreamed that she had got oaujrht in a jack pot with a spring lock to it, and couldn't get out became she had left the four aces in tho pocket of her plum-colored silk. Tho Tn-Crnt Southern I'lo. New Orleans TlinrrMH-niocrnt, The principal feature about tho com mon run of eating houses south of the Ohio river is the plain, unassuming, little apple pie which they set forth. You can buy the pie for only ten cents, but it is seldom that a passenger eats more than one in a lifetime"! After you have eaten it and drank one or two glasses of water the pie gets sociable and gradually impresses upon your mind the fact that you will not be lonesome as long as it travels with you. The strangest thing is you never do. About fifteen minutes after you have made its acquaintance the waistband of your pants cannot meet is note and demands an extension. A half hour later, when you retire to your berth in the sleeping car and fall into a troub led jdumber, the pie, not being at all flecpy, concludes to have some fun. The first thing you see in your dream., is your own body gradually swelling into the shape of a balloon. Tho bal loon gels larger and larger until it pushes the upper berth to the top of the car, and you hear the smothered crie for help of the man it contains, The swelling increases, and you imag ine that j on float upward and bump against the roof of the car, liko a toy balloon which has escaped fiom the grasp of a child. The feeling lasts for some lime, but suddenly you swell un til yon fill the interior of the car and sullocate tho passengers, when you ex plode and the train is wrecked. Open ing ) our eyes, you find tho porter try ing to pry your knees from under your chin with a crowbar, while a number of passengers, aroused by your sepul chral groan 5, stand around in their nightclothes and want to know if you feel sick. This tickles the little pio, and it kicks up its little heels with de light, and makes you froth at the mouth and howl like a wolf. The ten cent pie is proud of the fact that it has taken hold of a strong man, who had been shot through and never murmur ed about it, and doubled him up until his spine cracked, hurled vm from one side of his berth to the other, and made him bellow for paregoric like a child. This is the stlc of pie pre pared by eating hotues in the south for the l-onelit of travelers. It weighs, four ounces, contains three dozen full irrown cramps, and can always be pur chased for tho small sum of ten cents. radoes, and so care is taken that where ever a royal prince may go he shall al ways have his invisible escort of police. The prince of Wales is guarded nearly as vigilant su the queen. If he travel's bv rail surveillance is kept by the police all down the line: if his royal highness hunts, rides, drives, or takes a stroll on foot through any part of the Wet End a detective H sure to be close at hand. So it is with other members of the royal family in those agitated timps; and irksome as the supervision may be. it has to be submitted to with good grace because of its absolute necessity. The police, however, are sadly worried at times by those foreign prince?, who come to visit our own rjyal family, and who delight in slipping out of palaces for rambles through the streets without giving any notice of their intentions. Some detective or other is always held responsible by his chiefs, and severely reprimanded when such a thing hap pens. , , A Hiitciclnl I'ollr'. Kansas Cliy .Journal. There is one class of strikes that ap pears to us to be perfectly suicidal. We allude to those in the house buik' ing trades. Building houses is oho of tho forms of investingcapital that helps the poor man directly. The richest man in America only nreds one house to live in, and when" a man builds two houses one is for rent; and the moie it costs to build a house, the higher tho rent. Then again, if a man can't build a house at, a cost to justify it, he can let it alone, aud neither the man who works nor Use man who rents is bene fitted. Then again, these strikes gen erally hurt the contractor more than they do tin capitalist, for contracts are usually made in the winter, at the rul ing prices for labor, and this very fact is generally the motive with striker. A man has a contract to lay a million brick within a certain tme, on an agree ment made months before, and the logic is that he will 'oo money rather than fail and the strikers strike; for his wages as a mechanic and his profits as an employer both, while he is as much dependent on his woik as the are. And tho very men who thus force him to lose, by p-itting up tho cost of all buildings, raise the rents over the heads of their own families. Wo have seen this so often illustrated that wo can only wonder why the men cannot see it themselves. Tho !rih A xiintor'ti Hrothor. ."vwaiinnli Ncwh John II. Parnoll, a brother of the fa mous Irish leader of that name, owns t no largest peach farm in the world. It is situated about six miles below West Point. There are 12,3,000 peach trees in it. besides a large number of other kinds of fruit trees. They cover 700 acres. Mr. Parnell has planted 500 acres of voung trees this year, and re ports his business a pa) ing one. This ear's crop will be tolerably good, not Withstanding the freezes. Tnkiii Cure of I'rlnoon. Chamlx'Th Jourunl. When Napolean III. visited England, in 1855, the government of the day suf fered agonies of anxiety lest harm should befall him; and those alarms weie renewed in 187-1, when the late Czar Alexander II. camo to London. Or. both of these occasions money was poured out like water to insure a prop er protection of the illustrious guests, and the police did their work so well, that, although there were serious reas ons for believing that malevolent ref ugees were brewing mischief, both em perors left the country without having heard so much as a rude word. The police, however, may be pardoned for having felt the most pleasurable relief when the visits of these much-threateu-od monarohs camo to an end. When the chief commisioner, Sir Richard Mayne, received the telegram that Na poleon III. had safely landed in France, he remarked with quiet satisfaction : "Now I shall bo able to get a good night's rest." Many of the dillicultios of the police in guarding royal person ages comes from theso persons them selves. Princes who are bravo do not liko to have their footsteps dogged in private life; and will sometimes grow impatient and augry when they find out that they have been watched for their own good. They have to be watched, nevertheless," whether they liko it or not. It would never do for a royal prince to be kidnaped and detained as a hostage by political or other despe- I'r ohibitlon in Iowa' Oauilia Itrpuhlic'fin. The Iowa prohibitory amendment reminds us of the old story. An eastern firm sent a bill against a western mer chant to a western lawyer. The lawyer returned the bill with the word "Dead" written across the faco of it. Not very long afterward the eastern firm, by mistake, sent tho bill again. The imperturbable lawyer wrote across the face the words "Still dead," and re turned the bill again. The amendment is still dead. HOUSEHOLD. Swiss Puiino. This is the way in which Miss Parloa prepared a Swiss pudding for her New York class: The rind of :t lemon was grated into a pint of milk, which was put upon the stovo in a double boiler. A toneunful of fljurand four tablespoonfuls of butter naving ncen ruooeu together, the milk was poured upon them as soon as it boiled. All the ingredients were put into tho boiler to bo cooked live minutes, with a stirring during tho first two. Tho yolks of five eggs and three tablespoonfuls of sugar wore beaten together and stirred into tho boiling mixture, wkich was immediate ly thereafter removed from the lire and. set away to cool. When it had become cold the whites of tho ogjjs, beaten to a stiff froth, were added. The pudding was turned into a three-quart mould that had been carefully buttered, and steamed for forty minutes, when it was turned out upon a hot dish and served at once. Creamy sauce ac companied this pudding. Haifa cup ful of butter was beaten to a cream, and, while the beating was continued, half a cupful of powdered sugar was gradually added. When the 'mixture was light and- creamy four tablespoon fuls of wine were added, and then one fourth of acupful of cream, a little at a. time. When the sauce had been beaten smooth the bowl containing it was sol into a basin of hot water, and the stir ring was resumed until the sauce was perfectly smooth anil creamy, no long er. This condition was secured in a few moments. Wastk Pai'KU Baskkth. Tho fash ionable color for ornament in j: waste paper baskets is a deep rich rrangc. Scarfs of silk of this hue are drawn carelessly about two sides of square baskets, or draped from the top of those which are round or oval. Orange ribbons are embroidered with daisies or cornflowers, and drawn slantwise over one side of a basket or run in and out of the mushes of iho wickerwork in such a way that all the embroidery is fully shown. Catfish in Batter. Cut the fish in pieces about two inches in length and one inch in thickness, beat three eggs very light, adding salt, pepper and enough Worcestershire sauce to flavor them; dip the fish in this batter, and then roll it in cornmcal or in ci acker crumbs; fry in plenty of lard until it is a dark brown; garnish with lemon sliced, if no greens are available; col ors' tops, parsley, or small and tender lettuce leaves are preferred . Hlmihf.ii Cats. One objection to tho ingrain cai pet is that the high heels which servants delight in wearing on thick shoes seem to catch at the threads and drag them out of place, producing a rough surface; another is that the legs of heavy chairs have the same ef fect. One way of saving these carpets is to cover the ends of the chair legs with rubber caps at a cost of about sev enteen cents. The servant's heels arc of course, amenable to no such remedy. Tic a Koi.ls One quart of Hour, one half-teaspoonful of salt, three teaspoon fuls of baking-powder, a tablespoonful of lard, one pint of milk; mix as soft a dough as you can handle easily, aud take pains not to work in much flour on tho moulding-board; cut out in nar row strips, about three inches long; rub tho top over with a little hot milk. and bake m a hot oven. 1k1 CooIch ill Lho South. AuKUHta i (.in ) Chronhlc. We state positively that most of the cooks in the south to-day are ignorant of tho elementary principles of the culinary art, and that they are either too stubborn or too stupid toboinstrue ted. A practical branch of cookery taught by an expert would be a valua ble addition to our public school system. What is the use of a cook who reads novels and does not know how to broil steak or make soup palatable? A Koj'nl CarrliiK The Prince of Wales' new railroad carriage is a marvol of aesthetic deco ration. It is fifty feet long, and con tains saloon, study, two bed-rooms, two dressing-rooms, and a bath-room. Tho prince's bed-room is hung with old gold silk, and tho furniture is uphol stered to match. Mirrors are let into the door-panels, and tho whole suite can bo lighted either by candles or bv ( electricity. Clisanmxc Mihkoks. I)ust-clothar and dish-cloths are good things, aiuf so is a glass-cloth when its use is con fined to table-ware, but she who tries to :;lean a mirror with (doth is foolish and wasteful of time. Soft paper and' ammonia are tho proper things, andt when Ihey are used the mirror is lo', speck less and bright in a very sliort time. I tun Hi .... . rn lcniATo ioast. nun a quart of stewed ripe tomatoes through a colan der, place in a porcelain stew-pan, season with butter, pepper and salt J and sugar to taste; cut slices of bread thin, brown on both sides, butter and lay on a platter, and just boforesorving add a pint of good sweet cream to tho stewed tomatoes, and pour them over the toast. The Shonlwater, Oregon, hay oystcr-beda arc giving evidence of recuperation, and it fa thoughttlie damage by last wlutur'B severity baa been over-estimated. 1