Newspaper Page Text
fxyM' H?c-old fifcdtK-
t isn't the coot of the dresses
That makes ablg holo In the purso;
It Isn't tho co3t of tho boarding,
Although that could hardly bo worse.
Nay, LMs Ih what makes us a bank
rupt, And leaves us of money bereft:
Tho gas bill they want us to pay for
Tho house that wo shut up and left.
Boll weevil's In tho cotton,
Black rust Is In the wheat;
Pray, won't some kindly Insect
Tho breakfast foodstuff oat?
Littlo Bopcep had lost her sheep
And didn't know whore to ilnd them.'
"If they wero only street car hogs,"
sho moaned, "I'd just know whero to
look for them!"
Heroin wo can seo tho disadvantage
of being a shephordess.
When childhood's gay frolicking
Paid with a bruise,
Brown paper and vinegar
Quick thoy would use.
And now when Society's
White paper and viuego
Clovls had just slain tho warrior
for breaking tho vase of Soissons.
"I'm glad It happened," ho mused,
"otherwise, later on, I would havo
been compelled to kill tho cook for
Shuddering at tho thought of such a
Ions, ho continued tho rovlow of his
Adam stepped on n banana peel in
tho garden path and fell with a sick
"I don't understand this at all," ho
muttorod; "I thought tho Job was to
bo dono by an applo."
Hastily gathering himself together,
ho trekked off to consult Evo.
Pocahontas Interceded for John
"Do you want to roduco tho voto of
tho ward?" sho domandod.
Hastily giving him his naturallza-
FORGES FAMOUS OLD BINDINGS
Shrewd Individual Makes Good
Money at the Business.
"Bool; forging is my business," said
an elderly man, on a roof garden. Ho
had been drinking, and this mado him
moro communlcatlvo than wise
"Yc3. sir, I am a book forger." ho
continued. "I mako good money at it,
too. Last year I mado $7,500."
"What, may I ask, Is book forgory?"
said tlnj man's companion.
"I'll toll you. It is tho binding of
old books lu such a way that peoplo
think o'd masters bound them. I can
tako an old book worth, say, $5, and
1 can put on it a Groller binding that
will make it worth ?200. That will
only bo about two days' work $195
earned in two days.
"I used to bind books legitimately
at a blndory and my salary was $35 a
wock. I couldn't live on that, you
know, with my oxponslvo tnstos.
"Well, one day a rich patron
brought a Groller to tho shop to bo
repaired, and I, just for fun, copied tho
binr'ing. Then I got hold of au old
French pamphlet and I covered it with
tho forged Groller binding I had made.
Afterward I took tho volumo to a
dealer In old books and ho bought it
liko a shot for $105.
" 'Why ho said, 'this lu a gonuino
"That started mo in tho business,
tlon papers, thoy showed him "where
to mako his mark In tho circle.
Johnson had Just finished the dic
tionary. "But," wo aBked, "how did you man
ago to think of so many words?"
"That was easy," ho replied. "I sim
ply Jotted down a fow remarks my
wlfo mado when I camo homo late."
Tho matter thus olucldated, wa
pressed him no furthor.
We used to crown tho hero
With laurel and with bay;
But. now to uso tho "long green"
Would seem tho modern way.
Visitor Is tho campaign hot out
Unclo Si Hot? Why my hens lay
odds Instead of eggs.
Damocl03 sat under the sword sus
pended by a hair.
"No," ho remarked, "I'm not scared;
I seo tho hair is the samo color as
Knowing no complications could on
buo, ho continued tho meal in peace.
Suppose tho world was run upon
A littlo different plan;
Supposo tho horso reversed affairs
And bet upon tho man.
Whon ho had picked tho wrong ono
Things would not look so black,
At least ho then would havo four
On which to hlo him back.
Jonah surveyed his quarters.
"This whalo hotel may be all right,"
ho mourned, "but I'd rather havo a
And with tender recollections his
thoughts flew back to doar old Broad
, Breaks your trust
Preachor tells us
Man is dust.
Rims for ofllco;
If ho doesn't
Prove pay dirt
Gets a licking,
Feels a thud,
Man is mud.
McLandburgh Wilson, in Now York
I mado a study of tho finest old bind
ings that exist. These aro the bind
ings that ero mado for the Valols
kings. Groller and Maioll wero tho
groat artists of tho time, and their
bindings, in tho Hbrarlos of Francis I,
Henry II and Charles IX wero the
most splendid that tho world has evor
"Tho simpler oxamplos of Groller
and Maioll aro tho ones I forgo. I
sell my forgeries to millionaires. In
seven years I haven't had i com
A Sultan's Notions.
Tho first timo tho prosent Sultan of
Morocco saw a compass ho was very
Inquisitive as to Its uso. When it was
oxplaiucd that tho trembling' ncedlo
pointed to tho uorth uniformly ho
seemed lutorested, but Incredulous.
Finally ho dcclarod llntly that ho
couldn't beliovo the story, thoro must
bo somo kind of clockwork about it. In
a conversation with him an English
visitor learned that In tho sultan's
mind Bolglum Is tho leading country
of Europe, because most of tho arni3
1 used in Morocco aro received from
St. Jacobs Oil
j Tho old monk cure, strong, straight, sure, tackles
Hurts, Sprains, Bruises,
The muscles flex, tho kinks untwist,
the sorenes3 dies out. Price 25c. and 60c.
EWJ&IIT VAIID II JL IIC and will send you prospectus
If AH I I UUII HAlHE and full particulars of NINE
SUCCESSFUL COLD, SILVER, COPPER, LEAD, ZINC AND QUICKSILVER
Mining Companies, if you will send us vour name and address. Mining Maps Free,
ARBUCKLE-GOODE COMMISSION CO., MS Olive Street, St Louis, Ms.
TALK ON ADVERTISING
By C. W. Post to Publishers at Banquet at Battle Creek.
The sunshine that makes a business
plant grow is advertising.
Growing a business nowadays is
something like growing an apple-tree.
You may select good seed, plant it In
?ood soil, water and work with it, but
iho tree will not produco fruit until
another and most powerful, encrglz
ing and life-giving element is brought
to bear. You must havo sunshine and
lots of It. Can you expect to ripen
apples in tho dark? Can you expect
to grow a profitable business plant
nowadays without the sunshine of pub
lic favor produced by advertising?
This Postum plant is a good illus
tration of that law. It seoni3 but a
short timo ago whon I put a fow men
at work in tho carriage house of the
harn you havo seen to-day, whero we
began making Postum coffee.
Tho seed thon planted, less than 9
years ago, was a now kind of applo
seed and it was not altogether certain
how tho peoplo would liko tho apples.
Wo did our work thoroughly and
plenty of it. Wo knew we had a good
Some thoughtful man might say that
if what you manufacture has merit,
onco you got a trade established peo
pie will continue to purchase, even If
tho advertising is stopped, but to act
on that conclusion would bo a fatal
mistake, for there aro always bright
mon on tho lookout to steal your ap
ples, and if you give them the chanco
thoy will como in and take tho fruit,
sure. RipH here let us drive a nail,
not a sMnglo nail but a forty penny
spike. Your article must havo merit,
far and away beyond the ordinary un
advertised thing. It should be the
vory best that human intelligence and
ingenuity can produce. Thon you havo
a foundation to build upon that will
not slip out trom under when tho
building grows heavy. There are per
sons ignorant enough to believe that
i poor article can bo ndvortlsed into
a success. It cannot and any ono who
trios tho oxperiment will pay heavily
for his experience. Critically examine;
any well known and advertised articla
that has been years on the market and
Puro Food Factorios that Maka Postum and Grape-Nuts.
Postal C. O. D. Department.
T3se British postal department is
willing to establish a 0, O. D. parcel
dollvery. Tho larger firms favor it,
the smaller firms aro protesting.
applo troo of fino quality but how to
develop our work and turn the applo
tveo into a -productive and profltablo
troo was another question.
It needed sunshino and tho kind of
sunshino that is spread by tho news
papers and magazines. It is an abso
Into certainty that without the pub
licity thus glvon In other words, tho
sunshine tho buslnoss novor would
You havo soon to-day factory build
ings thirteen or fourteen in number
covering many acres of ground, em
ploying hundreds of workpeople, pro
ducing food and drink in an aggregate
of four million pnekages per month,
which goes to every civilized country
on tho globe, and yet tho entiro enter
priso is less than 9 years old. Wo
havo found It necessary, Inasmuch as
tho tree has grown and the apples ma
tured by hard work and sunshino, to
contluuo tho work and tho sunshine
day In and day out, month In and
month out, tho sunshino appropriation
amounting to approximately a million
dollars a year for advertising, for ex
perience teaches that if you maturo
tho tree under strong sunshine, and
bring it up to a thrifty and healthful
stato whero it produces profitable ap
ples, you can not withdraw that sun
shine else the tree will gradually die.
it will bo found to possess exceptional
In ancient days nowspapcr publish
eis considered an advertisement An
evil but a necessary evil, and that it
should bo hidden away as carefully
as possible so that no ono would dls
covor that tho paper was trying to
mako a littlo money by inserting pubi
lie announcements. A paper run that
way today woula fall.
Tho most successful exponents of
tho now plan of doing business with
Ink and papor aro using every possi
ble means to mako tho announcements
nttractivo and sought after by tho
It is safe to say that thousands of
women read tho newspaper not the
telegraphic pago, but the pages con
taining announcements of bargains In
stockings, skirts, hats, gloves, pianos,
furniture, food for the tablo, etc.
You havo been invited to visit Bat
tlo Creek for tho purposo of viewing
ono of tho most unlquo advertising
buildings in tho world, also to look
over a largo business built up, sus
tained, nourished and kept active by
sunshine, and, at the same time, have
au opportunity to see one of the most
thrifty, active aud prosperous towns
of its size in the world, bujlt up large
ly by the samo kind of sunshine.
When writing advertisers, Kindly
mention this paper.
W.N, U, Oklahoma City No, 43, 1904
BEGGS' BLOOD PURIFIER
CURES catarrh o! tba toiuMh. '