BWKrsoKMmu&ia? i'P"ii'i'ii 1l, i'niiiliilliiiii!i|iiNiii
Humorist Hems.
A panetul sightA hothouse
What the milkman never treats you to
A nice cream.
Motto of a communistOraer is
Heaven's worst law.
How to acquire a shoit-handFool
around a buzz saw.
Out in the Black Hihsjack rabbits are
(Called narrow-guage mules.
The Louisville Courier Journal parses
''love" aa a "fine-night verb."
It was on entering a barber shop that
sRienzi said, "I come not here to talk."
A Wisconsin base ball player took a
hot liner on his nose, and now he smells
through his ears.
The Greeks kept no cats, and wore no
'boots hence they had no use for boot
jacks.
A young Oil Citizen calls his sweet
heart Revenge, because she is sweet.
Oil City Derirk.
"All flesh is grass" yet a very poor
quantity of hay is obtained by cutting
one's fi iends.
Put two slices ot cucumber into a pho
nograph and hear whether or not it yells
for a doctor.
Twins have occurred fifty-six times in
Ohio within tlie past year, so great is the
demand for Ohio men.
An Irishman wanted to know if tfce
lihero of Greece, "Mark O'Bo/arris" wasn't
a son of the old sod.
Mad dogs might as well go out of the
business. There are now thirteen dif
ferent cuies foi hydrophobia.
The young man who boasted that he
could marry any girl he pleased found
that he could not please any.
If there is any one who is anxious to
fanow how to make a dollar, he is respect
ed /o visit the mint.
A new cigar has been named the "An-
nex." It is to be hoped that the propri
etors wi 11 not charge anextra price for
ithcin.
A sign posted up in a Wisconsin saw
mill reads: "The saws are all running
no use to touch them to convince your
selves
The all is so balmy that the young
wompn who is taking piano lessons can
have the window up. This is very grati
fying to us.
Didn't you alwjus notice that when
you tpilled a bowl of gravy tt dinner,
the attraction of gravy-tation is strongest
toward jour lap?
Mister Twiggs. "This is how it is,
Miss some flowers are like some peo
ple plant 'em anywhere and they'll
grow beau ti-ful."Lmdon Fun.
"One is glass in eyes and the other is
Isinglass." That is the answerand a
ver cle/er one it i*, too. What we want
aow is a conundrum to fit it.
There hasn't been a Western town up
set by a tornado, or i nt in twain by a
cycle foi a whole day. Go West, young
man, go Wcat and blov up with the
country.
"What is the name ot your cat, sir:'
inquired a visitor, "llis name was Wil-
liam," said the host, "until he had tits
and since then we have called him Fitz
William."
"Why," asks a housewife, "does poik
shrink in the cooking?" Woman avaunt
Wo are too busy trying to rind out why it
shrinks in the smoke-house to answer
such a trivial question.
An editor asks: "How do the Indians
pet arms?'' and the' atrocious Cincinnati
Saturday flight supplies the information
as follows: "W-ll, very much as they
get legs and other things
On being asked why he went into
bankruptcy, he replied "Well, my li
abilities were large, my inabilities num
erous, and my probabiirties unpromising
ADd so I thought I'd do as my neighbors
do."
"What good is they, anyhow?" scorn
fully remarked a bootblack, referring to
the fair sex Did you ever know 'em to
stop and give a feiler a job? Not much
They ain't got no shoes on fit to blacken,
.anyway**."
"Gates Ajai" may be very beautitui in
the mind' eye of a sentimental young
lady, but when a fellow is hurrying home
upo a daik and stormy night andfinds a
few gates ajar he cusses awtully. That
is, if they swing across the walk.
When yon see a Jung man come stroll
ing up the stieet at twilight, witn his
face: II bcrafclied,
4'When xtI
no hat, a white vest
with traces ot canned peaches on it, and
light pantaloons torn aud ragged, it is a
flign that that 3 oung man has been on a
.picnic, and firmly believes that he has
Jiad lots of (un.
A magazine writer says there is a lan
guage of the hair. Don't doubt it in the
least. At any rate wc have heard ot tol
erable well authenticated cases where a
.single auburn hair on a dark coat collar
-could talk plainer than a guide-board,
and furnish the material for a whole
couise of lectures.
A little boy hearing some one remark
that nothing was quicker than thought,
said, "1 know something that is quicker
than thought. "What is it Johnny?"
asked his pa. "Whistling," said Johnny.
I was in school yesterday, I
whistled befoie I .bought, and got licked
for it, too."
He thought to head off the voluble
barber. Srtting down in a chair, he said
want a shave, a shampoo, a bath, a
bottle of hair tonic, oue of Florida water,
a private cup and brush, and a stick of
cosmetic." The tonsoiial artist was stag
gered for an instant, but quickly recov
ering, he suggested that he was the agent
rfor "The new patent flexible steel-wire
Khair orush, warranted to keep in any
climate, only $: and six bits." The
shaver was catching his breath for a
Jresh stait, but the customer slid from his
.chair and escaped.
1
A Horse's Sense of Smell.
An African pony, unlike Job's war
horse, "smelleth'' not "the battle afar
off," but he will smell a poisonous snake
at a sufficient distance to avoid him.
An English gentleman was leading his
pony one dav in South Africa, when he
iiaw his Kaflir servant suddenly jump on
one side. Knowing that it was a snake
that had alarmed him, the gentleman
dropped the reins and went forward to
Mil it. It was a puff-adder, the reptile
which, it is thought, Cleopatra used to
Commit suicide. Killing it with a stone,
he examined its glands and found them
tfilled with poison.
H&mg.
On returning to the pony and advanc
ing his bend to take the reins, the horse
shred back in great alarm. For several
minutes he would not allow his master to
approach. 6ome of the odor of the adder
had attached itselt to the gentleman's
hands, and the cautious animal, being
warned by his sense ot smell, was afraid
that there was danger even in his masters
touch.
The horse's nose is, as every boy who
has trained a colt knows, one of his
means of gaining knowledge. If a horse
is afraid of an object, the best way to re
move his fear is to let him smell of it.
A Paw-Paw.
BY MAI/RICE THOMPSON.
In dusky groves, where cheerily all day
loug,
Mocking the nut-hat'-h and the cardinal,
The trim drab cat-bird troll its fitful song:,
I hear the niello v, golden paw-paws fall.
What lucious fruit! Scorned as of little worth
those who long foi guavas of the South,
Figs and bannas, pining that the North
Is barren of the luxuries ol the earth!
Fruit, that I sought in childhood, with a
mouth
Eager to taste thy wild delicious juice
What orange grown in groves of Itah,
Of what pomegranate ripened in the dews
Of Greeian idles, would I not now refuse
For the rare-flavored, raey pulp of thee!
Scribncrfor July.
4M^-
Recent Postofiici* Rulings.
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Mail-canitrs cannot carry unsealed
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1 xisting between ublishers, decline to
furnish information showing the amount
of postage paid by any publications in
any one year.
The law providing tor the forwarding
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dressed, without additional charge for
postage, does not apply to printetl or
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The addition ot the date on a printed
ciicularby a hand-stamp, subjects the
same to letter rates of postage.
Advertising sheets, folded within the
issue of any publication, sent to regular
subscribers,subject the same to the rates
tor third-class matter.
Hand-bills sent fiom the printer to the
party ordering the same must be charged
as merchandise, and postage paid at the
rate of one cent for each ounce or fraction
thereof.
A publication, in order to avail itself
of the pound rates, must be mailed at the
poot office nearest the claimed office or
p'ace of publication. It may also be
mailed at othei offices at the pound rates,
to regular subscribers, by news agents
A husband cannot control the wife's
correspondence, nor can the wife control
the correspondence ot the husband.
Postmasters are exempt from militia
duty.
Private individuals cannot send any
communications in the mails fiee of post
age, no matter to whom it may be
addressed.
The words please forwaid" on the
address side of tbe postal card subject
the same to letter rates of postage.
A postmaster may attend to business
for private parties, if it does not inter
fere with his duties as postmaster, it he
chooses to do so.
The erasure of an address on a postal
card and the substituting of another does
not make such card umailable Western
Postal Review.
A Boy's History Composition.
Henry VI. died one day with great suc
cess. He left three children who did nor
fare to go with him. Their came0 were
Mary, Elizabeth and Edward. The last
was the'Ed of the family. He was a boy.
His sisters were not. Their father also left
Will. His will was. stronger than all his
children. By will Earl Hertford was to
boss the State while Edward was young
He was only ten ^ears young. Hertford
loved the glass so well he became a tumb
ler, and was called the Duke ot Summer
set. He wanted the King to take the
Queen (of Scotland but the trick was lost
because the Scotch refused to assist.
The Duke was called the Protector be
cause he protected his own family and
put everybody else away in the Tower.
The border men of England and Scotland
were those who boarded on the frontier
and bored each othei almost to death
so they had a fight about Edward rnairy
ing their queen. The English attacked
thtm by water, which they cou'dn't stand.
History says thatthe Scotch loss was ten
thousand and the English two hundred.
History lies, probably. The government
told the people what to belive. If the}
did as they were told, they must pay taxes
for their "belief. It they didn't do so.
they were roasted. Things were red hot.
Somebody told stories about the Protec
tor and so he was taken to the Tower and
had his head chopped off. It was not
much of a head,but he hated to part with
it. There was a rising of the common
people, but they did not know what lor.
Most of them got raised on to trees with
ropes around their necks. Some very fat
men were burned, thus making light of
their complaints. Now I guess it is time
tor the little king to die. He was only
sixteen when he gave up the crown and
the ghost. England is not yet done, so I
cannot finish the history yet.
Saying aud Doing.
His first battle tells the courage ot the
soldier. Many think before the battle
that nothing can frighten them. When
it begins they are panic-stricken, and dis
grace themselves by cowardice. Col.
Chester, of Connecticut, who commanded
a company of his townsmen at Bunker
Hill, used to tell a good story of two of
his soldiers in that battle. A* large and
powerful man, standing by the side of a
pale-faced youth of slender figure, said to
his comrade:
"Man, you had better retire before the
fight begins: you will taint away when
the bullets begin to whiz around your
head."
The pale stripling replied
"I don't know but I shall, as I never
heard one but I will stay and see."
He did stay, and was seen by Col.
Chester during the battle, calm and firm,
loading and tiring with great coolness.
But the burly giant by his side was miss
ing, and at the retreat was found alive
and unharmed, secreted under a hay
cock. Boastful words and moral courage
to face any danger rarely go together.
The Stolen Locket.
In the elegantly furnished drawing
room of a West-end mansion sat a young
man, whose genteel bearing, broad noble
brow, from which his chestnut hair was
tossed back in graceful carelessness, and
largj thoughtful eyes bespoke him to be
one of nature's noblemen. He was evi
dently waiting impatiently for some ODe
for, as a slight noise was heard
on the landing, he would start, and fix
his eyes eagerly upon the door.
At last, apparently unable to sit still
any longer, he arose, and, walking to the
window, stood tapping nervously on the
glass, and watched with listless eyes the
chamehon like crowd that passed. While
thus occupied he failed to hear a slight
rustle as the girlish figure entered the
room and gliding softly to his side touch
ed him lightly upon the arm. His quick
start and the loving, gentle manner in
which he gathered her to his heart
showed at a glance that they were lov
ers.
While they hold sweet converse let us
pause a moment, while I describe my
herome.
She was of a medium height, of a slen
der, delicate figure, and possessed of a
nameless grace of movement, which add
ed to her other charms, h?d won her the
name among her many admirers of
"Nellie, the Irresistible." Her beauty
was of the true blonde type, and clad as
she was in a shining bluedress shelooked
worthy of her name. On her arms gleam
ed with a tawny luster broad golden
bands and from one of the3e, hung a
tiny heart-shaped locket, one side of
which bore a forget-me-not set of tur
quoise,wrth a brilliant diamond sparkling
in the center.
Guy Hartley, for such was our hero's
name, had called, glaJ of an excuse, to
acquaint Nellie with some arrangement
which he had just completed with regard
to their soon approaching marriage and,
after a short time passed in pleasant con
versation, te reluctantly rose, and bid
ding a tender adieu to the fair girl, left
the house with a firm, elastic tread.
Hardly had he taken his departure
when the front door bell again rang, and
once more a young gentleman was usher
ed .nto the drawing-room. The new
comer was tall and slight, with jet black
hair, and a piercing look in the black
eyes that boded no good to an enemy.
As he sank into a chair, something glist
ening upon the floor caught his eye and
as he ncognized it he could scarce refrain
from a shout of pleasure for Fred Acton
had long been the secret rival of Guy,
each striving to win the hand of fair
Nellie Pomeroy. And now, as beheld in
his gTasp the tiny locket, which by some
evil chance had become detached from
the bracelet on Nellie's arm he felt that
he possessed an almost certain means of
revenge on Guy, an I stand perhaps, a
better chance of winning the fair girl for
his wife for the locket, as he knew, had
been Guy's first 1 ve-gift to Nellie, and
was prized as one of he choicest posses
sions.
At this moment the footman entered
the parlor, presenting Mis-s Pomero'ys re
grets, and a request that Mr Acton would
excuse her that afttrnoon. The truth
was that with her womenly intuition she
had long divined the secret which he had
thought kno'vn to himself alone and
having ever treated him with polite in
difference, she felt less inclined now than
ever to endure a tete-a-tete with him.
Rising as the tootman entered with her
message, aud scarcely able to conceal the
pleasure it afforded him at this moment,
when he was still trembling wrth the
tear of having been teen as he hastily hid
toe shinning bauble in his bosom, he lett
hib compliments and departed.
Going directly to a jeweler's, he pur
chased a small ring, wich which he last
ened the locket securely to his watch
chain, and then sauntered down the street,
in the hope of meeting Guy. His wish
was destined to be fulfilled" tor he was
shortly gratified by seeing Guy approach
ing, with a scene, contented Isok on hi?
handsome tace.
As they stopped to chat, Fred, as if
anxious to conceal something, placed nis
hand caielessly on his watch-chain out
Guy. as was intended, noticed the action,
and saia, laughingly: What is it you are
so jealously guarding, Fred A love-token
from some fair lady?"
"Yes but tor fear that it might Plight
cur hopes in that direction, perhaps I
had better not show it \ou just at pres
cut," laughed false Fred,"nervously.
"Oh, never fear for me!" said Guy,
"for I have already caged my bird, and
so shall not prove a dangerous rival to
your suit."
"Well, then, behold!" replied Fred,
removing his hand, and disclosing to
view the tiny locket.
Guy turned pale as death but, master
ing his emotion by a violent effort, he
playfully insisted upon knowing the
name of Fred's charmer.
fcOh, come." said Frod, "you are feign
ing innocence tor surely you must haye
often seen this trinket upon the arm of
fair 'Nell the Irresistible,' who has thrs
day bestowed it upon me as a pledge of
hertruo love."
Guy had stood as if turned to stone
while this flippant speech was being rat
tled out, and then, with a few common
place words, passed on but his tread was
not as free and elastic as before he met
Fred, and his head, which then had been
raised proudly, was now bent forward
dejectedly for a dark cloud had sudden
ly arisen, which threatened to overshadow
forever the bright morning of his happi
ness.
Fred watched him pass on with a sar
donic smile on his handsome yet sinister
face, and thought to himself, "Ah, mv
fine fellow, 'there's many a slip 'twixt the
cup and the lip,' as you may find to your
cost and then you will know the conse
quences of standing in the way of Fred
Acton!"
1=
~n
That evening, in her luxurious home,
Nellie watched and listened in vain for
the familiar footstepts she had learned to
know so well and she retired to rest at
last, sad and dispirited, and with a dim
sense of impending trouble, that was yet
too vague to shape itself into connected
thought.
The next morning, as the family were
gathered around the breakfast table, a
servant entered the room with a note ad
dr essed to Miss Pomeroy." Grasping
it eagerly, spasmodically, Nellie tor** it
open, and with blanched face read the
following laconic note:
Nellie: AH is over between va.
*WBB5S5Si5E.~
Thank God I have discovered your per
fidy before it was too late. I had the
fullest confidence in you, Nellie but
tnat is past now.
I leave for France to-morrow, never I
trust to revisit tnis country which would
now be but a sad home for me.
-j Your once-devoted lover,
1 Guy Hartley.
Mr. and Mrs. Pomeroy, occupied in
their own conversation, had not noticed
the sudden paling of their daughter's
face, asshe hurriedly scanned the familiar
writing, till, as she reached the fatal
termination, her eyes c'osed, and with a
low moan ot agony she sank to the floor
in a death like swoon.
For five years Guy wandered through
Europe tor five years he vainly strove
to find forgetfulness and happiness in
constant exciment and change of scene
but failng in this he had at last resolved
to visit again the land of his birth, if
only to mark the ravages which time had
made among his old inends. So he re
urned to London.
Not once had a suspicion of Fred Ac
ton's treaschery crossed his mind, for to
Guy he had always shown the oetter part
of his nature besides the proof of Nel
lie's duplicity had seemed too conclusive
to admit of any lingering doubt his love
might have suggested.
And Nellie? Thrown into nervous
fever by the cruel note from Guy, she
wavered long between life and death:
but finally her perlectconstitution gained
tbe victory, and she again mingled in the
gay world ot fashion but a certain sad
ness was perceptible in her manner
and a weary look in her blue eyes
showed that her heart was not interested
in the gay scenes by which she was sur
rounded.
Vainly had Fred Acton sued for her
hand. Feeling that he was in some man
ner connected with Guy's mysterious be
havior, she had only scorn to give him.
At first she had hoped that some trivial
act of her's had displeased Guy and he
would soon return,but as the weeks rolled
on and no word came from the absent
one, she finally ceased to expect him.
Fred Acton, after repeated refusals
from Nellre, bad at last given up all
hopes of winning her hand but, loving
her still, as much as his selfish nature
was capable of loving, he attempted to
drown his sorrow in the wine cup and
with drinking and last horses, was rapid
ly easing up the handsome property lett
him by his father. One day, while rid
ing as break-neck speed, his horse,fright
eued at a fluttering rag, shied, and threw
him. When the hastily-summoned phys
ician had examined his wounds, 1IJ pro
nouced him mortally injured.
Knowing, then, that for him all
thoughts of revenge on Guy were useless,
and that he must soon render up au ac
count of his evil deeds, his thoughts
turned to Nellie, with a feeble wish that
he could undo the wrong he had done.
So he dedicated a letter, confessing his
sin, begging her forgiveness, and con
taining the locket, and dispatched it to
the injured girl, who, true woman that
she was,could not butpity the dying man
bitterly as he bad wronged her,"and that
he might not die thinking himself un
forgiven, sent a note to the hotel to
which he had been carried, but the mes
senger reached there only in time to hear
that the unhappy Fred Acton had breath
ed his last.
Guy had supposed that Nellie and Fred
were long since married but hardlv had
he set foot in London when he was re
cognized and accosted by one of his old
friends, who among the gossip he had to
relate concerning Guy's old cucle of ac
quaintances, mentioned the fact of Fxed
Acton's deat'i, and also said that Miss
Pomeroy was as beautiful as ever, but
unmarried. At this Guy's heart throb
bed wildly, and his brain almost reeled
with the ide*a that perhaps his own rash
ness had dashed the cup of happiness
fiom his lips. Could there have been
treachery in Fred Acton's conduct, and
had he wronged Nellie all these wearv
years?
Wildlv he asked himself these ques
tions while on the way to his hotel, and
by the time he had arrived thoie he had
resolved that he would at leat see Nellie
and have an explanation wi*h her Once
more he turned his steps toward the well
known house where he bad spent the hap
piest hours of his life once more he was
ushered into the familia room, where
even the pictures an the walls sec raed to
smile on him in tiiendly recoguitron.
Bronzed by travel, the old family seivant
failed to remember him, so be ga\e no
name, meiely requesting to see Miss
Pomeroy.
Nellie soon appeared but hardly had
she crossed the threshold when the eves
ot love recognized him. and wrth a wild
scream of "Guy, deai Guy!" she was fold
ed to his heart.
Long explanations followed. Nellie
told of the loss of her locket on the day
of Guy's last vipit, and how she had re
gretted it, being his gift. Sre also tola
of the dying confession of Fred Acton,
and his restoration of her locket, which
she showed him, worn on a blue ribbon
about her neck.
Guy, penitent but loving, was fully for
given by his deeply wronged Nellie, who,
in the joy of sush a reunion, had no heart
to blame him.
Soon after there was a grand wedding
in the stately mansion and, although
the tair bride's ornaments were milk
white pearls, there hung suspended irom
tbe central clustei of her necklace a tiny
locket, bearing on it a blue forget-me
not.
Never i orget Anything.
-A successful business man says there
were two things which he learned when
he was eighteen which were afterwards of
great use to him, namely, "never to lose
anything, and never to forget anything."
An old lawyer sent him with an impor
tant paper, with certain instructions what
to do with it.
"But," inquired the young man, "sup
pose I lose it what shall I do then?"
The answer was with the utmost em
phasis
"You must not lose it."
"I don't mean to," said the young man
"but suppose I should happen to?"
"But I say you must not happen to! I
shall make no provision for any such oc
currence. You must not lose it!"
This put a new train of thought into
the young man's mind, and he found
that if he was determined to do a thing
he could :.o it. He made such provisions
against every contingency, that he never
lost anything. He found this equally
true about forgetting. If a certain mat
ter of importance was to be remembered,
he pinned it down cat his mind, fastened
it there, and made it stay.
Loyeliness of Blondes.
I come now to a type of blonde beauty
which is the high-bred Barb of them all.
She is no taller than the little ridiculous,
and equally well rounded and vitally ex
uberant, but not in the same manner as
sociated with laughter. For the purpose
of nomenclature, this type may be styled
the nervous gold blonde. At 18 her gos
samer hair is like sheaves of gathered
sunbeams, but it darkens with years, and
finally puts on the smouldering swarthi
ness of gold-bronze. When the light
falls athwart its ripples, the gold is visi
ble to the last, but in the shadow it is
bronze cotor. with a dash ot goiden, al
ways wavy, never curling. Gray eyes,
with a pupil that dilates and contracts with
every passing emotion, rendering the eye
velvety black sometimes, and tometimes
very gray, with the smallest possible
pornt of black in the center, belong by
right of inheritance to this type. She
has the pyriform face of Dante's Beatrice,
and her ears are two pink shells that oce
is tempted to cut off and preserve
as curiosrties. Her features, cut with
cameo distinctness of definition, have an
aquiline tinge that is mainly noticable in
the slightest possible prominence of the
nasal bridge. Her complexion is roses
and lilies, her skin of the texture ot the
finest satin. The parietes of the nostrils
are thin, mobile and almost transparent,
and when she is excited two pink spots
about as large as htr finger-tips are vrs
ible. Ah, then, beware! Indeed, every
aspect of the wole organization indicates
biain aud nerve, temper and spirit, rather
than softness anel yet she can purr like
a cat when it suits her or spring like a
panther when the occasion calls tor it.
Prty theunso- histicated beau who im
agines that he can flirt with her with im
punity. He is certain to be ensnared,
bewildered, then laughed at, with such
bubles of rippling and musical laughter
as an amused seraph could scarcely imi
tate, overflowing her firm but feminine
lips. No rosebud mouth is hers, but one
in which beauty and decision meet, each
modifying the other.
She has hair of golden hue,
Take care, beware!
She can make love as well as you,
Take care, beware!
Longfellow says that she has eyes of
laughing blue he means eyes that dance
witli tantalizing laughter but this the
poet commits an error of observation.
I know of only two women in this city
who are the perfectron of this type, with
the beautiful and highly-emotional gray
eyes that pertain to it. One of them is
an old lady, who iscons'antly engaged in
ambitious projects, and succeeds by
splenoid tactics, where most men ot re
putedly great abilities would fail. The
other is a young woman with whom an
intellectual triumph is of more value
than the adulatrou of her hundieds of
admirers and yet, if she once gave her
mind to it, what a fascinating coquette
she could be sensitive, imaginative daz
zling, delusivea brilliant talker, and
one who can create semblances ot poetic
dreams without tioubling herself to
dream themif you are not impression
a )le, an houis gossip with a woman of
this type is like sipping an infusion
of ambiosia. Her -lelicate litte hand,
with its pink nails and rosy finger-tips,
is a magneto-electric battery with five
delrcately-taperirg poles. Her com
plexion is white satin suffused with pink.
Mifcs Bionte, the daughtor of "Jane
Eyie," had the forehead and mouth of
the nervous gold blonde, but her eyes
were hazel giay. This blonde is the
sweetest and truest wile when her master
corner but woe to the dolt who tries to
tame her!Appleton-s Journal.
Two Genevras.
One of the saddest casualties ever re
corded is that rf the death of two
daughters of Mrs. Ame'ia Moench, first
assistant teacher of German in the Frank
lin school ot thiscitv. by being suffocated
inatiunk. The little g'rls havo for a
year past been with their father on a
farm four mile^ from Dixon, Mo. Mis.
Mofnch spends her vacations on the farm,
and was prepared to go to her husband
and children immediately upon the close
of school. On Sunday evoning she re
ceived the iol'owing telegram front a
friend living in Dixon:
On returning home last evening, Mr
Moench found both the little girls dead in a
trunk. Am going out to see
C. WALTEK.
Unable to credit tbe awful news, Mrs.
Moench telegraphed to the gentleman,
requesting particulars before the next
train. She was misinformed as to the
time the train left, and, before the next
train, she received another, saying that
her little girls had been buried, tbe ex
treme heat the weather forbidding de
lay. Your correspondent called upon
Mrs. Mo nch this morning. She had just
received a letter containing full particu
lars, but she had not oeen aole to control
her feeliugs sufficiently to read it.
Mr. Moench had gone to Dixon on
Saturday, and bis little girls called cheer
fully to him to hurry back, and, if he
wrote to their ma, to send her their love.
On his return he was surprised not to see
them awaiting them. He called, but re
ceived no answer. He went into the
house and saw the tray of the trunk sit
ing on the floor. A horrible fe* flashed
over his mind. He opened 1he trunk
and found the two girls. The younger
who was underneath, was evidently past
all hope, but the elder was still warm.
Not a neighbor was within half a mile of
them. The tather dashed cold water OH
the children and then rubbed them wrth
vinegar, and made every effort to restore
them to consciousness, and labored with
them until after one o'clock, when he
gave it up and sought help from a neigh
bor. The distance from the railroad sta
tion and telegraph caused the delay by
which Mrs. Moench was prevented from
ever seeing her little daughters before
their burial. Their ages were eight and
five years. The little'girls were in the
habit of playing hide-and-seek, and had
often hid in the trunk separately. It had
been their habit when they saw their fa
ther returning home, in order to enjoy
the sport, to have him hunt them. The
trunk had no spring lock, and why they
were unable to raise the lid remains a
mystery, but it is supposed the heat over-
5 '.^w^^^^^fe' "f**
came them immediately. Their faces
gave no indications that they struggled
or suffered, being caim and smiling.#.
Louis Telegram to Chicago Tribune.
I _^_
The Good Grandfather.
The other day, when a good citrzen
wanted some repairs to his boJts, and
stepped into a small shoemaKer's shoD on
Antoine street, he was greatly astonished
to see a boy about five years old playing
with a revolver, while the old shoemaker
pounded away at his pegs as contentedly
as if Colonel Colt had never ex isted.
"Is that revolver loaded? asked the
customer, as he hesitated about sitting
down.
"Yaas, I suppoe so," replied the old
man, "but Johnny wouldn't hurt his nice
old grandfather, would you, Johnny?"
"Noap," briefly answered the boy, as
he poked a. stick into the muzzle ot the
weapon.
"But he may shoot me!" exclaimed the
customer, backing off.
"Oh, no, he won't! Little Johnny
wonldn't shoot the gentleman,
would he?"
"Noap," was the soft reply, a& the boy
blew down the muzzle.
"I'm his grandfather," remarked the
old man as the stranger sat down on the
edge ot a chair and slowly palled at his
boot. "Some grandfathers don't like
children, but I can't get along without
'em. He's a noble youth, thai: boy is.
and I don't believe you could hire him to
shoot me for fifty dollars in cashcould
he, Johnny?'
"Noap," whispered the boy, who was
now laying out all hi& stiengtii in an
effort to cock the weapon.
The old man put a piece of leather to
soak, and had just received the boot
when bang! went the revoher, and the
whitewash flew fiom the ceil ng above.
"Give me that bootive me that
boot!" yelled tbe man as he grabbed it
and started for the door.
"It was nothingnobody hurtcome
back'."called the old man, following
after.
"You ought to be horse-whipped for al
lowing such a thing!" shouted the man
as he hobbled to a box to sit down and
pull on his boot.
"No, I hadn'tno, I hadn't," protested
grandfather, still following "Johnny
said he would't hurt you, and he didn't.
He's a noble youth, that boy is, and you
can depend on what he says. Come in
there's no danger."
Johnny appeared at the door at that
moment, wiping the smoke out of the
barrel with his wet finger, and the old
man appealingly said:
"Johnny, tell this gentleman that you
won't hurt him tor all the candy in town,
would you?"
"Noap," softly replied the lad as he
hauled out his finger and wiped the grim
on his knee, but the man rushed off as
fast as he could go. Some men are just
that obstrnate.
Books Among the Ancients.
The use of educated slave labor in
writing rendered books comparativelv
cheep among the ancients. Wc leain
from Plato that in his time the works of
the philosopher Anaxagoras were sold in
the theater at Athens for a drachma, or
about seventeen cents of our money, and
even if as some of the commentators
think, only a single treatise of Anaxagor
as is spoken of, this ia cheaper than the
rate at wnich opera librettos or other
printed pamphlets are sold at our places
of public a/nusement at the present day.
The poet Martifl tells us that his works
were sold in distant Butany at a price
quite as low as a good copy of them
could be bought for to day "in London.
It is difficult in these instances to esti
mate in modern currency the actual
value of books or other articles of sde,
on account of the variation in the value
of the precious metals at different peri
ods. Some writers on political economy
have assumed the rnaiket price of wheat
as a staneiard of comparison in measur
ing the value of other commodities at
different historical periods, but as the
price of flour within the recollection of
this generation has fluctuated between
the extieme limit of $4./50 and $20 per
barrel at retail, this standard can scarce
ly be accepted a1-
a sound oasis for very
accurate calculations Besid- s, the val
ues of the ancient coins differed at dif
ferent periods, and if it be stated that
the price of a particular book was a
drachma, we are at a loss in determining
whether reference is made to the drach
ma of the fathers or a trade drachma.
But without engaging in such abstruse
calculations, it is euough to know that
books in the brilliant Athenian period
ami under the Roman Empire* were
much cheaper than they were at any
time during the first three centuries after
the discovery of the printing press.
A Submerged City in
Geneva.
the Lake of
A strange discovery is reported from
the lake of Geneva. A tourist having
lost his trunk, two divers were employed
to search for it. While they were below
water they found what they supposed to
be a village covered by the lake. Their
statements led to an investigation of the
spot by the municipal authorities, who
took measures to ascertain the truth of
the extraordinary account of the divers.
On covering the placid surface with oil,
these latter were able to distinguise the
plan of a town, streets, squares, detached
houses marking the bed of the lake.
Tae ruddy hue which characterized them
led the observers to suppose that the
buildings had been covered with famous
vermillion cement which was used by the
Celts, Cimbri and the early Gauls. There
are about two hundred nouses arranged
over an oblong surface near the middle
of which is a space more open, supposed
to have been used for public assemblages.
At the eastern extremity lies a large
square tower, which was ta'ken for a rock.
A superficial investigation seems to indi
cate that the construction of the build
ings date from some centuries before the
christain era. The council of Vaud has
decided to have the site of dwellings en
closed by a jetty' stretching irom the
land, and to drain off the water, so as to
bring to light what promises to be one of
the most interesting archaeological discov
eries f our day.London Daily Telegraph.