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? G'CSSIT ron till LADIES. V Jfy lLovc. O, lay love is tail and slender, Foil of grace is Klie ; Slip's capricious, xirouil or tendcr s A.- her mood may be. 0. her voice is lilce the merry Eti] pie rf :: • ' BMB J A And r f&co it lias the wry Sweeiaeas of a dream." Si::."iulit in her hair rcpot-ea. * C.i her eves me gray; B iin June ;i* ;ire the roses, . fkJr v luey. I ever Saw to w^o her, . re my In art onto her, -•:<.■ i :is? i: by? | Little, dainty, fragrant blossom, Be my messenger; Vv'faen you lie upon her bosom, Plead my cause with her. Birds^ O ring it sweet above her, I Breezes, kin her cheek ; I IV I my darling how I love her, I Fcr I daro uot speak ! I Mac Knew Blest. A Boston man besought his wife, he j being but three days married, for the privilege of a latch key. " Latch key !" j she exclaimed in amazement, "what use ..;.i men have for a latch key when the Women's Emancipation League, meets Monday nighty the Ladies' Domestic Mission Tuesday, the Sisters of Jericho Wednesday, the Woman's Science-Circle rimrsday,^ the Daughters of Nineveh Friday, and the Women's Progressive Art Association and the Suffrage- Band on alternate Saturday nights. You stay at home and see that the baby doesn't fall out of the cradle. He stays.— Quiz. ; The Woman Carried tlic Jury. A woman in New York was sued for the price of a dress. She was at once a witness and an exhibit, for she wore the disputed dress on the stand, so that the jury could see its faults. Faulty it was, to tell the truth, and when she drew the 1 sleeve around her skeleton arm, to show how Loose it was, or lifted the surplus cloth on her hips, or grabbed the excess of material on her bosom, explaining at the same time that she had ordered tli3 corsage to tit her like a glove, the dullest of the six jurors could understand that the maker had erred. The attorney for the plaintiff, in cross-questioning, asked if she had not laced herself expressly for this occasion, so as to , make the dress looser. She replied hotly that her corset measure was invariably and unchangea bly seventeen and a half inches, and then, dropping into silent sarcasm, wanted to know if he thought that lac ing would make her arms smaller or her shoulders narrower. This was too ana tomical for the legal gentleman, and he was feeble from that time out. The jury gave a verdict for the defendant. Henry - Say and mine* EH; Stacl* In looking over some old family pa pers Gen. James Grant Wilson, of New York, came upon the following unpub lished sketch^ written for a lady in March, R29, by Henry Clay: Your doire. Lear madam, some lino of friend ly remembrance.! What shall I say ? You have asked Die •■ record something of the celebrated Madame de JiaeL She was the most extraord inary woman of this or any^ther age, blending the philosophy of our sex with the imagination of yours. She seems to have been bestowed on our rare to vindicate the equal claim of tho female mind to intellectual excellence. I knew this reoiaikablo woman in Paris. I iirst met her i-.t a ball given on the occasion of the Peace ofGhentat the banker HbttinugerV. "Ah! Mr. Clay." the said, "the English have been is.'-. mc« ••-■'l against you. I have been lately pleading your ■ '.-'■. London. Do you know they contemplated at one time Bending the Dr.ki of^WeUingtdn to command their armies against you V" I told her that I was aware of the exertion of her eloquence in o:ir behalf, and thanked her for it. I added that I wished tho British Government had sent the Duke. "Why?" aha i. laired, with much surprise. "Because, niadani, b;id we beaten the Duke wo should have gained immortal | honor, while we thouUlJ:ive lost none had we been defeated by tho conqueror of a. Pol :on." I next haw De Stael ;; ber own house, where she intro duced me.lo the! Duke of Wellington, and re lated to him Hie above conversation^ lie re marked \\: < much apparent (eeling and grace Lh:.t he Bhptidhave placed a most noble feather in his cap h\-A lie beaten so gallant a people as the Americans. No Cireands 8«r Eivon'-. A woraan who seemed to bo full, of confidence in her cause halted a pedes trian with whom she had as- light ac quaintance, on Congress street, and asked him if' he knew anything about the law of divorce, and added that her husband had threatened to iile a bill to procure one from her. " Are you mild- tempered ? " asked the gentlem; . . "Mild a > grass," she replied. " Have you ever clubbed him — thrown tea-pots — waved the butcher-Snife— lugged tlfo ax around or made threats?" •X-'Vvr." Have "ycucaid feet? "No." ' "Do yon drink or swear?** " Noith- c one." " Do you try to make home happy ? " 4. (do " > * "Do yon seek to boss him?" "Notiitall." " Are >on choice of y cur company and economical with his money V " "I "Did • >« ever maliciously annoy aim ? " "InnvertlM." "Di yoii ever talk against him to tho neighbor-; ? " '•• N< ■- ■ r. " Wo I .], wliilo Am not a lawyer and therefore not posted, I don't see how he is to secnve & divorce from you." "That's just what ItfSay! He can't do it ! He may scold and threaten and tell what he's going to do, but he can't do nothing ! I'm glad! met you, for you've lifted a great load off ray mind, and if William comes storming around again tonight as he did last night, I'll give him another choking ! If I hadn't been able to handle him he'd have made my life miserable for a whole ten years past! — Detroit Free Press. . Advice to Yom»«; Ladies. John Raskin gives the following ad vice to young ladies : In order to in vestigate oneself, it is well to fiud out •what one is now. Don't think vaguely about it. Take pen and paper and write down as accurate a description of your self as is possible, and if you dare not, find out why you dare not, and try and get strength of heart to look yourself in the face, mind as well as body. » Always have two mirrors on your dressing table, und with proper care dress mind and body at the same time. Put your best intelligence to rinding out what you are good for and what you can be made into. The mere resolve not to be use less and the honest desire to help other people will, in the quickest and most delicate way, improve oneself. • All ac - complishmeuts should be considered as means of assisting others. In music get the voice disciplined and clear, and think only of accuracy ; expression and effect will take care of themselves. So in drawing ; learn to set do^n <b.Q right shape of anything, an •', . ■> 'in its character to another . v. ..if you try only to make - >ga for praise, or pretty on \: isj ment, your drawing will have little or no real interest for you and no educational power. ".Resolve to do each day. .something lseful in the vulgar sense. Learn Clio economy of the kitchen, the good and Dad qualities of every common article of ood, and the simplest and best modes >f their preparation ; help poor families ji their cooking, show them how to make is much of everything as possible, ami I liow to make little niceties ; coaxing and tempting them into tidy and pretty ways, md pleading for well-folded table-cloths, however coarse, and for a flower or two aut of the garden to strew on them. One should, at the end of every day, be able to say, a3 proudly as any peasant, that she has not eaten the bread of idleness. Get quit of the absurd ideif that Heaven will interfere to correct great errors, while allowing its laws to take their own course in punishing small ones. If food is carelessly prepared no one expects Providence to make it palat able ; neither if, through years of folly, you misguide your own life, need you expect ' divine interference to bring around everything at last for the best. I tell you, positively, the world is not so constituted. The consequences of | great mistakes are just as sure as those ■ of small ones, and the happiness of your i whole life and of all the lives over which I you have power, depends as literally on your common sense and discretion as the excellence and order of a day." v - A TALE OF TWO POETS. Eow Tllss Rarrett ITlarrictl Kol>ert ■ tSrowuing 1 on a- Sick-Red. [From Tinsley's Magazine.] . \ Lady Geraldine's Courtship" was ! -■written in twelve days by the invalid, I It contained several allusions to living j poets, and among others to Robert ; Browning, whose "Bells and Pome- ■ granatea was referred to in these lines: j Or from Browning some "Pomegranates" which, if i „j , . cut deeply down the middle, i Show a heart within blocd-tinctmed of a veined ha- | inanity. ! Pleased with this compliment, the poet i called upon Elizabeth Barrett, in order j to have an opportunity of thanking her • personally. Fate oftentimes take* the 1 shape of accident. The poetess was never at home save to a few intimate j friends, and a Dew servant, who opened > the doer for. Mr. Browning, mistaking him fox , one of these, unhesitatingly | ushered him into the invalid's room, ! where they met for the' first time. Pre- ; ■piously, when' she had finished that j magnificent poem, "The Dead Pan," j which teaches us strange mysteries of j melodies, and Hows fervent, free and ] pure; like a great crystal stream, down j the swift, sweet current of sound into the j vast voicefnl sea of profound thought, j Elizabeth Barrett sent the manuscript j to a friend in order to have his criticism, i who in turn showed it to .Robert Brown- ; ii:g. The poet was much impressed by i it, and wro*e a letter to his friend full of | enthusiastic appreciation, which found its way into Elizabeth Barrett's lianas. ■ This incident, no doubt, paved the way to a friendship between them which :.:' -erward resulted in ono of the happiest of ; unions. This part of her life's story | reads more like fiction than fact, but | fiction were colorless beside such reality. Mr. Barrett refused his consent to his i daughter's marriage. She was his favor ite, the object of his pride as well as his love; he it was who helped to form her | mind and store it with the riches it con | tamed; he could not endure the idea o: | severance. Altogether the idea of her I union was painful to him, and from the I day 01 her niarrriage to the end of her ! life he refused to bo reconciled to her, ; notwithstanding her appeals to his affec j tion. However, she now loved in her j 39th year, and for the first time, and for ! a conception of the great depth and sub- I lime fervor of this new affection; which I broke over her .still life and woke her to I a noble conception- of humanity, to a ! clearer vision of that subtle seal power , which binds heart to heart, we have only j to turn to those most-glorious "Sonnets from the Portuguese." In these we sco and feel that her heart has overflown from very force of its happiness, and has broken" out in rapturous songs which chain us with the unbreakable and un broken spell of deepest harmony, tremu i lous with all the glow and lire of ardent, j and pure afieption, fresh as morning, i sublime and sweet as the direct inspira tions of a mind rapt and overwhelmed by the first ecstasy of virgin love, and full of music never before equaled, never bince excelled. Perhaps there are no two lines in the. English, or any other language, which with such simplicity and forco express so much as these: I yield the grave for thy eako and exchange My near sweet view of heaven for caith with thee. And they help to show us and make us comprehend, as far as we are capable, the new spirit which awoke, in her. Two years after her iirst interview with Mr. Browning, Elizabeth Barrett was liter ally assisted from her couch and married to the poet, and immediately after the ceremony they departed for Italy. "Our plans were made up at the last, and in the utmost haste and agitation precipi tated beyond all intention," she writqp to a friend; and further adds: "Perhaps It has struck you that a woman might act more generously than to repay a generous attachment with such a ques tionable gift and possible burden as that of uncertain health and broken spirits; to which I can only say that I have been overcome in generosity as in all else, though" not without a long struggle in tLis specific case; also there was the ,er perience that all my maladies came from without, and tiie hope that, if unpro voked by English winters, they would cease to come at all. The mildness of the last exceptional winter has left me a different creature, and th.3 physicians helped me to hope everything trom Italy; so you see how infill ended." A Bnrlesquer's Beginning... . A young man \rho wants to become a comedian 1 of the burlesque order asks how is the best way to commence. Oh, we don't know. They commence in dif ferent ways. Some carry chairs at first, and pull up the carpet, and stand around holding wooden spears. But the surest way is to appear as a heifer. Don't mis understand us. A young man who ap peared here last year as the hind legs of a stage heifer in a burlesque opera is now the leading comedian of the troupe. We do not know how his experience as the hind legs of a heifer ■ helped him, but he has got there, and gets a salary. -Peck's Sun. ;'£;;■;; "~ — ; — : — — '".' A Supply Beady.- & ( There is now j a brand of tobacco known as Thistle Dew. ; When a man asks for a certain kind of weed and can't get it, he purchases a package of the new variety and murmurs as he takes it, Thistle Dew." This is an example pi a new hand-made joke that we are turn ing out now at this office. We have, 1 in addition to the above highly classical style of mirth, a good, "fair, average stoga . joke, at a much smaller price. Estimates made "for almanacs, minstrel ■»how.- and funerals. We have i a new ted attractive mourning joke on hand now, that makes death almost a welcome messenger. Send ten cents lor cata logue. — Boomerang. Keccut Legal Decisions. ! J A, who was in the employment of B, j bargained with him for the purchase of j , x horse which B owned and kept on his ] farm, the price to be paid from wage* -, to be earned by A.' The horse remained ] an the farm under tho care of A, who { paid for his forage and who claimed ■ ownership of the animal. An attach- • \ Laent against B was levied on the hor.se, ! \ and A brought an action to recover hi a j > as his property, Hull vs. Sigsworth. In .; ] January the Sui)r<^me Court of Errors of ; : Connecticut decided in favcr of the at- i . baching creditor. Judge Pardee, in the j ; opinion, said: "There was no visible ! « change in the possession of the horse, j ] and the declarations of ownership made j '■ by A, including those made at the time of the attachment, must go for nothing, ! • because the apparently-unchanged own- \ ership by B was a constant denial of ; their truth, and, as a matter of law, bore i them down. ■ Millers who were engaged in manu- i factoring flour, mixing for the purpose red and white wheat, and who had 1 wheat in store for the purpose, and who ; were receiving wheat in store for others i and issuing warehouse receipts therefor, ! applied to a bank for a loan and were al lowed the loan on condition of their giving a warehouse receipt for 18,000 bushels of wheat as security. They gave the receipt accordingly, stating therein that they had received in store 18,000 bushels No, 1 white winter wheat and No. 2 red wheat, the same or fan equivalent in flour to be hold for the".= banks as ; ecurity for the pay ment of note ■of $20,000. Tho ; . millers subsequently failed m business', having put a fraudulent mortgage^ in possession and the bank replevined from him such wheat as was, found in store — 3,000 bushels No. 1 white winter — and took flour manufactured from wheat in store for the remainder. • • .Upon ■ these facts the Supreme Court of Michigan held : First, that a warehouseman could make a valid pledge of grain in store by issuing a ■ warehouse receipt therefor, without the ceremony of making actual dc- livery of the grain. Second, that the pledge in this case was not invalid be cause of its specifying two kinds of wheat, but that the pledge was entitled to take aa equal amount of each kind. Third, that not finding the requisite amount of wheat, the bank might legal ly take an equivalent from the floor, as they did. - t Very Hard English. j The following conglomeration of words purports to be a note from an author to a critic. Every word in it is to be found in the dictionary, yet it is hopelessly obscure. In order to facilitate its com- ; •prehension, and to save our readers from going to the dictionary at ever line, Aye have printed a translation in the right- ; L*aud column : | ! Sat — liavo behaved] Sin You have tcliaved like an impetiginousjlikfe the worm which issues pcroyle' Like those in- 'from a postular eruption ! qnlnate, crass pciolists (In other words — riiiß who, envious of my moral worm.) Like these ; ■■•';- ' ( c Bitade, cany their nu- luting a:; 1 ignorant smat gacity to tlie higlitof ere- terers v.-no, envious of my at:ay eymposaicaliy the moral btauon, carry their fecund words which trifling to the hißiii of my polyinathic genius uses gleefully, creating theelo- . with überty to abligati quent Tvords widch my " igueof theweetle b] learned g " as urea co- Sir, you have crassly or- piously t • tie up the odled my own pet wordsjtonguesof the unknowing, fH though they were tan-lSir, you have ignoiautiy ' grams. I will not con- parodied :nv own pc t i hen;. to reproaches —1 1 words as though the were ] would obduce a veil over Chinese puzzles. I will • the atramental ingratitude pot heap uv j-eproaches. I which has chamfered eycnjl would < n .rsw a vci'. mer j my undiscerptible heart, | the dark ingratitude fur- ■ lam silent on the foseil-irowed over my inijkshe- ' i:;!ion which my eoad-|trab!e heart. lam cut juvancy must have given on the unea=ineps which you when I offered to be- jmy.. ' tsnee must have coma your fatitorand ad- Iven you when 1 pfferod : ji;iiiici«-. T will not peak jto become your aid end \ of the linpitude, the ablep-jsnpport. I wL'l not Kpeak | By, you have Blown in ex- of tlia blearedness. tbe ; acerbating me —one whose Wiiidne'S. you have vhowu 1 genius you should have'in excitinpc me — One whose ] approni-li'd with mcrifaljgeriius you should have. di/ca*c?r.ti-'ii. Sol to 1■• • . ipprcacbea v,-;th )»•••, l:i i ■■<■ ■:i:'-ai!y.j.!i<i with- stYipp Dg ofl" cf hhor-s. 80 ' outsuperv'Bcatieouswords, I tell you, sir, briefly,] nothing will render ignpo-laxid without ::eeiiles:<ne&H, ciblo your conduct t- 1 nothing will render., *•■>•'"- i me. 1 warn you that Ijdonabie your conduct to : would voliicate your n.->.~eime. I warn you that I i if ] thought thai any moralUvouid ptiU your aoseif [ j dinlhroaiß would not im- thought that any 1.1. ■:■.:! j pignorats my reputation, |ariicrulation of (your) (Jo! la chy graphic 8 royle; boi:es would not pat 7tiy bund with your craw, in-; reputation in pawn l>j qninai f&nfors — ilrawjsuch a tweakicz. Go! ob!ectr.tion3 troni t h e|KcribblinK wretch, bend .thought, if you ear, ot v/ith your igncraut, po'. havmsf Bynchrnix-aliy lostiluting abettor — druvi de tho cxiKimiatk-n of t h t-tiiplit frcia the Uipught, if greatest poet siuioe Mi ton,- yon cr ; t;,of baviig at the and drawn upon I'onrhqad same time lost -"i Cot.>e.n this letter, which witlloi the greatest pjet iincd 1 drive you to Webster's! Milton. j Diction 'ry, and Bent} you I to sleep over it. , — ' A Victim of the ! Sars:e6l# "\VI2O Did Complaiii. A man who had been carried to a Phil adelphia hospital while suffering from th etfects of a severe contusion was I asked if lie had been treated kindly while ; there. " Considering all things. " he rered, " I think I have no right to I complain. They amputated both of I ray feet, removed my collar-bone, cut «li" : my right arm, trepanned me, took ont ;■, ■ piece of my under jaw, sawed my left l;ip-l)O'je in two, and were .r to ■■. eavkt^ live or six. ribs when a Jiro I ■■•>:;.> cur iii th ( stablishnient and Hi ■ pollca got away with tho rest of my bo« ly La s afe t , . ' ' — Brooklyn Kaaic Miss CiiSiiiiiau's Intrepid Spirit. The following anecdote illustrates Charlotte C ashman's decision and nerve. At the National Theater, Boston j dur ing the season of 1851-52, as she was playing Borneo to tiie Juliet of Miss An i d rton, mi the midst of one of the most romantic passages between the lovers, some person in tho house sneezed i.21 such a manner as to attract the attention of the whole audience, and every one kiii^v* (hat il'O sneeza was artificial and ckiisive. Miss Cvshman instantly iped the dialogue, and led Lj.>;- A.ll -dprtcii .clT^tltq .st;;.->; .^aa L .s, «.•■-•.'. ■'.: v 7>ji;*hi; lead a Indy'frora a place where an iusuli; bad been offered her. She then retiaiiec to. the footlights and said hi a clear, firm voice: "Some man must pot that person out, or I shall be obliged to do it myself." The fellow was taken away ; the audience rose en masse and gave three cheers for Miss Cushman, whore called her companion, and proceeded with the play as if nothing had hap pened. 5S '-'; ; }~; Piano Makers. What is this ? It is a piano manu facturer. "Why does he look so pleased? He has obtained ninety eight out of a possible ninety-six. He has also ob tained a certificate from ten prim adon nas; a circus manager and a hotel clerk. He is very happy. He is so happy that he could reduce the "wages of : his work men 10 per cent, without fretting over it. What do piano-makers work for They work for art and for medals and ! certificates. — Music. Mary Howitt. Mary Howitt is still living in Meran, South r Tyrol, 80 years old, and bright and active; as ever. ' She declines' the acquaintance of the English, who would overrun her if ■ she did not, and seldom goes beyond the bounds of her own do main, which is called Marien Kune, or Mary's Best. She herself last year laid out in it a new garden, Slow a New Hampshire Woman' Lived I * on $10 a Year. ■ In the Woman's Journal "T. W. H." I •elates tko story of »i New dlainpshiro I ivoman, -who by. the sudden loss of her I ittle invested property had remaining I r.ily an old farm-house and some land. I The sufferer was wholly stone in tho I ivor-d, had a paralysed arm and was I threatened with ' blindness. Tho only I work which her enfeebled condition per-' I mitted was in the way of knitting and I making artificial flowers ; by the&a two I xrts she - could earn :$l5 ; annually." I Her whole available income was &10. I She appropriated cm-fourth of it for ■ leading. In her own very interesting. I account of her life she says : H "In very cold spells I took a warm M freestone and crawled into bed. I was I too ill to work, and thus to do saved lire- 1 wood. I would put mittens on my I hands and read awhile, and, when the I room became too cold for this, cover all I up and think over what I had read. H THis saved me in a degree from ener- 1 vating myself still further, by fruitless I poring over poverty and privations. " I As for food: " One- fourth pound of I meal, 1 cent; one -fourth pound of dried I beans, 1$ cents; 2 cents' worth of " stilt pork -l-\ cents in all — would support me I a day and a half very wdl. This was I ray usual fare three days out of seven. I Three cents' worth, of barley, boiled I with 2 cents' worth of butcher's trim- 1 minga and 3 cents' worth" of - potatoes, I would make wholesome, • nourishing. I food for two days and go a long i way I toward supporting existence. * : * * I I made a considerable uss bf rico : and I baked fish. In cold weather a pound of I oatmeal cooked Monday would serve as I a dessert through the week. Sometimes I 1 had a gift of milk, and then I feasted I like an epicure. Now and then I had some kind .of a vegetable, ag.ajbfiot. or a>. turnip, and from time to time bought a few cents' worth of ..butchers' scraps, more to season. fp,';fi than to bo food. Once a' month I indulged a baiting of doughnuts, or got a pound of lard and fried ah eating of doughnuts, about six, once at a time, in a tin cup over my oil stove." The writer says : " There could be no reductions, beyond, hers, for she literally bought nothing in the way ij of Clothing whatever. Bo slie lived, so to speak, on the past — on the wrecks of her own clothing and "ether people's. She made a whole suit out of an old strawbed ticking, combined with the fragments of a pair of the drilling overalls that some workman had left on the premises ; these she cut into strips, and made, she de clares, a very stylish tii-nniinsj. She unraveled old, worn-out, homespun un der-garments, and made yarn which she knit into stocking*. She had fifteen mottoes in the house made on white nraslin and cotton flannel; these she boiled clean and had a supply of material for undergarments, being the first per son, probably, who discovered a veal use tor 'mottoes.' Sho found behind a closet-door an old overcoat of her fath er's, out of whose quilted lining of black lasting she made for herself a cloak that looked like Quilted tin. The question of hats or Ixmnetswaa easily settled; she wore none for three years. As for shoes, the inexhaostibiu lining of the father's overcoat provided her with slip pers which wore better tv m leather." • ————— _____ _ ■ Bees, Mice, Cats aid Flowers. Many of our orchidaceous plants ab solutely require the visits of moths to remove their pollen masses, and thus to fertilize them. I have also reason to be lieve that humble-bees .are indispensa ble to the fertilization of .the heartsease (viola tricolor), for other bees do not ; visit this flower. j From experiments, I which I have lately tried, I have found ; that the visits of .bees are necessaiy for ■ the fertilization of some kinds of clover; | but humble bees' alone visit' the red clover (trifoiium pratense), as other i bees cannot reach the nectar. Hence I ; have very little doubt thai", if the whole i genus of humble-bees bec::me extinct or very rare in England, the heartsease i and clover would become very rare- or wholly disappear. The number of 1 humble-bees in any district fiends in I a great degree upon the number of ii.-M - I mice, which destroy their combs and ! nests; find Mr. H. Newman, who has '. long attended to the liabitsfvof ii;i,:ibie- ! bees, believer thai; "more 'than t\ T/o -\ thirds of them are thus destroyed all ' over England." Now the-, number of I mice is largely dependent, "as every one knows, on the number bl cats, and Mr. Newman says: "Near villages and i .-mall towns I have found the nests' of < humble-bees more numerous than else where, which I attribute to the number; of cats that ! destroy the mice." Hence it is quite credible, that tho presence of i fol'iie animals in large numbers in a dis i trict migkt determine, through the in- I 1 rventioh first of mice aud then of I bees, the frequency of certain Sowers in ; that district ! — Darwin. i i I Neither Purse nor Script. The Fulton Patriot, published in Qs v.». ;•■■ couiity, N. V., pnts ia the follow iiag bid for the distinction of having near ics borders the very meanest man : A country minister, living near Fulton, who is a great fislieriiir.u. was not long sin.? 3 stationed to preach at a country pHee wh.era the eoii jcregation were very moderate m their aiary to their pastor raid very slov in paying what they agreed to par. At the end of liis term and when the tire c came to settle they owed him considerable back salary, and one eco nom.ici.il brother suggested that the pas tor should fhrnisli ay account of the fish he had caught dnring the year and that 'their value should bo deducted from his salary as so much paid upon it. V Battlesß&lio and a Pig-. APattsam county farmer, while walk ing .'lion;? the edgp of an oak scrub not far from his house, heard loud squealing from a young pig. Hurrying to the scene of trouble, he found that a large rattlesnake had it by the throat. The pig was making desperate efforts to re lease itself, but the snake had its tail twisted around a bush, which held him fast. The snake was dispatched, and the pig immediately - died. — Palatka (Pa.) Herald.'. > ■ ■ riAiiJiryts ' ■ . .■ - •' " ■ • •- ■■ .-.ii-.'-i' • ; - The census of agriculture shows that there are 539,000,000 acres in farms and 287,( 00.000 acres of improved land in the United States. ' The value of the fanaH amounts to $10, 197,101, 0U0, or - -live- times the national debt. - The value of farm animals is $1,500,000,000. There are 10,357,000 houses in the country, or one to every five human beings. :-^;: " Ex-Congressman Taylor, of Tennes ( see, made a visit to New York, where he spent a hilarious time. Going into a high-toned room on Fifth avenue, he addressed the big black waiter thus : ; " Give me a drink of your best rye ; for, I you see, I'm a son of a gun from Ten nessee." The darky handed out the ■ favorite beverage, with the remark, "I , } knowed you was a son of a - gun, but I didn't know whar you was from." ♦•THEY ARE AWAY." jl Ho never ppoke of them, as of the dead „. ]l • In a soft whiskered way, i : '^M jjut pleasantly would tell that Willie S^l Or Mary was away." Sssfwraß 1H • ' Just " away," and one would fancy, '^M Who heard lub quiet tone, That possibly the children that ho named • A Were at some neighbor's home. (■ Avd no they were; the little blue-eyed Mary j| That climbed upon bis knee, H Hr.d long since journeyed to the heavenly l:ma H Beyond tko crystal sea. ! jH And Willie, too, the merry bright young lad -^| Coming to greet him with a cry :H Of srleoful welcome, grew silent, iell asleep, Murmuring a last good-by. H And still they are not dead, just " away iH '•;';)'■•• '•vproin the old man's sight — ;^M •'.'.Out of his tender care, God's own love, >^| * Within His palace bright. ,H 4.V/E7 for a little, time till he should go '^M When his day's work was o'er, l^M To join them there, his little boy and girl, I 7 r To ba '"away" no more. . H The Bridal Package. I Nearly every bridal couple that come 3 I to Washington and Washington is the il national bridal Mecca— -visits the troaa- iB ury vaults. The young-, and invariably 1 interesting couple want ; to closely, in- 1 Bpect Uncle Sam's plentiful shekels. 'I When they enter the vault the man in 1 charge of it, after a few preliminary I words of explanation, Lends down a I package of notes from a shell and tell:-*, I the bride to take it in her hands. Ho ll then explains that this package con- I tains $20,000,000 in United States treas- I ury notes. The young lady is delighted I to be able to go away and say that she I has had so rauch money in her own >l hands. She is just too utterly pleased, jl The groom also wants to handle the il package. ? They are "further; told that jl the notes are all of the denomination -of I $10,000. This constitutes what is known !l as thel" bridal package." Young mar- ;l ried tourists)- having- heard of this pack- >l age, often ask to handle it just as. soon I as they enter tha vaults. This is all ;]l very pretty. But it is a fraud on the jl young people. The treasury here does [I not i hold that amount of money: ' " The 'I bulk of the money is in the sub-treas- j my at New York. That "bridal pack- . age is a gay deceiver. It does cpntaio^ j however, notes .of the denomination of | $10,000, • which would, in the aggregate, ! represent $20,000,000 if they were only signed. But they are worth no more in .] reality than the pa? on which they j are printed, being minus the necessary ; signatures. —^Washington letter. ♦._ ! ■• — : : ~ j A Mutinous Sepoy's Fate in 1772. | 'In Capt. Williams' "Historical Ac- M count of the Rise and Progress of the jl Bengal Native Infantry," published by jl John Murray, of London, in 1817, on il page 143 there is an account given of the il murder of Capt. Richard Ewens i : 1772. m His battalion (I, Tenth 3. I. Is.) was in <■ November of that year sent to join Capt. jl Camae at Rrt'ingur, and on the day after.- jl its arrival the latter officer inspected it. 'I During the inspection one of the Sepoys I standing within two yards of Capt. E\v- I ms leveled his piece and shot that offi- jl eer dead. Says the historian : -'Or- '' I Dap};. Ewens 1 falling the battalion in- I I jtaiitly broke and rushed forward to I kvenge his death, but Capt Gamac, witi | great presence of mind, ordered them to ; :etnrn to their ranks, and that ample ustice should bo done. He immetliate y sent one of his omcers to bring down as own battalion (tae Twenty-fourth);; lostiee should be done. immediate- i y sont one of bis officers to bring down ! ds own battalion (tae Twenty-fonith), | ted on its arrival he ordered <i drum- j lead general courl-ELartial to try the \ a ■ ■'■ cer, who sentenced him to bo - irawM rounder by tattoo:-:. The horses | icing fastened to his limbs, many at- I empts v.-ere made to draw them from | he body, but without effect, and then ! ;he Sepoys were allowed to put' him to leath, wiiicli they did with their, swords." i Killed by Three Accidents. A -French workman took refuge from j i violect gala by lying oown in the ditch j ■ ■r.-i-.'j the railway near which he was r al lcing 1 , Thus far his experience, Itho'ugh a rather uncomfortable one, was ! liuch. us 'voitlil hum mad') a diverting Kubject o* conversation when he reached ■lorne. Presentiyj however, the tele- Hrraph poieo v.*ere bio on down, and tie I ■:ec<Muo entangled in the wires which j I\;H upon him. Even this fresh sumoy- ; luj-j.';, if it bad been die end of his trou- j I ■)le?. would have merely served to t I Bji.-icrLi.en ike iiitovcst ,qi his rqciial. But jl ■iiii'oi'u ho conl'd free rum: elf a train came Biiong, caujiht up the wires and whirled j Bho unlucky workman niter it until lie Huas • cvt .< to. pieces. V ,: :. t'id r.;.: ■! : I Mau Boiled Down. j; I The average number of teeth is thirty- Hsno. . , V The average wpight of a skeleton is Bibout fourteen pounds. ' ' , f , . ■ I The weight of the circulating blood is Hxbout eighteen pom.'].;. ' * - - *■■ . I The average weight of the adult man ; B.s 240 pounds G ounces. * . , I I The brain of a man exceeds twice that | 1)1' any other anitkal : I A man ahnttally contributes to vege- B:.ifion 121 pound's of carbon. I A man breathes about; twenty times a Brain ute, or 1,200 limes in an hour. H One thousand ounces of blood pass Hlhrough the kidneys in an hoar. H The skeleton measures one inch less 1:1-, the height of the living man. H A man breathes about eighteen pints Hr.f air in a minute, or upward of seven hogsheads i;; a day. I The averag*"! weight of the brain of a Hliving man is three and a half pounds; Ho? a woman, two pounds eleven ounces. I Five hundred and forty pounds, or Hono hogshead one and a quarter pints of Hbloo.l , ass through tho heart in one Hhoiir. ■ -The average height of an Englishmen Iv five feet nine inches; of a Frenchman Hiv-fi' tfonr indies, and of "a Belgian Htiv.:: feet six and .three-quarters ■■ inches. H "One bondred and seventy-i'cur million Bboles or calls are in the lungs, which Hnop Id I cover a surface thirty times H greater than the human body. H The heart beats seventy-five times in Ha minute; sends nearly ten pounds- of blood through the veins and arteries I makes four beats while we breathe once. H Devoured «)y a Sncnruju.^^ _._.„ ., I A very unpleasant account is given by la Brazilian paper of the proceedings of I a huge water snake called thej'^sucu-' Hruyu,", which is ; to be found in some of I the rivers of Brazil. An incident occurred Ben the banks of the Ilio ArasEualiy,' I owing to the voracity of one of , these I reptiles. A slave, with some companions,' I was fishing with a net in' the river, when Ihe was suddenly seized by a sucuruyu, land, in spite of his resistance, was I dragged under tho water in the presence of I the horrified spectators. He never ap- : I peared again, and !no doubt is " enter- Itained that he was swallowed by the I sucuruyu, who made an effort with his I hinder coils :to carry off at the same I time another of the fishing party. It is B the exception of the sucuruyu to attack Bhnman beings ; but it loses no opportu- of seizing deer, calves and othe; quadnrped-s when they come to drink. . ; The Hewer Arithmetic. - j , James has six apples and divides one among his five brothers and sisters. How many, has ho left ? ,•',< , - . •■■-.. ' ; If a quart-box of strawberries holds ft j pint and a half, how. many, boxes vail it i take to make a peek, and how quick-can a tramp get away with; them? : . If a farmer can mow six acres of gras3 in one day, how many liars will it take i to mow thirty-eight acres of grass in three days? A guest at the hotel pays the porter ! 25 cents to take his trunk up stairs ;; 10 j cent 3 to a colored boy to bring him a | pitcher of water ; 25 cents to the waiter j to bring his dinner ; 25 cents further to | the porter to get hi 3 trunk down stairs ; 50 cents to the' omnibus driver, and. $3 j to the landlord as the regular rate cf the house. How much has ho been swindled, and what is he going to do about it? =;• A coal dealer has a driver weighing ! 185 pounds, who is weighed wit'; 750 ! loads of coal during the winter. -. What j would have been the gain to the ccnsum* j c»rs had the driver only weighed 150 pounds ? If a policeman. on night duty sleeps j an hour and a half each night for thir teen years, how many years of such ar duous labor will it take to reduce him to a walking skeleton ? i In each ccuatyin the United Stites j are seventy inhabitants who believe they j would Make good State Governors. Of ■ this number only 2 per cent, ever get to • be even a constable. ■ % What is . the ; exact number ox con- j stables, and how many.) lawsuits can a j wide- awake cilice:* provoke in a year? i E A- grocer Las a horso which he asserts ; can' trot a mile in 2:40. He puls him on the track under a watch ? and finds his . best gait to be 3:28. What was the dif- j ference between the grocer's estimate and the watch, and why did" he v.ollop ; the poor horse all the way home w A father at his 'death left $12,500 for I the bent of Ms only son, 14 years, 8 i months 53d 12 days old, the money to > be paid him when 21 years" of age, with j interest nt 6 per cent, How much money ' die": the ■ lawyers leave for the boy? | A merchant who has a stock valued j at SSS,OGO advertises that he will dispose ! or it at one-fourth oil. How much does i he make? _ _...," I I A citizen has a cow which gives six i quarts of milk per day, while his sales j foot up nine quarts. There is nothing ■ for the student to find in this case. Sim ply turn on the water. A grocer buys a chest of tea weighing eighty pounds. He sells twenty-seven i pounds of it as "ray unapproachable GO cent tea," and the" remainder as "our splendid 4.0-eent Oolong." How much ! did he receive in all, and how much did he have to give to the heathen that year to quiet his conscience ? A plumber who does 16 cents' worth of repairing desires to eharga for four pounds of bolder in his bill. Please sug gest how it can bo done without injury to his system, — Free Press. The Indian] as He Eealiy Is, A correspondent in the far West writes as follows : Every tradition re peating the story of Indian bravery, gen erosity and hospitality fades like mist before the actual man. The instinct of baseness inns through the whole family, from King Philip and Bed Jacket down to Sitting Bull. The common instincts ox savagery are intensified in the race. Brave only in superior numbers or under cover ; honest only in hypocrisy ; merry only at the sight of suffering inflicted by his own hands; friendly and hospit able.only through cunning; and sub limely mendacious always, the Indian as he is -'actually., known seems poor ma terial out of which to manufacture a hero or frame a romance. Prominent as he has always been in American history ; always the impediment to be removed, and afterward the dependent to be sup- Hported ; mollified by semi-annual gilts, Boiled and pacified by periodical talks Hiboufc the Great Father and blarney Bah cm t '* brothers ; " through campaigns, ■councils, treaties and tribal reservations, Bke has but (-no redeeming fact upon his Hrccord, viz. : that he. has never been Hthoroughly tamed and has never been a Bscv.-vAiit. ' Neither has the hyena. Most Heffbrts in hia behalf have failed to alter Hhis status c:r change his life. Almost Heyery;whefo the men are idle and the Hsqua'.vs work. Almost everywhere her Heducalioii is limited to one lesson — toil Hand be silent/ Almost everywhere he is Huh washed and entirely naked, save in Ht!u3 respect of paint, swarming with that Hindus triou's insect to which the Scottish Hpoet wi;ote an apostrophe. , Almost every - Hwhere,' ! each family is the manufacturer Hand producer of all articles required in He].;'. 1 ;/ life. Almost everywhere, each HfaiirtJy'is self-supporting, raid, comprised Bin itself the whole plan of patriarchal Hgovernisent. Almost always, the Indian His' ilio persistent and importunate beggar Hon this continent. Almost always, t iie Hcompendiuin cf an Indian's knawled^e Hot' English is the one word *• iiow?" or H"How!" Almost all Indians T/iii H" How" as soon as invited, and in pro- Hiligious quantities.- Troy Times.- I The 70,000 people in Iceland are ir I imminent danger of starvation, on ac I count of the unusual severity of the I climate i;.: ' year, both in winter ant I Hummer. Belief funds are being raided lin Norway and Sweden, and efforts arc I being made in England to leric! a help I ing h:\hdi Prof. Willard Hske'ofCor neil University, IthrtCr,, Net? Tort, wil I forward any subscrivtion sent hiiD, I iMarylafid 'ranks second nmcui^tln I States Vi.s ."-packer of *amatb|s piittin; B .:,',') easi 1, .. . 1 I am;* \er iscnnm. Nevr^jcrisoy fatils I first. p.'.ckicfi r "500,000 case;-:,, uno. Del I arc stands third, packing 180,00 B ca - . H A 'hackinfin recently went ir: to th I surf al Long Branch and encountered H liUA'C,?^'^-'^- ■ Their eyes met for an it B stunt, ' when tho .shark blushed am I swoia out to sea. ;; | I »Mr. WHiiaiai 80-nnor, a brother'of Mi I Pvoncrt Bonn er of New- York city kp«:r I n SI O.OOO. team ■ '' of horses at Trentoi :.-«--.— - What Is Fruit I I a . It is very. natural for editors to v. r ritß about such I subjects as come up in con versation, or the things lie conies in con tact with in his "intercourse with the world. Lately the agricultural editor at his boarding house heard a friend make a statement that the pie being served was ; made of fruit. ; Another disputed the position by stating that it was made of the "stalks of rhubarb, or pie-plant. Of \ course, Webster was referred to, to set tle the dispute, when" one of the many follies of that; Yankee lexicon war, dis covered. The main definition of fruit. is i given as "Whatever the earth produces for the nourishment of animal, or for clothing or profit. Among the fruits of the earth are included not only corn of all kinds, but grass, cotton, flax, grapes, -and : all cultivated plants/ etc. So it was settled in council that pie-plant is fruit. — Dcs Moincs lierjisler. GREATEST THINGS OS EARTH. The highest range of mountain ? is tha Himalayas;' the mean elevation ing es timated at from 16,000 to 18,000 feat. The loftiest mountain is Mount Ever est or Guarisjaul'i r, of the Himalaya range, having an elevation of 29,002 feet above the sea level. The largest theater is the new Opera House in Palis. It cover;', nearly three acres of ground. Its nubia mass is 4, -287,000 feet. It co-it abeat 100,000,000 francs. Tiie largest suspension bridge will be the one now building between New York and Brooklyn. The length oil the main span is 1,595 feet 6 inches; the entire length of the bridge, 5,989 feet. The loftiest active volcano is Popocat apetl — ' 'smoking mountain" thirty-five miles southwest of Pu sblo, Mexico. It is 17,784 feet above the sea level, and has a crater three miles in circumference and 1,000 feet deep. The largest island in the world, which is also regarded firs a continent, is Aus tralia. It is 2,500 miles m length from east to west, and measures 1,950 miles from north to south. Its area is 2,051, -287 square miles. The longest span of wire in the world is used for a telegraph in India, over the river Kistnab, between Bezorah. and Seetanagrand. It is more than 6,000 feet loDg, and is etched between two hills, each of which is 1,200 loot high. The largest ship in the world is tho Great Eastern, She 13 630 feet long, 83 feet broad and GO feet desp,. being 22.937 tons burden, :18, 915 gross and --13,33£nei; register. She was built at Millwaii, on the Thames, and was launched Jan. 31, 1857. Tun largest university is Oxford, in England, in the city of tho same name, fifty-five miles from London. It con sists of twenty-one colleges and five halls. Oxford was a seat of learning as early a3 the time of Edward the Confes sor. University College claims to have been founded by Alfred. The largest body of fresh water on the globe is Lake Superior — 400 miles long, 160 mile/* wide at its greatest breadth^ and having an area of 32,000, square miles. Its mean depth is said to be IG9, and its greatest depth about 200 fathoms. Its surface is about 635 feet above the level of the sea. The most extensive park is Deer Park, in the environs of Copenhagen, Den i mark. The inclosure contains about j 4,200 acres, and is divided by a email I river. Tho largest pleasure ground in I this country, and one of the largest in i the world, is Fairmount PArk, Philadel i phia, which contains 2,740 acres. ! The biggest cavern is the Mammoth i cave, in Edmondson county, Ky. It is. i near Green river, six miles from Cave : City, and about twenty-eight miles from. ! Bowling Green. Tho< consists of a ; succession of irregular charaberp, some : of which are large, situated on uifferenfc •levels. Some ci: these are traversed by i navigable branches of the subterranean Echo river. Blind liah are found in its i waters. I Ths largest tunnel in the world is that iof St. Gothard, on the line oi .'.road , between Lucerne and Milan, The sum jinifc of the tunnel is 990 feet below tha ! surface at Audematfc, and 6,600 feet be j neath the peak of Kastelhorn, of tlie St. : Gothard group. The tunnel is 2G} feet ! wide, and 19 feet 10 inches from tho j floor to the crown of the arched roof. lltis 9$ miles long — miles longer than i the Mr. Cenis tunnel. ! ' ; The biggest trees in the world are the I marc moth trees of California. 1 One of a ! grove i:x Tulare county, iiccording to ! measurement made by members of the ! State Geological rvey, was shown to be 276 feet high, 10G feet in circuiafer ! ence at the base, and lit :.-.> at a };.oint 12 feet above the ground. Some of ih& ■ trees ar? 37o .i'eet high and 31 feet in j diameter. Some of the largest trees ; that have been felled indicate on age of from 2 5 0C0 to 2,500 years. A Missonriaii's Reliec'tlou. i ' Mrs: Laura Dainty was reading, out ! in Missouri, aiitl ut one of tho recep tions wrJch frl-iir.entiy follow her read '■ ings a geritle^iiu wu» present who was L able (9 talit hor?.o very flnently, but couldn't tali anything else. Not being ! able to talk f mu?-i horse, the little lady ! was puzzled how to ent 'rtain this eat, •■antii lie STisnally mentioned that he i'orm erlv lived in a 2lichig in city, . ''Oh. yes," she exclaimed, "I read there a .' (v evenings ago and had c mast ! charming audience." Then s ho added, "They have a fiiTe cour-io there." And he, delighted to liud a w<;:i:.an who knew soiceth|ng, enthusia&ticuliy re plie.l: "Y.J3, they have -■■-< nice a mile tract i 'as'tSerd is ia the State." j Tho yubscqueiit silence cast a 'gloom , over the entire corrouuiiity. — Hawkey e r , i \\ I I rn t n 11 f ■•%- rMillT •I ? lSLusu Malt ' - [ Final, 11 RECOMMENDED BY PHYSICIANS of the lir*-* tmlueucp on both si.i-_-t of the Atlantic, si an Invni'-.'ibb Tu.-iU and l:?t:or«;lvi> in crm'i of General Debility, Nervous ht pression. Enfeebled Constitution and Female We&kue**. I NURSING MOTHERS, who'snffar from poverty of mil*. will Cu-i it a weeffio for th.Hr trouble*. I: »tini'iKt_-» tl.o digestion; sharpens the appetite. invifror&tft UMI baiMßap ti>» •mire svsieiu, and uxcii>.-s a generous How of milk. WEAK AND SICKLY CHILDREN, who mOm from lassitude anl weariness, the result of tlitease, orer-stndr, or nervotn strain, will derive sabstsntinl benefit from in M*. It reitorei the system to in normal eoaditiua and briars ! back the bloom of youth. i ; INVALIDS: AND CONVALESCENTS win cm v .*. nlraMj adapted for taitaining lif •, and r< storing lon itnumh. "VTh«n the stomach ! 1* vnn'i ami refuse* other DourUtiUioiii.. 'the Kxiract »i;i prove an excellent «nl>sr:tute for food. It neither palls upon the appetite nor offends the taste. : . I DELICATE FEMALES, who sn Ter from the woakatwca nl their sex, will derive' lasting relief from its uso. It Imprvma the digestion, purifies tho blood, stimulates the appetite, vi. i revive* the spirits. { • v " 1 WEAK AND DELICATE PERSONS GENERALLY, who require some artificial restorative— especially il.-.~> who are inclined to Consumption— will find this iimwulmi exactly suited to their need*. It in a specific for tike Of :.r.» and Netroas Affections usually incident to a low state of Uia system. •■•>.. ■.-{ ■;. \ ' AS A FLESH RESTORER pompom th<!h!rtM ' *«>m. The whole tendency of its action is to stimulate the dicftaiiba of fat-producing foods, and its effect is invariably to sivo fullness and roundness to the female form, and robustness to tji xnascuUne frame. j * THE LIEBIG MALT EXTRACT i* a purs c -,r.r^tr<-i Fluid Extract of }S*lt, agreeable to the taste, and free fr-ir.i alcohol. It is rea-Hly retained on : the stomach and MBtataa nccp but wholesome and nourishing ingredients. The f(n:.iiw preparation bears oa the label a fine engraved Usenet.* ->,* Bako* vo.i Ltzsia, and a fac-similb of bis Signature, at well as that of A.VUOELEU 6 CO., B.u.TU«oa«, Me., 9tM i .- .i tor AfiKsrioa. ;