Newspaper Page Text
OB PICE— <i Washington avenue, op
moeite Nicollet House. Odice hours from 6
m. m. to lOo'clock p. rn.
The ice at this point commenced to move
Set 'em up at the Boston restaurant.
Open ail night.
Hotel de Manger was crowded with
drunks last night.
For the best supper in the city try the
Comiqte restaurant. Never closes.
The licenses to wed issued by .Clerk
Davenport -last week numbered twenty
Clenbie Kiell has begin suit for a di
vorce from Henry Keill, alleging desertion
as the cause.
J. C. Oswald, of the p ark commission,
was present at the secret caucus of the
Republican aldermen yesterday.
F. B. Bailey • appeared in the district
court yesterday morning and took the
oath of office as municipal judge.
The little town of Osseo enjoyed a visit
from burglars on Friday night. They blew
open a safe and extracted about §30.
The 3 o'clock meeting to-day of the Re
form club will be held at Market hall. The
chaDlain will discourse on the "Conspiracy
It is said that a gang of "bunko steer
ers" are among us and are trying to get
in their work on the inhabitants of this
highly moral burg.
In the special term of the district court
yesterday divorce? were granted in the
cases of Mahala D. Young, vs William H.
Ydung, and Bertha Alghrin, vs. Peter C.
The jury in tho Gratjan-Hobart case
yesterday awarded the plaintiff $1,000 or
just one-tenth of the amouut that he want
ed for the seduction of his wife by the
A special meeting of the city council
was held last night and (18,000 was trans
ferred to the board of water commission
ers to defray the expense.? of putting in
the intake pipe.
The policy of appointing a member of
the park commission as city attorney will
undoubtedly lead to some very peculiar
legal complications, in which the city will
not be likely to gain anything.
Articles of incorporation of the Minne-
sota Loan and Trust company were filed
with the register of deeds yesterday. The
incorporators are T. J. Buxton, V. G.
Hush, T. A. Harrison and others. ~.
John Smith reported at police headquar
ters yesterday that a "fly" young man
named Dick Wilkins had stolen his watch
and charm and gold ring from his room
at his boarding place at 2."> South Fourth
The Society of St. George last evening
elected the following officers: Dr. George
Sermon, president; Mr. Dan Douglas,
treasurer; Mr. W. B. Bennett, secretary.
Messrs. John Chant. H. J. Richardson a nd
W. J. Girling were elected trustees.
- Marriage licenses were issued yesterday
to F. H. Castner and Minnie Van Valken
berg, Andrew T. Salam and Mattie Hen
drickson, Mathias Harrer and Elizabeth
Herberger, August Glopper and Johanna
Schecher, Richard S. MeGtaire and Irene J.
On Thursday evening, April 10, the
scholars of the high school will give an
entertainment at high school hall, the
purpose being to provide funds for gradu
ating exercises. Under the efficient man
agement of Mr. Gage, teacher of elocution
at the high school, every preparation has
been made to insure the success of the en
tertainment in every respect. The pro
gramme embraces several spirited recita
tions and some choice music, the leading
feature being a drama in three acts, en
titled "The Spirit of ,96.*'
The Pioneer yesterday gave publication
to an item which the Globe knows to be
unfounded, in that it stated that it had
been authorized by A. T. Ankeny, the
Democratic candidate for judge of the
municipal court, to state that he should
not contest Bailey's election upon the
ground that the students from various
parts of the country in attendance
upon the Angsberg seminary and
state university are not legal voters in
Minneapolis. On the contrary, before de
parting for Chicago, Mr. Ankeny took care
to place the matter in the hands of the
Democratic city committee, and a Globe
reporter calling upon the various members
of that committee, was informed that the
committee had canvassed the question and
had arrived at the conclusion
that the legality of students voting should
be thoroughly tested, and consequently
would contest the election.
The civil suit of Farnham & Lovejoy
against Wm. F. Thompson was concluded
and given to the jury yesterday morning.
Mr. Hart occupied the early
part of the morning with the finale of
his address to the jury, and at
11:30 Judge Lochren began his charge.
About the only material change in the
charge from that delivered at the close of
each of the two former trials was in in
structing the jury that this was a civil ac
tion for the recovery of money alleged to
be embezzled, and not a criminal action
for the punishment of the defendant. At
exactly 12 o'clock the jury retired and
were not heard from again during the
afternoon. At 7 o'clock, there being no
prospect of an agreement, the judge left
the court room and the jury was locked up
for the nig ht
Deaths of the. Week.
Health Officer Cockburn reports the fol
lowing deaths for the g ast week:
Cerebro spinal meningitis 2
Typhoid fever 1
Typhoid Pneumonia 1
Inanition .....' ".... .\.* 1
Of the above, just one-half the number
were under 5 years of age, an unusually
The grain markets were weak and lower
again yesterday. Minneapolis wheat prices
only dropped J^c, while Chicago and Mil
waukee went down about 2c,it being a reg
ular shaking out day there. Here the mar
kets on 'change opened with sellers of No.
1 hard at §1.10 for spot and at that four
cars were bought. §1.06 was bid for No.
2 northern and £1.07 asked, and there were
sales, at both figures—§1.06 and $1.07:
2,000 bashels Of No. _' hard were taken at
$1.06. No. 2 northern was offered at
$1.01^, with §1.01 bid. No. 3 northern
was offered at '.Oc. without buyers at that.
No. 2 was offered freely, tut there were no
bids for it; 5,0' bushels of No.l hard, I
seller June, went at (LIS. The feeling '
was weak at the close, and many predicted
lower prices for Monday. Nothing was
done in corn. May was offered at 51c
There seemed to be no demand for it. Oats
were quiet, but did not ' seem to suffer in
prices to any extent, selling at 39c for No.
2, but with a limited inquiry. Bran was
scarce, but not strong; other feeds tuffs and
The following were among the receipts
and shipments at and from Minneapolis
for the twenty-four hours ending at 10 p.
m. to-day, as posted on 'change:
Receipts—Wheat 23,000 bushels, corn
3,000 bushels, oats 1,000 bushels, coal 1,424
tons, lumber 100,000 feet, barrel N stock 3
ShipmentsFlour 4,640 barrels, wheat
500 bushels, mill stuff 110 tons, lumber
50,000 feet, flax seed 500 bushels.
Inspection- -The inspection of gra in at
this "point yesterday was as follows:
Wheat—No. 1 hard, 13 cars; No. 2 hard, 1
car; No. 1, 4 cars; No. 2, 3.cars; No. 3, 1
car; condemned, 8 cars; rejected, 3 cars.
—No. 2,1 car. OatsNo. 2, 1 car; re
jected^ cars. Total number of cars in
Opening of the Grand.
The past week in the amusement line has
been an important period in this city, in
that it celebrated the opening of the Grand
Opera house, the prettiest institution of the
kind in all the West. The opening night
was Monday and Minnie Hank, Marie Litta,
Delia Oakford, Sigs. Baldanza,>Montegriflo,
Gottrchalk, Beregky and Hall, were sup
ported in a concert oy the Mendelsshon
club, Harmonia Singing society and Prof.
Danz's orchestra, under the direction
of the veteran Max Moretzek. The
Amherst College Glee club also
participated liberally in the programme.
Monday and Tuesday evenings and Wed
nesday matinee were also devoted to con
cert music, but on Wednesday night a sea
son of two nights Italian opera was inaug
urated. But the Blakely plan of cutting
up three or four fine operas by singing one
aot or a portion of an act each proved very
unsatisfactory to the vocalists and to the
audience, composed as it was of the finest
society of the city. Had one full opera
been given instead, all would have accord
ed that the two evenings were the most en
joyable possible. ' * Friday evening
was devoted to Pinafore by
the Chicago Church Choir, which
organization finished the week by singing
Chimes of Normandy at the matinee ani
Patience last evening, with the following
cast: . m
Col'.Calverly John E. McWade
Maj. Murgatroyd W. Norcross
Lieut. Duke of Dunstable §has. T. Barnes
Officers of Drag Jon Guards.
Reginald Bunthorne,a fleshly poet. .Sam'l Kayzer
Archibald Grosvenor, an idyllic poet —
Bunthome's Solicitor Wm. Wolff
Lady Angela Mae Laws St. John
Lady Saphir Ottilie Abel-Haas
Lady Ella. Ella Richards
Lady . Jane *... .Emma Mabelln Baker
Patience, a dairy maid Jeanie M. Herrick
Chorus of Officers of Dragoon Guards and
Musical Director Adolph Liesegang
Pence Opera House.
Considering the attractions at the Grand
opening the attendance at the Pence
Opera house has been exceptionally good.
Charles L. Howard, wife and little child,
have played "A Millionaire's Daughter."
On Monday night the week will open
with the "Hidden Hand."
On Thursday night Miss Helen Adell
will be given a benefit, when the "Two
Orphans" wil be produced.
■ Miscellaneous Amusements.
Danz's full orchestra will be assisted by
five musicians from Bach's concert orches
tra of Milwaukee in presenting the follow
ing choice programme at the Turner hall
sacred concert to-day:
March—"Greeting to America" Blal
1. Overture — "Freischu Weber
2. Waltz— "Grant" Labitzky
3. Selection—"Ernani" Verdi
4. Song—"Have I You Loved" Suppe
5. Overture—"William Tell" ....... Rossini
C. Selection —"Fatinitza" Suppe
7. Polka—"Gazellen" Gunge
8. Gallop—"Caesar" Herzog
THE CITY'S POOR.
superintendent n'tllltims' Report for the
The regular monthly meeting of the su
pervisors of the poor was held in Superin
tendent Williams' office at 9 a. m. yester
day, and the following report read and
placed on file:
To the Honorable, the Board of Supervi
sors of the Poor of the City of Minneap
I hereby respectfully submit a report of
the work of this office for the month of
March, 1883, as follows:
No. of applications made at office.. 397
No. of visits made by. superintend
ent . 117
No. of cases where relief has been
granted in groceries 137
No. of orders given for groceries — 142
Amounting to $542 80
No. of orders given for wood 128
Amounting to..-. $224 00'
No. of patients in hospitals March Is*:
St. Barnabas i 10
No. sent to hospitals during March: ■
St. Barnabas 3
No. now in hospitals under charge of city:
8:. Barnabas 7,
HOSPITAL EXPENSES FOB MARCE.
St. Barnabas 5190 25
College 212 55
Sisters' 209 29
Homoeopathic 38 55
No. inmates of poor house March 1.. 65
No. sent to poor house during March. 9
No. now in poor house under charge
of city 60
Poor*house expenses for March 275 C5
No. of burials furnished during
Amounting to £ 1 10
No. of persons furnished transporta
tion to other places during March. .12
Amounting to ». 41 45
Expended in March ..}£ 1,817 54
Refunded .* 2 50
Total expenses for March 1,815 04
■ i -' Superintendent.
The superintendent's annual report was
read and referred to the city council.
" A couple of hospital bills, amounting to
$110.55, were allowed, and the board then
A Grape cine Dispatch.
A caucus of the Republican aldermen
elect and those who hold over, was held in
the city hall yesterday. It was a secret
affair, Jbut the Globe set the grapevine
telegraph in operation with the following
The meeting was attended by the thir
teen Republicans strong. S. Matthews
was renominated for city clerk by accla- ;
mation, as was also Engineer Andrew j
Rinker. » '■ • ..; j
The question of a jminating a candidat3
THE ST; PAUL SUNDAY GLOBE, SU^DAV MOKNiNG, APRILS, 1883
for city attorney proved a bone of lively
contention. Quite a number of the alder
men had been firmly pledged to Capt. J.
N. Cross, the Republican (partisan) candi
date for member of the board of educa
tion, who was buried beneath an avalanche
of Democratic votes, on Tuesday, as pre
dicted by the Globe, and
the result was a lively
squabble in this secret caucus. Cross got
away with Benton on a vote of seven to
six, and will be the candidate before the
council on Thursday afternoon. [Right
here let it be stated that when the _Globe
intimated in • its opposition to Cross'
partisan candidacy for member of the
school board, that he was also a candidate
for city attorney, it was fenied by
by his partisan friends. He is also a park
commissioner, and in fact bobs up serenely
in all republican institutions.]
For city physician, Dr. Cotes was nom
inated, and Dr. Cockburn was nominated
for health officer. Geo. A. Pillsbury was
nominated as a candidate for the presi
dency of the council, and the name of Tom
Andrews was fixed upon for vice president.
A BIG "tYOODCHUCK."*
A Racy Intrrrifw With His Honor the
Mayor, Respecting the Manner in Which
the Park System teas Carried by the
Schemers to be Financially Benefited by
the Measure — How a Lou* Liguor License
Compart Was Entered Into and How a
High License Ordinance May Result.
Last evening a Globe reporter cornered
Mayor Ames and succeeded in drawing
him out upon the liquor license and the
park questions. The interview will be
found particularly interesting just at this
stage of affairs, and it is as follows:
Mayor —The friends of the park
scheme seeing the hoplessness of their
cause, just before election, entered into a
combination with politicians among the
liquor dealers of .Minneapolis, whereby
the latter were to, and did, receive moneys
for the purpose of carrying the scheme at
the polls. Four of the Republican
candidates for aldermen were made par
ties to this compact, the conditions being,
that if the liquor dealers would vote and
use their influence toward their election,
and in favor of the park system scheme,
they, the candidates, would vote
for fixing a low license
for the sale of liquors during the ensuing
year, at the meeting of the council when
the measure should bfltbrought up.
The conditions of this compact were
religiously adhered toby the liquor dealers,
but the elected aldermen find themselves
in a sad predicament, as their party organs
and the leaders of the Republican party
are now pledged for high license. To ex
tricate themselves from this dilemma
these aldermen have concluded to go with
their party for high license on
the supposition that I will
veto any such measure. They
also agree that in case I do veto the pro
posed high license ordinance, they (the
aldermen referred to,) will make no at
tempt to get the measure passed over 6uch
But I wish to add that this system of
swapping jack knives out of other people's
pockets may possibly have a ludicrous
The parties, to me well known, who fur
nished large sums of money to carry the
park scheme on election day, have perfec
ted their syndicate, appointed their pur
chasing agents, and from present indica
tions the question as to where the parks
will be located and how much they will cost
will probably be settled long before the
"dear people" will know anything about it.
The sudden appearance of mushroom
capitalists in our midst and their pur
chases of certain tracts of land
and adjacent property, fully indicate
the working of the scheme. If Bill King
and the other "reformers," who engineered
the carrying of the scheme at the election,
desire that the people should know how it
was done, I now stand ready to give the
names of the liquor dealers and "thugs"
who were paid their prices for influencing
men of their classes to work and vote for
The day following election, the park
syndicate, to whom I have referred, met in
convention at "Reformer" Nettleton's
house, and perhaps, at some time in the
near future, I shall make
public some of the peculiar
arrangements there entered into. If there
are any more Evening Journal "mud
holes", and "eyesores" filled with manuro
and filth, which are to be made the "breath
ing places for our wives and children," let
them be trotted out. for apparently the
highest market' prices will be paid for
THE VAUOKTI__I.__TBMP___B .
A Long List of New People Who Will. En
tertain the Crowd at the Continue This
Week- Ten Nets.' Stars Pour New Teams.
First and foremost among the new at
tractions at the Comique this week are the
"La Pearles," James, Ada, and little Eva,
who will appear in their thrilling act on
the trapeze bars, in mid-air, introducing
some of the most daring long double drops
ever accomplished, and teeth ascensions.
Particular attention is called to the new
and original trick only accomplished by
these ' artists, the head first dive. Little
Eva, only seven years old, will make a
terrible leap for life from the dome of the
theater to the trapeze youngest child
in the world performing this feat. They
will appear in fine and different costume
each performance. Next comes Messrs.
Mason and Balston, the great one-and-a
half man song and dance team, who will
produce the "Golden Jubilee."'
John Martin and Miss Annie Rushton,
the world renowned sketch artists, will also
open to morrow evening with a new bur
lesque, entitled "Pot Pouri."
Hanley and Logan, the slender six foot
nigs,' have returned for a short engage
ment, and will kick their highest.
Miss Hazel Blake, a serio-comic artiste
of much ability, will lead the vocal corps
this week, and will be seconded by Miss
Kitty Melville, in a new selection of songs.
Miss Kitty Peasley will be on hand with
her best and newest dances. The • favorite
sketch team of Craemer and Christie will
appear in single specialties this week,
Joe with some new pathetic ballads, and
Miss Maggie in her beautiful skipping
rope song and dance.
The entertainment will conclude every
evening with Tom Martin's new comedy.
"A Jealous Wife."
A SAFE BLOWN.
Burglars Enter Weld Brothers' Store, Blow
the Safe, and Escape with the Con
tents. ■'..''' .'-
Weld Brothers' feed and grocery tore,
corner of Washington and Ninth avenues
north, was entered by burglars last Friday
night and the safe blown open, and rifled
of its contents, consisting in part of $115
in cash, three watches and numerous pa
pers. Mr. Weld states that during the day
he had been fortunate enough to make a
deposit of §500, leaving the safe to contain
less than it had for some time previous.
Fifteen dollars of the money stolen be
longed to the Baptist Sunday school, of
which Mrs. J. O. Weld is treasurer.
One of the salesman who lives over the
store says that owing to the noise made by
parties who were moving a house on Ninth
street his attention was detracted from any
ordinary noise which might have been made
below. The safe, a Mosher and warranted
to be burglar proof, was charged with
powder from the top by means of a three-,
eighth inch hole being drilled downward
about six inches. • '
Up to the present writing thero is no
trace of the burglars. y%
District Court. *
[Before Judges Young and Lochren.]
Charles Gratjan vs. Charles N. Hobart;
verdict of $1,000 for plaintiff.
Farnham & Lovejoy vs. William F.
Thompson; jury out.
Alfred H. Hedderly vs. Davis & Baxter;
virdict of §1,771.69 for plaintiff.
| Before Judge Ueland.J
In the matter of the guardianship of
Martha Angella Bircher, of unsound mind;
letters issued to Eliza F. Mayer.
In the matter of the estate of Ama3a C.
Clark, deceased; petition for letters (o to
u) tiled; hearing April 30. U.,Va.':
In the matter of the estate of Washing
ton Mayo, deceased; petition for settle
ment and distribution filed; hearing April
In the matter of the estate of Olive H.
Sergeant, deceased; letters issued to W.
L. Sergeant; order made limiting time to
THE LATTER DAY SAINTS.
A Son ofthe Original .foe Smith Elected
President— Representation From
the States and Territories—Active Mission
Work Resolved Upon.
Kibtland, 0., April —The second day
conference of the Latter Day Saints made
permanent organization at the afternoon
session. President, Joseph Smith, Jr.;
vice president, R. M. Elvan; secretary,
Herman C. Smith. The committee on
credentials reported members present
from the following districts: Pittsburg;
Northern Illinois; Iowa; Little Sioux dis
trict; Southwestern Illinois; Michigan;
Northern Indiana: Decatur district, Illi
nois; Kewanee district, Massachusetts; !
Florida; Missouri; St Louis district; Lon
don; Canada; Northern Nebraska; Western i
Iowa; Pottawattamie district, Iowa;
Tremont district, western Missouri;
Nauvoo, Illinois, district, northern Illinois
and Chico branch church, Idaho, Nevada,
Central Texas, Kansas and Georgia.
Counsellor W. W. Blair reported the
programme of work in the far West. He
said that in the Nevada district were large
numbers of Utah Mormons, and but few of
the Latter Day Saints. In Idaho he said
there were 10,000 Utah Mormons and sever
al branches of the reorganized church. The
financial condition of these branches was
excellent and the missions self-sustaining.
Reports from the elders of the quorum of
the twelve apostles of the church gave the
condition of the affairs of the church
in various localities, east and west. Elders
Joseph Love and H. N. Hanson, of Utah,
made a report of the progress of the work
in the territory. These missionaries have
been working in the heart of the polygam
ic camp and converting maay to the latter
day faith. The afternoon's services closed
by the president reading a lengthy memo
rial presented by Secretary Frelinghuysen
some mouths ago, and asking that a dis
tinction be made by the government be
tween Utah Mormons and the reorganized
church. To-morrow services will be
preaching only, by Joseph Smith, Elder
W. W. Blair, Elder Gurle y and others.
Methodist Conference Doing*.
Pbovidence, R. I., April —The New
England Southern Methodist conference
pledges^nt the rate of two cents a mem
ber, to pay the debts of the Metropolitan
church at Washington. A report of the
committee on Sabbath observance declares
the .sanctity of that day, and deprecates
Sunday travel and Sunday funerals. The
committee on Indian policy indorsed ' the
platform and principles adopted by the
legislature of Pennsylvania. The report
approving the work of the American Bible
society was adopted.
Sued for False Imprisonment.
Buffalo, April 7. —The society for the
protection of destitute Roman Catholic
children have been sued for $5,000 dam
ages by Peter Fossett, a former inmate,
who alleges false imprisonment.
Heavy Seal Cargoes.
St. Johns, N. F. April 7. —The steamers
Falcon and Bear have arrived from the ice
fields. The former has 21,000, the latter
31,000 seals, worth nearly $200,000.
Won hy Acton.
Philadelphia, April 7. —The wrestling
match between Joe Acton and Tom Con
ner* for $1,000, was won by Acton in two
straight throws. Two thousand people
"Worthy of Praise,
As ii ride we d> aot recommend Patent Medi
cines, bat when wo know of one that really is a
public benefactor, and doss positively cure,
then"we consider it our duty to impart that in
formation to all. Electric Bitters are truly a
most valuable medicine, and will surely cure
biliousness, fever and ague, stomach, liver and
kidney complaints, even when all other remedies
fail. Wo know whereof we speak, and can freelv
recommend them to all. — Exch. Sold at 50 cents
a bottle by Lambio & Bethune.
Indianapolis, April —At a meeting of
the leading military gentlemen and prom
inent citizens held to-night, arrangements
were perfected for holding th9 second an
nual military encampment in this city,
commencing July 2. -.;'• ;>.
Are Yon Ooing to .faint.
Minneapolis Liquid Paint has proved itself £
be one of the best liquid paints in the marketo
Send for our new card of colors. Skinner & Sly,«
211 Second street south, Minneapolis. .
Goes to Washington on Monday.
Indianapolis, Ind., April 7.—Postmaster
General Gresham is closing up his business
as rapidly as possible, and ' he expects to
leave for Washington on Monday night.
We cannot help noticing the liberal offer
made to all invalids and sufferers by Dr. King's
New Discovery for Consumption. .You are re
quested to call at Lambie & Bethune's drug store
nd get a trial bottle free of cost if you are suf
fering with consumption, severe coughs, colds,
asthma, bronchitis, hay fever, loss of voice,
hoarseness,' or any affection of the throat or
lungs. It will positively cure you. ,
Departure of the I*UUardists. '.
Chicago, April 7.—Vignaux and Schaef
fer have announced that they will go to
St. Louis and Cincinnati and play exhibi
tion games next week, Iremaining in the
latter city three days. The game at St.
Louis will be the regular three-ball, and
fifteen hundred points. Sexton, Dion and
Daly go to New York at once.. '. •. |
To Open Their Factories.
Ltschbubg, April 7.—The , striking to
bacco operatives are divided, one party
favoring a return to work. The manufac
turers will open their factories on Monday
at old schedule prices.
Orijjg's Glycerine Salve
The best on earth can truly be said of Griggs'
Glycerine Salve, which is a sure cure for cuts,
bruises, scalds, burns, wounds, and all other
sores. Will positively cure piles, tetter and all
skin eruptions. -Satisfaction guaranteed or
money refunded. Only twenty-fiva cents. For
sale by P. J. Dreis, comer Ninth and St. Peter
streets. B " . ". - .■■.:,'•■
PITH AM) POINT.
A celebrated physician says one
third of people's complaints are purely
imaginary. . This can not help being
welcome news to those who have snakes
in their boots.
Speaking of cremation, Blobbs re
marked : "Well, I would rather not be
burned after death." "Then," remark
ed a friend, "you should mend your"
ways at once."
A-.New York museum man wants to
have a contest for homely women, but
can't get any entries. It is very difficult
to find women who think themselves
homely enough to compete.
One of the saddest moments in life is
when a man is looking through an old
vest and thinks he has found a 10-cent
piece, which, when brought to light,
turns out to be a cough lozenger. *
Hostess: ""What, must you go al
ready, Professor?" The "Professor—
"My dear madam, there is a limit even
to my capacity of inflicting myself on
my friends!" Hostess—"Oh, no—not
at all—I assure you !"•
Jennie June declares that there are
no scientific dressmakers in this coun
try. The trouble is the fashionable
dressmaker lavishes all her scientific
attainments on making out the bill.
There's where all the science goes.
The mistress has gently reprimanded
her maid for oversleeping herself in the
morning. "You see, ma'am," explained
the servant, "I sleep very slowly, and
so you see, ma'am, it takes me much
longer to get my full sleep than it does
others, you see, ma'am."
A Pennsylvania paper tells of a
family which has been poisoned by eat
ing pie containing arsenic. It seems
like a work of supererogation to put
arsenic into pie. A pie that cannot kill
a family without the help of arsenic is
a very weak pie indeed.
"What is the difference betwane the
youths'and the min's departments at
the big clothing shop?" asked an Irish
man of a friend; and, receiving no re
ply, he continued, "Because, at the wan
I buys me clothes, and at the other I
clothes me — Harvard Lampoon.
"I surPosE when women get their
rights," said the young man in the flat
hat, "you girls will be making love to
the fellows. It must be awfully nice to
be made love to, you know." "Yes,"
replied Angelina, "only one wants to
choose one's lovers." The next moment
the young man in the flat hat was stand
ing alone, feeling flatter than his flat
- Ix a town not many miles from Bos
ton, a man stepped into a neighbor's
house where he saw the head of the
family lying upon his back on the floor,
and his wife standing over him, as ho
thought, with a threatening air. He
was about to withdraw, when the pros
trate man shouted, "Come along in,
Steve; she is only chalking me out a
pair of pants."
"How did you come to break off your
engagement with Miss Snowball?"
asked Uncle Moso of Andy Perkins, an
Austin darky. "In de fust place, Uncle
Mose, she wasn't berry young, and she
didn't hab no money, and jawed like de
debbel; secondly, she wouldn't hab me,
and went and married anudder niggah,
so I tuck de advice ob my frens and jess
drapped her."— Texas SiJ'tings.
An impetuous Vienna lover kissed
bis sweetheart on the ear, and from
that moment she was deaf. Married
men must be careful when they salute
their wives with connubial osculation,
although there are some wretches de
praved enough to try the experiment of
kissing both ears at once if they thought
it would insure a total loss of hearing
on the part of their better halves.
A gentleman at the theater sits be
hind a lady who wears a very large hat.
"Excuse me, madam, but unless you re
move your hat I can see absolutely
nothing." Lady ignores him. "Excuse
me, madam, but unless you remove
your hat something unpleasant will
happen." Lady ignores him again.
Gentleman puts on his own hat. Loud
cries from the audience: "Take off that
hat! Take off that hat!" Lady thinks
they mean her hat. and removes it.
"Thank you, madam."
An impecunious young lawyer, ono
day, requested a private interview with
oae of the wealthiest men in Austin. As
soon a3 the door was closed the young
lawyer said, earnestly: "Life is a bur
den to me unless you consent to my
marriage with your daughter. I como
to ask your consent." Tho wealthy
man, who did not have much use for
lawyers, replied: "To which one of my
daughters do you refer I have three."
"Colonel, I refer to whichever one you
want me to have," was the candid reply.
— Texas Si/tings.
And He Was Glad of It.
Almost every night of his life for the
last twenty-three years a Detroiter has
been aroused from his slumbers by a
poke in the ribs and a voice whisper
ing: "John! John! do you hear that?"
On such occasions the conversation
has always run in one channel, and about
"Don't you hear that noise?"
"Listen! I tell you some one is rais
ing a window V*
\ "For heaven's sake, John, get un or
we'll be murdered in our beds! I hear
some one moving around in the dining
"Let 'em move!"
"There it is again! If you. don't get
up I will, for I'm all in a chill!"
There was no peace until John got up
and stumbled around the house with a
.rusty old revolver in his grip. I He never
expected it was anything more than the
wind or the frost or the cat, but almost
every night brought a repetition.
One night ushered in an entire
change of programme. „ Just before
midnight tho wife elbowed his spine
"Mercy on me! but I feel a draught
of cold air!"
"Nonsense!" growled the sleepy hus
band. - '. ; -'-•-.
"And I hear» some one walking
"Scat!" . '-
"It's the cat!"
"Get out of bed this minute, or 111
yell murder and arouse the neighbor
John obeyed. He felt the cold air on
his legs as he tramped through the up
per hall, and when he was half way
down stairs a dark figure skipped out
of the open front door. When hVreach
ed the threshold he saw a man running
across the street, and he called out:
"Hello! there; hold on!"
The ma:; halted.
"Come back here, you burglar! Come
back and I r3! cive Toujthe ran of the
house I Fve been waiting ior ana ex
pecting you for over twenty years, and
now I didn't want to be shook in this
manner!" '-'A 1'.-■•■ ■-'.'.f^-f^-A .?.->'. " :
"You go to South America!" shouted
the man. ■ ~ ■/'.:L l-: f ■y'-.-ya-
"Well, I'll leave the door open for
you, and you can enter and burglar
around for a whole hour if you want to
and I won't lift a finger. I'm glad you
got powerful glad; and sorry I drove
you cut befere you loaded up m
He left the door open and walked up
stairs and jumped into bed, but his wife
threw up a window and whistled for the
police and raised such a racket that the
aeighbors were aroused. It was found
that the robber had opened the front
ioor with a false key, but had been
riven away before he had time to
secure any plunder. »
•I've just got tired of poking around
for burglars when there are no bur
glars," exclaimed the man as he waved
the crowd out of the hall, "and if this
chap had only stopped long enough to
fire at me a couple of times, hanged if
I wouldn't have bought him a new over
coat!"—Detroit Free Press.
A Sea Picture.
From time to time items of intelli
gence, extraordinary, tragical, gastly
and always full of a wild, striking later
est, come to us from the sea. It is hard
to account for the peculiar fascination
which ocean news possesses. Is it be
cause the bareness and the barrenness
of the -great salt _snr face gives a .signifi
cance that one seeks for in vain among
the throng of interests ashore, to all re
ports which arrive from its swelling and
limitless waste? Is it becausne otiiing
happens there that does not catch some
thing of the mystery of the universe of
fathomless waters? Not a ship's report,
commonplace as it may be, and refer
ring to little more than winds and par
allels and meridians, but kindles the
imagination ' as no other plain state
ment could; and in reading that she
rounded the Horn on such-and-such a
day, took the southeast trades in such
and-such latitude, and crossed the equa
tor in such-and-such longitude, a pic
ture of the sea is before us. The
stormy Antarctic headland is there with
its roaring surges and the green acclivi
ties of its giant icebergs; the trade wind
is there, whipping the ocean into leagues
of running silver, filling the white can
vas and holding it steady as carved
marble, and checkering the heaven of
the Southern hemisphere with those
swelling masses of trade-cloud whicli
soar, above the horizon; the broiling
equator is there, breathless under the
burning eye of the sun that centers the
sky and makes no shadow, the oil
smooth water leaning into the sultry
haze of the sea-line, and nothing to tar
nish the copper-brightness of its surface
but a catspaw in the far distance, travel
ing slowly and fading presently like the
moisture of breath upon a looking
glass. These are the inspirations whieh
glow from the prosaic narrative of the
shipmaster; but the deeper magic is
felt when he brings home with him
scrtne brief and dreadful tale, oftener a
hint rather than a narrative, though
more suggestive and full in that form
than were all the particulars related
and the story rounded to completion.
An Hungarian Sharper.
A certain Hungarian Countess, well
known for her riches and beauty,
graced with her presence the perform
ance at the summer theater at Buda-
Pesth one evening. On one of herl'air
fingers her Ladyship w rore two diamond
rings, exactly like each other. During
an entr'acte there presented himself in
her box a big fellow in gorgeous livery
—six feet of the finest flunkey imagina
ble. Quote he, in purest Hungarian:
"My mistress, Princess P , has sent
me to beg of your Ladyship the loan of
one of your rings for five minutes. Her
Highness has observed them from her
box opposite, and is very anxious to ex
ammo one more closely, as she wishes
to have one made alter the pattern."
Without an instant's hesitation the
Countess handed a ring to "Jeames,"
who bowed with respectful dignity and
retired. The performance over the two
great ladies met on the stair case, and
the countess begged the lady to keep
the ring at her convenience. "What
ring, my dear?" Denouement! Tab
leau ! The "powdered menial" was no
flunkey at all, but a thief, and the ring
wtui gone. The police were informed of
the impudent trick. Justice seemed to
have overtaken the culprit in a very
few strides, for the next coining the
countess, whilst still en robe-derchambre,
received a letter informing her thai the
thief had been caught and the ring
found on his person, "only," added the
note, "the man stoutly denies thecharge
and declares the ring to be dis own.
To clear up all doubt pray come at once
to the police station or send duplicate
ring by bearer." To draw the second
ring from her finger and intrust in joy
iui'ly to the messenger—a fine fellow in
* -iii police uniform -together with a
:.aiuUo:ne"tip" for the glorious news,
»- as the work of a moment. And, when
her Ladyship, an hour later betook her
self, radiant, to the police station to re
cover her jewels, a slight mistake came
to light. Well, my ring? I could not
come myself at the instant I got your
letter." "What letter, madame'.-" 'De
nouement ! Tableau No. 2! The thief
had them both.
The Order of Nature.
If you shake up a basket of fruit or
of gravel the smaller portions will go
toward the bottom, the larger ones will
come toward the top. This is the order
of nature. There is no way of evading
it. And the same order prevails in the
basket of human life. The world's
shaking will send the small characters
downward and bring' the larger ones
toward the top. The larger ones are
not to blame for this. .The smaller
ones have no right to complain of it. It
is the shaking that does the business.
Improvement in Pianos.
[ A Munich inventor has brought for
ward an improvement in the construc
tion of pianofortes, which, it is claimed,
meets the problem of equalizing the
strength and fullness of the different
octaves.' A series of tuning, forks are
freely suspended over the three highest
octaves of the piano, each fork having
the exact 'pitch of the string over which
it is suspended. The vibrations of the
string are communicated to the fork,
which, in return, reacts on the string,
and thus a full and restrained tone is
secured, in strong contrast to the usual
Ehort and dry tone of th_3 instrument.
Birtlln'i Arnica *-rt'v<-.
The bust salve in the world for cuts,"'bruises, J
■ore;, ulcers, salt rheum, fover sores, t»tter, j
chapped hands, chilblains, corns, and aU akin |
eruptions, and positively euros pilos. It is !
guarautped to give perfect sataafaction or monev j
te.'rm-J-.Hl Price 25 centp per box. For sal'., by J
The Coming Aaje of Inteiftc-n^
'i "Wo hide our best selves, A-." we be
not understood. Had wo more f.iltii in,
and less -distrust of our fel ■ rs. wo
might often find a comrade i:V spirit,
where now we gaze askance ami dis
consolate-cherishing our dumbness in
an agony of soul.
Each soul as it comes in contact with
others is cognizant of a feeling cf at
traction or '•repulsion; couid we but
realize that this subtle, yet potent, in
fluence, that speaks to o-.ir inner eon
sciousness, is the witness that %l-:oi'\ tho
soul's true measurement of rin ei;virbn
ments, we would lean upon its e. --noils
in all trustfulness, rather .ilia;} upon
the admonition that come.; from i'te in
tellect alone. But -::. ( iv -.; v/crhlly
wisdom, based upon a narrow ckvlo of
so-er.Hed facts, tends to warn us contin
ually against our better Ives. Our
intuit'on is, I apprehend, our reason
blossomed out, and too long han this
higher power been subject to nJ.o--.ver;
too long has our ideal been sniibbbd by
the so-called real.
The coming age is one of intuition.
Therein will woman assume thing
of- her natural prerogative, reigning
queen among those who have styled
themselves her lord. Our poets, phil
osophers^ seers and sagas have each in
their turn been styled fools and mani
acs, because, forsooth, their mental
processes were not so cumbersome as
that of their fellows. ' But mankind
will ever cultivate and cherish whatso
ever is held in high esteem and valued
most among their fellow-men.
Says Lewes: "Intuition is the clear
vision of relations." And again : "All
great discoveries were seen intuitively
long before it was possible to exhibit
the correctness of their ground or dis
entangle the involved data." "When,
therefore, these truths shall be fully
accepted in the lives of men; when the
intuitive faculties shall be trusted, hon
ored and valued, not only for their
beauty but for their utility, then will they
be cultivated; and mothers will feel
honored in handing down to their sous
an inheritance heretofore despised; for,
"like father like son," is not half so true
as "like mother like son." And woman
from time immemorial has been sneered
at as illogical, because of the superior
ity of her intuition; but the time is near
at hand who:; this item in the category
of heredity will be thought of a
amount importance— least, to the
cultivation of a certain variety, of fan
tailed pigeons! "
Carbonic Acid as an Antiseptic.
Some instructive results regarding
the preservative action of carbonic acid
on meat have been obtained by Prof.
Kolbe, of Leipsic. He hung pieces of
beef, including fat and bone, in cylin
drical tinned iron vessels, which were
kept in a warm room of the laboratory,
where the temperature at midday rose
to 32 0 C. Each piece was hung from
a cross bar; a plate for dropping liquid
stood below; just over this was a tubu
lar passage for entrance of carbonic
acid; the cylindrical lid of the •vessel
entered an annular trough holding
glycerine, and had a tubulure in the
middle. "When nearly all the air* was
supposed to be driven out tlfrough the
latter tubulure by the entering gas, the
elastic tubes connected to both tubu
lures were pinched with screws. After
eight days in the vessel the beef was
not distinguishable from fresh beef in
aspect or taste after cooking, and the
gravy was like that from fresh beef.
After a fortnight the beef had become
somewhat gray externally, and only a
fine palate would distinguish the gravy
from that of fresh meat. Sometimes
beef and -gravy had a weakly acid taste,
which was easily remedied with a little
carbonate of potash. After three weeks
tlie beef was still of the same good
quality, only softer than fresh bet and
requiring less time to cook. It was
quite free from bad smell even after
from four to five weeks, but the cooked
gravy then no longer tasted so good as
fresh gravy. The experiment ceased
at that point, and it is believed to prove
that carbonic acid is an excellent means
of keeping beef from putrefaction and
maintaining its good taste for several
weeks. It is noteworthy that mutton
under like treatment began to smell
badly after eight days: veal, too, could
not be kept so long as beef. Fowls and
game were not tried. Pish, lobsters,
oysters and fruit could be kept only a
Daughter (home from school) —•
"Now, papa, are you satisfied? Just
look at my testimonial ' Political econ
omy, satisfactory; fine arts and music,
very good ; logic, excellent.' " Father
— "Very much so, my dear—especially
as regards your future. If your husband
should understand anything of house
keeping, cooking, mending and the use
of the sewing-machine, perhaps your
married life will indeed bo happy."
Eli Pebeess and Sojourner Truth
met for the first time. El jwas quite
overcome, and remarked : "Is it possi
ble that you have lived to be 100 years
old and never met me before? Where
could I have been?" "Wandering in
paths where truth is never found, I
reckon!" pointedly returned the centen
A good Baptist clergyman of Bergen, N. Y., a
strong temperance man; suffered with kidney
trouble, neuralgia, and dizziness almost to blind
ness, over two years i.fter he was told that Hop •
Bitters would cure him, because he was afraid ■
of and prejudiced against "Bitters." Since his
cure he says none need fear but trust in Hop
Office Board of Fire Commissionebs, >
St. Paul, March 29, 1883/ )
m Sealed proposals will be received at the office
of Board of Fire Commissioners for one double '
tank chemical engine, each tank to be of the
capacity , of sixty, eighty and ninety gallons,
all bids to be sent in on or before the 9th day
of April, 12 o'clock m. Said Board reserves
the right to reject any and all bids.
By order of tho Board. .
89-93 i- - WM. O'GORMAN, Secretary.
;THE GREAT cure*
C B —— ■ iiii —
c Aa it is for all tha paioful diseases of the -a
£ K:pNEYS,L|V£R AMD EOV/2LS. §
• "L-, It °*'sea '-c 3--1 of lho acT-id poison
'i- 5 causes the .',J.i.I suttferhi" •which ©
© °— thi; victims c: ...:-.eviJiatii:r.i cr-2. realize. >
i'3 , v THOUSANDS CF 'JASEti J
J+) of tho woi-st forms ci" 1__i3 terrible disease «
.-.-.have Men quickly and In abort time "
«| PERFECTLY CURED. •
ojrnicE, $i. sU'jiincr. mat, sold &r druccists. ■§
< \ ii- Dry can be sent by mail, 3
■ IX/EIiTA;, P.ICirATiD_0;i"& Co.. BurlimrtonVt ■
h— * :- ■ i