Newspaper Page Text
The Evening World Daily Magazine, Friday, August 18, 1911.
m O. HENRY'S LAST AND BEST SHORT STORIES
. H JB
Major Pendleton TaTee
f Mobile air, m hi, daugfe
tar. Idles Lydla Talbot, tarn,
to Waatllngtoa to reside they
selected for a boarding plaoe
fcouee tbt atood flftr yard, back
from en, of th, quietest wmum,
In thta pleasant, private boarding
ou rbey engaged room,, including ,
atudr for Major Talbot, who waa add
ing th, finishing chapters to hi, book
"Anecdotes and Ramlnlacencai of th,
Alabama Army, Bench and Bar."
Major Talbot waa of th, old, old
Feuth. The present day had llttl. In
ter, or excellence la hi, ,y,. HU
mind lived In that period bafor, th,
civil war, wnen th, Talbota owned
thousand, of acres of fln, cotton land
tnd th, staves to till them: whan th,
family mansion waa th, scene of prince
ly hospitality, and draw Its guaata from
th, aristocracy of th, South.
Out of that period he had brought
f Sayings of .
Covjnslit, 1011. t
r:' J the banks of the Hudson. Ana the wa fine wun
' Vial! WEALS, and the worship of the TRUTH.
jj irW ' Now. upon a day, the tourneyed unto the photog
rapher i, and admonithed him, toying:
"I want a characterittlo picture, which shatl be
Do not flatter me. For I MNN that LINES denote
ggsKtiy LILU me.
And the photographer hearkened unto her and did her bidding.
But. when the PROOFS were shout, unfo her, the cried out:
"WBAT! It thit a caricature or a LIBELf There mutt be tomething
the matter with thy LENS; for I turely do not look like THATT
Then ttraightway the photographer became true, and antuered Mr,
"Nay. madamr Peradventure the L1QBT wat wrong. But if thou wilt
tit again" .
And he made another picture of her and gave it to the retoucher, toying:
"Do thy work well with the angle, and fill in the curvet. Yea, make
And behold, when the maiden taw
a mightily, toying:
"THAT it a perfect likeness"
And, again, the went unto the thoe
"l want a COMFORTABLE thoe."
And he brought her a B.
But the damsel wat horrified, and let her wrath tall upon him, aw
"Why, I WEVBR wore more than a t-A, in all my UfeF
Then the merchant departed and erattd the NUMBER from off tha
thoe. and returned and offered it to her, taying:
"Here it thy right tlte."
And the wat tatisfled. and TOOK it.
Likewite, the maiden tought the hairdresser, and advised with him,
"Make me a PIMPLE coiffure, for I detpite artificiality."
And the perruquicr took her at her word and wound her lock Madonna-
Then the WAS wrofh.
And thereupon the perrugvier brought forth twenty-three pufft, and a
HO twitch, and pinned them upon her head at vartout anglet.
And the damtel floated in her lovelinett, crying:
"VOW, I look like MYSELF!"
Vow, in the evening, the maiden's betrothed came unto her dwelling.
And the addretted him, remarking:
"7 ell me ALWAYS the truth, my Beloved: for there need be NO dig
eimulalion between US. How do I LOOKT'
And her Beloved was torely confuted For he knew that NO man can
he both truthful and POLITE at the same time. Yet he obeyed her meekly,
"My Darling, thou lookett. at alwayt, FAIR TO MIDDLING well Tea.
thou tpouldsf pass in a croud."
But the maiden arose, and there wat wrath and warning in her aye.
Then a great LIQU7 broke upon the youth, and he hastened to cry out:
"Kay, Beauteous One! 1 wot only fothing the. Thou KNOW EST that
thou art the fairett and loveliett, and most perfectly ad ora bis creature
that weareth pufft and petticoati."
And the fell upon his neck, crying:
OK Jack! Then. WHY, oh, my Beloved, will men continue alwayt to
US unto a unman, in this Witet
For they are ALL monsters of deceit! Betaht
VrieLV. ALF ,
Of ReaooRcesi I Coht
FTCR i)nT DiGHAcePuL SCChe
IM TVie rdAf1,&tRS OFFice , 1
Pa tftftLP na,
an It, Ml fjrMe aad ecraplse of onor.
an antiquated and punctilious polite
ness, and (rn would tbiak) Ms ward
robe. flush clothes ware aorely never mad,
within flftr years. The major was tall,
hat whenever he made that wonderful
archaic genuflexion h, called a bow,
the corner, of bla frock coat swept the
Oa, of th, boarder, chrteteaed tt a
Tether Hubbard," and It certainty waa
high In th, walat and full In the skirt
But th, major, with all hla queer
clothaa, his Immense area of platted,
ravelling shirt boaom, and th, llttl,
black string He with th, bow always
slipping on an, aide, both waa smiled
at and liked In Mrs. Vardsman's select
boarding house. Soma of th, young
department clerks would often "string
him." as they called It. getting him
stsrted upon th, subject dsarsst to him
th, tradition and history of his be
During hla talk, h, would quote freely
from the "Anecdotes and Reminiscen
ces." But they were very careful not
to lot him aee their designs, for la aptts
Being the Confessions of the Seven
Tnnsuttd Helen Rowland.
Th 1'ran 1'ubuabui, Co. iTbe Nw York World).
Daughter, there dwelt a damsel upon
it, the waa rejoiced, and praised
merchant, and contulted with Mat,
"Them Was the Happy Days!
M AT Trre-EMO
vvAl To ToRM , MO
VM1 DEVI ue
of hla sixty-sight years, he could maks
tha boldest of them uncomfortable bs
der th, stsady regard of his piercing
Mass Lydla waa a plump, little old
maid of thirty five, with amoothly
drawn, tightly twlatod hair that mads
her look still older. Old fashioned,
too, aba was; but ante-bellum glory
did pot radiate from her as it did from
tha major. She possessed a thrifty
common eeaae; and It was shs who
handled th, finances of th, family, and
met all corners whan there were bills
Tha major regarded board bllla and
wash bllla as contemptible nuisances.
They kept earning In so persistently
end so often. Why, th, major wanted
to know, aould thsy not be filed and
paid In a lump sum at soma convenient
period say when the "Anscdotes snd
Reminiscences" hsd been published snd
paid for' Miss Lydla would calmly go
on with her sewing and aay:
"We'll pay aa w, go as long as tha
money lasts, and then perhsps they'll
have to lump It"
Most of Mrs, Vsrdsmsn's boarders
war, away during the day, being nearly
all department oterka and business men;
but there waa on, of thorn who was
about th, houss a great dsal from
morning to night This waa a young
man named Henry Hopkins Hargravea
every one In the house addressed him
by his full name who was angsged at
one of the popular vaudsvttle theatres
Vaudeville has risen to sueh a re
spectable plane In the last fsw years,
and Mr. Hargravea was aueh a modest
and well-mannered person, that Mrs.
Vardeman could find no objection to en
rolling him upon her list Of boarders.
At ths theatre Hargravea was known
as an all-round dialect comedian, hav
ing a large repertoire of German, Irish.
Swede and black-face specialties. But
Mr. Hargravea waa ambitious, and
eflen spoks of his great desire to suc
ceed In legitimate comedy.
This young man appeared to conceive
a strsng fancy for Major Talbot When
ever that gentleman would begin his
Southern reminiscences, or repeat soms
of the liveliest of the anecdotM. Har
gravss could alway, be found, th, most
attentive imons his listeners.
For a time the major showed an In
clination to discourage the advances of
the "play actor," aa he privately termed
him; but soon the young man's agree
able manner and Indubitable apprecia
tion of the old gentleman's stories com
pletely won him over.
It wss not long before the two were
Ilk, old chums. The major set spart
esch afternoon to read to him the man
uscript or nis book. During ths snec
dotes Hargravea never failed to laugh
IS Matter, Pop 7
I ' ' ssaasssp- f aa
at exactly the right point The major
was moved to declare to Miss Lydla
ons day that young Hargravas pos
sessed remarkable perception and a
gratifying respect for the old reglm.
And when It came to talking of those
old days If Malor Talbot liked to talk,
Mr. Hargmves was entranced to listen.
Like almost all old people who lulu
of the paat the Major lovod to linger
over deyiia. In describing th, splen
did, almost royal days of tha old plant
ar, n, would nealtat, until ne nu re
called th, nam, of th, negro who held
hi, horse, or the exact date of certain
minor happenings, or the number of
balea of cotton ralssd In such a year,
but Hargravea never grew Impatient or
On the contrary, he would advance
queatlone on a variety of aubjecta con
nected with the life of that time, and
h never failed to extract ready repliea.
The fox hunts, the possum suppers,
the hoe downs and Jubilee In the negro
quarters, the banquets In the planta
tion house hall, when Invitations went
Copyright 1811. sr Th Praw t-ubllania, Co. (Tha Maw terk Worst).
seas. -.. tl0WA0 r-avrirtjrLnxLJTjT-nri .
Oaprtifbt, 111, sr Tb fraw
riK'5Wo .TUe VAOoeviLLe.
rAAMA&eft.. I'VE COKit T& HC0eA6C MS
6TUNT trl aWI Ot-HCC ,es'fcH9Ai
flORE. ooJuv. $e pi
COME t-"Hc VillH M
t 0 M(-,nh. COME UlNfc VIW MP tn ikawiV I I . -rv.,,.., a eT , -1, cJ urricn i . , . ,' -estsswCJTZtaY
for fifty miles sround; the occasional
feuds with the neighboring gentry; the
Major' duel with Hathbone CulberteOfl
about Kitty fholmers, who aflsrwsn
married a Thwslte of Houth Carolina;
snd private yacht race for fnhulous
sums on Mobile Kay; the quaint he
lief. Improvident habits and loyal vlr
tiiea of the old slave nit thete were
subject that held both the Malor and
Hargrove, absorbed for hours at a
euinviime at ilium when the youtiK
man would be coming upstairs to hla
room after his turn at the theatre Was
Over, ths Major would appear at the
door of hla study and beckon archly to
him. Going In, Margrave would tnd
a little table set with a decanter, ucar
bcwl, fruit and a big bunch of freah
"it occurred to me." the Major would
bctjln hs was alna.a ceremonloua
"that perhaps you tnKht have found
your OUtlSS at th-nt your plae, of oc.
..,,..,.....-,......,.,,, ,,,,,. .nam,
you, Mr. Margraves, to appreciate what
',','S assasaasaaasaaaa rrTlrifpJSJj
Publlabiai Co. (Ths Ne lurk World).
njovTwC i-Soco. A
fVNEeK Vol VilTrl A
(.Ol nln I -
(.-DW.AiHT IT''- 2n I fJb mot a Tieo IT 10 V : Akjm.
,1; 111 J
nit , 1 1 1 s in n a
with wht ervQU'iTa
NICETY Ml eoTIMATrlO
poci nugtu well hrvo Had In Ma
mind whan he WrolV'ttred KatUrVs
Trij-iji aaxessssssssjss n saxessaaxssseasisssxessssssssxsi --
lOU KH0ry'. AfO JlrsM-1 UKOMt LOW U
e..,.- cl-.-cO TK Z.IT KlnHh'V To RlN UlM A
5LEO- rUlUA HA ArlO I
rVlhl fi COftSTCO DONN TO
sweet restorer' one of our Honthern
It wu a fascination to Hart-rave te
watch him make It. lie took rank
smong artlata when he began, and h,
never varied the process with whst
delicacy he bruises th mint; with what
ex.iillte nicety he estimated the Ingre
dient: with what Oltettotej care h,
rapped the compound with th scarlet
fruit glowing aguinst th dark green
And then t i ilsaalHIItT and rra-e
with Which he offered It. after aelcted
out Mrawt had been Blunged Into Its
After ghoul four month In Waahtng
ton. Mine I. Mil i dleuOfaied one morn
ing that they were slmoat without
money. Th "Atec.lntes and fleml
n!"rnc" was completed, but pub
llaher had not lump-. I at th collect I
gem Of 4lgBgma eenae aril wit. Ths
rental of a Small houa whl-h they
atlll owned In Mol ! - two months
In arrears Their board i-ioney for th.
month would he due In three day. Mlia
lydla called her fathsr to a consults-
"Vo money?" said he with a surprised
look. "It la quite annoying to be Ballad
on so frequently for t ieao petty auma.
The malor aesrehed hla nokeia. He
found only two-dollar hill, which h,
returned to his veat pocket.
Blind Copied and
CentrifM. lt1l. b Th Pra PuMlatihif Co rThe Ww Tor World).
By Sophie Irene l.oeb.
NO now before ths court Is
young woman who, aa the poe'a
would put It, loved "not w'.aely
but too well, nn,
In ono man and
found hs wasn't
Trust Is a fine
thing. It Is neces-
aary. There AtR
real huuuina In the
world. And, con
trary to the cynic,
there ADR men lo
be trusted. It !
not such a bad
world after all. It
Soph i I iRENC
Is good to believe
In the creature.i that psopfl trie I
And he who has no belief In those about
him Is usually the garrulous grouch or
the hardened old bachel r who p iff his
ripe some lonely Saturday evening and
reflects on "the mUht-hsve-bceua" of
Ho that, aooner or later, love t, the
NKCKSMAHY rudiment. It Is th ruler
of the universe. In fact, love la the
lubricant that makea lbs urhssb of the
world go round.
Hut, oocaaionally, too much of It
makea those wheela go too faat un
naturally so And then In the vwcriU of
Hilly It.ixter, 'There is a bit ot rough
And It alwnya happsns thj' where
there la "the devil lo pay" the price Is
not considered. That Is. It la not con
rblered BtCFORti th- paytn. nt Is I)K
M VNDKH. So that all that eeema lovelv
can In the course of twenly-four hours
aa..u'ne alarming proportions.
And Ihn womnn In th, case awikeni
some blue Mondsy with the cry of "Why
do I suffer aot"
Now the cynic will any: "Too pay for
everything'" That r.y be true. But
there Is ANOTIIKR aide. And that, if
you do not buy or borrow, you have no
payment fo make So that th.a young
woman who noniinVEn trouble Is
Baying perhaps now with an exorbitant
Interest that ahe had not reckoned with.
To every woman thero la no OR BAT-
Elt 1ov th in being loved No matter If
she be the aturdy ak or ths cllnirlng
vine And. mark you, even In this auf-
frsge atate of thlhgl we have the cling-
THE current vear marks the cen
tenary of ltunn, of whom Oet
wald apeak aa "th greateat In
orssnlo chomlat of ths nlniilesnt!i
century aluus Ucrssellua"
In sddltlon to it card Index ehm,,
lUicklngham Palace runa a presa clip
ping bureau on aa big and thorough ,
scale as the professional agencies.
The glasses used In Hungarian cafes
will be Bunkered In tho near future
i means of preventing tha spread
Toci - IT fWAf FftOy
i . i aam i
f rtii-...-r' I , BJeJJI .
j T mnet attend to this at onea. tardla,"
I rie aald. "Kindly get me my umbrella
and I will go downtown Immediately.
I The Cnngreaaman from our district,
I den. Fulghum, assured me seme days
iMii that hs would une Ms Influence to
; get my book published at an early
I date I will go to his hotel at once and
I see whit srrsngement has been made."
I With a sad il' tie enrlie Mies I.ydia
watched him button hi "Farrier Hub
hard" an I depart, pausing at tha doir,
I aa hs alwaya ..l. to how profoundly.
That evening, at dark, he returned. It
I emed that cyingremnn FulaThum had
een the publisher who had Ul, major,
BtagjaacHpi for reading.
Thst peron had said that If the an
ecdotes. Arc , were carefully pruned
d.'wn about on half, In order to ellm
Inate th sctlonal and class prejudice
with which the book wns dyed from
en. I to end. he might oonsldsr Its pub
lication. Th malor waa In a whit heat of
nncer, but resa'ned hla eouanlmlty. ac
cording to hla cods of manners, as soon
as he wa In M!s l.y lla's presence.
"We must havs money." said Mis
I.vdla, with a llttl wrinkle above her
noe. "O'.ve mo the two dollars and I
will telegraph to Unols KeJph for aoas
(To Pa Continued.)
Intt ereature with all h fanclea and
It la a womin' heritage, this trust1n
love came, and (we can talk from now
; unlll 4cnmar) when Lov, come. In.
prudence la put In the background.
VSjltl aTVeaj UeOsMjIi uili ia aliniX.
It la not a rontasrtous disease. Bvsu
Ihnuxh he be with you every minute.
vt.u nerd not be LIKKWIS! afflicted.
The eyes can he kept open with all ths
j natural belief In the human,
For l la pparnt that, thong we are
i continuously confronted wl'h the tre-
ll that lure men to the rocks of dls
ester, th, Clenpatras that draw the
ntoiv-. the Helena that cause wara
yet In the up-to-mlnute times there
folks abroad to balance equally the
record of thee daushlera of Kvs the
man who whispers "sweet nothing In
her ear-whlch have the tendency w
blind her eyea
Bo that love o ten psoducee N'EAH
IIOHTBDMEM tiikuk is the UN
WISM love. When It blinds th, heart o'
her lo SVSrvthlng except THE love ye.
may he quite BUT, thsre la soresthla.
wrnne ah ml it. And th strangs part o
It Is that It never laata. It ha, not th
And though she may be aear-sfgnesd
at the time when he telle her that aha
1 all. ah'.- may cure heiaeif with a litttie
KORKTHOHOHT Kor In truth many a
nriir-alKhled girl la very far-acelng.
And If thla girl had but cultivated e
bit of I.OOKINO AHEAD she would not
now be psylng the penslty of her folly.
It Is WISK to lov WKI.L, but It I, not
well to love UNWMWtT.
Of course, aa In the caae of ths horse
It doea aa good to lock the stable after
j "' hnr"'' anlea Ho. aftsr tha hear:
' 1000, locklnx is difficult.
Hag will AI.W4.ys woo wonen. He
wl" slwnya make her think aha the
nl woman In the world. he will ,1-
w"v' TU'-'ST him -world without and.
11111 l;" hsrssif can make all well end
1 well How? By a llttl CLEAR vision
I ln ,n direction of the love game:
i The man !n th caae.
' Hsl h th right to lovsT rviea he
measure up to the fulnesa of lovef Are
his INTENTIONS aa baautlful aa his
j Thus he wuuld early SAVE the later
AN OUWCI OP PREVTNTIOsT IS
WORTH A POUND OF CONCESSION!
of disease by the promiscuous Inter
change of drinking glasssa
A census of London paupers, made
by the Poor law Commission, Indicates
that tha number haa been uadereett
m.ited, and tt amounts to far every
The longest time that an aemplans
roul I fly without landing In lh wa, a
little over two houra which was doublet
In l?u snd sgaln doubled In lit 10. mak
ing It posslbls to fly over eight hours