The Evening World Dail y M a g a z i n e , Monday, August 12, 1912
tf By C. M. Payne . g j
) An 5E.E -How
WILL ACT wHe.
I . A I
. T 1 ' 1 H
MAf oa ITS
1 . jas.
TUm t-tf ere.
n , -
I SbiHi Lint
Am MOW Ml CD
IT 5 A
(J? TILL WC 6 IT
RH. TUTTLR I going to cat a
divorce because her red hnlr
doesn't match with a green
says he can't af
ford to (It
much to charity, but he In always
willing to give something If It will
help hla business.
A lot of men who have enough
energy to succeed are like crawfishes
they work It backwards.
Itiy Harsh thinks he knows a lot
about every subject, but his mind Is
so small that a very little knowledge
seems to him Uks a lot.
Dr. Watt says thst the new dishes
at the hotel are not unhealthy to eat.
but It will ruin your health to try to
Rev. Frost says he wouldn't want
nil ths dishonest men Imprisoned, be
cause It would not be right to throw
so many women upon their own sup-portablllty.
"deems to me there vxt a lot of tcandal aoout that Milt Strate over
" loultl lay thTr teas. She'i under suspicion itCtttMl no one ever
heard a word againit her."
Some Day (Maybe)
ssr (SS3BSC riTX C RS IB PBHsI tlsa
II j ITW IWs twa Wrtl. f9W
A RICHMOND women has In her employ a
colored cook who has manaKed to break
nearly svery variety of article that the
houauehokl contains The mlstrrss's patience
reached Its limit recently, eaya UpplHOOtt'a, when
the dusky servitor had broken the thei inometer
that huntt on the houHe porch.
"Well, well," sighed the lady of the house, In
a more rcslgnel way; "you've managed to br.-ak
even the thermometer, haven't you?"
The maid replied In a tone squally resigned:
"Yeesum; and now we'll have to take le weather
J 1st as It oomes, won't we?"
'7 ani MtMrtMl over a faur jxii mnrfc hut night."
"Dear met I don't blame you. I'vi heard they were at indigestible ct
0 welsh rabbit."
Ow DO, LORD Ci-AR
DiD You HeAD W
SPEECH in Parliament'
-1 I ER1AY 1
HI-HO ! VNHAT To Do
OLD TOP. WHAT
TO DO ? TEA r
' HO-HUA, BUAHJif
IF I KNOW
OLD CHAP-EH I
C VOU MCTlCED 'OW
I "ArAMERGO THIS
Form - that
.SPEECH OF THE
Hon. SApie Smith
THE M S
LORDS ! -
( Bauly rot
t V ' l S. V ) Te
By Charles Alden Seltzer
(Author of "The Iwo-tiun Man")
An Adventure Romance of the Big West
Jj sWpj1sgeMsaslppp0sg1alal B VWVNAAAAArWVwVVVVVVVwVVwVwVVVVVl
Ragtime Repartee ffi :x; Byjsuve
TTP' wife of an overworked merchant said at
"Will you post this lettsr for me, dear?
! n i , .. , a efcw . . . ...-.I.,-
that htindred-and-nrty-pound sable and ermine
stole. You'll be sure to remember."
fir. tired eyes of the harassed man lit up with
Joy, says Tlt-Ults. lis seized a sklpplnif rops
that lay with a heap of dolls and toys la a cor
ner, and, going to hJs wife, he said:
"Here, tie my right band to my left foot so that
I won't forget!"
"Harry in halts and"
"Yet, yet, I know, 'and repent n Reno." "
"A'ofhinu like it. Marry in hatte and get your pivturei in the papers.'
FOR some reason, Napoleon's name
Is said to appear In print oftener
In the course of the year than that
of any living
r si Ice. often
faked, sell at
fancy prices. Na
poleon's clothes are remembered by
every one. It would fee hard for most
people to recall how Wellington or
George III. or even Washington dressed.
Yet every one recalls Napoleon's gray
great coat, green and white uniform and
cocked bat. When he was young Na
poleon was enemeil at as a soarecrow.
He was wretchedly poor end his clothes
would have illsirraccd a working coal
heaver. Even after lie became a general
he was lsuglably ahabhy. As Ptrst Con
sul and Emperor hs blossomed out ai
regards clothe, but only In very modest
fashion. His famous gray overcoat, for
Instancs, cost him Just Wo Then hs
found, to his delight, another tailor who
would make him one like It for 132, and
thereafter hs patronised the cheaper
tailor. Ilia green uniform coat, ehown
In so many of his pictures, coat Napoleon
70. SO. Of this sum 1)8.80 went for the
epaulets snd Hi tor the coat. His wtfee
extravaitance and her lnahll'ty to ac
count for every penny she spent was a
ore trial to ths Emperor's thrifty soul.
ML " 2fJJ
'Why do to many pianists wear long hair?"
"I suppose it helps to protect their ears from ths noise?"
Jones-Have you noticed how qu
Brown No; I wse never with
eerly Smith acts when he is slonsT
him when he was alone.
Some Good Stories ot the Day
Rastus Is Puzzled.
AN M"l clond man via puslni 4
tort whirl M fttipiAj to -xftintni a
hi.' turtle oiialneil la lha - -r u
Hi )ui MfW rn a Mtrtla ''-'' rr aiil hi
.rifUldul the itratiuc Tfaturw ntnoualv. h-jA-dunly
h ixipiiad iiia laitfn into Ma munrh wltti a
). in -ft pain. Aitrr tha flojt- r had it t
Mttdititf he aJd at It ruefull. Uiau crd t'it
What "a Dm matter, Raetujf " aaked hr 'W
dcalf wUi anu
Niaffni" aah, niaffin'. AJi waa Jat MMlMta'
hrthr Ah had b bti or it una;." U(H)t
on i - dnma ot hta nrt; nuMi. TrUv. th
! drat&a waa t the a ur aa a laid 1w
dnarly in ted. Hut wheu Mr l. tried to to-
tent thMtri-l rai-ltal In the jmd utlm ! tountl
ih'arth ot nthiulanni. Kverrjne BTHH that I.b U
ava laftd iMMtiMtf 1 - and It Ml
Mt d Urn ltt KaJMI " lawiwi. O-ar Hua
tnerateln n.et laVlMH In thi ptlUniLW i-vit-l a", t
the llt Qlaaatiaal waa
"WIUMi ''u S"t MaMIM to prtdu e
Betty Vincent's Advice to Lovers.
A iu' 4-r la i'x1ufe It! I liam't futind a
PUPIftf Uttl 0U I'rfjcMin-w il Knaaa Cit
A Teutonic Opinion.
"J. N." wrltee: "When a lady and
nentleinan leave a houa, who goes out
If there la no servant the gentleman
opens, the door for the lady and ataiidn
aalde tu let her pasa out.
A Queer Job for Seafarers.
IN the New Englsnd States, where the
number of workers often far ezceeda
the demand for their services, neces
sity compels men to resort to unusual
methods of earning money. Yankee In
genuity Is generally equal to almost
auy emergency, snd that Is what led a
Connecticut man to discover that a sup
iKtsedly worthless flsh which Is com-
own la Long Island Bound la valuable
gg se as fertiliser. The oil obtained
Iskea has grnmsMlgJeTtiyts.
The fish closely ressmbles black baja
In appearancs, but Is unfit for eating,
owing to the number of bonee It pos
sesses. That Is why It Is called "bony
Hsb," and hundrede of tons of these salt
water fish are caught and sold every
season, furnlahlns pmnlnvm.nt in
jpoiaulia, sa the -'hi. Tribune. I oh
nest fishing grounde ara at New Lon
dn. Conn., and It Is an Interesting sight
.for pereons from all parts of ths coun
try to watch the steam shovel scoop the
nab out.ox tt Jter by
ANHUKW i HIM...II. MM a tale about
taking a (Ir-ruun ftnanrUr trllina iu
Am.r .-a oo vult la Niagara Falls,
esj. m)Di..nHiiT. sea ask isjsd u "itimrau of
nntrmiml auj rntlnMioi. saa not a littl. about?'
aloimtd to .ee tii leuumir frten.l at.nit tod
faa. .tululjf in..! i alter BaSUIS 'Uoao tn.i ro'
lug ostsrsal without . ms "a famtaat amotuia.
finallj. ItSS blS, a. hs ailailU, nj 1-iuf.r t i
eoncMl hit itusrln and ilUBpnlSlgtSSli Sir. far
Ml- turnl U) liia DOMSSjSS and aakad
"Ihm't you think tuat'a a WOSSSTfal alfhtf"
"Votl" aaaed Iks Ostaaas,
"W.tj. tlul ilillltr1 hodf of watar pourlaf o.rr
ttiat Voll praonoa."
Tbjf geotl'-man from " . . ir. t .. 1 fr a
fa woud. .aig.r. then looked 041 tlabillr auu
' wll. Vat'a t titniler 111" ln Aafalsj
''M r." a-rites: "There Is a young
man whose appearance. I like very
niu.'h, hot I have not had th pleasure
of meeting hlin. How nuuy 1 bring thla
The only proper way la to permit
..me mutual friend to IntroJuce the
young man to you.
Il,TOM LAfKA YE, the ac(Tr, onna male
a tnmatlaat.ua ol "Laa MuMmhira." Ha
ba.1 ateat mueh time cm aia work. The
"M. P." wiltea: "What la the beat
way for a girl to ahow a young rn in
who la calling on her snd lii very milrh
devoted that ahn wlalies he should cease
!he aho.ilil tell him, tactly bit frank
ly, her wlahea. If she la alnceiely In
aarnegl ami he I a gentleman lie will
d lUbtlSSI goespl his dta nlaaal gra 'e-fully.
"I. A " writes: "Whst kind of fiot-
ks atii milsein ass BSg 1 r 14 suuable for my siSla. s evefteOf Isltsg.
ereddlni re eptlonl MUSI It match the
dreas. Willi h la pale blue?"
Vo mi ssssrily. Willi blsok sr white
allk ato.'klnira, with n npi to niute.i.
woulu .it- appj ojm Lala
"It. H" writes: "When walk'ng out
with two ladlea la It pi pel f W tlo
gentleman tu walk bajtWSSD the two or
on the outi'.de?"
"J. DeV." wrltea: "A young man haa
rSOMtly PsM me a good 1I1 il of atten
tion, ftlthOilgh 1 know I lit t he con
tinues to call on another young lady,
But he ;rsr to like me very much
am) I like hlin. la It wrong for me to
go out with hlin."'
I think nit. unle.a he ta engaged 'n
the other young lady.
"II. M " rltea: "If a i-i lad
returna home from her tfgtstlon gnd
the yOUnfl man SOBtlAUSI lila ata', who 1
should write first, the g'.rl or the man?" j
The usual pr x i dure, la for the m in
to auk the glrl'a permission to write
her. Than lie naturally st-nda th first
All Sounded Alike.
iAM BK.M.VBTT u acting iir aditor of Ota
11 i f ..1- 'if tl.r . w Tojtj e
Rra ajaj - nertitn, jnat hef fa pwaa
UiM, a bul latin rMM in aa)nitf 4Vtariea H-'tmali
h t Ih 1. ic 1 le I'llrtdllll 'f tin MtMl Tnwt at a
iiiiry of II.UIO.Mi a fmr n . ? radiKed tt
Ui a tf agrai'h, rtt a Hn Wad rr It aifl
MMf pt0, Wht-u tit reguJar
city ilitr oaJM t a !- tMOfl I a fit.
I ,j ' I. miii"' hr ti'jiisftl. "VVhr didn't
fO MMM Utgl Hon "Il "" Ifcg (Lrat ga. with
a lig head on it r I . t uni knu tit a fouug
man grt'i a aalary ot f 1 .uui'.fjiJU a er tuahaa
It. ej," mU4 Ham. "fter It gU ahnea 140 a
pajaaj i. U e if l aHkv u. ui.
I'bji Ma ti c rwk lif-iiuett'a aalary araa ralat-d
111 iffd tj Kvr' ing I ml.
LIVll.r. Viiv eefen Team old, i i.t'r
a -id la pnraL mcUj and baarln
nmtn ru g, HaKeit oyiHIlt aul t 1HM,
llrr MDtlHV Sr" 9$nhi ibotll th rhiUlmi with
w .iu Virginig ;- aul ua tu ktiuw a i aUiut
I .ni bgfuri In nnar U iwraMltad. Tba t!r
ftg v rgla hd . w . anana ohlhtten.
'Wl.a' .'d i'lien T" t in .ft
Mm ai Uadd J' it MM i-- 'tilldrw that t4
jut. muted kl to the iMigi(rl.xJ.
Hi-. i I UK.u.tfr. ")bu aatiW I ha 'hl
fun MM ptol VtUi t'liltdnui uiiiraa I kit ' thru
god M Ml 1 ' l Mil anone kDinrng
Hut, BDUvgffi t'"' are pgrfajftal iulluri-1 f.J
n in d "
How do MU now thev ar- fulturwl a d r
fluarir" aakMi (!' ii. i. .he? anniaed
Wall, tii hare tu at,utitMll la that
fcU.'msa.pju - hi . au.ali utw a ut 4-'iuis.
it opyrlgtit, 1012. I'T th 'hi'lng PuhHahtng On.)
STNOPId OF 'BECfclH M1 lXTaU.Mr.VTft
"liiT 1" an flutlaai fWelng from htette,
f'"i' hr-t i- n i a !timi nf Ixithea with a rifle,
nn thi ther akka ot tit bueaw He Allrti, lb
- if- ff ttf r.'Kst i V"' i v and hi tUiMiti ara
h-inting him. In Bottom" hate Allea and
igaiaa now to t)v aim r m amjuh. Aa kat
creeta tn do ao ha la checked t-v t Iw litaHng of a
r-fleanak tttat la ml-ed .'ire- ti m front of him
He ranot -1 nlthtnit r -t. It fun, Hu
li" ' niirhea there In lmiitent raa while the two
..' ritatiiea the aear h for h m W t a
aranlng adiitar, whati omered "Vn Ihiitom '
will flghl or tmii.u tirren.ter. Allen 'elafa t
outlaw rank aaiMfi. TTia flat gal mnw
awav "1tt Baittnen In Ntf g' U Um
rwiiiae, i- ho hnilallr nrtera " whrrtff'a wlfa
to glee him anmrtht'ig to at. Wnfle hr It ealtng
hm fimla that AMm's little m ta In tU ntt
room eery til The hoy aka "Oh H tt .m' If
' 1 fatth Alia hom t . hlia or gu ( r
The Man on the Rldffp.
IK man halted, atan.llng In
the centre of the kltrhen,
grim i ti. a coming Into his
"I iwhnn vou want the Dry
llottom dor-tor. ma'am?" he
The woman rose from beslds the
tied, her eyes gleaming hopefully, nhe
came aa far as the door and steadied
herarlf against the jamhs. looking at
ths man, searching hla fans with anx
ious eves. A ihsdow rrcard her fare
presently, her eves dropped away from
his, she relaxed and leaned disappoint
edly against the door Jamb crushed
over the hsrd expression thst shs hail
seen In the man's eyee.
"f course you can't do anything."
she anld. dully, hopelessly. "You Won't
do anything. I should have known
The man's thoughts went rapidly
hack In the roc.k-create.1 summit of
the ridge I.vlnr In the thicket he had
heir.l Allen toll h'a deputy thai he had
appointed two men of Dry llottom to
tike hlin BhouU he return there. Ho
knew the tw i men: he had little douht
that they would carry out their orders
to the letter.
Il.inkllng In hla heart waa a reeol
I Oct tH of the epithet "roward" that
Allen hsd applied to htm as he had
lain rrmi-ealed In the thl'-ket Ilia lips
tw.ated v. .num. ni.lv. his eyes lighted,
with the old wolfish. Ironic gleam.
The woman saw and turned her head,
leaning against the door-amb shud
dering. For a long time she reatsd
there, waiting for the sounds which
would t'll her of the man's departure.
And then suddenly she heard his voice
You got a pen'il an' a plsre of
psper?" lae iueetloned.
Hlin procured these for him nrnl placed
them upon the table. The man seateal
himself and wrote. Then he arose and
el rode rapidly to ths door.
"When your huaband comes give him
llrat," he commanded.
Hhe heard the whlsi of hla apure ae
he went out and ahn sank Into a chair
beside the table, aait.blng softly A few
minutes later she caught the sound of
rapid honfbeate. The man had de
parted. Al duak on the following day Allen
atood on the threshold of the open door
way of the cabin reading a brief note
which the man had left. The woman
etnod beside him. looking at him with
wide, moist eyee while he read.
Hen Allen"-rend the note "Thle
mornln I wus on the rMge an I hearn yu
tel yore deputln that I wui a coward.
I was goln to ehoot yu but a rattler mt
In the way. I reckon yu heard him
DUSStn. Later I cum to yore aha k.
Yorn boy wux alck an needed a doctor
mighty bad There wusnt anylmly to
send for a doctor an yu wui too 'ar
away for yore wife to go. 1 had my
r hnn at to git even. Hut I ain't glttln
even with women an Mga 1m goln 'or
the Drv llottom doctor. If I git p't
"l..m Miller an Ifly Andrews Im
blttln th i breexe to Trinidad If VU
think In V coward cum there for me.
"the man who wux on the ridge
For a moment Allen looked nut over
th. basin, where the shadows of the
night were lengthening. The summit
of the ridge st 1 out cleer and som
bre above the shadows Allen shud
dered. Then he turned to th" women
end drew her to him, holding her
the ridge, which waa now aimoel In-
Vlalble In the darkness.
"I reckon he wasn't so much of
coward." hs said, a user catch In his
Ttie woman emtled up at him through
the tears In her eyea.
"Are you going to Trinidad after
Allen looked gravely down at her.
Sumo plerea of torn paper slowly But
tered from his hands
Did he get the doctor?" he ques
Without replying the woman selsel
him by the arm and led him lu the
door of the room that aatlolne.l the
kit hen The hoy waa propped up In
bet. his eyee vary lumtnoue In th
'Hello, dad'" he shrilled. "I'm a
heap hetter. To-morrow I'm goln' to
get up "
Allen's arms were gripped tlghilv
shout the woman. Presently lie held
her away from him and l.ioked at he
alth grim, steady eyes.
"You must have heard from the doc
tor," he said slowly. "it. I he get
"Oean," ahe returned, amlllng grave
ly up al U8L "C!em IRIIer sr-of
In the shoulder-but not had; and Lefty
Andrewe had a leg broken with a bul
let. The doctor eald he never saw a
man shoot so fast."
tiled leo4 out.ioiou.h Us door st
YINO flat on his back ha as
thicket of iueeiu;te. hie bead
pillowed on hla aaddle. Mex
ico Lcnehun gsaed drowsily
st a riigited line of timber -
dotted hills that rose somberly Into ths
swimming sunlight. They were sen
tinels that tnsrkud the course of the
Ulla RiVer, twenty mil. a away. Mexico
had gued long at them, for an hour
he had lain In thu meaqulte thicket,
thinking aa only u. mnn can think who
has hesn out In the world and found
II an snetayt He perceived a certain
dim analogy between the frowning,
solemn hills and his own life -he felt
aa the h.lla looked.
In ths first place there waa fate. Queer
thing, was fate, viewed through Mex
ico's eyss. Apparnntly It haul conspired
against him from the beginning. It had
given him a name that suggested hla
mixed blood. It had brought him Into
the world through the knetrumeniallty
of an Itinerant outta. who haat auc
ceeilsd in making a reputation that ex
tended throughout the Terrltv.y. It had
nurtured htm at the breast f a Mexican
woman who. within a year after Ms
lilrth, had succeeded In drinking herself
I. i death. Thus had hops for Mexico
died early In lUSjj thus was ha predis
posed to crime.
Yet for Ihe full twenty-six years of
Itla life had lie succeeded In mocking
fate: hud succeeded In walking the
straight und nsrrow path.
only once had he been In danger of
straying from It, and that was when
during ths ruurss of an uproarious
evening In the Top Vrt.-h Saloon, In
Hllver OMy, a foolish cowpuncher had
taunted him concerning his birth. They
carried the foolish puncher out en a
shuttrr. and a doctor worked aM night
over him, extracting the bullet (or
Mexico had uaeaj hla gun when ths
puncher had forgotten all about the
ronveraellnn. For a time things looked
bad for Mexico, but the puncher recov
ered -snd Mexico got back Into ths
strilght and narrow path again.
Mexico was thinking of this IncMeat
now along with many other things. Al
ways had the world treated him shsb
blly. Dut he hsd taken the treatment
grimly, auflerlug ths humiliation of tow
birth, rralatlng the drag of evil desires,
hnMlug a stern check upon himself be
cause be auae of the Fear.
often, without sucreee, hsd hs sl
tempted to enalyae ths aeneatlon, thle
thing that held him bach from hie In
clinations Latterly he had come to
believe It Inherent a thing belonging
to hie progenitors; a euree of Ihe flesh
th.it made hla body s great, hulking
anchor upon hla mind. Ha knew thla
cures could not have come from hie
father; the outlaw Lenehan had been
feared and respected because of a
curtain reckless daring and courage
that had slwsys marked hla operatlona
In the Territory.
That he had come by It through his
mother ha doubted not. He knew the
Mexican character. Ha knew ths slink
ing, stealthy, eneaklng chill that tuld
of hta own cowardice: he felt the
mark of It on hla face whenever dan
ger confronted him; he fell It In his
heart, he felt It In the cold tingles
that renched from his brain to hln
hsS Is- gripping him snd paralysing his
muscles and clouding his thoughts. H
wsa a thing that made him weak and
vacillating; made him cringe whsn fac
ing a brave man. made him yearn to
strike In the dark.
Something of thle paealon gripped
him now aa he lay In the mesqulta
thicket gal lug at ths somber hills of
Hi - QilaV flomethlng of the hate and
the murder-lust of hla progenitors
moved his lips from hie teeth snd
i-auaerl him to sneer at ths shadows
of the hills. Tet hs did not yield to
II. for hs knew It waa ths Mexlcsn
blood. If h had wished to revenge
himself, why had he not dono eo whsn
the Insult had been offered him?
Hud-ain the manager of the T Down
ranch, had discharged him- had not
only discharged him but had booted
him out of the door of the ranchhoues.
And Mexico's gun had reposed In Its
holster! Why had he not used It?
Why? ("ertslnly oot because oppor
tunity had lacked. Hudson had etool
lu the ranehhOUSe door, hla srms folded
over his chest, aa hs watched Mexico
erasable to his feet. Ills hands had
been nowhere nrar his guns; Mexico
could have replied to the Insult with
tit a own weapon. Why had hs not dons
go? IlJ lenr.x. Huajnn had known.
Hudson had laughed grimly ss Mexico
had got to hie feet, snd had jeered
hlin aa he alunk away to rope hla pony
In the corral. It bad been the Fear.
vTo-JBs Qpgdaiusaj . .
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