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The Evening World Daily Magazine, Saturday, October 5 , 19 11
By Maurice Ketten
tr T Pm HuhlMtas OB.
riw Slew Tort WotM.)
KSTABI.I3HFJD T1Y JORBPH PUMTZKH
Dally Except Sunday by the Frees Publishing Company, Nos. II to
J l urk Itnw. New York.
RALPH Pt'LlTZRB. President, S Put Ttow.
J. ANQIT8 HI LAW, Treasurer. I Psrs Row.
JOmBnil frUTZHn. Jr., Becretsry, S3 Perk Row.
- . "i" i--'rrr -,-,-iCi 1 iiii)viryiMnMMB . ruri i mi -inra-.Ja
Bntered at the Post-Offlre at New York a Beeond-Clsss Mattar.
Rate to The Kvenlng
Kor Knglsnd and the Continent and
'aria for tha United luiu
All Countrle In the International
Ona Tear tt.TI
one Month tl
, I. sn
X0,J BE ftPsAve I ongy Bills EEKl 1 "fooTM Pullihg- 5f$T1
Amd FCarlg 1 w.u.ee People pc- a I
ipS REAL PLAbuRe I
icH l ' HF&,as
MR. MORGAN'S TESTIMONY.
wtmtmr t 10 tm than it !?., and M tMii
J Mm aorc .Midmcti m ttliesemr Nth mi. from
Mm null M take, mmv mi ttMt Ih HH. Mat.xitl., 12.
WHAT AILS THE LAWYERS?
THE man who put into his will a plain warning to Ml lifirs to
beware of probate judges and attorney was dovtrUttf only
getting his revenge for bitter DMlnOfies of hi own. "My
pematul experience," the will read, "in denims eOClaJ and otherwise
with lawyers has been extensive, mid careful oliervation in other in
stancrs has convinci. me that they are all dangerous orooka, only
diagniaed, and expressly educated and trained to obtain one's confi
dence in order that they may defraud and roh with impunity."
Such savage generalization is merely piquant. Yet why should
K fe true, as it undoubtedly is. that lawyers are unpopular more so
than any otfher Haas of professional men? Doctors and lawyers both
to a peculiar degree enter into close confidential relation with their
chests. So far as motive, character, puhlic esteem are concerned,
doctors stand high. Lawyers, on the other hand, have much to wish
for in the matter of standing and repute. Is it becaune their chances
of profit and reward are more subtle, more tempting, more equ.TOOaJ :
We rmile to-day at some of the mediaeval thrusts at lawyers
at when Shakespeare makes Henry VI. say, "The first thing we
da, lev" s kill all the lawyer," or when Peter the (.real on being told
the meaning of the swarms of black gowns and (lowing wigs in Wcpt
ndneter Hall exclaims in astonishment, "Lawyers 1 why I have hut
two in my whole dominions and I believe 1 shall hang one of them
the moment 1 get home."' Vet Who, amid present day events, could
repeat with conviction the words of Webster: "An eminent lawyer
cannot be a dishonext man. Tell me a man is dishonest and I will
aaawer he is no lawyer. He cannot 1m-, because he is careless and
reckless of justice. The law is uot in his heart, is nol the standa.-'i
aad rule of his conduct."
Can the profession stand that (est?
NO LESSONS ?
THE blame for the railway disaster at MYstport is likely lo
rest with tihe dead engineer who took a crossover at high
peed despite signals set to warn him. The official report
of the railway officials will hardly go further.
But does that end it until the next disaster?
Are there no leseons from this latest wreck, no cumulative evi
dence punting toward possible improvements and safeguards?
Granted that while human eye, brain and hand are part of the
I onanism the "human equation" is always to be reckoned with.
Would two alert engineers, equally responsible, on every engine lessen
too likelihood of error?
This time the heavy Pullman coaches usually the safest because
of their more solid const nu t ion got the worst of it and were
splintered and burnt to scrap iron. Would steel cars have suffered
Along the whole train fire burst out almost instantly after the
h from the explosion of the Pintrcli gas tanks. Cannot all trains
be lighted with electricity?
With fireproof steel cars, more flexible, more likelv to crush
without splintering, might not passengers, even though injured and
imprisoned, have escaped the horrors of slow cremation?
Are there no lessons?
H i 12 TSf2
All You U HAveloDo
'a CUT Coupons
This, will Be
FRriM T&P oF
YOUR HAT WILL BE RETURNED
You'll ee A&LeTo Breathe
Ooerrlght. 1013. b Tb. rrtM rubiiikioi re.
Letters from the People
Ta lrvaat lllwewa.
r at TtM Krmloi Wort J
vast of tba adoption ot the
on that the public arnnoia De
aa polUnc placaa at the oomlrni
slsrtloa and aa meeting plarea for She
of the Iiiuh of tin- eani-
It ta to be hoped. In the Interest a
of aha ehlldren who attend the chnola.
that jnaaturee wUI be taken to dim
inish tha risk of Infection which mum
always be preaent In place of public
raaort.. It may l taken as unite cer
eals that anions the tliouaundx who nil)
tbrana the at hoola for cither of the pur
JSeess mentioned above a oonildiTabU'
parti on will ba affected, ff not with
dangerou dlseaaen, notably consump
tion, with minor alltnenta auoh ae
catarrh, lnfluvnia Ail. Tha syatemotlc
dlalnfei'tlon of aihool rooma, advo
cated In a paper read ut the recent In
ternational Conarea n livglene and
iKviiMKraphy at Waalilticton, Is at all
time! un Important auiiltarv measure,
Oil h will become doubly lo If theae
rooma are to lie need aa places of mla
OaUaaSSeS PUMM rea irt. It would lie a
staspis and lasapsnalifs matter lo laray
the Mnora with un eftlcS-nt disinfectant
ulutloii at the cluao of each innrtlnK
And It la to be hoped thut the authnrltlca
will sea that thl precaution Is nut
omitted. J. T. 1 Naw ilB WALK Mil,
aiontclalr, N. J.
BaBaaw aw-aaaaat tjekaaaaaaw w m am i
Mr. Jarr Witnesses the Breaking
Of a Fiery, Untamed Bachelor
n. JAUH auw the caller waa
really the expat-tad vlallor. Jack
Bllver, the only bachelor In the
Jarr acquaintance able to take a wife
and support her In the stylo tha (Irl of
to-day hopea for.
"You're a little late." aald Kr. Jarr.
'What's tha difference," replied tha
polled latchelor. "They'll wait for me,
won't they? Well, where are the Phila
delphia spring shtSfcSBOt"
"They're In the parlor gottlng their
paltna read hy IHnkstou, who last drop
pad In," explains! Mr. Jarr. "We're to
wait a minute till they are through."
"We're to wall n minute till they are
through, eh?" replied Jn '.i Silver.
"WhaS do you think I tin' An actor
'at liberty,' canniug in the ante-room
Of a theatrical maKiiate?''
"Why. no." aald Mr. Jar-, "but they
aald Just to wait n minute."
I "Not me!" anl.l the bachulor teatlly,
and he began to tug on Ills BMIOJf yel
low gloves and adjust hla purple cravat
with tha atar aapphlra stickpin.
There waa some "claao" to Jaok Sil
ver, lie waa a natty dreaaar and didn't
car how much monev ha apent. HE
"Now. don't be huffy, I'll aee about
It," aald Mr. Jarr.
Me huffy? The Idea!" tried the or
nate bachelor. "No, old ha;, I really
Juat dropped In for a moment. Cltva my
reepecita to the ladles and tell them I
a-ae so a)rry I could not wait, hut a
aome little while. "Borne fellows would
feel ior aliout It. But I don't car. "'
"Oh. they didn't mean thay weren't
anxious and eager to aea you, you
know." expostulated Mr. Jarr. "They
Juat said, 'Have Mr. Silver wait a min
ute.' T think they really wantsd to get
rl 1 of rankston."
"It'a aay no more about It." replied
dashing Jack MlVSV in the tons a man
uses when he la dying to tell you all
about hla domestic troublsa. "Rut
hut" and Mr. Jarr stood aghast to see
a tsar, a real t. on the oheek of the
very Important engagement called ma hardened bachelor
'Til go with you." said Mr. Jarr.
He felt he might as well he killed for
an old sheep as a lamb. He'd he blamed
for the guest of honor escaping, any
way. They walked down the street together,
Mr. Sliver Inwitnliy chagrined but airily
pretending life wua gay ami sweat to
"Come In lus' and have something,"
suggoeted Mr. Jarr.
"A corner saloon?" replied hla friend.
.Yly dear follow I never go In them.
Come to my club. We have Scotch we
Import ouraelvet. It'a wonderful"'
"Yon '.)ine In here with me snd we'll
lure Scotch fJKlS in ikea hlmeelf. You'll
tlnd It oven more wonderful," said Mr.
"Understand, I don"t care a bit. not a
bit!" said Mr. fllver, making a dna
trt the telltale tear with his handker
chief. "But my feelings are hurt."
Mr. Jarr did not venture to aak him
how hla feelings could be hurt to tha
point of tears If he cared no whit Mr
Jarr only patted him on tha back and
"They didn't mean It, I know they
didn't mean It!"
"I'm welcome everywhere," anlfflrd
the bachelor. "Mr!e write me notes,
call me up on the telephone, beg ms to
come to see them! Girls' mothers chase
ine Into corners and tell me what sMOli
did housekeeper their daughters arc
and what a furote their musical talents
create and to be asked to wait while
ninkston-that mutative tramp hell
"Of course. I don't care a whit," aald their hand. S.tv, what aort of looking
Mr. Sliver, after they had been In fHa's girls ars they? WhaXcha fnlng to
"They're pea-hes'." raid Mr Jarr.
"I always admired Philadelphia srlrln."
"aid Mr. Sliver. "They're so Independ
ent. I guess that's because tho Declara
tion of Independence was .aned In
Philadelphia. They've got some self-re.
alleot. they hsve! They're not like these
Now York girVa. -browing themselves at
the heads of every man that comes
along. By Jove! I admire them for It."
""lad to hear you aay so," sa!d Mr.
Jsrr, wondering whether It waa the lolt
la his self-esteem or Gua's truly ,von
derful Scoirh that wai working this
change In the erstwhile conceited bach
elor. "I'm glad I had this little talk with
you," continued dashing Juck Silver.
"It shows my churaetci . It shows how
I admire girls that make a mnn, no
matter who that man I", keep h!s place.
They were occupied and they made
even Ml' wait IHnkaton IS a smart fel
low. He may bo down and out, but
don't that prove those Phllxdelphla girls
are considerate of the poor fellow's feqj
ngs? I" .n't It show t!icv respect brains
moro than money? I'm doing rlirht
back With you and tell them how I ad
mire glr' of their sort.
And back they started.
"Oua," said Mr. Jarr as they were
leaving. "I want to lend a bottle of that
Scotch of yours to my mother-in-law In
(Tha Mra fst WsiUl.
M nothlni really funny happ.ne.1 since Adsni carved rne nrsi ra
ft bout live on Plymouth Bock'.'" afhed the P.lb.
"Nothlns quite so funny as Eve, perhaps," suagsta4
Mere Man. "But why "
"Because," Interrupted the Bib, tossing the comic ahest
.i.. n,nf.in, has blue satin toes saucily on the
iirr. e aiiiaiurnw; ...... - - - - . .
,, , ,.thin ,i, i tat few hundred years except tne
. r r j l : u ii a o viiii.t ,,...... .
rlsge laws and the atylea In Jokes. I'm simply ptnltisT for a STood. hearty
But It s not within tha power of human nature to o on laughing any
at pictures of old maids with side curls, and henpecked Ihusbands loaded
with bundiles. and trembllna suitors, and Irate papa, and wives going wu
their sleeping husbands' pookets especially when you know these fWlrajrs
even exist any more."
"Was not'" ouerled the Mere Man in mock surprise. "If those pictures
Hood enough for your grandfather to Hugh at, aren't triey good enough for jeer"
"MY grandfather " repeated rhe Bib scornfully. "Why. Adam painted tha
orirlnala of those cartoon on a flar-lfaf, Mr. Cutting. It has been
rear. n, p nlil nialda wore side curls ami spectacles. Side curls Ihave 1
of fashion so long that that they're coming In again. But they are the apodal
hall-mark of debutantea and ahowglrle. not of old mold. Old masds. 1f hhof1
were any, would sleek their hair primly and neatly under a coronet broHHc.:
there aren't any, any mors." ami
"No," sighed the Mere Man regretfully. "They're all suffragettes, or haohton,
girls, or affinities." Isi-ej
"And there," declared the Bib with a cynical shrug. "Is snorher dear. u:
old master" that hss been preserved to us. The uffroaette In a fedora then
stiff collar, rubber boots and goggles. She went out of actual exsstenco asVn'l
with Belva Lockwood; hut her spirit still remains with us In the comic tsaeVjok
If a suffragette actually lckel like that, rhe "Cause" would have been a SVaa
laoue long mgo. Wkjr, I go to suffrage meetings myself " dad
"What!" cried the Mere Mnn In horror.
"Juat to gat points on the latest fads from Paris." explained MM Jfcito
hastily. "Most of the prominent suffraeettes are either actresses or oatse"
women, you know: and 1f the sight -f them makes the angels weep It Is w(t
BNVY! But there! There 1s whole Hall of Fame dedicated to USO MjfleB
"On your rlarht as you enter you will observe the antique group, entMsW
The KnrageJ Papa' In other words, the classic picture of the Irate old gssatlea
man 1n the act of booting his daughter's sulUir out of the front door. Think
of It! With husbands as scarce as hen's teeth or Chippendale, this unnatural
parent INSISTS on kloklng a perfectly good young man wirh an offer of mar
riage out of the door. Instead of falling on his neck with tears of grarltuda, and
telephoning fr the deriryman before he cn escape! Quaint oM Papa'"
"But we Ml ST preserve SOMK Illusions!" protested the Mere Man "We
MIST keep up some of the old traditions, euoh aa Santa C!aua. and reluctant
maidens, and "
"Well, they're all preserved, pickled, and embalmed In he comic sheafs'"
returned Hie Bib, consolingly. "There you will find poor, hrow-boatnn hus
bands laden with parcels and packages, tasffins after their wives: and flar e
looking wives grasping rolling pins, waiting behind the door ft.r their wander
ing hualiands. For at least twenty years the shops have been delivering every
thlnr, from a paper of needles to a toothbrush or a plajio. rlht at your front
door: and If the modern husband were n i carry so much as a pound of
tea In i brown paper hag his growls 0 uld le heard for miles. s
"But that slight fact never hampers the humorlnt. It dMSB'l even seem to
occur to hltn that the average modern woman wouldn't know wharg to find a
roiling pin. even If she had one; and that so fur Is she from waiting up for her
husband that she usually pins a note on the newel poat telling him to take off
his shoes uml come upstairs as quietly as possible, so a. not to awaken her.
After a hard morning of shopping, a hard afternoon at the cjub and a hard
evening at bridge, no w.vman has the strength loft to sit up and p'ay 'ligtht-ln-she
window' for an erring husband nowadays."
"Alas!" sighed the Mere Men. "The good old tiins have (led. Wives no
longiT keep tabs on their husbands: mothers-in-law no longer visit their aons-In-law;
nursery maids no longer flirt with park policemen, .mil lone mald"-.i
lodlea no longer look under the bod for burglars. I2ven WOMAN, the great
orlK'nal Joke, Is no longr funny, or refreshing, or cute, or llOiloalH
"And that's the whtde secret Of It!" declared the Bib tr.igio.idly. "Man has
always taken 'himself seriously: and now that he's begun ta take Wonsx
seriously, TOO "
"But we haven't'" protested the Mere Man vehemently.
"Mi, yea. you have," sighed the Bib. "You think yiu iiaven't but sen
'IAVK and of course there's nothing left to Joke about"'
"or to love, nor to chorlsh. nor to pet." added the Mtre Man MdHy.
"No," agreed the Uib. with a little hrug. "There" nothing to A NY THIN fl
nowadays not ever, to being a woman I wish 1 were an Angora Wttesi!"
,awawaa.----- 1 --ininnirw wwssa. J,
The Folks That
Write Our Books
DBEBT HALIFAX, who writes
novels of London low society,
declarea that inspiration,
"love your work" and regular
method theories ore all hum-
Writing, he insists, Is plain
drudgery and the only glow cornea with
the rewards of success.
Beatrice H.irraden, whose "K.ilpj That
Pass in the Niht" was amid up to nearly
a million coping, has Juat preaented
another odd study of life called "Out of
the Wreck I Blae." She 1a the daughter
of a musician and was lorn In London in
1MI, her mother bcinir a Spanish woinun.
Even as a chil l she tried to write short
In real life, that Richard. Dehan w"ho
wrote "(jnc Braver Thing" and has now i that
published "Between Two Th.eves," la
Mlaa Clotilda (i raves. She la the
daughter of a major In the F.lgliteent li
Royal Irish Iteglment.
Mark I.ee L.r.her, author of the mtich
PfalsSd hew novel, "T.io Woman of It."
Is llih editor of the Smart Act Maalne.
He has barely turmvl hU fortloth year.
Warwick Ieolrig. the Kugllsh novelist,
practiced medlc'ne before taking up the
ncn. He declares h!mse4r grateful to hla
parenta for perfect health and ta hi
wife for a quiet and pleasant comer In
is r sally
Josephine Preston Peabody
Mm. Lionel Murks.
Clara lxiule.) Burnham says that the
artist's studio des"rlbrd so attractive!
In her new novel. "The Inner Flame"
Is taken from a real tudlo cleverly, de
vised uy an artist and a'-tor from an
old chicken house, and sswirsly naoMd
the "Villa Chanteetwr."
Agnes C Laut has hi come a wosgan
farmer. She Is fencing and dasaaJoajng
s four-hundred-acre estate at Ml. Wigs
Mra. Eleanor II. Porter denies BJsat
She Is the "Miss Hilly" of hsr earn
piquant romance. Khe a Imlls. hswssssr.
most of "Billy NellsonV saosa
have never !wen offered to a music VSib-
Uaticr, 'bin lav hidden jiv q sn oM
rausVa eablaet in the authors horns.
"Iame Curtsey," author of Tartans
In.iks) of games, rticlftsa and other nast
ters, noon SShlah hostesses have learned
to rely, la Mra. H.tllbr.iok, formerly
Dtlyt Howell (Hover. She t an Ohtsmn
bv Uirtiti and a staff contributor So the
How to Tell the Rank of Officers of the Visiting Fleet
.a. I I Hi I
NAVAU CON1TRCX.TOR, CtMQmKBJt'KAHlCrComi. ftf
XgnnSaW aaaasssssaallt nam a II I I f at
machinist CePatN-rtJxat ssuavoc fMtTH luaRMeVW5 M WU$tbjtarms Bt)wswUM5 tmn 'NWtM&nm Gunners mats
7Ms3av7sa0 HV4 a iTFS.lP.
fomZlR 3t CAh.?jS VsAS 1
bKA,MA.N aotMtR CHIEF VCOMeVrVl APOTH6CAR.Y, VV lTsUJs,t. TU.
7URBHT CAP'T. HOT) PITA L CH. fatMI MMMf Kk.&CTrXlClsVt ,Mlfa Cook
Siawsww j BSJ QSlT tasvax.-hc.sl
Two Unlud ttatss Navy Is mobilising In the North River. New York for the next few days will bo full of navsl men of svsry grads, from seaman to admiral. Their rank is Indicated by ctitvrena en the arm er by Inslgnls en cellar or s houlderstrap. Tha accompanying
ttsJII enable yen to tell at a glance the branch of the service and the rank of the cfflcsrs yen eee In tewn. . i . u - , 4