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at THE EVENING WORLD, SATURDAY, JANUARY I, 1913. New York's Affidavits w II. I you step Into UM bar room? The privilege Of Hid Alimony Club ro yours ' tt Mt Theodore linli. i t, the Mil Lnnt, n . ,. i i-n. i IB. I , i ..... -w nuui, laming. ;i, ii. i I HUH M P apartments In the Alimony (iuh 111 I the Hsrhnrger Building In l.udlow street th day before. Somen me 1MB undhrnlfy the hospitable Indginnt hnus" af aThrrlff llarhurger by the mtm of Ihe laid mv Street Ml There Is no 'counting for tte. The barroom wn a room with per- I pennicuur nr Tries were Just a good anv to i ninn who had made New Tear resolutions. Mr. Roberts I had mads the resolution. For six rronMis ha la on the watei wjtin. He la taking the llarhisrger cure. I woma take yon up to my rooms, j Mr. Roberta continued, "hut my nun is i out thla afternoon making necessary purohaaes nnil I'm a frail the apartment la hardly presentable." Mr. Huberts a application for member ship to the exclusive Ludlow street All' itiony Huh nil signed hy h:a wife "ne ha to be vo iched for to get Into Mia club. It'a like going Into the F.sgles ! Vt helonglng fa Tmtinuny-something like tt. Mrs Roberts haa been VO y kin I l her aetor and playwright husband, .-'lie took rare of all hla money, and now whan ha haen t any more money aha baa provided a home for him at .the Alamony Club. It'a vary pleasant here." a.tld the new member or the club. The mem hara af the club ara a delightful lot of fellow and they gave ma a royal wel come laat night. V had music and singing", played cards, cheaa and check em, Oane Johnson, tha Warden ar. I should amy tba manager of tha club la extremely hoapltable. He sing wall, toe. If a man wan tad to laave hera. 'Sena wouldn't hear of It. He aimply wouldn't lat blm ar. I had to complain thla morning af ray bath. I Ilk a hot bath In tha morning and the tempera ture at the water waa a little low. He Beared Jamea, my man, that there weald he no complaint In tba future. "It la ssrsromily quiet bar, a you moat have noticed. It nearer gate nolay, I have heart aeaurad. I Ilka iulet I love the raTihrht and I like to write by i he Mgjht of tallow eandla at time, invtead ef tha ejectrle light last night 1 had a. cindle A strange thing hap liened. I don't bed eve In ghost. I have little faith In dream, and I have never been sarong on eplrttualtem. But I leave I: to yen to make what you can out f thla eoourrence. "I had bean reading In my eaar chair by the aoft oendl light. I read until I felt drowey, then blew out the light vou can't Imagine the senaatlon of owing out the light of a candle. It brought memoriae of camping nut, of a erode but delicti tfu I hotel In a pretty mountain fkatnra. of a night on hoard my yacht. I stood In my hare feet on the aoft Peralan rug looking out through an aperture through which atreamed the raye of an electrlu lamp on the atreot Hut for the electrlo light I could have Imagined myaelf a thouaand miles away Would Sulzer Disappoint Constituents? FBI KBODRICX mooke. ueamted 1'eKln. Prena CM respondent at ho bag J1:t arrived li Maw York f om Constantinople, where he ' 'cov ered " the Bulgarian war, told a good tory on 1ov Puller at the Ixitoa f'lub, whore he la staying for a few day until t.e atarts for Ohlua, Bark In Stiller' erl" f nnjre-nat lay Moore was a Washington eorrea uondent and waa waltlnc for an lnter- ., in one uv nm W VVnm the nepreaentatlvea' chamber and greet two New Vork conatltuenta. "Howdy boya." ea!d '''ongraasman Bill The o" were p'eaaed. Bill." aald one, "there !nn't erm t he anything doing and we gutter g l away. Wheu're yuh e"ln' to apeak?" Bill allowed there waa a rather dull jo'aeion, "That's tounh luck." aald the eecnnd constituent, "we Just wanted to hear wiu make a pi h." Suiter pulled 'i!s forelock until a tuought came lie produced ticket for the special gallery. "Vou go uP there1 said Bill, ";ind I'll make a apeeen. The 8rea'er wl Inlawing mnaulaf spre Relatione, which sera passed erlth n f V The custn.narv ! 'oil., t Bn gtjl In the Transanal . mi ,. naared. w lien Sul ad 1 1 1 01 aua the alale ta warlike aiuiuda. tin Most Exclusive Club? Why, You Need to Join the 'Alimony' "Theodore Roberts aaaat. - X I I BsRT , v .xxi s- assaaM -sajg sag w f r ( X mm u l I A ... . vBiaaaMp-B S IBBBBBM I - - VT 7 1 gk ! MmMtmmWf-' ( "IT WAS TH FACal OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN NO. IT WAS OWmWL - I 1 THAT OF MY WIFE." I aaaaaaLZZT " i from elvlltaatlon'e bed. "Tired nature soon yielded to tha em brace of the downy couch. I elept, or thought 1 did. Above my head fantaatlc ahapea were woven out of the air. The figure of a beautiful woman floated ahova me. Her face waa near to mine. It waa a beautiful face. No, it wai not that of my wife. I coafeaa I waa eta rt led. I closed my eyea, than opened them. The woman and tha beautiful face ware still there. I sat up and tha face dlaappeared. I lay back -en my pillow and It came again to m. I looked about. I aaw a white figure waving In the raye of tba electric light. I wondered If I ware eeplng things. "1 recalled that I had been told that the gentleman who had occupied my Multe before me had been adllclal to the uae of morphine. But no. There waa a tug at my wrist. Involuntarily I eat belt upright In bed. The beautiful face faded away. 1 said aloud that I had never believed n xplrltualiam and then asked If anybody waa there. No answer came and I got up. The figure in white waa attll wnv nt toward me. and then I aaw again the outline of the other. I followed tho vapor-like form and It led me to the candle. The wh-k waa atlll burning and the smoke from It had formed the eplrltual form I had aeen floating above my bed. Tha figure In white waa my shirt. A strange His New York He Certainly Would Notl lit Into the appropriation hammer end I long, demanding that tho English lovernment pay for the consul, as he was of more service to England than the 1'ntted States Ths subject of Eng land and the Transvaal led to the Boer war. Now waving his arms and shout ing and now with a hushed and break ing voice that seemed to mourn the gravOf of heroes dead. Sulisr apoke for half an hour and retired In a bias of glory. After which the Hou promptl , voted agaJnet him. Outalde the New Tork oonstlhients met him. "Well, how waa It?" ssked Roiier. "Great!" exclaimed the constituents. "So long," said Sulxsr, shaking hands; "drop In when you'rs down this way again " eNeshgjttrta AND 44' HIS Luther MovRrty must bs some fighter," slid Tom flharkey. "I wonder If Ton ever recalla hla fight In Han Francisco with Hub Kltsalm- mona," said in ol4tlme sporting nun us t ie door of Mharkey'l alcoholic palace elused upon h I in snd hi friend. "You know TORI as swarded the fight on a foul nnd there ags uoniMargala a 'n- dal over thO derision. Toe rferee wsa rVyatl Karpi the Arizona gun-flgiuer. It was said of him H14I he i n I two gals uo wtin h refsrsed u oghb f nlglit In Ja- IIbbbh I i, whom the members ' H ga ZT ,1 i Warden for a H Bl I i makes gal II I i experience for olub, wasn't It' Eusjkm Johm of the club ca4 always on hai home Iri the club. Ha saya that the members rarely go out for weeks and months at a time. Mr. Roberta haa de clared that he will not leave tha hoe pl table quarters for sis months. By tha time he will have eaved H.X. That mean a twenty-six weeks of ali mony it M i week, which he will not have to pay. When he leaves he takes , a withdrawal card from the Alimony Oub. It wilt be hla goodnight to all- etaony. "I expect to do a Rood deal of writing during my stay here," ald the aotor. "1 have a play all framed out. and In alx month I rem flnlsh It In fine shape. I will have mv library brought down early next week, or that part of It 1 may need. 1 will have a good ret and will be free from all trouble. I look forward to the nxt alx month with unqualified pleeaure. The members of the ohab I have found Interesting. Every one of them ha a storv to tell and each want me to write It up. I will have no dearth of material and I am sure the aurroundlng will be very congenial." "We treat our prla our member line," said Julius Tlarhurger, the Rherlff. "Once a month they hve high links When James R. Keene Bet on His Favorite. ALTHOITOH James B. Keene. ths dead financier and turfman, was j m as known aa tlie nerviest of Wall street operators, he was anything but a batting man on the race tracks. He dearly loved to win valuabl stakes, and ha won nearly everything In this Una except ths classic English Derby. His horses rarsly carried anything but an Infinitesimal wager. Big wagers were few and far between with him. One day when hte Ben Brush colt Baeom was making his racing dabut at Sheepahead, Mr. Keene visited the pad dock In company .. with his trainer, Jimmy Howe, and Inspected ths colt mlautsly. Ksens was very fond of Noonday, ths colt's dam, snd he talked proudly of his expectations of Besom The colt had worked exceptionally fast, and tha race looked as sura aa sure things can be regarded on a race track. Tha reault of the conference with Bowa waa that Mr. Keene decided to make one of his rare bets, SBOO on Besom to win. Ths newe of the Keen wsger created almost a sensation In the ring, and tha price against ths colt went tumbling. The race was run sn I Besom lost by an eyelash He went out with Berry Maid and ths two raced stride for Stride like a team. When It was Besom's turn to stride, his nose showed In front, and when It was Berry Maid's turn ahe showed a acant advantage, go It was all the way. fr, Keene watching ! the contest through his field glasses without a murmur. The crowd wd on Its toe As they prd the Judges II wa Berry Maid's turn to stride. Then tha apple of Mi Keene a eve st the time lost the verdict, an i the VtOgsChall man of the Jockey Club lost o;i of his few wagers on the turf. NOW FOURTEENTH STREET LIFTS ITS HAND AND SAYS "PLEASE. TEACHER!" I Itielmmona contealed the d Hion and hired an attorney named Col. Kowaltkv The Colonel was a gp at character in San Francisco lie had -a line of talk that ran as smoothly as a light running sewing machlRR, And lie loved to talk Tnay used 10 say that In talked himself to aici p Hut rial ., so. The Colonel had tha llseplng Sick ne Why. I've been talking lu ID rryirlf when he'd fall fast ealeep 'Well, Kowalsky did a el of talk til In In newspapers about Wyatt RaVrp Other paopl sera talking about lbs ref and every Sunday they have a concert. (Jens Johnaon used to be a bandmaster. lie play the trombone, comet and the violin. I. don't mean all at once. He play at sight and ha can read notes. ll can read them at thirty, sixty and ninety .daye. Every Sunday he haa a I band at the club and tha members havefnard H also our busleat box-office actor? the time of their Uvea It'a a great place. I Invite vou to spend a month with ua; malt It three months. No! Well, goodnight." And as the door of the club clanged aflsr The Hvenlrtr World nun the struln of longs were wafted out on tile sir. The member of the Alimony dub were elngins the chorus of "t Wonder W ho's Klalne Her Now?" Saaaa)Alajah New York's "Chickens" Had Their Dance And Here's the "Cluck! Cluck!" They Answered I VERY regular fallow will he at thl monster celebration bec.i use j he will want to ee the 't style In all will kens, anil believe ua, they'll there, with the bells link- "A CHICKEN." ling and the feather pollhed ao brRJh'. you cr see your face In them. We have received over twelve hun dred letter frm chlckene In and around New Yoi asking particulars about thla hall. Then letter come fioni North. Kant, Smith and West, and therefore we are euro of having all localities repreented. So great h la I been the interest manifested thai V.'S 'he Ihls nave determined to award prises In moat unique contest ever held In big vlilHge. PRIZES FOR CHICKENS. The Prettiest Cblcksa ll k ink ta tt4t444mMaA4nua.m1.4n44 eree's gctloi bugging alio1 hornels An too Tha talk wa tost hi bead Ilka n army of 1 t .e a. Iguna a lOeflghtei thought It was up to hl'u to hind in thg oontrovargy, 'Soma om 's got to kci kills tue way he thouaht it out 'No draws Ihe pi Ue'." "He canchided 1i1.1i the take a as ou mda tiraoi of nil verbal assailants js rui. Kowglaki The Colonel's , ttaom wasi sealed KOWalakl u"d 10 have a lit 1 Of 1 111:11 111 the old Baldwin" llulel OR I 'tu Urn floor. Ii wej a abort sprint I Sam Bernard Believes New York Likes JVH?ejinjTJ"IXU" Don't Look for Onm in tho Dictionary, but the Mo ment It Cornea From Under Cover Grab it It'a Permiaaible! BY CHARLES DARNTON. ND now It cornea out per-mlsa-as-uble! It reaaaa out of Haan Bar nard as the last word In tha English language that he knows ao woll aad uaea ao littla. Like hla now motto. Don't leave It undone, but keep It unknown," it la tha lateat thing out. Pernilaitble" la to "All the Ladles" what "ehuah" waa to "Tho Rich Mr. Hoggrnhclmer," whut "aufflclenoy" waa to "The Qirl From Kay ." and what "la It possible!" waa to "The Rollicklug Giil." "A good catch-word I a good a twenty or thirty pages of dialogue," declared the verbal dellcatenaen dealer, piaklng from experience. But it haa to be In the right place. A word la a runny thing, only to make It funny you ir.uet give It every advantage. And U's hard to find. There'a no use looking for it la the- dictionary. You must wait until It ahowa Itself outside and then grab It All the word In the dictionary ire aa aerloua ea Rhakesperlan actors, but once they come (rem under cover their whole nature la apt to change Keep your ear opea and you may catch a word that la good for a laugh at both m. J ahahIhm mmm i ........ - - - - always write my own woro-eometlmea mere mere than one. I'm co-author of well, several pieces. Don't hurt my fadings by mentioning the one In which 1 waa aearly a hero. Bui I do not blush to aay that 1 am one of our busiest little eo-autkor. Now you know II!" Do yoo happen ta know that Sam Ber- His first evening performance at the Lyric Theatre begins at 7.4.1 and ends st 06. when he rushes oil to his dreaa- Ing room to make up for hla aecono performance. II dellghta hi practical aoul to eel I ticket He bring to t his voluntary pari of hi work wonderful ;enthu1m and a true feeling lor the two-dollar bill. Luting one from a very particular woman laat night he crowded a prlss of R60.00 la weld, and ehe'll be picked out of the grand march by tli. ci competent Judges, who will be entire etrangers and therefore not Influenced. Tha prettiest girl le going to get the first prlae. Her complexion, xpreal in and general facial characterlatic will decide this award. Tha aflfttsst Ohlehea will get the ago. ond prise of SRRAO la Oold. Hy "sTlfty" we mean what the French people call "chtc," which meana "cute." "dainty." "fetching" you know, one of thoaa klda that you gat a flash of and then ahs's gone and you epend the rest of the week wondering which way she went! That'a the kind. Well, the Judge will have their eyes peeled. Beat Dressed tThiekea I IB. 00 ta Oold. It la not necessary to explain thla ex cept that wa would like to aay that good taste will Influence the Judge In announcing their derision rather thsn any lavish expenditure on a coatume.i You might get a sis-dollar suit at a Hevemh avenue piece end look ten times as well a another girl would look in a two-hundred-dollar Firth avenue layout. Bmalleei Chicken Is going to receive glOOO la Oeia. The girl to win thla doesn't have to be so young, necessarily, bdt she must ha phyalcsJIy petit. A few other features to make you happy: The cabaret show hall room Marathon fog ladies, barnyard hippo drome, flight of balloon Think of thai ehlrhena: Plymouth ronks, leghoms. oochin Chinas, speckled reds, orplngtons. They'll all he there! They'll all he eoratchlng' Ko get busy! Bring your own corn! -iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiViiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiWiWtum up Ihe broa I alalia to the first Hoot F.arp look a drink and then walk I up. ' 'Kunnet,' i.ald the g.inuian in ills soft, purring .ul.-e, 'You havs been do Ing OOtllldarRblS tslklng abOul u a ani some one his !ot to die be'aia- my reputatlOR s at stake. nJ, Kunnel. I c .:e, .del ihl l migu: aa we 1 lie you.' "At. 1 ihe gunman unllmaered fortj tl.e and oveied I lie a t tome . Koa!Mv never sii.i H word, When attstippei speaaiii there w a death like all-n ' uiso aa awful anora ainota tha aunot A Catch-Word on - - "inm I a ticket noon her. Hha no aoonei , ,UnCf, ,t wUn , practl el in H an she raised the objection: "This seat la too far back." "Believe me, madam," the persusslv I treasurer assured hsr, "If you eat any closer to the stage It would hurt your t ears." "I'd like two of your beat seats came from tha next fare that appeared at ths window, rive dollars accom sanled1 the . cheerful apiairltlon. The tickets, with no change, ware promptly handed out. "Why du vou charire me two-and-a- ' half apiece for theae iltmandcd the Indignant purchaser. "You asked for ths keel sea I a, plained the rising Vnuntr treaaurer, I gat you ths best 1 lid--two sx- "anJ In a box." "Well. I'll be" "Pleased, I hope," put In the smiling genius of the box office And that'a the way It went until the all-round actor tore himself away from the ticket rack and dashed off to his dressing room. Hers I asked him haiw he caught his catchwords. "Usually I do It by getting a line on New York's Marines Smile at This Junior. CAPT. W. R. D. IRVINE R. N. It , commander of ths l.u'-oiila. Is renowned for hla mild manner. Titers Is one Junior officer In the Cunei d servlc, however, who once believed ('apt. Irvine lo be tha meanest com mander on the seas. This Junior officer, had Joined the I'annonla, which was thsn commanded by ('apt. 1 1 vine. It wsa the Junior's first voyage In steam." The I'annonla waa pasilng through the Htralt of Mesama. t'npt. Irvine waa on the bridge. Ths Junjor hsd been psclng the deck below the In: Iks In an ex lied manner for several minutes. Finally, be nailed the captain on the 1st Mat- Astonished, tha captain looked down at the Junior. "I think we re too close In ahors, air," aald trio Junior. "Oh, do you? How interesting'" re plied "'apt. Irvine, and resumed hla far Ing of the bridge. Thla Junior was later telling his tumbles to Sam McNeil, now 'aptatn I of the Ausonla. McNeil had asked him how he liked hta captain. The Junior had replied that ' tha old man" was too sar astlc to suit him and related the Hlralta nf Messina experience. MoNetl was pet rill ad for a full minute. When he rOOOVefed he Informed ths youngster s lot regarding the relations of a Junior officer to his captain. That I hi i little yarn may be appre ciated I' mav be said that Hie address ing of a iwptaln on the bridge by a Junior officer I considered lese majesle Tne Idee) of a Junior offering advice Is I an unpardonable offenee. Juniors have I lost out In tha MrVlca fur bidding good morning to their captain without first having been spoken to ' bowalak had one of I, It a'- :.np looked at him arlth aye phi 1 take Ka a id mouth w I le open ilu looke,! at ins lawyer to of htg Odta and lila g in and ban) over make sue the ei idence eyes 1 ., lie wa asleep all right Ka p el ih put ths gun Ise li into his pocket. He reverently removed his sombrero end UptOed 0 ii "f the rooi losing the door after blm without the llghtsOl no!. T ii 1 is in gii the wy koma and toid his wife that he hud I isl met Ihe biavest man he hsd vr sssn In his hta ' the Tip of P in iinusin j the right man." ne said. "There's an old Herman downtown naufed .Miller who Is shrleklngly funny without know ing It. A drummer told me about him and Uiok mi down one day to see him. He' fcremaii of a cloak making pise, i seen you once In a play, he mid me, 'and maybe you are a comical aclor, yes? lint the play It was chust non sense. Homettmae to the theatre I go. but moat tlmee I don't. Iaat week I eell another nlav. ths name I think Ii wa "IViught and Hold Out." 1 He meant ilought and Paid Fir ' I kept a aerlnus face until the proprietor came In with a girl who had hsen promised a Jolt. 'So?' aald Miller, looking at her. 'You ran ssw. yes? All right, take your clothes off" "Then there was another fallow, Babultg." he recalled, "who played the clarionet In a Cleveland vsrlety house end slso rsn a boarding house , twenty odd yeatrs ago He put in hla apsre time curs'ng his luck. 'For nothing,' he would say. 'you foollih actors get much money, and I get two dullurs a nlg.it. And for what ? I blow my head off and nuliody sees It! 1 ask you, does any body s-e It? No! And I atudlsd Iq Utriitany" I'ete Ualley and I used to slop at Hchults's you couldn't keep Pete out of the place. Tha old man rai !sjaeaAajea New York in the Joyous Daytime Gets Very Much Pointed Out to Joe and Lew T"K rBBtM and Lew Field wele I ruling uptown In a tMtRRk a law J aflorooOul ago 10 attend a wed- I ding Tl lu.ifTur waa a laig. iniB- taut M. ha. an with a suuars faoe J ie and Lew, not famtllsr with the gaped of New York In the daytime, were Interested in rh building along ; Central l'ark West, and asked the 111- I heriitan cnauffeur many question. I Finally the chauffeur remarked. "Do yel think this is wan of t .i n rubber nek RlSllllgl Hun do yes think I I'll o snswerln' your fool queatlotis i and ksps from runnlu Into a throlley 1 oavav or oomethla' I" Its Tongue ajeaaReJRaae little bar In a back room, with a lunch to encourage trade. Hut business was pretty bad. To mske It seem wore , I'et planned a little surprise one night. He brought around three or four frlendo end mada ua promise that we would eat everything in eight and not buy a drlnh. If anything could glvs a man a thirst II waa that lunch -rye bread, pot chess, salted radishes oo! But we ate svsry it f it while Pete told funny stories. Everybody but Hchu ta laughed. Tho only time he brightened up was when one of the party offered tu buy cigars. This Was Ualley' cur to aay, 'Never mud. I've got enough cigarettes for all of us.' "H.'hulli looked at lilm with murder In hie eye, but nothlr.g happened until a'ter li o clock when, soma one knocked on Hie door, which had been locked. Don't . let him In,' advlaed Ualley, it would be against the law.' But bulla e blood ! was up. Hrabblng a mallet, bs Jumped for tha door and opened It with Ihe I hearty greeting, 'You come chust at I the right time! I commence something!' ! "" leaped to the rescue, took the I unman lu, and then bought everything In the place. Uood old Pete! Even Hchultx, who hated the world, loved him. "Without knowing It, Schults. whoa dialect wa worth going miles to hear, gave me lot ol funny stun that I have used I picked up many a word at hla pise. But you never know what a word or a phras la worth until you bring It tu New York. If It Is Rood for anything New York catches It quickly and then passes It along until It goes alt over the country A word Implies ao much! In soms places you havs to hand It to them with a careful expla nation, but not here. New York knowe a good catch-word the moment It hear one, and It like nothing better thaa to havs one on the tip of Ita tongue " Properly rubuked, Joe and Lew sank back in their seats. The taxi, an sped on. Xuddeuly there came Into view a inagnHreenl synagogue, with gildel dumca and mrnarela, a beautiful ape. : men of ar. lute -tura of the synagog .s type. "Here." Slid Jos to I.eW, with s grill.' "is where I gut ons largu Harp gnat. Pay deep alt, niton." "BuaOlphi ' bj called to the vhaulTeu'". "what if Ilia' iilisteuing, ornate and Mrlklng strili'tttfa on on copier?" "Tbati ' replied Ihe Irish rbauffeu', wltliout liirulng arountl. "Is Ca-ardlatl rarley'a gar-rage " 'I a ih I R i If.1