Newspaper Page Text
THE EVENING WORLD, SATURDAY, JANUARY I, 1913.
II. I you step Into UM bar
room? The privilege Of Hid
Alimony Club ro yours '
tt Mt Theodore linli. i t, the Mil
Lnnt, n . ,. i i-n. i IB. I , i .....
-w nuui, laming. ;i, ii. i I HUH M
P apartments In the Alimony (iuh 111 I
the Hsrhnrger Building In l.udlow
street th day before. Somen me 1MB
undhrnlfy the hospitable Indginnt hnus"
af aThrrlff llarhurger by the mtm of
Ihe laid mv Street Ml There Is no
'counting for tte.
The barroom wn a room with per- I
pennicuur nr Tries were Just a
good anv to i ninn who had made
New Tear resolutions. Mr. Roberts I
had mads the resolution. For six
rronMis ha la on the watei wjtin. He
la taking the llarhisrger cure.
I woma take yon up to my rooms, j
Mr. Roberta continued, "hut my nun is i
out thla afternoon making necessary
purohaaes nnil I'm a frail the apartment
la hardly presentable."
Mr. Huberts a application for member
ship to the exclusive Ludlow street All'
itiony Huh nil signed hy h:a wife
"ne ha to be vo iched for to get Into
Mia club. It'a like going Into the F.sgles !
Vt helonglng fa Tmtinuny-something
like tt. Mrs Roberts haa been VO y kin I
l her aetor and playwright husband,
.-'lie took rare of all hla money, and
now whan ha haen t any more money
aha baa provided a home for him at
.the Alamony Club.
It'a vary pleasant here." a.tld the
new member or the club. The mem
hara af the club ara a delightful lot of
fellow and they gave ma a royal wel
come laat night. V had music and
singing", played cards, cheaa and check
em, Oane Johnson, tha Warden ar. I
should amy tba manager of tha club la
extremely hoapltable. He sing wall,
toe. If a man wan tad to laave hera.
'Sena wouldn't hear of It. He aimply
wouldn't lat blm ar. I had to complain
thla morning af ray bath. I Ilk a hot
bath In tha morning and the tempera
ture at the water waa a little low. He
Beared Jamea, my man, that there
weald he no complaint In tba future.
"It la ssrsromily quiet bar, a you
moat have noticed. It nearer gate nolay,
I have heart aeaurad. I Ilka iulet I
love the raTihrht and I like to write by
i he Mgjht of tallow eandla at time,
invtead ef tha ejectrle light last night
1 had a. cindle A strange thing hap
liened. I don't bed eve In ghost. I have
little faith In dream, and I have never
been sarong on eplrttualtem. But I leave
I: to yen to make what you can out
f thla eoourrence.
"I had bean reading In my eaar chair
by the aoft oendl light. I read until
I felt drowey, then blew out the light
vou can't Imagine the senaatlon of
owing out the light of a candle. It
brought memoriae of camping nut, of
a erode but delicti tfu I hotel In a pretty
mountain fkatnra. of a night on hoard
my yacht. I stood In my hare feet on
the aoft Peralan rug looking out through
an aperture through which atreamed the
raye of an electrlu lamp on the atreot
Hut for the electrlo light I could have
Imagined myaelf a thouaand miles away
Would Sulzer Disappoint
Prena CM respondent at
ho bag J1:t arrived li Maw York
f om Constantinople, where he ' 'cov
ered " the Bulgarian war, told a good
tory on 1ov Puller at the Ixitoa f'lub,
whore he la staying for a few day until
t.e atarts for Ohlua,
Bark In Stiller' erl" f nnjre-nat
lay Moore was a Washington eorrea
uondent and waa waltlnc for an lnter-
., in one uv nm
W VVnm the nepreaentatlvea' chamber and
greet two New Vork conatltuenta.
"Howdy boya." ea!d '''ongraasman Bill
The o" were p'eaaed.
Bill." aald one, "there !nn't erm t
he anything doing and we gutter g l
away. Wheu're yuh e"ln' to apeak?"
Bill allowed there waa a rather dull
"That's tounh luck." aald the eecnnd
constituent, "we Just wanted to hear
wiu make a pi h."
Suiter pulled 'i!s forelock until a
tuought came lie produced ticket for
the special gallery.
"Vou go uP there1 said Bill, ";ind
I'll make a apeeen.
The 8rea'er wl Inlawing mnaulaf
spre Relatione, which sera passed erlth
Bn gtjl In the Transanal
. mi ,. naared. w lien Sul
1 1 1 01
aua the alale ta warlike aiuiuda. tin
Most Exclusive Club? Why, You Need
to Join the 'Alimony' "Theodore Roberts
aaaat. - X I I
BsRT , v .xxi s- assaaM -sajg sag w
f r ( X mm u l
I A ... . vBiaaaMp-B S
IBBBBBM I - - VT 7 1
gk ! MmMtmmWf-' (
"IT WAS TH FACal OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN NO. IT WAS OWmWL - I 1
THAT OF MY WIFE." I aaaaaaLZZT " i
"Tired nature soon yielded to tha em
brace of the downy couch. I elept, or
thought 1 did. Above my head fantaatlc
ahapea were woven out of the air. The
figure of a beautiful woman floated
ahova me. Her face waa near to mine.
It waa a beautiful face. No, it wai
not that of my wife. I coafeaa I waa
eta rt led. I closed my eyea, than opened
them. The woman and tha beautiful
face ware still there. I sat up and tha
face dlaappeared. I lay back -en my
pillow and It came again to m. I
looked about. I aaw a white figure
waving In the raye of tba electric light.
I wondered If I ware eeplng things.
"1 recalled that I had been told that
the gentleman who had occupied my
Multe before me had been adllclal to
the uae of morphine. But no. There
waa a tug at my wrist. Involuntarily I
eat belt upright In bed. The beautiful
face faded away. 1 said aloud that I
had never believed n xplrltualiam and
then asked If anybody waa there. No
answer came and I got up. The figure
in white waa attll wnv nt toward me.
and then I aaw again the outline of
the other. I followed tho vapor-like
form and It led me to the candle. The
wh-k waa atlll burning and the smoke
from It had formed the eplrltual form
I had aeen floating above my bed. Tha
figure In white waa my shirt. A strange
His New York
He Certainly Would Notl
lit Into the appropriation hammer end
I long, demanding that tho English
lovernment pay for the consul, as he
was of more service to England than
the 1'ntted States Ths subject of Eng
land and the Transvaal led to the Boer
war. Now waving his arms and shout
ing and now with a hushed and break
ing voice that seemed to mourn the
gravOf of heroes dead. Sulisr apoke for
half an hour and retired In a bias of
glory. After which the Hou promptl ,
voted agaJnet him.
Outalde the New Tork oonstlhients
"Well, how waa It?" ssked Roiier.
"Great!" exclaimed the constituents.
"So long," said Sulxsr, shaking hands;
"drop In when you'rs down this way
HIS Luther MovRrty must bs
some fighter," slid Tom
"I wonder If Ton ever recalla hla fight
In Han Francisco with Hub Kltsalm-
mona," said in ol4tlme sporting nun
us t ie door of Mharkey'l alcoholic palace
elused upon h I in snd hi friend. "You
know TORI as swarded the fight on a
foul nnd there ags uoniMargala a 'n-
dal over thO derision. Toe rferee wsa
rVyatl Karpi the Arizona gun-flgiuer.
It was said of him H14I he i n I two
gals uo wtin h refsrsed u oghb
f nlglit In Ja- IIbbbh I
i, whom the members ' H ga ZT ,1 i
Warden for a H Bl I i
makes gal II I i
olub, wasn't It'
of the club ca4
always on hai
home Iri the club. Ha saya that the
members rarely go out for weeks and
months at a time. Mr. Roberta haa de
clared that he will not leave tha hoe
pl table quarters for sis months. By
tha time he will have eaved H.X.
That mean a twenty-six weeks of ali
mony it M i week, which he will not
have to pay. When he leaves he takes ,
a withdrawal card from the Alimony
Oub. It wilt be hla goodnight to all-
"I expect to do a Rood deal of writing
during my stay here," ald the aotor.
"1 have a play all framed out. and In
alx month I rem flnlsh It In fine shape.
I will have mv library brought down
early next week, or that part of It 1
may need. 1 will have a good ret and
will be free from all trouble. I look
forward to the nxt alx month with
unqualified pleeaure. The members of
the ohab I have found Interesting.
Every one of them ha a storv to tell
and each want me to write It up. I
will have no dearth of material and I
am sure the aurroundlng will be very
"We treat our prla our member
line," said Julius Tlarhurger, the Rherlff.
"Once a month they hve high links
When James R. Keene
Bet on His Favorite.
ALTHOITOH James B. Keene. ths
dead financier and turfman, was j
m as known aa tlie nerviest of Wall
street operators, he was anything but
a batting man on the race tracks. He
dearly loved to win valuabl stakes,
and ha won nearly everything In this
Una except ths classic English Derby.
His horses rarsly carried anything but
an Infinitesimal wager. Big wagers
were few and far between with him.
One day when hte Ben Brush colt
Baeom was making his racing dabut at
Sheepahead, Mr. Keene visited the pad
dock In company .. with his trainer,
Jimmy Howe, and Inspected ths colt
mlautsly. Ksens was very fond of
Noonday, ths colt's dam, snd he talked
proudly of his expectations of Besom
The colt had worked exceptionally fast,
and tha race looked as sura aa sure
things can be regarded on a race track.
Tha reault of the conference with
Bowa waa that Mr. Keene decided to
make one of his rare bets, SBOO on Besom
to win. Ths newe of the Keen wsger
created almost a sensation In the ring,
and tha price against ths colt went
The race was run sn I Besom lost by
an eyelash He went out with Berry
Maid and ths two raced stride for
Stride like a team. When It was
Besom's turn to stride, his nose showed
In front, and when It was Berry Maid's
turn ahe showed a acant advantage, go
It was all the way. fr, Keene watching !
the contest through his field glasses
without a murmur. The crowd wd on
Its toe As they prd the Judges II
wa Berry Maid's turn to stride. Then tha
apple of Mi Keene a eve st the time
lost the verdict, an i the VtOgsChall man
of the Jockey Club lost o;i of his few
wagers on the turf.
NOW FOURTEENTH STREET LIFTS ITS HAND AND SAYS "PLEASE. TEACHER!"
I Itielmmona contealed the d
hired an attorney named Col. Kowaltkv
The Colonel was a gp at character
in San Francisco lie had -a line of
talk that ran as smoothly as a light
running sewing machlRR, And lie loved
to talk Tnay used 10 say that In
talked himself to aici p Hut rial .,
so. The Colonel had tha llseplng Sick
ne Why. I've been talking lu ID
rryirlf when he'd fall fast ealeep
'Well, Kowalsky did a el of talk til
In In newspapers about Wyatt RaVrp
Other paopl sera talking about lbs ref
and every Sunday they have a concert.
(Jens Johnaon used to be a bandmaster.
lie play the trombone, comet and the
violin. I. don't mean all at once. He
play at sight and ha can read notes.
ll can read them at thirty, sixty and
ninety .daye. Every Sunday he haa a
I band at the club and tha members havefnard H also our busleat box-office actor?
the time of their Uvea It'a a great
place. I Invite vou to spend a month
with ua; malt It three months. No!
And as the door of the club clanged
aflsr The Hvenlrtr World nun the
struln of longs were wafted out on tile
sir. The member of the Alimony dub
were elngins the chorus of "t Wonder
W ho's Klalne Her Now?"
New York's "Chickens" Had Their Dance
And Here's the "Cluck! Cluck!" They Answered
I VERY regular fallow will he at
thl monster celebration bec.i use j
he will want to ee the
kens, anil believe ua, they'll
there, with the bells link-
ling and the feather pollhed ao brRJh'.
you cr see your face In them.
We have received over twelve hun
dred letter frm chlckene In and
around New Yoi asking particulars
about thla hall. Then letter come
fioni North. Kant, Smith and West, and
therefore we are euro of having
localities repreented. So great
I been the interest manifested thai
nave determined to award prises In
moat unique contest ever held In
PRIZES FOR CHICKENS.
The Prettiest Cblcksa ll k ink ta
too Tha talk wa tost
hi bead Ilka n army of
1 t .e a. Iguna a lOeflghtei
thought It was up to hl'u to
hind in thg oontrovargy,
'Soma om 's got to kci kills
tue way he thouaht it out 'No
draws Ihe pi Ue'."
"He canchided 1i1.1i the
tiraoi of nil verbal assailants js rui.
Kowglaki The Colonel's , ttaom wasi
sealed KOWalakl u"d 10 have a lit
1 Of 1 111:11 111 the old Baldwin" llulel OR I
'tu Urn floor. Ii wej a abort sprint
Sam Bernard Believes New York Likes
Don't Look for Onm in tho
Dictionary, but the Mo
ment It Cornea From
Under Cover Grab it
BY CHARLES DARNTON.
ND now It cornea out per-mlsa-as-uble!
It reaaaa out of Haan Bar
nard as the last word In tha English
language that he knows ao woll aad
uaea ao littla. Like hla now motto.
Don't leave It undone, but keep It
unknown," it la tha lateat thing out.
Pernilaitble" la to "All the Ladles"
what "ehuah" waa to "Tho Rich Mr.
Hoggrnhclmer," whut "aufflclenoy"
waa to "The Qirl From Kay ." and
what "la It possible!" waa to "The
"A good catch-word I a good a
twenty or thirty pages of dialogue,"
declared the verbal dellcatenaen dealer,
piaklng from experience. But it haa
to be In the right place. A word la a
runny thing, only to make It funny you
ir.uet give It every advantage. And U's
hard to find. There'a no use looking for
it la the- dictionary. You must wait
until It ahowa Itself outside and then
grab It All the word In the dictionary
ire aa aerloua ea Rhakesperlan actors,
but once they come (rem under cover
their whole nature la apt to change
Keep your ear opea and you may catch
a word that la good for a laugh at both
m. J ahahIhm mmm i
........ - - - -
always write my own woro-eometlmea
mere mere than one. I'm co-author of
well, several pieces. Don't hurt my
fadings by mentioning the one In which
1 waa aearly a hero. Bui I do not
blush to aay that 1 am one of our
busiest little eo-autkor. Now you know
Do yoo happen ta know that Sam Ber-
His first evening performance at the
Lyric Theatre begins at 7.4.1 and ends
st 06. when he rushes oil to his dreaa-
Ing room to make up for hla aecono
performance. II dellghta hi practical
aoul to eel I ticket He bring to t his
voluntary pari of hi work wonderful
;enthu1m and a true feeling lor the
two-dollar bill. Luting one from a very
particular woman laat night he crowded
a prlss of R60.00 la weld, and ehe'll be
picked out of the grand march by tli. ci
competent Judges, who will be entire
etrangers and therefore not Influenced.
Tha prettiest girl le going to get the
first prlae. Her complexion, xpreal in
and general facial characterlatic will
decide this award.
Tha aflfttsst Ohlehea will get the ago.
ond prise of SRRAO la Oold. Hy "sTlfty"
we mean what the French people call
"chtc," which meana "cute." "dainty."
"fetching" you know, one of thoaa
klda that you gat a flash of and then
ahs's gone and you epend the rest of
the week wondering which way she
went! That'a the kind. Well, the Judge
will have their eyes peeled.
Beat Dressed tThiekea I IB. 00 ta Oold.
It la not necessary to explain thla ex
cept that wa would like to aay that
good taste will Influence the Judge In
announcing their derision rather thsn
any lavish expenditure on a coatume.i
You might get a sis-dollar suit at a
Hevemh avenue piece end look ten
times as well a another girl would look
in a two-hundred-dollar Firth avenue
Bmalleei Chicken Is going to receive
glOOO la Oeia. The girl to win thla
doesn't have to be so young, necessarily,
bdt she must ha phyalcsJIy petit.
A few other features to make you
happy: The cabaret show hall room
Marathon fog ladies, barnyard hippo
drome, flight of balloon
Think of thai ehlrhena: Plymouth
ronks, leghoms. oochin Chinas, speckled
They'll all he there! They'll all he
eoratchlng' Ko get busy! Bring your
up Ihe broa I alalia to the first Hoot
F.arp look a drink and then walk I up.
' 'Kunnet,' i.ald the g.inuian in ills
soft, purring .ul.-e, 'You havs been do
Ing OOtllldarRblS tslklng abOul u a ani
some one his !ot to die be'aia- my
reputatlOR s at stake. nJ, Kunnel.
I c .:e, .del ihl l migu: aa we 1 lie
"At. 1 ihe gunman unllmaered fortj
tl.e and oveied I lie a t tome . Koa!Mv
never sii.i H word, When attstippei
speaaiii there w a death like all-n
' uiso aa awful anora ainota tha aunot
A Catch-Word on
- - "inm
I a ticket noon her. Hha no aoonei
, ,UnCf, ,t wUn , practl el in H an
she raised the objection:
"This seat la too far back."
"Believe me, madam," the persusslv I
treasurer assured hsr, "If you eat any
closer to the stage It would hurt your t
"I'd like two of your beat seats
came from tha next fare that appeared
at ths window, rive dollars accom
sanled1 the . cheerful apiairltlon. The
tickets, with no change, ware promptly
"Why du vou charire me two-and-a- '
half apiece for theae
"You asked for ths keel sea I a,
plained the rising Vnuntr treaaurer,
I gat you ths best 1 lid--two
"Well. I'll be"
"Pleased, I hope," put In the smiling
genius of the box office
And that'a the way It went until the
all-round actor tore himself away from
the ticket rack and dashed off to his
dressing room. Hers I asked him haiw
he caught his catchwords.
"Usually I do It by getting a line on
New York's Marines
Smile at This Junior.
CAPT. W. R. D. IRVINE R. N. It ,
commander of ths l.u'-oiila. Is
renowned for hla mild manner.
Titers Is one Junior officer In the Cunei d
servlc, however, who once believed
('apt. Irvine lo be tha meanest com
mander on the seas. This Junior officer,
had Joined the I'annonla, which was
thsn commanded by ('apt. 1 1 vine. It
wsa the Junior's first voyage In steam."
The I'annonla waa pasilng through the
Htralt of Mesama. t'npt. Irvine waa
on the bridge. Ths Junjor hsd been
psclng the deck below the In: Iks In an
ex lied manner for several minutes.
Finally, be nailed the captain on the
1st Mat- Astonished, tha captain looked
down at the Junior.
"I think we re too close In ahors, air,"
aald trio Junior.
"Oh, do you? How interesting'" re
plied "'apt. Irvine, and resumed hla far
Ing of the bridge.
Thla Junior was later telling his
tumbles to Sam McNeil, now 'aptatn
I of the Ausonla. McNeil had asked him
how he liked hta captain. The Junior
had replied that ' tha old man" was too
sar astlc to suit him and related the
Hlralta nf Messina experience. MoNetl
was pet rill ad for a full minute. When
he rOOOVefed he Informed ths youngster
s lot regarding the relations of a Junior
officer to his captain.
That I hi i little yarn may be appre
ciated I' mav be said that Hie address
ing of a iwptaln on the bridge by a
Junior officer I considered lese majesle
Tne Idee) of a Junior offering advice Is
I an unpardonable offenee. Juniors have
I lost out In tha MrVlca fur bidding good
morning to their captain without first
having been spoken to
bowalak had one of I, It a'-
:.np looked at him arlth aye
a id mouth w I le open
ilu looke,! at
ins lawyer to
of htg Odta and
lila g in and ban) over
make sue the ei idence
eyes 1 ., lie wa asleep all right Ka p
el ih put ths gun Ise li into his pocket.
He reverently removed his sombrero end
UptOed 0 ii "f the rooi losing the door
after blm without the llghtsOl no!.
T ii 1 is in gii the wy koma and toid
his wife that he hud I isl met Ihe
biavest man he hsd vr sssn In his
the Tip of
P in iinusin j
the right man." ne said. "There's an
old Herman downtown naufed .Miller
who Is shrleklngly funny without know
ing It. A drummer told me about him
and Uiok mi down one day to see him.
He' fcremaii of a cloak making pise,
i seen you once In a play, he mid me,
'and maybe you are a comical aclor,
yes? lint the play It was chust non
sense. Homettmae to the theatre I go.
but moat tlmee I don't. Iaat week I
eell another nlav. ths name I think Ii
wa "IViught and Hold Out." 1 He meant
ilought and Paid Fir ' I kept a aerlnus
face until the proprietor came In with a
girl who had hsen promised a Jolt. 'So?'
aald Miller, looking at her. 'You ran
ssw. yes? All right, take your clothes
"Then there was another fallow,
Babultg." he recalled, "who played the
clarionet In a Cleveland vsrlety house
end slso rsn a boarding house , twenty
odd yeatrs ago He put in hla apsre time
curs'ng his luck. 'For nothing,' he
would say. 'you foollih actors get much
money, and I get two dullurs a nlg.it.
And for what ? I blow my head off and
nuliody sees It! 1 ask you, does any
body s-e It? No! And I atudlsd Iq
Utriitany" I'ete Ualley and I used to
slop at Hchults's you couldn't keep Pete
out of the place. Tha old man rai
New York in the Joyous Daytime Gets
Very Much Pointed Out to Joe and Lew
T"K rBBtM and Lew Field wele
I ruling uptown In a tMtRRk a law
J aflorooOul ago 10 attend a wed-
I ding Tl lu.ifTur waa a laig. iniB-
taut M. ha. an with a suuars faoe
J ie and Lew, not famtllsr with the
gaped of New York In the daytime,
were Interested in rh building along ;
Central l'ark West, and asked the 111- I
heriitan cnauffeur many question. I
Finally the chauffeur remarked.
"Do yel think this is wan of t .i n
rubber nek RlSllllgl Hun do yes think I
I'll o snswerln' your fool queatlotis i
and ksps from runnlu Into a throlley 1
oavav or oomethla' I"
little bar In a back room, with a
lunch to encourage trade. Hut business
was pretty bad. To mske It seem wore ,
I'et planned a little surprise one night.
He brought around three or four frlendo
end mada ua promise that we would eat
everything in eight and not buy a drlnh.
If anything could glvs a man a thirst
II waa that lunch -rye bread, pot chess,
salted radishes oo! But we ate svsry
it f it while Pete told funny stories.
Everybody but Hchu ta laughed. Tho
only time he brightened up was when
one of the party offered tu buy cigars.
This Was Ualley' cur to aay, 'Never
mud. I've got enough cigarettes for all
"H.'hulli looked at lilm with murder In
hie eye, but nothlr.g happened until a'ter
li o clock when, soma one knocked on
Hie door, which had been locked. Don't
. let him In,' advlaed Ualley, it would be
against the law.' But bulla e blood
! was up. Hrabblng a mallet, bs Jumped
for tha door and opened It with Ihe
I hearty greeting, 'You come chust at
I the right time! I commence something!'
leaped to the rescue, took the
I unman lu, and then bought everything
In the place. Uood old Pete! Even
Hchultx, who hated the world, loved
"Without knowing It, Schults. whoa
dialect wa worth going miles to hear,
gave me lot ol funny stun that I
have used I picked up many a word
at hla pise. But you never know what
a word or a phras la worth until you
bring It tu New York. If It Is Rood for
anything New York catches It quickly
and then passes It along until It goes
alt over the country A word Implies
ao much! In soms places you havs to
hand It to them with a careful expla
nation, but not here. New York knowe
a good catch-word the moment It hear
one, and It like nothing better thaa to
havs one on the tip of Ita tongue "
Properly rubuked, Joe and Lew sank
back in their seats. The taxi, an sped
on. Xuddeuly there came Into view a
inagnHreenl synagogue, with gildel
dumca and mrnarela, a beautiful ape. :
men of ar. lute -tura of the synagog .s
"Here." Slid Jos to I.eW, with s grill.'
"is where I gut ons largu Harp gnat.
Pay deep alt, niton."
"BuaOlphi ' bj called to the vhaulTeu'".
"what if Ilia' iilisteuing, ornate and
Mrlklng strili'tttfa on on copier?"
"Tbati ' replied Ihe Irish rbauffeu',
wltliout liirulng arountl. "Is Ca-ardlatl
rarley'a gar-rage "