Newspaper Page Text
11" 1 -
I Every Day a Real Laugh
The Evening: World Comics 1
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 30, 1922
ly Bide Dudley
IH3 (New Tot Brenta World),
Ml rufelUhlnt Company.
, Item Je erfcerl
WE'RE dosing up a joyous
la good old New York City,
. llwperity has brought us cheer,
la good old New York City,
JvVye mao'e our farms and
tor hojis are fat; sleek donkeys
.Wfeile plump cows moo and horses
ki good old New York City.
Oftr hens have laid us many eggs,
la good old New York City,
Jke cider-mill has filled our kegs,
In good old Now York City,
.Wt've stored the narrow and the
T offer thanks our heads we-bow,
1 wonder just who's looney now,
la good old New York City.
Bavins boon dropped by Dr. Stra
ta's church, Dr. Haywood probably
Well explode boob. ,
A new bridge la to span the East
Btrer so that mote Brooklyn folks
M come to Manhattan.
"At our house," writes N. Allen,
hare buckwheat cakes every
TBWiilng. Day by day I am setting
tatter and batter."
A reader ot this newspaper wants
to know It the tomato Is a fruit or a
vegetable. One of our actor friends
M98 It is a missile.
It's nobody's business but my
VB whom I marry,' says Mrs. Mo
Otradek of Chicago. True enough,
tfc stab seldom has anything to say
. jtTM&l It
Ofa, Fine ! '
, J road a took
The other night,
InS reading it
Brought me delight,
It tost My bank
,. Boofc and I ato
A Mmoc o
'i. Tea. bvakshvrrah!
tfWhat Hu Oone Btfore Mary Dlnzla.
telephone strl, quite hr Job and, with
ir Chlneea maid, roea Wnt looklne (or
a lot ot (un. Their train la wrecked and
lay ara walking to Kanaaa City from
HoUrwood when Incident occur. Won-
aer wny some newipaper co-an't print a
ftlotnre ot Al Smith and family! Now
an ua proceeai)
It was a moonlight night, and
Ifery and Abba Dabba, her maid,
were lost in the desert. As the
two girls strolled along, a terrl
We noise was heard. It soundod
Hke an angry city editor calling
lie its staff. v
"Oh, Abba, what was that?"
Mary thus asked her maid to
Bstplaln the noise.
"I don't know. We don't have
elses like that In China."
Xfwas Abba Dabba's reply.
At that point' an automobile
ame along. It stopped. A man
"Ladles," he said, "I am selllng
Wosber's patent dishwashing
Machine. It will wash all tho
5. toner dishes In fiftoen minutes.
May I demonstrate It to you?"
i "Caa you dancer' asked our
U .-"Ot course!"
"Taen let's see yen do tl
The merry laughter of Abba
i Vaste rung out over the vast
x stair waste. The man was cha
'" , "I ara of royal blood," he said.
.1 am descended from Kings."
"You must of camo a long
J. nys down," said Mary.
It was Just the right reply.
. Vary was very proud to have
. Btld 11.
'' "Boot, monl" said Abba Dabba,
. Bae little Chinese maid.
And as the moon-melted Into a
sftsd, the notes of a robin,
tackling In a tree, were- heard.
1 It all seemed so absurd.
' (To Be Continued.)
THIS AND THAT.
At the National Vaudeville Artists'
bib recently we saw a boy and girl
nee on the stage. They were cmaA
pupils of a dancing teacher.
they wculd have been good
SUsU to dance pforeiBloually if
k:fcr hadn't lacked Just one thing,
.Tat thing was a smile. They
fXffltaaeed so seriously that we felt like
yelling "Smile!" Had they taken
ttMtf wwk as fun they would have
.wade the hit ot their lives. One rea-
It Is To
LOl THE POOR INDIANl
WIIITTEMORB of Washburn
College was struck by the met
ropolitan education of an In
dian he met at Taos, New Mexico's
for his wife and
of a etudio.i Dr.
Whltteroore r -lates,
," bl.. fat,
rather eld Indian
approached m o .
He was wrapped
In a white sheet
which fell In
stately folds from
hl ahouldera to
the ground, his
arms wore folded like those of tho
oftlccr of the day standing at parade
rest during a formal guard mount,
hU approach wu as dignified as that
of a Roman senator.
I looked at him In recognition of
his stately bearing, and he spoko to
me these full and measured words:
'Sir,' he said, T am broke. Wilt you
givo me a dime?' "(Boston Tran
CAUSE FOR ABSENCE.
THE President of the Woman's
Advancement Society was agi
tated.' Bo was the Secretary.
'Mrs. Nlmbletung, who was to de
liver the address at to-day's meeting.
cannot be present," said tho former.
"Her husband has been seriously 111
three or four days."
'But a woman of her strength of
principle won't neglect her work In
the great cause to attend to the pal
try needs of an Individual and a male
individual at that?"
"Certainly not, but he writes her
speeches." Houston Post.
READING THE PALM.
T was a church fair and ono young
woman of the congregation was
gathering In tho coin as a palmist.
To a girl client she said. "I see by
your hand you are
going to be mar
ried." How wonder
'And I see- that
the man you are
sngaged to la
tho girl. "Surely
the lines of my
hand cannot tell
you Uc n f ii & o
'Who said anything about lines?"
retorted the palm reader with cutting
scorn. "You are wearing the en
gagement ring which I returned to
Mr. Olbson three weeks ago." Bos
PREFERRED THE CA8H.
x rOUNOSTERS that come In con-
J tact with the publlo becomo most
worldly wise. Johnny shlned
shoes and knew the ways of the
worM from Intimate, and sometime"
outer, experience, ono day a pros
perous looking old gentleman stepped
up Into the Bhlne stand. He eyod
Johnny with a friendly Interest.
"Young man, you look like a bright.
intelligent young reilow," ho re-
Johnny looked up at him unlm
"Bay, muter," he retorted, "I've
had that lino pulled on mo before.
What I want to know before we go
any further Is this a cash shine or
when I get through will, you pat me
on ma neaa and tell me I'll bo Gov
crnor some, day?" Kansas City Star.
WHY THE POOR ARE POOR.
a poor woman whose husband
was in jail a woman's aid so
ciety gave some olothlng
tea. dollars In money.
a weex after the gift had been
maae, a deputation of members called
at the squalid
home to see Xhe
results of their
round no lm
the condition of
("Weill , .Mrs.
one of them
"how aro you
"Did the clothes fit, and did you
llnd a use for the money?"
--ouro mo ciotnea ntted roine, an
the chllder looked so nlos In thlm
that I bad all tholr pictures took wld
the money ye gave me, an' I'm coin'
to have mo own took to oend to the
ould folks In Ireland." Everybody" a
son the Astalres are so successful
as dancers Is because they seem so
happy while on the stage. The late
Den Teale wouldn't have a chorus
girl In a musical show It sho per
slsted in looking serious while danc
lng. However, it Isn't only dancing;
that the smile will help, It's n good
thing to have with you in any lino ot
tka 'world taught with
J WMAT ABE YOO UP To?
M)U LOOK LIKE. VDU
CAST FOR A SiAr3TGK
COMEDY FILM f
IVeep and you weep alone."
It was tho lato Ella Wheeler Wil
cox who wroto the foregoing lines,
and when she penned them, aha wroto
a great truth.
I 1 l I Te BfJJJJJJk I BBBBBBBS- IS I II III I I '"r fT- jf T'. VHJSfm II - I 'Vi tfl.Jb. I '
THE BIG LITTLE FAMILY " u-B- ott. The Exception ! I
r fs -v
LITTLE MARY MIXUP V , ntI. u. 8. ph. o. This One Is on Mom !
HsfcsTLL Vu rAKl-PtW I ISerAeMfe I V ") iPl H "I A Wt t HeY MOM ? COME. SUlgE 4ouktM
fcWe3'& I (sT Z I VT It- Wk V 9Y WJ aWoV I
vfeue os: -nLt. -fan I noe 7 W J uAVe, JH deac . - X - M -vjrl .Hr and CboMe t?? wn? - I
I I Wl I imBmm!mi-'-rW VsS-" m-m i v&a -minx j I
FR1TZI RITZ Ifs Old for Fritzi! I
JA3NT HWTZl fEAW U ,m. qo SEE H I f "THESE OU) FASHAOHEO COSTUME UMj I C WHY FRITZI Tou HWrtll I I- LI I I IF THS SNT AN OLD FAWIONED J '
YET " CAT STAND vv .SnujE M BMLU5 (iVE ME AViW F xouw wmuh':. ON i t-T ! M ( DESS NEVER SAW ONE.' K " ,
. ABOUNO N "THESE FANCY V mdTMR fl T ANYTHING LAKE- FEEL. MUST BE nM i g ! ; RKfcr-SW 1? sT
! ' --. l- '" Ux WMrtTToI- '
(aOI II" i i 1 I!, i JM 1 1 ilt.i . IilT . I
I'm ?omma i
FIX Those darn"
Speaking of Mrs, Wilcox reminds
us of an intorviow we had with hor
In Kansas City ono tlmo. We dis
covered her at the Coatee House
anrf, ropAfwenting the Kansas City
Trade Mark Beg.
J WILL YOU EVER GWE H" A
REST ? YOU'RE FOREVER
PICKING ON THAT CAR -
T ftlt?i.s-K er at TT1 a M I
- mcycrc -mv int. i-iKCiw
Morning Star, "scooped" tho Journal.
Sho was exceedingly nice to us, ami
vo wrote a column and a half, most
of which was devoted to her Ideas
concerning New Thought Having
0. 0, Fat. Oft.
'fill j frri i u-n 1 1
Jjf H t T1IIN.K UMLLL T0 f53 . I W I .
Ml ul hav 1 lV 'H r Oust "te riohtL. Q x ;
completed It, wo could hardly wait
for tho paper to como out, but it
And then we found wo had written
It "Free Thought'' t all the way
Thus Making Both Happy:!
Boss Has His Own Ideas
We were bo disappointed that wo
took a couple of days off and went
to our home in Leavenworth to recover.'
About Some Things t
AND NOW PERMIT US.
'io express the opinion that'
masculine beauv In winter fre
quently Is onltarerooat H.
lawntmy i it iiiUfmiM-