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16 NOT I>"INt; THE HOBSON ACT. apt in: in hi: by the a user. An example of the Kaiser's Kit has jusi been given at the expense of a resident of Belgium prominent in the financial world, whom we will call Vun X.. a German by birth and nationality. The Kaiser knows him well, qualities an-3 fail ings. Yon X. i.~ extremely pretentious, md if flicted with that ambitious malady the French term <.. ij tly "folie dcs grandeurs." The Kaiser, after having seen Yon X. at Berlin and alked with Ini.i. summoned his physician one ■-- ■ ling, and with v ver>- solemn face complained i>f s>ri ous mental trouble. "What ire your symptoms, your majesty? 1 asked the alarmed doctor. ■I often \:.ik<- In the night and imagine I tin Yon X. of Brussels. I fear I am suffering from la foli-- dcs grandeurs." This h is since been brought to the ears »f Yon X. with the desired effect, and has caused no end of amusement in the world of wnich he makes i »art TUItLATESKD WITH EXTISCTIOS. From Ti: i "leveland Plain Dealer. ■•gome vriter says he feels awfully sorry for the poor horse fly What is he to do when there are onlj lutomobiles? What can a horse fly get off an iutomobiie. Varnish only. And the writer says larnish is disappointing in the beginning ami deadlj in t! nd. It does seem too bad, dosen't n .*" "It does Poor old horse fly But I suppose ■omebod) »ill be moved to do something for •'1 SI'I*I*OSE VOI'R EXGACESIEXT I'"" 1 THE IIARONKSS IS STII.I v SE<"TtET "Vi:s ONLY MY MOST [NTIMATK - 1:1 :i ■! i ' l:~ KNI>W OV i : Best Line to Cincinnati and St. Louis — New York Central. NEW-YORK TRIBUNE ILLUSTRATED SUPPLEMENT. the unfortunate wretches. Think of a Home for Indigent Horse Flies! Perhaps one of our big hearted millionaires will establish a park for them, and save from extinction a few equine examples for them to ft-nst upon. If the horse fly is doomed Ins exit should be mud- as easy arid comfortable as possible." SI V WORSHIPPER /V // iRD U CX. From The L.<>nd«>n Express. The following remarks were overheard nn a Strand omnibus, says a contemporary. A leaden sky was overhead, th« rain poured down un compromisingly, mud was underfoot A red capped Parsee who had been sitting near the dripping driver got down as the conductor came '"■•Whit sort ■>• chap is that?" asked the driver. "Don't yer know that.- answered the con ductor. -Why. that's one o' them Indians what worships the sun!"' , . "Worships the sun 1 .- said tho shivering <1 river. ••[ suppose Vs come over 'ere to 'aye a rest! SMOKE. From The Chicago Tribune. •■Is it true," asked the Inquisitive man, "thai en vironment produces changes ' type In living or- B *-Certafnly. it is." replied the local scientist, dlg- Klng .1 chunk or Boot out of hJs eye. "Haven t pou noticed that the English sparrows In ( hicago :,!■■■ growing blacker every year?" AS EXPL 1 \ ITIOS From The Wa till toi Star I ppose you w!i! be plad t> get away from i ongresa and g< t a little i t." "My friend.' ■ wered the stat snian, "you mis interpret !!••■ it iatl in. When a man goes t>> his SUSPICIOUS?. UXCL.E SAM- I BELIEVE I COTlll) 6CESS WBOM THAT DOSE 13 KEAIXI BEING FIXED C» Ni — (Detroit Tribune. own State he has got to look aflef elections night and day. Ho goes horn.- t.> hustle. II he's lurkj he gets to Congress, whew is a chance t-> rest. A TELLING KETORT. Fault was found, says "Tlw Christian Endeavor World." with the way in which thf shorthand writers r^port-d the speeches In a legislative body They retaliated by giving the speech ol on< members exactly as he made i<. with the following "The reporters ought not to the reporters ought not to be the ones to lodge of what is important - not to say what should be left out— but the mem ber can only jiulr^ of what i.- important As I— as my speeches— as the reports— as what I say la reporUd sometimes, no one— nobody can understand from the reports— what it is what I mean. - strikes me— it has struck me certain matters things that appear of Importance— are sometimes left out— omitted. The reporters— the papers— points are reported— l mean— to make a brief statement what the paper thinks of interest-!.-; reported. MRLOMACI. From The Chicago Pos.t. "I always endeavor." said the matrimoi losopher, "to take the wrong side of. an mcoase quential argument." •■With what object In view?" he wa i asked. "It gives my wife a chane« to pr • •.••• me wrong. and this so delights h--r that I find her -:• I tractable In all the m^r.- Importani matters " /. vi 101 .< RIVALS. From The Baltimore American "And you," sneered the ft i ' plain to be the best chauffeur In town?" • i do." stout Ij answ ■ ■ • ; - JUDGE (to tnuap%cco9ed of having kissed Urn woman}— WHAT HAVE YOU TO SAY IN YOl'tt i'KFKVS. TRAMP— NOTHING. YOUR BONOS. 1 DI^KKYi-: TO BB PUSlSUElX— (MegsenJorfer Kilter. •'You <1.»?" was the continuation of the sbp* ••Yt>u do? •■!•••■: you never killed any thins eswnt a chicken in all your career!" Stung to the quick, the second automobilist lurked with 1;:.- macli i in the vicinity .if a sehooit-ous? all afternoon, forgetting, in hi." blind rage, that it wa.< vacation time. PROPER /\ THAT ' l>/.\ From the Kansas City Journal. "Mr. Moore." said Judge Phillips to an ;i:: .:r., 7 daring the recent trial of a case in the feJerai court at Jdplin." "I believe it would be better •„> address the witnesses by surnames." The ofi^. injr attorney ™pologi» d and temporarily reforssvi I-ater an awkward Ions; lirri'"! acd Elovenh esa ■.v.i- called to the Stan I i!:.s ciothin? evfefetßd pressing need >l repair and a;s person urgently it mai d.-d a fcatb. N »w. Reab " hfi;an the . > sent-minded lawyer. "Wait ;« moment." saii ;•» judge. .-. - he I-nr.e-I over ar.d ti:».k ;i II Mili at ': h-- witness. Then he turned to the attorney and added. "Vimi may go on. *ir. I see no reason «%] he should not be called Ileub.' " THE HiMOiiisrs retort. Krom Tit-Kts. Editress— This joke dates from ttw tire* or Pharaoh. . . . Humorist— How careless I w;».; t.» - ir.mu it tg you. when i might have known you wouM rfmrnt "b»-r it. 77// /// !-"\ • ' Boston Ti i i- ■ ■ . • - -. - ■ ■ ■•■ •