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A KNOT IN TIME.
L'ncle Sam takes prernu'.icrs against sn uprising.
- M oretpoua Journal.
Editor — Have you ever shown this drawing to an editor before?
Art iet — Er — no.
Editor — Then how did you g*t that black eye?
LOUD RANDOLPH CHURCHILL. Young, a famous Internal revenue official, he
1 like to remember Lord Randolph a* I then •;'.!'!• "Caa y«u recollect as far back as 1832?
ftrft saw bin one afternoon h. Ifarefa wHen. by J. a ",. n °\.£ e w^L^5 n h^ u^ 6^ to ..^.'. er
apuiaillllinil, 1 met him to discuss the situa- "i-V^nn* »,M ••! f" h r . e P lled - Ah. Mr
■■ mind. I recollect studying the questFon
',.„ v- ame member for Newark In
SS t dd y 11 y tt e w 4T thJltflTOtlw? '- Hagapofnearly
II has' been said that Mr. Gladstone had not a
of humor, and vet in Parliamentary
( ,Z ■ -..linage he was never surpassed, l have seen
Im as delighted as a child over simple atories,
1 particularly at American wit. Once some
B&Sgs£Ssg& 1 one wat. rash er.ough to repeat in his presence a
£££" 2 .estlonahle tale of a political opponent. "Do
5Sa?« k |'t w^"JresS»ThlaS; *£*?& iis We, years tw : men of singularly un
color he wan then, us always, rather pale, with Prepossessing presence sat opposite to him. and
a look of ill-health which later lncreas-d from he r ; ut U \ [»«■ colleagues on the bench beside him
year to year. 1 symptom of the constitutional as . u> whl S* »'" the uglier. Tn.y gave their
weakness of whichba so prematurely died. '^ lnlnn ' "No." said he. "you do not approach
There was no lack, however, aa yet of vitality ln the «JUMtlon from the proper point. If you were
hi. movement* or gestures. On the contrary, it to niagnify your man he would, on a colossal
was fust tbe vital force In him which ■/_' til f ale ' become dignified and even imposing, but
chief atti «."i on. and dw Crank IrreeponatbUtty In m > » ■•■"'. the more you magnuied h m the
all he did and said. He bad a schoolboy's care- meaner he would become. "-The Right Hon. Sir
leewness o! phrase, even m his meal sertOUS talk. gemon West. G. C 8.. in The Cornhlll Maga
wlth now and then a mischievous smile, alto- z"z "' < "-
grther engaging. Indeed, it was difficult when
conversing with him. even aft. r be had become A PET MONGOOSE.
a Cabin-t minister, to regard Mmaa »«»"• One of tne most interesting pets 1 had of
Bf-rious 6taU-»man-n glorified schoolboy rail , r ; this ' kmd »-aa a mongoote that «u.s sent me
r - ad >- V 1^ I .'" ! 'f^^^l^nf from the S^ttan O T Lahe.l. an Arabian district
to the fceadsn^- nl. This P.mpl - -li> of £££ »^» fn>m QUr outpoBt of Aden,
speech jii.A pleasant humor. Joined to j. h.gn- s-.ntloned in that very aultry lo
bred COWtesy Wltl Strangers, made him a fa- «» '> I thougbt thin Arabtan variety was
vorite eape laUy with r^m** TalSward SiSer tL^thSel hud seen in India.
his own rtaaa ta England. « n.le, as 1 1 aft r .ad f^^ n) , r , encnanl for snake hunting, the
found, it o;,c-^d uM..in no 1.-s. the d^rs of ;m _ P« only the aworn foe of rats.
fideiice In tte mlnda of in an > JX";^! m i r o 8 5 . n .l other BUC h vermin, but Is also very
whom I brought lo see hlm-niii.ds usuan> .us , ..urklne eegs and I should think, there
thouj . r , that the "Bar
r ■ boring por
rt-P--- • . -Arahy 1 ■'■ ""' ver y l' r '
ulsfy the cravings of the mon
,, ,),.. surrounding shores abound In
ESSSSIt to li^ :> .ilw-.-v'i.!:;.! Beamed a variety of a shells, including those of the
U»^r -he N Ut'.,u\c ( ntury. univalve or conch variety of various »lz<-s
Blunt, in me >.n Whether by mistaktoS these smaller conical
Sheila for egg:; « which 1 •t-;;. mu< d..u!.t». r
RECOLLECTIONS OF GLADSTONE.- Wbethei from Sheer ■ ■usv...in.-ss. thU mongoose
KtLJ i of mIM took great deUght In trying to break
Let me give . • Instance of nis marveUOtts I t nese (hells He would stand with his h'nd
memory. We were discussing ii: 168] tlie con- ' \,.g n apart, and his 1 ;;•-< k t<. the wall or some
version of the !:-.:tU tux into a beer <iuty. wl»i<n , har4 objocf and then, catching the shell i.
he called the greatest financial operation In his , t ween h ls forelegs, he HTOUId try to smash It
life, not even awpttng the rHmpositfoa of the I between his hind le^ against the all or
Income k±\ 1 bad i id him that the estimated R-batever it was behind him. Whenever he
profit of tli' maltster was :; per rent on each ■ w,, U !<l • .'. within bearing, I would only have to
quarter of mult. I am now putting Imaginary | »nock! pock!" the name by whl.-ii j
flgu:. The following <la\ he said: "I uii-i' r- | .]]„,; ; ..,;„ ' Ssilli be would immediately rush up
stand tha'. th.> malster's profit is 4p« r cent." to me and' . rally Jump on my kn-'c W |th a
"No, Sir," I said. '« per <ent." "I certainly I peculiar whir of pleasure that was very quaint
ftepajht lt,*raa*.4'V f 1 " 1 U. turning, to Mr, la neaj At Otne Umes he would try. to rush
BEST THINGS CULLED FROM THE BRITISH MAGAZINES FOR MARCH.
NEW- YOKE DAILY TRIBUNE. SUNDAY. MARCH 18. 1906.
"Well, I've beaten all records this time,"
"Why, I've lived on an apple a day for five weeks."
"Well, that's nothing. I've lived on earth for thirty-five years."
up my lep Inside my pajamas, which v
quite s<> pleasing to f>-> l Lieutenant Colonel
John afacgregor, In Chambers*a Magazli
GAME LAWS IN TflK TRANSVAAL.
In the Transvaal generally the same #ame
laws hold good fur natives aa for white men —
L e., no game may be kill- within the serves,
nor itaide of them without a license, by Rny
person, ho h» white man or Kaffir. All trapping
and snaring: of game is strictly forbidden
throughout the country, as in tho sale of eggs
of game hire's, without Bpe<-i:il permission. These
strict rules work admirably aa regards tho
Kaffirs, who, instead of spending their days In
the pursuit of game or loafing In the villages,
are now induced to devote more time to the
cultivation of the land, the rearing of livestock,
and, ao regards the younger men, to the earning
of wafres in the service of Europeans either
aH private servants or on public works. A very
dry and harren season immediately after the
Inception of the new game laws showed that
the prevention of game destruction had by no
means, as was in some quarters predicted, the
effect of causing the natives to starve, but, on
the intrary, by toning t>n/n to go out to work
and earn the high wages which tlie Katiir al
most invariably receives In the Transvaal, ac
tually r;ii>tt'.l th.-!r standard of living consider
ably. The population of the game reserves, as
a whole, now takes the preservation of the
fauiuL as a matter of course, and there are
few cases of breach of tbe game lawn among
them, nearly all the poaching cases which have
come to ll»rhi being on tho part of persons liv
iriK outsid< or in Portugui territory.— s
Btephenson-Hamllton, in Ulpckwood's MRKa
ENGLAND'S CKDERFED SCHOOL CHIL
The striking evidence gathered by the Royal
Comml <>n Physical Training In Scotland
and the Interdepartmental Committee on Physi
cal Degeneration cannot be Ignored. Physiolo
gists, general ractitloner medical officer of
health Inspectors <>t schools, teachers, were
agreed aa to tha deplorable prevalence of undor
f'-ciinii. The sj.t-ci.it school board committee
of iki»;. reported that the London School Dinners
Association alone gave 122,605 meal* a week to
board school children, of which 110,000 were
giver, free. Yet some districts appear to have
been scarcely touched. Dr. ESlchholz, Inspector
of schools, found that In one school In a very
had district "9fl per «ent of the children are
unable, i>y reason tbetr physical condition, to
attend i" their work i" ; i proper way, while
rj pei rent during sts month« of the y^;ir from
October to March. re<|-:ir>* feeding." i\,. ..;.
mated the number <.f actually underfed children
in London schools as appn sfmately 122,01
If |j« r ..lit Of the elementary school population
This d..»P not over the number of children Im
nroperbr fed. W. H. Libby .said that a feeding
agency in Lambeth coped with Xjoiu la to i.a
THE RETURN OF ARTHUR.
•"Ther* csm» a hark thnt, blotvlnj» fonvanj. bow
Klajr Arthur, llko a njO'l^rn gentleman
Of Btatel!a»t port; and all tho p«onla 1 rtefl.
■Arthur 1» come again, ha cannot die.' "— Tfnnj-ion, Morte d"ArthTin.
P^r cent of th« school children, and in the poor
est districts 25 to 30 per cent. Dr. W. L. Mac-
Kenzle, mi dlcal officer to the local government
board for Scotland, said that in the slums of
Edinburgh a largo proportion of children were
half- starved. I>r. Kelly, Catholic Bishop of
Ross, Lid that In the South of Ireland children
commonly came to school underfed. All the evl
dence went to confirm th<» statement of Dr.
Macnai In Lhe House of Commons (March
"7, 1906) that after thirty years' experience of
schools, first as a teacher and later as a school
board member, he could say that 20 per cent
of the children had not m any way txmeflred in
the general improvement of conditions, and were
in "an entirely hopeless condition a condition
never more hopeless." This, he added, oovered
something like on« mlltion children in the Brlt
ish Isles.— The Countess of Warwick, In Tha
According to a paragraph In "Knowledge,- the
Franklin Institute has awarded a gold medal for
a new process by which Iron can be made to
•grow." Tho process la said to consist In sev
era] times heating tho Iron to a certain critical
temperature and cooling it betwe.cn times, where
by th« astonishing result is obtained of increas
ing the Iron to nearly half aa large again. It !»
reported that two Identical castings were made.
and ona reserved for comparison, while the other
was subjected tr> this new treatment. One side
Of each was machined and polished so that ex
amination of the gralo and structure might be
made, but little difference, could be discerned
exc.-pt In point of size, which was very marked
The Weight of the swelled casting wan Identical
with that of the one with which it was com
pared, but in all other rtspects the metal ap
peared to bo at similar character. After thin,
one is not surprised to learn that Important
practical application* have already be«n found
for the remarkable discovery: Indeed, new uses
suggest themsetarea Inst-mtly to the mind. The
story la so extraordinary, however, thai It may
be an -pt.-'l with some tatton until conflrma
tion is afforded.— Chambers 1 s Magazine.
TRADITION AND SPEECH.
The ceremonies of the Church have suggested
11 ny a phrase and proverb all over Christen
"'• oui own homely "Me can't hold a
«" him" refer to an acolyte holding a
'■' • I ' l '" the singing of the Gospel? Tha <;er
■ •'• ■ ■'■•'_ '■■ Ichl Ihm .las wasser nlcht" seems to
1 '■■' »me thlni and »•> mean "He is not
nl to serve Ihe other's mass." The English as
severation "It's as true h* the Gospel" recalls
'" '' ■ mysterious veneration for the four
Evangelists and for the Gospel Hook Itself Tus
ran peasant* nay -Com' .■ v.,,. Dio" and • 'om'
11 " ! .:' <|l " ) Mrraroentato." "Amen del pie del
altar \\a> Bancho'S phrase. The Italians have
a quaint ; ( version of our -wrong i,, the upper
f tO ?v." ♦ u,° ml nomine Patrls," referring
to tho touching O f the t forehead, at wortia.
THE LAST RESORT TO STOP THE TRAIN.
IN A BOARDING HOUftB.
Hitherto Patient Boarder — Mrs. Starvem, f can stand having hash every day In the weeki
but when on Sunday you put raisins in it and call it cvin?e pie I draw the Unik.
"In the name of the Father" m. making: the
sign of the cross. The true theory of a proves -
•lon (which Is not merely a walk) is enshrlr.od
tn their proverb "Curses are like procession*;
the>y return from whence they set out" — "La
beatemmle f:\nno con.o le processlont, rltomano
donde patlrono." "We still keep the proverb
about "the »Wll hating holy water." "This Is
not one of the sins quo so lavan con ifn bon
dlta (which are washed out with holy wtter)"
says some one In "(ill Bias." The m— n1 is
"This Is not ono of the venal faults whl are
washed out by tho Our Father, as St. Augustlno
tells us, but a grave sin requiring deep repent-.
ance." A jrreat deal of exact theolojry la talked
Incidentally by Spanish grosaips.
There are two more phrases which I must find
room for. "Heaven be his bed" Is Irish, but the
Idea of heaven aa a bed is very general.
Their beds are made In th« heavens hlrh.
Down nt thfl foot of our Kood Lord' a Tinea,
W«el «et about wl' gullflower*
I wot sweet company for to se>,
we read In the most touching of all ballads.
"The kiss of peac« In Paradise" la Irish, too. It
means the final absolutlor and welcome given
to the boul at the end Of Its Journey, from the
llpe of our Lord htmsolf. There Is In It all tbe
Christian poetry, so endlessly dear and be.tutl
ful, so wildly niu»ii-al and rweet. — Rev. R. L.
Gates, In The National Review.
WOMEN'S WAGES IN ENGLAND.
There is authority for the belief that the aver
ago wage of working women U only abo .: Ifl
a week, and though the great Lancashire tuxtilo
trades may yield many happy examples of a
wage of IT'S, or £1, v.<j have to set against such
earnings those of the infinitely raoro BUIMJUM
borne workers, end of the Itttto skilled, who with
some manual dexterity pars readily from oi ■
casual job to another, and who are found . ne
month In an envelope or a paper bat? factory
while durini another they work :it fruit pre
serving or at the ttnntng of food. The budgets
of many of these gtrhi are marvels of Ingenuity
mid e< niui'iiy . tn* management with which the
tiny i.ii tan ■ ts expended la a sermon in thrift to
phllanthrop who lecture on the extravagance
of the poor. After board and lodging arc paid
there is often !■•■> .-. week left, out t>r whl h to
m<-«t every claim for dress, faros and amuse
ment ami payments to trade union or ciui> Vnt
this i<j done, ar.<! only those who examine the
accounts can guess the struggle. But of these
wages, such as they -ir« . th« worker is not >••-
cure, for th< may be docked, almost at th.^ will
of the employer, by flaea and deductkma There
Is a curious survival of custom, prevailing under
a dlffei lndu*;v:.il system. In the employer 1 a
power to make his workers pay for all it.
tarlals which they n« d for work, bo thai nemifea
and cotton, sjas. lighting and warming machin
ery, Um very cleaning ol the room? may be so
provided. Tha pence thua collected by "an un
■crußuloua | enujloyer-jnak^ a, considerable- pum,
and the Ingenuity phovrn In devising explanation
for a sudden rlsa In tha price of cotton, for tM
ample, may bs gathered by the fact that In on4
factory i^d. was aildf«d to the price of all tbf
reels "because of tho war."
Th* plea that a worker ha* .aged" ma*
terial is another fruitful source of niii'isUhHi a
Is the statement that his or her conduct ha
caused loss to the employer : thua we have foun< '
23. <M. deducted from ■ wa sa ol 5... a week fo:
the breaking of a shuttle U a r.et factory, whil
on©, historic instance shows tha: £."> was collected
at Is. a head in a room of or.« hundred girls fo
tn« IneelHn ° £ ■8* '■• '• Unea-legl^d stool. Dia
clpllnary tlr.es abound, and It la consnon knowl
edgs that a higher c.n-.rt approred the declaim
by Which Mae !o-:al btr.^h upheld an employer fo; i
inflicting fines en hia workers because the:
dancod to a h;\rp in tV.* dinner lour.— G. xi
Tuckwell. in Tho Fortnightly Review.
THE DANCE TM ANCIENT GREECE.
A passage In Herodotus tells ts with whs*
oonte:n;>t tho Greeks treated rcere acrobatic
danclnp, and how infer' c»r It wa? considered t4
be to :he higher art. A eertcui Hippocletdasi
hamsg been naked to show oso (f the many ao*
compllshmenta whiv:h antttted hm to become the
husband of th* daughter of tho .yrant of Slcyon*
proceeded to display htmeetf \- the iianuaj and
nuMr.i- commenci l with a atataty lure, ha
then wished to ah vm hla wuutfuful BgOttr, ar.J
an well aid hn succeed that Cllathenes, tha ty«
rant, angrily exclaimed: thw of Ttsander. you"
ri'-vo danced away your maaia^e." refusing to
baya a son-ln-taw who was ta little of an artist
I I • i boaaj of bja mere akllL
Socrates, too, h:>.d greal .u*lko to the "wonder-.
lul trid.s- which dorirer* cou'.d perform wltq
le ' r l " thought tlem very Uirly. What
would have been his dlsgitft cov\,\ ha ht've 3*eq
: our modern contortions— the high kick-*
ing. the Bklrt dance, th.. -«;>'.iv': As In ail great.
art, the Grecka in thetr daiictet made use of me4
cnanical means only !:i s> fur as they ooul<* aaW
, ' l!! ' • »t the Ottsta* ii: s;> -.ration The
I1";'I 1 ";' "I iM not be hampered by any,
■■■\ dimcultiea; \* must be an absolute
>-v.r of 'technlquVrbut nar«? should ha au
jow that '•technique' 1 v be Um and and aim o|
• bj doing .so h. forMta an ciaim to the
'" °» •rtimt In U al and highest sense oi
that much abused u
ig, then, at u •• subject frooi this point
, V" y "'- tculf which separatee
;l; l ' l r ni <lat - ihe Greek dancing. Thi
T"i r ", lt " : - d fthteg esUraty mo3
' Ul!l - 11 '• ' •-y a;i.t pleasing our danc^.
r'7.K" Hi; "," s •■'■— t' 1 ««■• it by having
•nned I r beautli
n the Greek sens*
;. ft ; : ■ it is mechantcaH
;V'« KCSUIri9; tH< bodu » ««pr«aataa of <
■11.' I NuJ