THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF
MARK TWAIN
[IS was ii 1849 I was fourteen
years old then. We were still liv
ing in Hannibal. Missouri, on the
k of the Mississippi, in the
frame house built by my
• five years before. That is,
■ of us lived in the new part,
the rest in the old part back of it —
ie 1-. In the autumn my sister
e .1 party, and invited all the
. ... gea • people of the village. I was
, . ciety, and was too bashful to
. .•;•■ -' ladies, anyway, therefore I
j., c n ot i a tv - st not for the whole
.'.' v .... _. . ■ ufces of it was to be my whole
. h '■ I v the part of a bear in a small
; ';, v play. ! l> be disguised all over in a close
;.V... C 1 • stuff proper fora bear,
About [was told to go to my room
mdpat 01 isguise. and he rea.lv in half an
fc^ ur Isi ' changed my nd; for I wanted
T practise nd that ro m w .- very small,
[oossed ' -'■ unoccupied house on the
. -- tr : M is.ahat house still stands),
■-.iware :':■ ' " - r >' oun B people were also
going there 1 their parts I took the little
f' iC k dave ith me, and we selected a
... .:■ on the second floor We
grtoed •■- 1 '-^ B ave a ■•'■■••
esse .i ■■ :': ' ' pportunity to take refuge
behind a liscovered : .■■.-.•.• ami
|}sogswei n hooks behind the door; but I
j^ootseel Sandy that shut the door;
his the theatricals, and he was
uanHkeh ■ m as I was myself.
Uiat v... reen. with many holes in it
-■■. as [ di there were girls behind it. I
pas not disi thxit tail . If 1 had known.
I O oi dressed in the flood of cruel
ight tl iring in at the curtain less
. 1 rs. 1 '■ '' K>ll "' shame. (Jntrou
;-,;..; •.-. . ; : ns. I stripped to the an and
began my I
I wi< fell
bitkn; 1
.:':■:■ I I '
hit; [«as
■ ibfisb
tation a^ a ■
get fun her •
nents; so I ;
r.yseif fa '
rork v.-.-
J a that 1 1
jreut thing
- : ba4 .
■ rth •• "■■ •
:: the r ■ 1
other on all I
Stndy a] pi
rithenthusi :
xuike i B] ri .
gro-.vled and si ;
ed and snarl ■
loom; ■ i
3tn j hands]
' : ■. i ■- '■:.:
lance v.hh
- beat an
• . ..:: ,ury
;:.:■ ng fn»
toskk I :: i
5 a bear
io, and
:..- p ■■•■:.:
sear oon] I ■
md do be
any dignii
s-ant b
«av; ..: :
I never I
:L.-. !
1 spec
self tO :•• ) 11
Sandy.
rtasdc .
!S' L Tlk^" a that attit v d< X "
ring^* Sam, has you eve, *« a moked her
" No. What is that?"
" It's .1 fish."
"Well, what " it? Anything peculiar about it? "
M ;Vei V suh,y O ubety O udeyis. Dey eats em guts
TlK,w.as a smothered burst of feminine snickers
from behind the screen! All the strength went
of me, and ' toppled forward like an undermined
tower and brought the screen down with my weight
w>rying the young bdies under it. In their fright
they .discharged a couple of piercing scream and
possibly others, but I did not wait to count 1
snatched my clothes and fled to the dark hall below
Sandy following. 1 was dressed in half a minute
ami .un the bark way. I ••■•.■ Sandy to eternal
silence; then we went away and hid until the party
was over. The ambition was all out of me. I could
not have faced that giddy company after mv ad
venture, for there would be two performers there
who knew my secret, and would be privately laugh
ing at me all the time I was searched for but not
found, and the bear had to l>e played by a young
gentleman in his civilized clothes
The house was .-till and everybody asleep hen 1
■ ly ventured home. 1 was very heavy hearted,
ill of a sense of disgrace Pinned to my pillow
l found a slip of paper which bore a line that did not
lighten my heart, but only made my face bum I'
was written in a laboriously disguised hand, and
'• ■ ■■■■ere it- mocking terms:
You proliably couldn't have played bear, but
>■ u played r.irr very well- oh, very, very well!"
Buys Have Sensitive Spots
WE think Ixiys are rude, unsensitive animals;
but it is not so in all eases. Each boy has
•■ r two sensitive spots, mcl it you can find out
It *i, on a Bench .n Wwhtngton Square That I S»» the M,.t o( K..bcn Loau Stevcn.on
• touch them
and you can scorch him as with fire I ■-.•• ;re i
bly over that episode. 1 ex] • the
! be all .ver the village in the morning
Dut l! not so The ■ t i •■•ed to
thetv irlsai ; me. That wasson ■
nt oi my paii
miiin trouble remained; I was under
ing eyes, and . I ls well have be
ind, for 1 suspected all girls' eyes of beinj
I so dreaded. During several weeks 1
ny young lady in the face: I droppe
n i mfu lion « hen an} ■me ■if them smiled upon
■ d gave i nd I said to myself,
"That is one of them!" and got quickly awaj Oi
I ■ • meeting the right girls everywhere; but
i! they ever let slip any betra 1 was not
bright enough to catch it- When I lefi Hannibal
!■ >ur years later, the ■ ■ • ret; 1 had
never guessed those girls mil
do it: n<»i
« »ne of the dearest :md preti I rls in the \
■ iT Ihei in ■ hi >m 1 w ill call
Mary Wilson, because that was not her name. She
Id: !he «n - dainty and
my and exqui ii
ch iracter, and !•■■■■ r, foi ihe i ■ I
to me to be made mil i . ■ I cla\ and right
unapproachable by an unholy ordinary kind of bo>
u pi te<l hi ;'■:■
Half a Century Afterward
Till, ene i hange to ' ti n years
later It was in 1806. I arrived there on my
lecturing trip As I entered the hotel a divine
1 oui of it. clothed in the glory ■■! the Indian
ine the Mary Wilson oi nished
■Mi' h » • tling thing. Before 1 could
recover from the bewildering shock and »p<
I 1 ughi mi\be I had seen an
ritioi '■ "■* :• ■ ■ • he w;i flesh 51
t her Mai