THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF
MARK TWAIN
When the Nevada City Editor Became a Patron of the Duello
] | CTa TEP I* «O!> 6 J
I- - suddenly became a
■fashion in the new Territory of \evada ami
t^^S64 everybody was anxious to have a chance
♦h2r>ew s:n>rt. mamly for the reas4 that he was
15 "thoroughly resjiect himself so long as he
•**- ♦ lulled .>r crippled somebody in a duel or
k2ed or cnppled
*ft£?v- : .:-- '
serving ,s cUv
r^ s . .'.'" ' ... ."
EsJerprise • ■-•: •- ,---
Bxrftwoveari i »as
yrentv-nKH- years o*a.
I t amyous m
L-eral^vays; but I had
SsdV d the
eductions <>: — jt .'£ ir :
- :.■
gifc«etofishtaduel;
1 had so intention t*
p^<S " ■-•■-• 5
but 1 got a certain
unjant ofisatjstacaon
out of fading safe- 1
ras ashamed vi my
g3fcli>eiestpi ihest^i
p-ere ashar.u- : i I me—
but I got al : •:,
enough. 1 ha I always
beeiT accuse n >••! t-«
fcdinf ashamed ol m\ -
set for one thing
another, so there was
D 9 novelty :. r me m
the situation. I bore
it very wea. 'j--; K^ t
v.-ason the staff; K. M.
SU£ These had tried
ta set raxo duels; but
{or the present had
fa:ied. *«« w.iit
ins. Goodman svas tne
(Jwyoneuf as whohad
d.me anything to shea
aeditnpcm ,the paper .......
The rival paper was fhe Virginia Inion. Its
editor for a Little while was Tom Fitch, called the
"silver tongued orator of ist oash — that vas
vhere he c;;:ne frc»rn. He tuned up his • rvm
the editoria! ojlumas of "The Union." and Mr
Goodman invited hii out and modified him with
i ballet I remember the joy of the staff when
Cocrfman's challenge was accepted by F:tch. We
nn late that night; and made much of Joe Good
cam. He vas i <nly twenty-four years old : he lacked
the wisdom « hich a person has at twenty-nine; nd
le was 'ti-> glad of being "it" as 1 ""A'as that 1 wasn't.
He chose Major Graves for his second (that r.arr.e
is aot right but it's close enough"; I don't remember
the Major's name*. Graves came over to -instruct
]>e:n the dueling art. He had been a Major under
Walker, the "gray eyed r::an of destiny," and had
uogot ail xnrougn mat .<....a»r.a.'it nia.i > a^iousicr
ingra.mpa.ign in Centra] America. That fact traces
thr Major. To suv ..... was a MajCr under
Walker, and came out "f that struggle ennobled by
(Talker's praise, is to say that the Major was not
Sedy a brave v.ijin but thai he was brave to the
very utmost limit of that word.
All of Walter's men were hke that. I knew the Gillis
Itsn3.y intimately. The father made the campaign
dder Walker, :md with him one son. They were v
the nKmorable Plaza light, and stood it out to the
Last ara;nst i iverwhelniing Ids. as did also all of the
(Talker men The son was killed at the father s
side. The father received a bullet through the eye.
The old man —for he was an o;d rr.an at the time —
v.ere spectacles^ ar.d the bullet nd one ol the
glasses went into his skull and r'-rnair.f! there.
There vrere sc»me other sons: Steve. George, and
J:m. very young chaps. — the merest lad-, — who
v/ar.ted to ':■•. in the Walter expedition; for they
Lid their father's, dauntless ST/:r:t. But Walker
v/ouldn't- have them: he said it sras a serious expe
d:t:-.Ti. and ao pla c for children.
A Majestic Second
THE Maj r was a majestic creature, with a most
X stately ar.d ........ military
bearing, and be was by nature and txainipg courteous;
polite, gracfful, winning; and he had that quality
v hich I :?:••' k I have encountered m c>::ly one other
T When He Saw That Bird with It.- Head Shot OS. He Faded
B< ' : > ii m land. i ::. . teri >v |v dit \
resides in the eye; and when thai eye is turned upon
.iv. individual or a squad in warning, that is enough.
- that has that eye doesn'l need to go armed ;
n move upon an armed desperado and
in 1 take him prisoner without saying a single
i Bon tiowland do that, once.
slender g iod natured amiable, gentle, kindly
little Leletoi of a man with a sweet blue eye thai
would win your heart when i 1 smiled upon you, or
turn cold anil freeze ;t. rdmg to the nature of
the occasion.
The Major stood Joe v] traighi stood Steve
Gilhs up fifteen paces away; made [oe turn right
side towards Steve, cock his navy six-shooter, —
that prodigious weapon, — and hold it straight down
against his let;, told him that that was the rred
position for the prun.- that th< position ordinarily
in use at Virginia City (that is to say. the <;un traight
up in the air, then : r •■-..■"• slowly down tc> your
man ) was all \vru:is, r . At the v. « rd " hie," y< >v must
raise the gin slowly and steadily to the place on the
...... body that you desire to convinced
Then, after a pause. " Tw< i — thret — fin — st< >\>l" At
the word "stop." you ... ......
V ••.: may give yourself as much time as you please
after thai word. Then, when you fire, you may
advance and go on fini .■ your leisure and pleas
ure, if you can get any ..... ::.
the meantime the other man, if he has been properly
........ is alive to his privileges, is adyan -
... you, .... — and it is always likely th::t
more or less trouble will result.
Naturally, when Joe's revolver had risen to a
level it was pointing at Steve's breast; but the
Major said, "No, that is not wise. Take all the
r:~k> <>f getting murdered yourself, but d-ri't run
any risk 'of murdering the other man. If you sur
vive a duel you want to survive it in such a way
that the memory of it will not linger along with
you ..... of your life and interfere with
your sleep Aim at '-our man's 1<.:4 . hot at the
knee, not above the knee; for those are dangerous
spots. Aim below the knee: cripple him, but leave
tht- rest of him to hi~- mother."
By grace of these truly wise and excellent instruc
tions. 1 ? Joe tumbled Fitch down next morning with
a bullet through his lower leg; which furnished him
a ■■■■•■.• Joe lost nothii but a lock
of hair, which he could spare letter then than he
could now; for when 1 saw him here in New \.irk
a year ago; his crop was gone; he had nothing much
left but a fxihgej with a dome rising aliove
About a year later 1 got my cliance But i -a
not hunting for it. Goodman went •:: t i San Irrun-
5
Cisco for a week's holiday, and left me to be . hief
editor 1 had supposed that that was an easy
berth, there being nothing to do but write one
editorial per day; but I was disappointed in that
superstition. 1 couldn't find anything to write an
article about, the first day. Then it occurred to
me that inasmuch as it was the twenty-second >f
April, 1564, the next morning would be the three
hundredth anniversary
of Shakespeare's birth
da) . and what better
theme could I want
than that? I K'ot the
i yclopedia and exam
ined it and found out
who Shakespeare was
and what he had done,
and borrowed all that
and laid it before a
community that could
not have been better
prepared for instruc
tion about Shakespeare
than if they had been
prepared by art. There
wasn't enough of what
Shakespeare had done
to make an editorial
of the necessary length .
but I filled it out with
what he hadn't done —
which in many respects
was more important
md triking and read
able • ban the hand
somest things he had
really »mplished.
• •■•-.• lay I was in
trouble tgain. There
ere n • more Shake
speares to work up.
1 here was nothing sn
past history, or in the
world's possibilities \ to
■ iak< an editorial out
of suitable that >ni
munity; ....... ■.v.v
but one theme left.
That theme was Mr.
L iird, proprietor >f
"The Virginia Union.'!
Hi edit «r had gon oft to San Francisco too, LnJ
Laird was trying hi band at editing. 1 woke up
Mr. Laird with some courtesies of the kind that
were fashionable im ■:..' ne\vspaj»t*r litoi in
that region, an I he cam back at me the next
day in a most vitrioli way. -'■■ was .hurt by some-
thing [had said about him, —some little thing.
1 don't .remember what it va.- now,— probably
called him a horse thief; or one of those .....
customarily used to descnl>e another editor. They
were no doubt ju^t and accurate; but Laird
was a ver sensitive creature, and he didn't
like it.
\Vaitin£ ii>r the Challenge
SO weexpected a challenge fr 'in Mr. Laird. because
..... rules, according tii >the ■:•■•
of dueling as recoristrui ted arid reorganized and un
proved by the .... whenever
you said a thing ..Sou: another person that he
didn't like; it wasn't sufficient fur him to talk back
in the same offensive spjrit: etiquette require i him
to send a challenge. So we waited for a chalien^ -
waited all day. It didn't come. And a- the lay
wore along; hour after hour, arid :;•■ « halienge arm-,
the buys grew depressed: they lost in-art. H.ii I
was cheerful; I felt better and :■<•::•■■ all the thntr.
They<ouldn;tundersian<lit but 1« ,u!d understand
:t i- was my makethi.t enabled me to be cheerful
v^ :: ;;' I r'J'V'/' I ':.:vT'. 1 ;:' ]p ::: i i i 'V.. . ., :.,. ct .-_
-. ■ ■ . -
queue and 'challenge M: Laird \Vhe:i wi- rea he.l
that decisi ni; theyAiegaii to cheei up; but 1 Ivgan
to lose some of my animation i! .-a ever, Ln entor
jw'Ut-s of this kind you are in the hands oJ your
friends: there :- notrnhg for you :■• d > but to abide
by what they consider tcj be the \>c>\ « our>e. Dag
fjett wn.te a : challenge for me. for I»a K gett h.. i the
language -tin- ri«ht language the convincing
language, and 1 lacked it !>agi£tl poured out a
stream ofunsavnry epithets ut-.t: Mr La:: •!. . h.,rv-- i
with a vigor and veil nn ••: strength calculated to
persiiade him; and Steve Gilli.s. my second, car
ried the challenge; and came back to wait for the
return. It didn't come. The l»>ys were exasper
ated: but f kept my temper. Stc%e carried anothw
chikllehge. H6tter th,:. the ut hoi -nd we v.aited