ThE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF
[Dictated
April ;, 1906]
TH ERE
v. ere sev
eral can
didates for all
the offices in the
gift of the new
M«i ; .- m is or. State of Xeva
da save two, —
l'r.::ed S; :•.• - r and Secretary of State. Xye
K2s certain • . senatorship^ and Orion vests so
--'■- t • gel ■ retarvship ihat no one but him
Ba ;:•• . . - ith one •>{ his sj>asms of virtue
en tie very i that the Republican party was
t raVe r. ■ ti os in the convention, and.
leased ro g •'■-..- ■ invention; He was urged;
ka aL pc: failed. He said his presence
tbee ■.-...-■.■.; ■. unfair and improper influence^
sad tint :: . ; ■ be nominated the compliment
cast coat ■ r.i us a free and unspotted gift.
This aitito i 1 have settled his case for him
* :h >v: furti rt; but he had another attack
c: v.r.-,v :. - • c day, that made if absolutely
i-"- It ha :..; habit for a great many years
1 cfcaage ! :, with his shirt, and his ideas
£■■' :*. :•:::: - the same time. He would be
1 "--■-*■ '. J : :...«•, and the champion of the
'---'■■■ •-'.. : il«i change to the other side for
\ ~-'~~-: ' >:. ■ ition day he suddenly changed
-' ~. a frien T ■ •■: le toward v.hisky, which was
: -- r I' ?-i-r Le, to uncompromising teetotal
•sa..:. : lutely dry. liis friend besought
II in vain. He could not l>e per
s^:-: 1 threshold of a saloon. The
japer.ijext ' ■ '-' contained the list <<i chosen
: mates : me ivas not 2:1 it. He had not
-"•'■ : rich eased when the State govem
r- v '--- --■: • ' er. lie was without an I,occupa
t: ■-• &-. ; to X- done. He put up his
£ — as .-• law; but he jr<>t no clients. It
T-- >'.r. ■-:..■■ \ Lifiicult to 'account for. I can
■ it :i ] were going to guess at a
5 - : ' r "■ Ish that by the make of him he
v r • ' • ' ides of a case so diligently
kr '■'- so ;■: L --, that when he got through
ither he nor a juryj ury would know
n 1 think that his client would
!: - -■- bi in laying his case l^>f<»re him, and
* -•-.■-'■• aid withdraw it in time to save
taseiffros ; ILIc disaster.
J HAD til ■ ■: residence in San Francisco
re the time I have just been speak
°? ' : /'" • t .-- tip from Mr. Camp, a Ixjld
* . .- making big fortunes :n in
;ind losing them again in the
by other speculative ingenuities.
J^EJ^told ■: ■;■. some shares in the Hale &c
£ £ ? Cross - i ;ht fifty .hares at three hundred
c - Ib »ught on a margin, and put up
*-^-::- >.r ;• exhausted my, funds. I wrote
vzanj and ■ ; | him half, and asked him t<< send
aev. I waited and waited. He
:: " '■•■■■'■ - as going -U, attend to it. The
pretty briskly. It went higher
<;'' : .- ; >"-. I : . ched "a thousand dollars a; share:
.■ ■• ::: ->-: :■ - ihfiusand, then to three thousand,
}■—■ /- ■•iv.;. 1 figure. The money did notoome;
•■: By and by that stock took
" ~ ITZ ■ a: '- t gallop down. Then i wrote
:'—'- •/ ' mswered that he had sent the
TS^i ■■■:■■ iid he had sent it to the Occi :
Hotel I b mired for it. They sai-1 it was
: ' :: - : ' • a long story short- thai stock
aSi/ 0 ' iiVr :: ' : ' '■'- feU U ' !<AV thy P rit * l k:i(i
*'"V : - ;r v ' ; - it liegan to eat up •■• margin;
•- r^n it :.. i; K< , tO ut 1 was very badly crippled.
t '^ '■'- "•'- • ■- late I found out what had lie;
. '. ■.■'»*.•■:. m«,aey. Any other human being
-..'.- r - :i "' - :<h. : '.k; but he sent gold. The
j-if .. CitTK 1' r - *in the safe and went on vacaUon;
rt ba I rej»osed all this tune enjoying its
#Z ? !JTt -' '■ ■ dwbt. Another man might have
C""*"* *o telj :;., that the money was not m a
o^^ v.. : . n, ;:i express package; but it never
L^'^^.Mr Qtmp gave me another chance. He
tij-^.r? )". bb y ' <:ir Tennessee land f< >r tv. . » hun died
Bad^jw ,' V/ " ir ■ pay a ]<art of the amount in cash,
toiJr^ :': ' ; ' notes f " r the rest - Hi sc hi •■■ was
aafcS'U iljr '-' II ' t from grape growing and wnie
Strj ' : ''" " ! Europe, settle them on the land.
?W M fi ttto a " !lie «r.i\ving country. He knew
jf^^r r - l^ngaorth thought of those Tennessee
• - -
MARK TWAIN
Orion Clemens, "A Most Strange Creature/ Resumed
grapes, and was satisfied. I sent the contract? and
things to Orion for his signature, he being one of
the three heirs. But they arrived at a bad time, — in
a doubly bad time, in fact. The temperance virtue
was temporarily upon him m strong force, and he
wrote and said that he would not be a party to de
bauching the country with wine. Also he said how
could he know whether Mr. Camp was going to (leal
fairly and honestly ••-:■• people from
Europe or not? And so, without ting to find
out, he quashed the whole trade, and there it fell,
never to be brought to life again. The land, from
being suddenly worth two hundred thousand dollars.
became as suddenly worth what it was before; —
nothing, and taxes "to pay. [had paid the taxes
and the other expenses for some years; but •
dropped the Tennessee land there, and have never
taken any •--■■■- pecuniarily or other
wise, until yesterday.
i had supposed, until yesterday, that Orion had
frittered away the last acre, and indeed that was
his own impression. But a gentleman rived yester
day ---.■:• and brought a map showing
that by a correction of the ancient surveys we still
own a "thousand acres, in a coal district, out of the
hundred thousand acres which my father left us
when he died in 1547. The gentleman brought a
pr<>t>osition; also he brought a reputable and well
to do citizen of New Y< -rk. The proposition was
that the Tennesseean gentleman should sell that
land: that the New York gentleman should pay all
the expenses nd fight all the lawsuits, in case any
should turn up. and that of such profit as might
eventuate the Tennesseean gentleman should take
a third the New Yorker a third, and Sam Moffett
and his sister and 1, who are surviving heirs, the
remaining third
This time I hope we shall get nd oi the Tennessee
land lor good and all, and never hear of it again]
CAME East in January.
* 18(17. Orion remained in
Carson City perhaps a year
longer. Then he sold his
twelve thousand-dollar house
and its ..... for thirty
live hundred in greenbacks at
about sixty per cent, dis
count. He and his wife took
passage in the steamer for
home in Keokuk. At* »ut IS7 j
or '72 they came to New
Y-<rk. Orion had been trying
to make a living m the Slaw
ever since he had arrived
from the Pacific coast; but he
had secured only two cases
Those he was to try free ot
charge — but the possible re
sult will never be known.
because the parties settled
the cases out of court with-
, , r;( ,n Rot a job as proofreader on .jm--<- » ■ .*
Fveninc l'<>si" at ion dollar;, a week »> and •>>
L S to Hartfur.i and vvantcl me £o get h m a
Udn-t need monej t,ut n
Within .<1 tint that was what he was pining tor.
that paper at -iollirs a week, and he was
He V.'it Hit writ* One of H'» Sp«m» of Virtue.
7
mfortabl" But
i • : ■ nd 1 irae.
A new J : I tarted in a
■ ■ - • .: " ell to do
tnd ti ■ ' • bief e< litorship
t three th i ir He v. as eager to •
M; I hing i nings went for nothing. 1
"You an - tei Th ■< pc pie v. U]
They will easily see that you
have i . me; that they can deal v ith j m as
You may last six
• • • .:•■:• Then the; wiU not dismiss
: ■ gem ieman : the
Id flii at an intru I i g
•- ■
IV ■ ■ just so. 1 '•■:■■: h nd bis wife mi
rated 1 k-.- >kuk ■ • ■ ■■ ( hri< m rote fi
• • • ng the i,." : thai he
th ,nghl •. • hat his health needed was the open
air, in some sort of outdoor v] I n; that h:s
father in law had a tri] I ground on the river
border a mile ab eKe tl me sort of house
on it. and his idea vi as to I place and star; a
■ hicken farm and pi ■ uk with chickens and
■ ; • ■ ps butter bui i don t know whether
■ ■ . ... ■ ■ m ot . He
said th ■ I had for three 1 lusand -1-1
• . 1 ■ • nto raise
• ; mthly report to
here I ppeai L 1 it 3 is able t
■- ■ ■ , n the Ke ■ c ■:■!-■ at a dollar
rter a pair But I i appeared that it
■ • ■ .• ■ • • raise the pair. This
■ ■ • . raj ' nd so I let it i:<>.
ing a hundred dollars per
■ .nth by month. Now to
Drioi ■ ■ ' ■ -
he reall) prided him
■ge business ca]
ties 'h< moment he re
ceived the advance of a
hundred dollars at the be
■ g if each m< >nth. he
ent me his note for
.:.*.. and r ith it he
tit of that money,
• hree m >nth ' interest on
the hundred dollars at six
mt. per annum, these
ys for three
• • hs.
As 1 say, he always sent
i detailed statement of
• ; ...- month's profit an I
n the chickens, — at
least, the month's loss . n
the chi ■ md thi> de
tailed statement included
iri >us items of ex
■ ■ • corn t>t the chi< k -
ens. boi its for himseli , and
■ . even carfares
the weekly contribution ■:
tei ent to help out the
n iries •■ hi ■ -'.ere tr\ -
■ . ■ damn the Chinese
. plan not sat. :
i '- . t ■ those people.
1 think the poultry ex
periment lasted al»>ut a
year, possibly two j
It had then i ost me s:x
. I illars.
i (rion return* I to the
v in ess, and 1 sup]
he remained in that har
: 5 and on £ >r the sui -
ceeding quarter i-f a (en
tury; but Ear a my
knowledge goes he was
uin\ a i.i ■ er in n inn and had no clients.
Mi inothei died, in her eighty-eighth year. in the
sumrni i ■ .• - She had saved some money and
■ . • • • me, because \x had come from me. 1
gave it 1 Ori m and he said. ith thanks, that I
had supported him long enough and now he
going to n E thai burden . and wi >uld
hope to pa-, back some ot thai expense and ma; be
. i. ,i it Ai cordingly, he proceeded to use up
thai monei in building •> considerable addition to
the house, with the idea of taking boarders and get
h \V. need noi dweU upon this venture. It
.'.a another of bis failure His wife tried hard \<>
•he heme »vi eed, and ii anybody could
■ made ii succeed she would have done it. Hie
good ■ iman, and van greatb liked She had
a practical ide, and ':;• aid have made that