THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF
From Srsv" f
BIOGR \PH V
of Me
Sept. o, ">5
MAMMA is
teaching
leanahttU-natur
".i! history an-i :>
making a little
collection of in
sectsforber. But
mamma ii-«e> not
allow Jt-an to kill
any insects she
only collects th< >se
insects that are
found <1 ea<] -
Mamma has told
us ail . ] lert ieulari y
Jean, to bring her
all the little dead
insects that she
find?. The other
day as we were
allsftting at sup^
per Jean broke
into the room and
ran triumfantly
up to Mamma and
:■---•■ . ■-. a plate full of dead flies. Mamma
dusked -• enthtisiastically although she with
ci~; :.- :■ ; her amusement. fast then Sour
Hash • ■ . room and Jean bclievine hej hungry
asked Ha: for permission to Rive her the lii«--. Mamma
lia~:. ir - ale d .... | the flies almost immediately
di>, u ;^ ..r
[MOTOAI BE* ■-.. , , O f,.]
SOW Sirs presence indicates that this adven
irrt-dat Quarry Farrhi Susy's Lriography
b ■ itself pretty exclusively with historical
facts; . ■b y hapj»en ts'not'a inatterof muchoon^
rem to tVhen other historians refer to the
Bunker 1 1 monument, they know ii i.s not necessary
tomeiiti.? ..• that monument is in Boston. Susy
recognia itt v. hen she mentions Sour Mash it is not
neoess a ■ ] •••caiize her. To Susy, Sour Mash is the
Bunker j acmument of Quarry Farm.
'»r; h.ivt- some partiality for living flies,
om nanf iead ones; but Susy does not trouble
hasdf to: gize for S-.ur Mash's eccentricities of
taste. '. ijography ivas for us. and Susy knew
that nothi that i>>u~r Mash tni^'ht do could startle
•s or :.. planation. we ln-inj; aware that she was
not ar, ■ - - ,".rv cat, but moving ujjon a plane far
above ihe ■: iic.es and superstitions which are
!*■■ ' ■ catdom.
:On«;: On«; :: Hartford the ilie> were >o numerous fora
t:rne. and . troublesome, that Mr>. Clemens con
onredti* lea ■■: pa\"ing George [the colored l>utk-rj
bemnty on all the flies he mi^ht kill. The children
saw an opportunity here for the acquisition of sud-
Qot •■■ • They supposed that their mother
inertly v. ..:.-, -} to accumulate dead flies, for some
esthetic or scientific reason or other, and they judged
that the more fiies she could the happier she
«wbM be; they went into business with George
<<r. a <■.-,.: .] . ; ■ , r ■ . ' Straightway the dead flies began
to 'arrive b such quantities that Mrs. < 'Semens was
pleased beyond words with the success of her idea.
%Xt, she v.-.is astonished that one house could iur
r:sh so many. She was paying an extravagantly
«izh bounty, and it presently began to look as if
">* this addition to our expenses we were now prob^
iVj 'y jiving beyond our income. After a few days
then- v.-.-ts p..,,. and c-.,mf.,rt; not a fly was <iis-
Wverable ir. the house; there wasn't a Straggler
•=* StflT, to Mrs. Clemens'* surprise, the dead Hies
continued to arrive by the plateful, arid the bounty
expense was crushing as ever. Then she made
pqairy, and found that our innocent little rascals
established a Fly Trust, and had bin ■! all the
'hiHren m the neighborhood to collect Hies on a
tneaji and nnburdensome commission.
"rs Gemens's experience a this matter was a
new boc f., ; her; but the Governments of the world
bad tried it, .- md v.i-j.t over it. and discarded it. every
hil!! -'-enturv since man was created. Any Govern
tn-iii coul'l have told her that the l»est way to in
<Ti Ms<- v;olv<r> in America, rabbits in Australia, and
in India is to pay a l«.unty on their scalps,
int-n every j.atriot goes t<» raising them
jPROSI SUSY'S BIOGRAPHY <»! ME
Sept. io. '•■>s
'•' <,tlj. T rrening <Jara uwl 1 brought down our new
Ma? kibble watrr an.] WK all t>l<-w soaji bubles. Papa blew
tC-V^' ! ' ui/i *^ and lill^J th»-ni with tobacco smoke an<J as
"©« s-hune on them th«-y took very beautiful opaline
;/ '■'""*. Pl! stW> would hold then arid lh«-n let us < atch them
,", '^ rl^nd ond they felt delightful to the touch the mixture
l -»- wnokf- atri water hu-l a singularly plea-ant effect.
■
MARK TWAIN
Soap Bubbles and Child Culture
II i- human life We are blown uj-.n the world;
we float buoyantly upon the summer air a little
while, complacently showing off our grace of form
and our dainty, iridescent colors: then we vanish
with a little puff, leaving nothing behind but a
.... — and sometimes n> >t even thai I sup
pose that at those solemn times when we wake in the
deeps of the night and reflect . there is not one of u^
who is not willing to confess thai he is really only a
soap bubble^ and as little worth the making.
I remember those days of twenty-one years ago;
and a certain pathos clings about them. Susy, with
her manifold young charms and her iridescent mind.
was as lovely a bubble as any we made that day, and
as transitory. She passed, as they passed, in her
youth and beauty, and nothing of her is left but a
heartbreak and a memory. That long vanished
day came vividly back to me a few weeks ago, when,
for the first time in twenty-one years. I found myseli
again amusing a child with smoke charged soap
bubbles.
Susy's next date is November 29th; 1885; th*: eye
of my* fiftieth birthday. It seems a good while ago.
I must have been rather voting for my age then ; for
I was tryii to tame an old fashioned bicycle nine
feet high, li is to me almost unbelievable, at my
present stage <>f life, that thei have really lieen
people willing to trust themselves upon a dizzy and
unstable altitude like that, and that I was one oi
them. Twichell and i took lessons every day He
succeeded and became a master of the art of nding
that wild vehicle: but I had no gift in that direction;
and was never able to stay on mine long enough to
get any satisfactory view of the planet.
Every time [ tried to steal a look at a pretty girl;
or any other kind of scenery, that single moment oi
inattention gave the bicycle the chance.it had been
waiting for and I went ..... of it and struck
the grbund'on my htiidor my back before I had time
to realize that something was happening. 1 didn t
always go over the front way,-- i had other ways,-
and practised them all; but. no matter which way
was chosen for me. there was always one monotonous
result —the bicycle skinned my leg and leaped up
into the air and came down on top 1 me. Some
times its wires were so sprung by this violent per
formance that it bad the collapsed look of an um
brella that had had a misunderstanding with a cy-
clone. Alter each
<lay's practice I Itr
rived at home with
my skin hanging »'
ribbons, from my
knees down. I plas
tered the ribbons <>n
where they bel« »nged,
and bound them
there with handker
chiefs steeped in
Pond's Extract.'and
was ready for more
adventures next
day. It was always
a surprise to me that
1 had so much kin,
and that i 1 held out
so well: There was
always plenty, and
I s<«>n came to un
derstand that the
supply was going
to remain sufficient
for all my needs. It
turned out that I
had nine skins, in
layers.' one on top of
the other like the
leaves of a book, and
some of the doctors
said ii was quite re
markable.
I was full of en
thusiastn over thi
insane amusemeni
\! . teacher was a
voting German from
the bicycle tactoryj
—a gentle, kindly, ..
patient creature, with a patheUcalh '^£«^
never smiled; he never made a remark; he always
eathered me tenderly up when I plunged off, and
helped me on again without a word. When he had
beeS teaching me twice a day for Xh T\l'
introduced a new gymnastic.-one that hi had
never seen before, and so at last a compliment ua^
wrung from him. a thing which 1 had been risking
my life for days to achieve He gathered me up
and said mournfully:
-p, M U|,.> Hm >ap Buhlo and Filled Them w. .th TafclßCO Sm..W<:
5
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I WISH 1
-
r cum« ii
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never allowed herself to punish us when Mie was angry with
u> she never struck us because she mn enoyed at u» and
felt like striking us ii we had been nauty and had enoyed
her, ithai ihethoughi he felt or would show the 1.-.i t l.i«
of temper toward us while punnishing us, she alwa\ i posi
poned the punishment until she was no more < hafed by our
behavior. Sheneverhum iredherseM by rtnking or punish
ing v., because or while she was the least bit enoyed with us.
' Kir very worst nautinesses were punished by being taken
to the bath-room and being whipped by the paper cutter.
But ••,-•■ whipping .-., >%-er, mamma did not allow us