THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF
TDictateo March 12. 1006]
I HAVE always taken
I a great interest in
*■ other people's duels
One always feels an abid
ing interest in any heroic
thing which has entered
into his own experience]
Ie 1878. fourteen years after my unmateriahzed
Sad, Messieurs Forui and Gaxnbetta fought a duel
tiki slack- heroes of both of them in France: but
nade them rather ridiculous throughout the rest
of the -world. 1 v.as living in Munich that fall and
wxter. and I v- ; ,> so interested in that funny tragedy
fia I -wrote a long account of it: and it is in one
tf my books, somewhere, — an account which had
irae'isaccurack-s in it. but as an exhibition of the
spirit of that dueil I think it was correct and trust -
*tt±t. And when I was living in Vienna, thirty
i'Jsr years after rriy inefTectual duel, my interest in
tia'- kiad of incident was still ■-:._■ and I find
bere among mv autobiographical manuscripts ot
lint day a chapter which 1 l>egan concerning it, but
adaut'fiuish 1 wanted to finish it; but held it open
Bfl« hope th;r. the Italian Ambassador. M. N'igra,
snd time to furnish me the full history ot
Seaor Cavalotti^ adventures in that line. But he
*as a busy man ; : here was always an interruption be
fe^he could get well started; so my hope was never
f-dSUed The I .Bowing is the unfinished chapter:
AS concerns dueling This pastime is as common in Aus
* tna to-day a* it -in France: hut with this difference
ft* hot in the A-j -n;.n States the due! is dangerous, while
■ France it is not. Here it is tragedy, in France it is
onecy; here it is a solemnity, there it "is monkey shines
■*ti*daelist ris] bis life, there he does not even
™> ks shirt Here :.>- fights with pistol 01 sal*?r.
a L u-.—.r.n— a blunt one. Here the
osperadywoun :-.■■': 'man tries to walk to the hos
gj&l;tiere they paint the scratch so that they can
r^ r '»?am. lay the sufferer on a stretcher, and con
gWlriaioff the field frith a band of music.
-•theeac of a French duel the pair Kg and kiss
ffi - cry. anj praise each other's valor: then the
ssjwns nuke ar: • ■:■. ; m:natiun and pick out the
" ' ■-. one. ar-i •.::.- .aiier one helps him onto
better and pays lis fart-: and :n return the
pitched one Heats to champagne and oysters in
««evea:Eg. And " •-• n "the incident is closed.'
fc *JH French say [1 is all polite. and.gr:«cious.
.'"'■ imjjresave. At thi-end of an Aus-
P? «H the ar.ta^ :.;st that is alive gravely offers
•. • • '/th ••: ?r.an. ufreri me phrases of
.* !rais regret, then bids h:m g-»o<l by and goes
? *"iy, and that incident alwj is close«i The
-rocs duelist :- painstakingiy protected from
r^by the rales oi the game. His antagonist's
J2?ftaswt reach so far as his Ixjdy; if he get
'-I?*' n w ' ; '" r-r -' ;t '•"' lj <» y e h - s ellww. Bui in
Sj*** &c rnles of the game d<> not pr> ;vide against
f~^'- tter carefully provide for it. usually
g^nh/ue ccmlat must be kept up until one
♦■•taesis <jibai»;.-'i : a non-disabling blash or
him.
j£* * matter of three months I watched the
-~ese joxirTi^l-. and whenever a duel was re
r?S* a the:r telegraphic columns I icnpbooked
sC ! ' !;2SIer "'i i mad that dueling in Austria
j ~ to journalists and old maids, as --n
- V ' Oat !S indulged in by military men. jour
i - students, physicians^ lawyers; members of
Wt B"*'8 "*' ai;d'c-ven the cabinet, the bench.
iJueiing is forbidden bylaw; and
tarfS?? 4*4 * XX '' ■"*"' Tke «aalo=n and admimstra
« we laws dancing on their work in this way
iS nOC . Tils a ?° Count Bodeni. at that time
W^fl, oftht '"•■"' vemrnent. fought a pistol duel
JSjhT, ca JJ r-r -* a i City of the Jimpire with Kep
%T"* K<M, ar,.l'lx,th -.f those distinguished
'-W!?^ """^ n '- i! " getting turned out of the
l *as* 1 the as well as the State for
tsti^A*'* :rj Hunparj-. the p->lice mtcr
■ slj M*-'i a duel after the first innings
tad t v a ha5 ' cr du<:l between the chief of police
i '*Btk i Ot *i aUorr « - y- L'nkind things were said
lei «SEutL tat ' IleWs liiI iil ll > «'a. They sai.l the police
the. ,^r^ 'i'vir duty uncommonly well when
.' '-"""-'^is v.ere ••!*-■;• concerned in
had-J?? J thlllk the underling! showed go<«i
Otrvri / utt * T judgment. If their suj«;nors had
<Jth(rr w " n - the public would have
•bey' hi We , *"* the pohce? and their places
»at rw ~; c lj^- r - endangered : but custom does rTT -« r
■a ;' , t&CTri ll '' !j f aroun-j where mere unofficial citi-
H^^Wtmingatlunj; Wlt h sabers.
"aißtdii S iin '' ti "--'- duel— a double duel— going on in the
Mk*os "?«M»ori»ood at the time, and in this case the
J^iflJtvr poaom md did not disturb it. Their bread
"•^t Tl *^ v " 1 ul s^ke here. In this duel i physician
■-•. - ,'*'■■'■' uf '- T ;- ■ and wounded both,— one of
to «*(*b!r } *: l i ie oth< - r seriously. An undertaker wanted
•tea pie fr^ interfering, but that MM quite natural
C^|S!Si ! tn Ui .i. J m from my record. I next find a duel
In l«90
MARK TWAIN
Other People's Duels; A San Francisco Incident
at Tarnopol between military men An officer of the Tenth
Dragoons charged an officer of the Ninth Dragoons with an
offense against the laws of the car<l table There was .1
defect or a doubt somewhere in the matter, and this had to
be examined and passed upon by a court of honor So the
case was sent op to La .erg for this purpose One would
like to know what the defect was: but the new-;...; does
... A man here who has fought many duels and has
a graveyard, says that probably the matter in question
was as to whether the accusation was true or not . that it
the charge was a very grave one. — cheating, for instance. —
proof of its truth would rule the guilty officer out of the
field of honor- the court would not allow a gentleman to
fight with such a ;>erson. You see what a solemn thmg it
is yon see how particular they are any little careless
act can lose you your privilege of getting yourself shot. here.
The court seems'to have gone into the matter in a searching
and careful fashion: for several months elapsed before it
reached a decision. It then sanctioned a duel, and the
accused killed his accuser.
Next I find a duel between a prince and a major first,
with pistols.— n<j result satisfactory to either party,— then
with sabers. — ad the major badly hurt.
Next a saber duel between journalists. —the one a strong
man the other feeble and in poor health. it was brief
the strong one drove his sword through the weak one, and
death was immediate. f
Next a duel between a lieutenant and a student ot
medicine According to the newspaper report, these are
the details : The student was in a restaurant one evening.
Passing along, he halted at a table to speak with some
friends Nearby sat a dozen military men The student
conceived that one of these was " stanng" at him .he asked
the officer to step outside and explain. This officer and
another gathered up their caps and sabers and went
out with the student Outside.— this is the student sac
count _ t h e student introduced himself to the offending
officer and said. " You seemed to stare at me For uumn
the officer struck at the student with his fist. The student
parried the blow. Both officers drew their sabers and at-
Then Hi-. Melancholy Eye*
Fell Upon Captain O.born.
and a Ught of Glad Recog
nition FU»hed from Them.
i i the vount! fellow, and one of them Rave him a wound
on C the Wt "am"" ihen they withdraw. This was Saturday
:, Mm.h.v. ... th. -iii.lit.iry^ n.li» X
i!KS?«e» h.n,-'or show The ,tu.lent n. hit. He
put his hand on his breast, his body began to bend slowly
forward, then collapsed in death and sank to the ground '
TT is pathetic. There are other duels in my list : but I find
1 in each and al! of them one and the same ever recurring
defect: the principals are never present, but only their
sham representatives. The real principals in any duel are
not ■ie duelists themselves, but their families They do
the mourning, the suffering : theirs is the loss, and theirs the
misery. They stake all that the duelist stakes nothing but
his lite, and that is a trivial thing compared with what his
death must cost those whom he leaves behind him. Chal
lenges should not mention the duelist, — he has nothing
much at stake, and the real vengeance cannot reach him.
The challenge should summon the offender's old gray
mother, and his young wife, and his little children. — these,
or any to whom he is .1 dear and worshiped possession, —
and should say, "You have done me no harm: but I am
the meek slave of a custom which require me to rush the
happiness out of your hearts and condemn you to years of
pain and grief, in order that I may wash lean with your
tears a stain which has been put upon me by another
person."
The logic of it is admirable a person has robbed me of a
penny: I must beggar ten innocent persons to make good
my loss. Surely nobody's "honor" is worth all that'
'Since the duelist's family are the real principals in a duel.
the State ought to compel them to be present at it. Cus
tom also ought to be so amended as to require it and
without it no duel ought to be allowed to go on. If that
student's unoffending mother had been present and watch
ing the officer through her tears as he raised his pistol, he —
why. he would have tired in the air. We know thai . for
we know how we are all made. Laws ought to be based
upon the ascertained facts of our nature. It would be a sim
ple thing to make a dueling law which would stop dueling
As things are now. the mother is never invited. She sub
its to this: and without outward complaint for she too
is the vassal of custom, and custom requires her to conceal
her pain when she learns the disastrous news that her son
must go to the dueling
field And by the power
ful force that is lodged in
habit and custom she is
enabled to obey this try
ing requirement. — a re
quirement which exacts a
miracle of her. and gets it
T AST January a neigh
bor of ours who ha a
young son in the army
was awakened by this
youth at three o'clock one
n orn'ng. and she sat up
in bed and listened to his
message :
"' I have come to tell
you something, mother.
which will distress you
but you must be good and
brave, and bear it I have
been affronted by a fell
officer, and we fight at
three this afternoon. Lie
down and sleep, now.
and think no more a out
it."
She kissed him good
night . and lay down par
alyzed with grief and tear,
but aid nothing, But
she did not sleep; she
prayed and mourned till
the'tirst streak of dawn,
then tied to the nearest
<_hurch and implored the
" Virgin for help; and from
that church she went t.»
another and another and
another. — church after
church, and still church
after church, — and so
spent all the day until
three o'clock, on her knee .
in agony and tears; then
dragged' herself home and
sat down comfortless and
desolate, to count the
minutes, and wait, with
an outward show of • aim,
for what had been or
dained for her happi
ness, or endless misery.
Presently she heard the
clank of ,■ saber,— had
not known before what
music •a .1 in that sound,
— and her son put hi,
head in and said:
X: was in the wrong, and he apologized."
So that incident was dosed: and for the res of her life
the mother will always find something pleasant about the
clank of a saber; no doubt. . , hr :.
: In one of my listed duels- However, let it go there- i.
nothing particularly striking about it, except trut the
seconds interfered; and prematurely too for neither man
was dead. This was certainly irregular Neither of the
men liked it. It was 1 dud with cavalry sabers, between
an editor and a lieutenant The editor walked to the hos
pital, the lieutenant was carried In this country an editor
r