Newspaper Page Text
When Bug Hooper Got By
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J-I- had camped down in my <le=.k chair, with his
legs crossed, one elbow resiin' on the inkstand,
an«i he's sprinklin' the rutr with ashes off a cigar the
s:ze (if a mailin' tu!>e; >«« [ knows he feels perfectly
it home.
Did I hear you mention." say-; I. "that you was
iii' for int'f "
"We-e-e-oujjh!" say.-, he. lettin' <<ut a sound like
a steam siren an<! jumpin' uj> with hi> hand out "I
reckon you're Shorty McCabe. Well, now! Little
Cuss, .rir.'t you? Sho' Put 'er there!"
it was like holding your ear to an automobile
horn while some one dances on the l>ult>. and you
could have '.. trd -.:■. from the subcellar to the roof.
"Pleased to meet you." say^> I. "Let's see your
name is — "
iiooi»er." says he. " Bug Hooper."
' Ah!" says I *Si«ell it with a \Y, do you?"
'Ha.v, haw!" - he. "No. not Whooper; but
Hooper. I'm a partner of somebody you know right
veil Heard of Hank Merrity, eh?*! '
of Bedelia?'* says I
"You liet!" says he.
Maybe you remember my tellin* you how
Hunk and Mrs. Hen came East after
the J.ivhawker ltegan to pan out so rkh,
and how they discovered Peacock Alii •;. .
and why they went back? Anyway, this
Mr. Hooper was a the mine ownin' husi
ness with Hank. He says it over four tnne^
in as many minutes, roarin' it out like he
thought my eardrums want workin'.
"All right.*" says I. 'Any friend of
Hanks is a friend of rail Remember
•ac to him when you jjet hack Glad you
•iropjjeii in; but i expect you're so busy
- the town that—"
"Busy!" sayshe. "Why, I ain't got a
aad blamed thinj; to do except get ac
quainted with you Know what Hank
fays tome the last thing ? ! Bug,' says he,
« you come !>ack without getting to
,1 W my old friend McCabe 111 shore
pitttthard.' And you know how Hank
i». ehr"
.^ts, i knew. He's as sensitive as a
Bcaooigni. and the quietest man for his
are 1 ever ran acr ,, s^ .\l-,o this Mr. Bu
»^l*r is the noisiest; And somehow I
•'U-r can seem u»get up much enthusiasm
mLfe V-" ri " <: '" : ' •!-•>■ Mr Hooper
ragh 1«- all ri«ht. und have his good
P«ats; but I couldn't help wishinVhe'd
SS! ' mi hl \ '•'"•"•Mnp in sendin" me
picture postal that 1 could drop w the
*-J ate basket.
81,B 1 ,' 1 ' th;it , -' ti! ''t his style He explains
tot be s spent thr,- .lav, around town.
ctosui a Uv A deal fora lot ofnew or,- stamps
Wd cyanide tanks and so on. and how
,t t r? ,'" l 'T of a bun hof frt^ spenders
S t« C fe lhe ina.-luuer> concerns to
tain him Xo;v thal h^'= Placed his
kittle" h ?h? h - ' tnd ,, t!l " t^pMky comi
si^__has been call off. he means to
have a couple of days' fun in his own
way, and dispense some of his own .. <.m
in doin' it.
And f or the partic'lar style of Indian
he looks to !«.•. his j>ro<^ram ain't so
v. iM and woolly. It consists in ■li.tr
terin' the biggest and vividest r>lored
tourin* ear la- can pick up on Gasolene
Row, and havin' himself run around
town, with stops now and then to throw
in a pony <>f St. Louis or light up a
fresh fifty-cent <!t;ar.
Mr Hooper says the machine i>
waitin" outside now, and his proposi
tion is that we should finish the after
noon j;oin' up and down Fifth-aye and
Broadway^ just lookin' at the show.
Well, I could figure out who'd be the
chief jK-rforniers; hut ! uldn't dodj^t.
doin' that much on Hank's account:
So down stair.-, we trails, and piles
into the hack seat. while Bug pa^se.-*
over .t gold banded perfecto to the
chauffeur and tells him to roll us out amon» the
nobility.
Hi >',',' rl ies Life in the gi
j ,- of beii : ible Like it, or p
B ' U'liy. ::
.-.,,. Pearh Gati ettlement ha: got anything on
■in- town :: i ■ " : ' i '- : - l '' i
■ . • ■ f I ail
iese poor paid ministers Mia' are »t»re ■:
ion' Why, they won't know how to act
.■ ■ •. Now the pro • ■ re J
,11: but if I should < han< eto make it, 111 i
I've ha.i ome training Ha ■■ . haw!" and Bug >«-p
himself from .. mirthful snort that bring
; , up in his stirrups lookin
• •!!.- explosion was. All the wa\ up the a
seps ui\ni' me d : Xl ' A '""''■
to him and what a barrel oi fun he's had
Talk aboul fan< ■ eatin'!" says he "We think
■ !i. Delia thai Lee I inn, head grub ru tier a 1
Hank's, is mighty skilhi! and Ulented when it i ome
••> building a six-tier dinner; but, ..>■ . J had a meal
the other night that made Ixe Chin's best o?Ver look
likv .i stand-up snack at a mule <irr. ci' itopovei
And flourishes! Well, I don'l rare if my eyes did
;tick ";'.! like knobs on a pair of hames, whole
band playing in the gallery, a stream of real
i tumbling down over a staircase "f solid Ljlas-,
,;:■! the ceiling painted up to imitate the stair)
firmament, with genuine twinklers in it How do
. .ii reckon the table was !n up? From underneath!
!!•>;:,• -.! ' Top ■■ i . md the electrk light
By Se\^ell Ford
The Chauffer Sits There Gawp.n" at U» Like He Thought WeM Gone Dippy
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D, IVIII|I , h> t Viu, WUsofl
■ U lelia?"
Mr Hoc»per •
ith him '■ ■ work
your <:■■ nptioi H i I
il. .••• n here "
\'.- . but somehow Hai re oj New
| | 1 an ' a r it no
Why, Hai ' d find the
Id pi ■ i; j
have been treated whiter if 1 was vi itinj> home It
.:• to lun< h '"•uh the general mai
one day, and to dinner and the theater with the '• ■ -
ol the lie departnu ni at night, and so on I
; • :■■! - here and there, •
ii. but thai didn't couni with those boys
Tii ,.. . . 4 !.,.| :,. see me Said so
And hone I the friendly way they used me made
I ■ omfortable a ii I was back in the smok
ing ;.arior .! Me- Bullfr.jg hotel It a fir I class
town that's what I full of first class people,
..:he in :■ ler their ribs, as well as
good lothes on their backs Look at 'em! Don I
,how up for that?' and Mr Hooper waves one
hands out toward Fifth-aye. in general,
while mouth of his spreads itself in a
smile • i have doi* for the whole member-
A\ i> .•. i.., .v , [to tatter Ih< dn im? It's a
: , ■ lo try to make our out vi
town ■! ens feel like they was among friends '1 hey
i ome ■•!. here froi that have gone dn .
. rung reg'lar, and from
Main streets where they an'l drop into the back
room <>t •- •'■'■ for a game ol bottle pool
without being reported m> the choir leader <t the
Mothers' Club But there in the M-<-.i catalogue and
r>rder districts they figure a> bank directors,
an i lice president ol the board ol trade, and right
worth) £iand ma iters, and they have t<> liw up to it
But once Mr Buyer ha followed the bellhop into
.;.•,. and found out how to \\.>rk the patent
faucets in the bath room, and slicked the hair over
,M ipot, and got a peek down at Broadwa) .
runnin' northwest b) wuthea I as far as the eye
.-, it begins to dawn on him that he's a !<>n^
ways from home, with the cable cut That coltish
feelin' gets into his heels, and inside <>l an Imur h< '>
askin' confidential of the room clerk what's :Ik
hottest show in town It's a deal <>n his ac
that we bum the white lights so late, and build
so many new lobster palai
So I can get Mr. Hooper's point "i view easy
enough H< - comes on lure a willin" yielder, read)
••> dis onne I him <-h from the outer layers ol v roll
