Newspaper Page Text
Are Guests of
President, His Cabinet and
Washington Leaders Are
Butt of Burlesque ?ils
al Annual Spring Dinner
V?H- Press Leaders Attend
^Simplicity and Economy"
Mark Inangorat?on of tbe
Organization's New Head
From The 7V,',,.?/* W?*hino<? Buftwu
-WASHINGTON, April 9.- President
4 rding and the t?n members of his
Eabinet, all guests of the Gridiron Club
ft its spring dinner hero to-night.
matched with apparent relish a bur-j
Jesqu? on the Florida houseboat period!
?f Cabinet making.
The guests entered the bic ballroom ,
%f*t??S Willard Hotel, where the ban- ?
as held, through an ante-chara- !
,, ., which had been converted'into a
4 e?e reminiscent of the Evorglades. !
Disturbances started with the very
jcginning of the dinner. No sooner j
tvere the guests seated than the tramp- j
ing of heavy feet and the rattling of |
dinner pails was hoard outside the ;
joora. "Move along, there. Hurry up!" \
.- outed a voice, followed by another,
ich declared "Your loafing days are;
o? ? r. No swivel chair goes with this j
'?(Jet that pick handle out of my i
I,,4" shouted another voice, while Still
Another warned some one to "keep that )
4 ?v.-l off my toes!"
; g presiding officer demanded an j
'That dismal sound. Mr. President."
f inie the answer, "is the Democrats go?
ing to work."
An impresssive feature was the in?
auguration, with "simplicity and econ?
omy," of N. 0. Messenger, of The Wash- ;
P'.gton Evening Star, as president of!
the Gridiron Club. The inauguration
committee, attended by a presumptive !
? hief Justice and Clerk of the Supreme ?
'. turt, appeared and conducted the in-j
,. igural ceremonies in pantomine to the ]
\ :companiment of emphatic "'hushes'' j
to preserve silence. A group of sob- I
ting citizens of Washington viewed
the ceremony from the side lines.
Silence Breeds Curiosity
'What is going on up there, any- ?
cow"." shouted a member from the end
?f the room. "We can't hear a word."!
"S-s-s-h-h-h!" replied a member of;
?he committee. "We have just inaug
?rated Mr, Messenger as president of!
the Gridiron Club."
?How much did that inauguration!
','S-s-s-h-h-h," was the reply. '-Thirty ;
ttents, bjt don't tell Senator Borah."1
"What is th.u bunch crying about'."'j
asked another member.
"That." was the reply, "is :; com- .
cuttee. o: leading Washington "'lusi
f.ess men. They arc not crying. They
?re trying to give three heers for ?
?imple and economical inauguration." '
Carter Field, of The New York Trib?
une; Jay G. llayden, of The Detroit
Kews, and Robert B.Armstrong, of The j
?os Angeles Times, were initiated as ?
active members of the club and
Arthur B. Pierce, Fred East and J. F. I
?I. Bowie were initiated as associate ?'
?embers during the evening. All had ;
k> submit to a rigid cross-examination <
?s to their qualifications, in which it ?
appeared that each aspired to be a
?member of President Messenger's
"Is Hiram Johnson backing you?"
??as asked of Mr. Armstrong.
"No," was the reply. "Johnson is
?gainst me. That is one of my best
Asked why 'ne wanted to be Secre?
tary of State in the Messenger admin
Jhtration, Mr. Armstrong said, "Moro
unkets abroad and fewer dry dinners
f "Have you any qualifications for the
' "At least one," said Mr. Armstrong.
?"! can't get elected to anything."
? ''Yes," said the chairman. "1 know.
?hat's the rule."
Field Wants to Boss Mails
Mr. Field aspired to be Postmaster
Ceneral. Asked if he could improve
?he mail service, he answered, "I don't
lee how I can make it worse. 1 can
improve the personnel."
Mr. Hayden insisted that he ought
t.s be Secretary of Tabor. "1 thought
5!! you Michigan people wanted to get
ito the Senate," said the examiner.
"No," said Mr. Hayden, "it costs too
During the evening the dinner was
^?terrupted by the sound of a steam?
boat whistle and the ringing of engine
foom bedls outside the dining-room,
?What's all this racket about?"
??Senator Frelinghuysen'o yacht, Vic?
toria, with the President-elect on
board, is stuck in the mud again. They
have to wait for high tide to floatthetii
?if. Passengers and crew are coming
umh?re," was the reply.
Jolly Sailors Arrive
In tripped the party, including Skip
?Pcr Frelinghuysen, Secretary George
Christian, a reporter, William Jennings
Hryan, a Kentucky colonel, a man from
?Marion and General Dawes.
In lyrical fashion and in dialogue
'hey related some of the troubles of a
I he Kentucky colonel asked George
iThriatian who is to be appointed Com
\ ;.-sioner of Internal Revenue. "You
said the colonel, "the prohibi?
do m st? have taken most of thv joy out
el life, but we have a few rays of sun
inirte down in the mountains of Ken?
tucky and Tennessee."
"'hey are synonymous, suh. We
tope the new Administration will have
* heart, and not disturb the little pri?
Hereupon the colonel burst into a
moonshine B0i0> the conciuSiou 0f
which was interrupted by the entrance
?1 Genera! Dawes, with'some charac?
The General explained that he was
? ?i; ..:ro>" Washington, where ho had
?tit those blithering idiots who were
investigating War expenditures. Told
vm^vhere to head ir.."
4?p? , .
?US? or cry, and I didn't cry.
And the General Sang a Song
fhereupon the General lifted un his
^??in song, thus:
ftiflni? iv.MhIft*toa T BSt
?ti?J i!LVon*'eMmw' lho tascm
t ? , 1 x>'yuv-: to the queatiun? on the war;
l?a? careful to t>? calm,
? "'???'-??'?'???.-illy a damn
w?i lato tny testimony?nothlr-.jf more.
?"fuaK t. Choru?!
<i?a-'?.i 'sh' huah- ?hc ronenH? tmrtn?;
?r'l.V'i? '"'? iU,ci ea*y ?t.vl?5??lama, d??mn.
>?, ,a ??'y cut her loo(i-j
?Ae pa?ii "?t""?1? would use
? . ,';'', '"??' lua i>re?out record by a mile,
'flic man from Marion also had a
Jin ??" hl* homo town- Tll?>n William
?""ings Bryan, or his, prototype, to
m, i?lc of "Li?tle Buttercup," offered
An*; Chr*stian for the President a
?mewhat shopworn collection cf poli
*tr\Vsd idcas' deluding what he de
i,.1"''(l as "A bully foreign policy,"
fS dry plank left over" from Sun
Francisco" and "A crackorjack labor
The "Patro?ag? National Bank" wa**?
opened for business in full view of the
diners, and n. line of customers with
Cheeks to cash appeared. Ono of these
tried to cash a cheek signed by Frank
ft. Hitchcock, calling for a fourth ?.las-*
postmasterahip. Payment was refused
after some delay in trying to identify i
Mr. Hitchcock. "Oh, now I remember '
him, ' said the bookkeeper, "Why, ho j
hasn't had a nickel in this bank since
it was reorganised last winter."
A check signed by Senator Wads- \
worth on tho New York joint account
hkewise WHS refused. The teller ex
) lained that "when Senator Wndsworth
draws a check Senator Calder tele?
phones to stop payment, niitl when Sen?
ator ('aider draws a cheek Senator
Wndsworth stops it."
A small check signed by Vice-Presi
dent Coolidge was rejected on tho
?cround that hi? account had been
closed for him after he had drawn "a !
private secretary and one chair at the I
foot of the table." Forgery was de?
tected instantly when a check signed !
"Herbert Hoover" and indorsed "Hiram |
Johnson" was presented. The customer
escaped before the police could arrive. ;
An individual representing himself >
?s a politi',*al astronomer, accompanied :
by n student, appeared. Using an as- j
tronomical shart, the astrologer ex?
plained that "there are two great con- I
stellations in the political heavens.
The members of the constellation on
the right," said he, "do not revolve
?round the sun. They revolve around !
"Pull must have great attraction," j
said the student.
"Yes, sir; bull is absolutely fasci- !
?athig to most political ?tars." '
Tho constituent elements of the po- ;
litical satellites of the bull were de- ?
clared to be. gas and crust.
The second constellation, it appeared,
contained one great sun. "That," the i
astronomer said, "is the new sun in the !
politic*, heavons, culled Warren Gam- !
alie!, formerly ?he Marion Rtar."
"It seems to shine steadily and with- '
out wabbling." I
"That," said the astronomer, "19 due ?
to a peculiar property it possesses I
"It attracts attention instantly."
"Yes," went, on the astronomer, "a.
Bill Nye once said, 'the oye of the
world is onto him.' "
Various large planets revolving
around Warren Gamaliel were declared
to be cabinet planets, though not necea- i
sarily fixed stars.
"Read Robert Lansing's hook on 'fall- !
ing stars,'" said the astronomer. They
are held in their orbits by gravity,
which the astronomer said was another
name for "pull." "It is fundamental,
political, astronomical law," he went on,
"that the nearer the sun the greater
Continuing his lecture, the astrono?
mer said that the way to distinguish
between the two constellations,' the
Hull and Warren Gamaliel, was to use
a spectro ?cope, the light from the
Warren Gamaliel constellation show?
ing -; spectrum of violet, indigo, green,
yellow, orange and red, while the light
from the Bull constellation ehows
"ju -3 ;. ; ? !1< v. streak."
Coolidge Busy Traveling
"A little later a silk-hatted gentle
man, carrying a portfolio of papers,
was rushed violently across the dining
room, only to retrace his steps 331 the
same hurried fashion. After several
trips he was checked and required to
cxposeliis business. He turned out to
be Vice-President Coolidge. "He says,"
reported a club officer, "that he is very
sorry to disturb the dinner, but h. is
doing his best +0 keep bis engagements
between the Cabinet room and the ;
As a souvenir of the dinne? each
guest received a little book of "Grid?
iron Fables and Wonder Tales," deal?
ing with the personalities of some of :
the famous guests present, each fable
illustrated by C. K, Berryman.
Besides the President. Yice-Prcsi
dent and Cabinet members, some of ;
jthe guests were: Tho French, Bel-,
?gian, It-licn, Peruvian and British
.Ambassadors, Messrs. Justice Pitney
j and McReynolds, of the Supreme
Court; Speaker Gillett, secretary to
i the President Christian, Under Secre
1 tary of State Fletcher, Senators Brous
! sard of Louisiana, Curtis of Kansas,
j Wadsworth and Calder of New York,
! Frelinghuy".en of Ne*.?" Jersey, Kellogg
of Minnesota, Knox of Pennsylvania,
j Lenroot of Wisconsin, Lodge of Massa
? chusetts, McCormick of Illinois, Mc*
j Kinley of Illinois. McNary of Oregon,
New of Indiana, Penrose of Pennsyl
j vania, Shortridge of California, Smoot
I of Utah, Stanfield of Oregon and Wat?
son of Indiana. Representatives Camp?
bell of Pennsylvania, Cannon of Illi
| nois, Chandler of Oklahoma, Copley of
1 Illinois, Mondell of Wyoming, Moore
I of Indiana and V/inslow of Massa
j chusetts, Governor E. P. Morrow, of
i Kentucky; Commissioner Cuno H.
Rudolph, of the District of Columbia,
? and Governor William C. Sproul, of
Among tin? representatives of the
? army, navy and Marine Corps present
General John .'. Pershing, I.'. S. A.;
Major General John A. Lejeune, U. S.
M. C; Major General Charles F.
Humphrey, ?. S. A. (retired); Briga?
dier General Smedley D. Butler, U. S.
SI. C; Brigadier General George Rich?
ards, U. S. M. C; Colonel Wilds P.
Richardson, U. S. A. (retire:!); Lieu?
tenant Commander Arthur W. Dunn
? jr., U. S. N., and Lieutenant L. White
I Busbey jr., U. S. N.
Editors, publishers and writers pres
; ont as guests included:
Robert AY. Bingham, Louisville
Times; Harry ('. Black, Baltimore
I Sun; George G. Booth, Detroit News;
! Ralph II. Booth, Booth Publishing
'' Company; E. H. Butler, Buffalo News;
! Robert J. Cuddihy, Literary Digest;
! Cyrus H. K. Curtis, Philadelphia Eve
i ning Ledger; Charles W. Danziger,
Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph; Wil
I liam IL Field, New York Daily News;
? Robert M. Ginter, Pittsburgh Gazette
I Times; Charles P. Haabrook, Richmond
I Times-Dispatch; Bealp R. Howard,
I Washington Evening Star; R. M. Kauff
I mann, Washington Evening Star; Frank
? R. Kent, Baltimore Sun; I. R. Kirk
1 wood, Kansas City Star; G. A. Lyon
? jr., Washington Evening Star; Edward
: B. McLean, Washington Post; Avery C.
i Marks jr., president National Press
Club; Arthur D. Marks, Washington
j Post; Thomas O. Marvin, The Protcc
Itionist: Julian S. Mason, Chicago Eve
! ning Post; Laurenco Mills, National
1 Hotel and Travel Gazette; Frank B.
i Noyes, Washington Evening Star;
George S. Oliver, Pittsburgh Gazette
Times; Paul Patterson, Baltimore Sun;
Wright A. Patterson, Western News?
paper Union; Joseph Pulitzer, St. Louis
Post-Dispatch; John R. Rathom, Provi?
dence Journal; Ogden Reid, Now York
Tribune; Colonel Charles A. Rook,
Pittsburgh Dispatch; David E. Smiley,
Philadelphia Evening Ledger; Court
laud Smith, American Press Associn
tioi?* David B. Smith, Pittsburgh Ga?
zette-Times; W. B. Sullivan, Charlotte
Observer; William D. Sullivan, Boston
Globe; Samuel E. Thompson, Chicago
Tribune; Henry K. Williams, Dunkirk
(N. Y.) Observer, and Russell Young,
Washington Evening Star.
Realtv Man Sued for $50,000
In Breach of Promise Action
Mi?s Agnes M. Miller, who says she
reaignod a position as assistant secre?
tary and treasurer of a Chicago club
in anticipation of her marriage to Wil?
liam T. Pratt, a real estate man, sued
Mr Pratt in the Supreme Court yester?
day for S5U.000 breach of promise
It is alleged by Miss Miller that Mr.
Pratt promised in October, 1920, to
make her his wife early in 1921. The
plaintiff alleges that the defendant still
irefuses to fix the date for their wed?
ding, notwithstanding his promise, tne
resignation by her of her p03'.tion and
the purchase of a trousseau.
lHE rogue for Cxtnton crepe is illustrated here in
three charming gowns for Summer gaities, exquisitely
embroidered and with many novel features; and two
of the newest elegancies in Spring wraps, fringe, effects
and Canton crepe banded with monkey?one of the
most exclusive Summer furs. From left to right: A
gonvn -with plaited side panels, embroidered in henna
and emerald; a gonvn of navy, cut-out designs in
beaded embroidery over grey chiffon, to match the sash;
and, under the 'wrap, a glimpse of a smart navy gown
elaborately embroidered ninth emerald satin girdle. y
Beautiful Wraps of Canton Crepe
WRAPS Tor Summer wear allure you now, swinging light draperies of Canton crepe and
satin, coolly lined with silk or filmy chiffon, trimmed with the new iringe effects and Summer furs.
Sleeved and sleeveless modes, some richly edged with monkey, caracul, squirrel and slynx. They're
just warm enough for the fresh days and evenings of Spring, and will be a delight all Summer to wear
over dainty frocks. ^5 ^ ^95
THIRD FLO O R
Lovely Gowns of Canton Crepe
IF you have need for one supremely smart gown, the very essence of new style?choose the
season's favorite, Canton crepe. Simple or elaborate as you please. Slip-on models, with
the youthful Lanvin neck or chemisettes of lace; cut-out and bead designs over contrasting
chiffon; beautiful self silk and color embroideries; flared sleeves, brilliant sashes, pleatings and
panel effects, many novelties, a choice at fashionable shades and smart combinations.
In a wide range of tempting prices
#55 to #250
Suits of the Finer Type
Remarkably Low in Price
IF you appreciate the patrician type of suit that bears the hallmark or
distinction in its dashing lines and custom finish, you'll recognize the
splendid values in this latest offering?very specially priced. In trico
tine and twillcord, plain tailored, or belted styles, braid or ribbon
bound, notched collars, long revers, unusual pockets and embroideries,
smart ribbon motifs, tailored features, all the charming touches to be
found in the more exclusive tailleurs, and with the exquisite little
niceties of finish to please the woman of fastidious taste in dress.
Two typical tailored models illustrated; many other beautiful styles, in?
cluding a model embroidered in French knots and with smart trimming
of grosgrain ribbon?all suits that have been mach higher priced.
#67.50 #95 #125
These Real Filet Laces
WERE bought in a special purchase, and under unusually fortunate
circumstances. That explains the fact that we can offer them today
at a range of prices far below normal?prices lower than have been
seen for a long time on laces of this exquisite design and quality.
Edges?Floral and bow knot d?igns Finishing edges?H inch wide
?8 inches wide . . #2.95 yard.25c yard
Edges? 5 inches wide . #1.75 yard Picot Edges?Afine quality, 14c yard
Edges and Insertions?3 to 4 inches Square Motifs?8 inches . 75c each
wide.#1.50 yard Square Motifs?6 indies . 50c each
Triangular Morjfs?sold by the dozen . #1.75 and #1.25
This is one of the charming square monfi,
introducing the rose design , 75c emch.
G ROUND FLOOR
Baby Frocks of
In Fioiuer-like Pastel Shades
THE very name of the fabric suggests
the enchanting daintiness of these child?
ren's frofcks,? but you must see them
before you can believe how lovely they
are. Great wide sashes begin with smock?
ing in front, and end with a butterfly bow
in back. Collars and cuffs are white.
Colors are pink, blue, cafe au lait and
green. Sizes z to 6 years.
A bloomer frock is of Peter Pan cloth in
pink, lavender, green, blue, yellow. White
collars .and cuffs. 2 to 6 years.
%. FOURTH FLOOR
The First Blue
In Self Checked Ratine
3FIRST because it has been chosen the
favorite of America's First Lady. It is
one of the new, charming colors of the
self checked Ratine we've just received.
The other shades, leather, grey, paradise,
rose, are equally lovely?40 inches wide.
More French novelty cottons have been
received. Daintier, if possible, than any
previous selection; they have white or
colored grounds. 39-40 inches wide.
?1.95 and ?2.95 yard
Are White or Brightly Colored
AND whichever they are their beauty of
texture and color is a thing to conjure
with. For every hour of the day one may
have a new and ravishing garment of
White Pongee--A heavy quality for
frocks, skirts or suits?-33 inches wide.
Sports Silks?White and many colors,
pale or bright. 40 inches wide.
Colored Taffeta ? Apple green, jade,
mauve, orchid, ciel blue, delft, rose, cherry
?these are a few of the lovely shades in
this chiffon-finish fabric.
G R O U N I ' Y- LOOR
Have the Smell O' the Bog
IT'S the faint, delightful peat)' odor that
many women look for in buying tweeds.
These are beautiful in quality -mixed
yarns, all-wool,-rose, reseda, ran, grev,
heliotrope, blue-?54 inches wide.
Velour Suitings, for capes and coats,
are light in quality, all-wool, and charming
in their color variety: browns, greys, fans,
black, navy blue?54 inches wide.
Especially Low Priced
Radium, crepe de chine and washable
satin, in attractive models tailored and
Night Gowns . . . #3.95 to #8.75
Step-In Drawers . . $1.95 to #5.95
Envelope Chemises . #1.95 to #5.95
Bodices. #1.50 to #2.95
A Spring Sample Line
A collection of exceptional values in fine,
soft silks, lovely in coloring and a variety oi
styles in taffeta, Jersey, radium and satin,
At Manufacturers* Prices
?3.95 to ?13.50
SEC?N D FLOOR