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title: 'The Columbian. (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, August 04, 1866, Image 1',
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AN INDEPENDENT JOURNAL,
IS ITIIMSHKO MTPT MTV1IUAY, lf
TllooitiOmrgi Caluniblii County, Pn,
TVo Dollars nycnr, In ndvnucc. If nut paid In
ndviuicc, Two Dollars nud nrtjJ'tViil".
oi:onai3 ir. Moonu,
Citltur of the Colvjimav,
llloomsburR, Columbia County, Va.
iiy riuitit: cAiiv.
Watch lior kindly, stars
Worn tho nwci't iirotcctlim ikltn
l'ollow licr with tender cyc i
Look o lovingly that bIiu
L'unnot chooe Imt think of moj
Watch lior kliiUly, fctart 1
(-ootlin lior wotly, nltfit
Jin her eyes, o'crwofUlod, ircs
Thi tired 1I.W with llclit cari'ss;
Let tlmt shadowy hand of tlitnii
liver In Iht dn ritds xoeM ii'iluu ;
'tivothu lior sweetly, nljlit I
Walto lior gently, mom
Irft tho notes of curly btiils
Hi'Cin llku Iavu'h mnliulloiii wiiidii;
l.very jdcnyitnt uound, my dt'nr,
AVhoii she stirs from ulecp, ulinuld honr J
WuUoliorueiitly, morn t
f oftly, tlmt he limy nut utln
Any Hwcut, iit'CiHtomed liUn j
On lior 1IH, lu-r i'j i, liur futo,
Till I coma to tnlio your iduroi
Kl8 niul klii lior, wlndH I
fnv Jf. r. UAiiLia.
I MKT tks Dudley nt the house of
;t Mrs. "Wheeler. She wiw visiting there
'" tit the time, nud ho wtw I. J don't sup
yoau any ono would hnvo culled "her tt
; pretty wimuin. She hud u superb form,
. lull iind strulht, rather full ; u line
if 3ied baluiii'cd above her sloping phoul
de.M; u brond low foreheail, looK'inif out
, j, from under heavy iini3.scsi of durk brown
4 lutlr ; brown, earnest eyes, that looked
you full in the faee; n rather latere, but
well, spread noo; broad mouth, with
: thin, .scarlet llpi, thiitopeniiif; displayed
'p. ii kooiI .substantial set of white, even
teeth ; and a skin white and smooth a.s
A She might havo been Iwenty-nvo, ono
would have said to look at her I found
t out afterward that sliewas thirty. No
doubt she hud had plenty of oilers of
" jnarriaRo; mid then, too, she had such
a grand, stately way with her that timid
i snt'ii would havo stood soincwhat in
IJut I'm not ft timid man, especially
r ntnonfr ladles; and besides, when she
-chose, Miss Dudley could, be very fasui-
She drew mo toward her by some
mysterious charm. 1 think it was u
Hort of animal magnetism xmiestraiiHe,
.' inoKinoric power that sho exercised
Now at the time I am speaking of I
ww just thirty-three; but singular n it
may seem, although J have always been
exceedingly tender-hearted, I hail never
felt tho least twlngoof tho " grande pas
hIoii." I liad met a great many pretty
; faces, quite a number of lovely ones, and
ono or two that were decidedly beau-
Miss Minnie Dudley was neither.
Taken altogether, that is in form and
feature, one might call her superb; but
who was the hint woman that most men
would fall In love with. They would
jUandatudMancoand admire her, but
as for claiming her as their own, it took
1 moro of a certain kind of courage than
most men have ; but as for me, why, I
think sho was just tho woman that 1
had been unconsciously looking for.
I may as well remark that J am a man
of considerable wealth. 1 own a splen
did establishment on Union Square. For
' t years it had been under the entire man
ngenient of Mrs. Ureyon, my houe
"; keeper. Now 1 really felt that it was
.' my duty to bring homo a wife to pre
side over that establishment. There
' were many women that could havo
' done tho honors well, but none with tho
grace of Miss Dudley.
Therefore, you perceive, I concluded
. after mature deliberation that 1 would
marry tho aforesaid young lady, pro
"' vlding f.ho would havo me.
r I didn't havo a great deal of doubt
iibout that. Most women of humble
J means would have probably married
' t me for my fortune; butl imagined that
, Miss Dudley was not-one of that class.
" She jio.s.-ese.i tv noble soul, and if she
ever consents to be mine, it will bo be
? cause she love-, me," I said.
I looked out of the window Just then,
-nnd espied tho object of my thoughts
fining up from tho garden. She looked
!rio grand and stately that 1 couldn't
lielpsniilingnt tho thought of her ever
.condescending to love a poor mortal of
'the maeuline gender.
"' ' Who sho was 1 could not have told at
VsStho time. I had come down from tho
5city to visit my particular friend, Hob
JWheuler. Miss Dudley wa- there when
I arrived. I learned that she re.ldcd In
'Greenfield with a married si-ter. She
had a, few thousands enough to support
Jier respectably, and that was all.
" A lino woman," s.ild liob, as ho lit
'w cigar. " If I was a marrying man, 1
f Jfjjnlght but bah! She's superb, grand,
Jvtoo grand quid ntmlsi" .
"1 don't think so."
"Why, with your establishment,
iff Trunk, she's Just the woman to make a
display. You could trot her out on
t btttto occasions, you know ; but a man in
n email country town like this, for In
stance, would bo in quite as bad a llx tw
.thu mini who bought the elephant, with
iBiiuh u wonian for a wife."
" .Strange sho was never nrirrled."
" Sho had oilers ; but she rejected them
, 'mil. That's not strange, because she
'would not marry tunaii unless ho had
j '.n largo tpiantlty of brains, or a large
' Hharo of money, which amounts to the
ytiimi) thing, In this world, you know."
4 " Do you believe that, llobV"
"Of course, l'mpretly wellucqualut
' cfl with her. I Mioulil in quick think of
' making love to l'o", ens' (Jreek Mnvoiis
t toMlss Mlniilo Dudley. What a ills
duluful smile -ho'tl give a Mluw !"
VOL. I.-NO. 14.
Now that wasn't Just what T wanted.
I suppoio wo are nil foolish enouirh
sotuetlmes In our Hvoj to want some
onetolovo us; but I had never, until
mo ttay i met .Miss Dudley, seen the
woman that I thought I 'could love.
And now well, Hob didn't know of
course. Miss Dudley always stood upon
ner dignity, j'.ob might have thought
that ho was acquainted with her, but 1
felt that he wasn't.
Determined to win this woman, not
only her hand but. her heart of course,
1 became nsnttentlvetoheraseverlover
was to Ida mistress. And she was verv
gracious to mo in return. I tried to
think that soniouets of hers, some ex
pression of her face or some peculiar
tone of her voice, Indicated a dawning
of tho tender pas.Mon In lior bosom, and
at lust I felt sure that sho yes, I was
positive that the majestic Miss Dudley
really loved me.
Iteing now convinced of that, nothing
remained for me to do but propose in
the ordinary fashion.
I met .Miss Dudley in tho garden that
evening. I drew her arm through
mine, and we walked on. it seemed to
me that thousands of little Cupids were
hovering over our heads; the moon
coming up behind the trees 1 look to bo
tho torch of Hymen, and the garden of
Mr. heelerseemed like some enchant
We took seats upon a rustic bench at
the farther end of the garden. 1 held
her little hand In mine. Now was the
"MUs i Dudley," I began, my voice
choking with strange emotions, "you
cannot but have seen you must have
felt that I loved you."
X looked up for encouragement, but
sliewas looking away from me. Her
hand laid passively in mine, not a
tremor ran through her frame. Her
face, to all appearance, was as calm as
si Summer's morning.
" Minnie, darling, J love you. Will
you be my wife'.'"
" Yes," she replied calmly, turning
J drew her toward my bosom, and
pres-ed numberlivs kis.-es upon brow,
cheek, and lip.
1 wa- satisfied, still water runs deep,
they y.xy, and I believed it then. I im
agined that her feelings were too deep
Defo.-e wo left the garden that night
we had arranged everything in regard
to our wedding, which was to lake
place in September, nt the house of Miss
Dudley's sister, in (irecnllold. I was to
return to New York the next day to
make preparations for the great event
of my life.
"(food night, Minnie, dear," I paid,
kissing liar, as we parted at the hall
Dob was In his own room. J went up
and told hint of my success. " Wish
me joy, Mob."
" liah ! I could havo done that a
month ago. 1 know how it would turn
out, Ihit I say, Frank, did she tell you
that she loved you V" and Hob took his
cigar from his mouth and smiled rather
saucily, 1 thought.
1 didn't reply. You perceive that I
didn't consider that that was any of his
biislne. Besides, too, when I thought
of it, I remembered that she had never
told me anything of the kind. She had
said "yes," when I asked her to be my
wife; but as to tho love why, I had
settled that question in my mind before
I had made tho proposal, and I wasn't
going to let it trouble mo now.
Tho next day I was in New York. I
whispered to Wiggins that J was boon
to leap into the horriblo abyss of matri
mony. Wiggins told Drown, and Drown
told Miss Urittlewell, anil she told all
her female acquaintances, and they told
till their friends, and 1 found in less
than twenty-four hours after I had told
Wiggins of tho proposed wedding to
take place' in Oreentleld, everybody in
Now York knew it.
The next day, when T met tho Misses
l'iz.lebob in thcirearrlageon Iiroadwny,
they hardly noticed me. They bowed
stiilly. You see I had been somewhat at
tentive to the young Miss I'i.zlebob,
though I had never entertained serious
thoughts concerning the fair creature.
Hut now 1 approach the serious part
nf my story. I would much rather pass
over this matter In silence, but as I sat
down with the determination to tell the
whole story of my courtship, keeping
nothing back, I must push through.
It was September. 1 was on my way
to Ureeillleld, It was tho happiest day
of my life, 1 think. I had written to
Minnie that 1 should lie there on the
third, but instead, I was there on the
second. At the depot, of cour.-e, there
was no one to meet me. 1 called a car
riage, and told the driver to sot me
down at the hou-o of George .Summers,
my Minnie's sister's husli.iud.
It was a small cottage house, painted
white, with green blind'. It wassitiia
ted some distance back front tho street.
A brick walk, upon either side of which
was a llower-lied, led from the gate up
to the front door.
I hurried to thodoorand rang thobell.
There was no answer, and so J rang
again. Then I heard footsteps, and al
last a key rattled In tho lock, ami then
the door opened.
It was my Minnie, bless her heart I I
seized her hand, ami drew her toward
me. She shrieked, and then tried to
draw herself away.
" Minnie, darling !" I cried, still hold
" Sir!" looking daggers at mo.
" Why do ymi treat mo thus'.'"'! ask
ed, o.sccfdingly surprised and bewilder
cd, but .still hoUlini, her hand-.
BLOOM fS BURG, SATURDAY, AUGUST i 18G0.
" Unhand me, villain !" she shrieked.
"Murder! Help! Ueorge!"
Was the woman crazy ? 1 really fear
ed she was; and then I thought per
haps she never loved me. Then, by a
strong ell'orl, In spite of her struggles, I
tlnew my arms around her and pressed
her to my bosom, raining kisses upon
"Monster! help! help I" she cried
Iteally this wni brooming quite un
pleasant to mo. Such a reception for a
lover by his mistress 1 had never heard
or reaiUif. Andjuat at this Juncture I
heard footsteps approaching, and a voice
asking the cause of all the row, and that
was Just what I wanted to know.
"O, O'corgo! help nie!" and a small
gentleman, wry thin and short, with
light hair, blue eyes, anil red whiskers,
sprang toward me.
" What are you doing here, you
rogue'."' ho asked, stepping up and
laying his hand on my shoulder.
I was Just tho least bit excited. I am
sure 1 could not have been In my right
mind, or I should not have done what
I did. Besides, I'd lately been taking
lessons in rlie noble art of H'lf-defence.
1 wanted to display myself, and further
more, I didn't want to be bullied by a
little man with red whiskers; and so I
squared oil', and shaking the red-whisk
ered chap's hand from my shoulder, I
struck out boldly with my left, iloored
my antagonist, and drew tltellrst blood.
"There, lay quiet now, my lovely
youth," said I, seeing that he had no
thought of coming up to the "scratch,"
and then 1 turned and grasped Minnie
in my arms once more.
1 don't know what would have hap
pened next; but just then 1 heard a
light footstep on the stairs. I looked
" Well, you can't undor-tund my feel
ings, and 1 cannot describe them. I
was bewildered at first, but now why,
deuce take i.ie, but there were tiro
" Mr. Hills! Why, how do you do'."'
said the Minnie on tin' stairs, extending
her hand toward me. " Why, what
does this mean '."' and she looked down
at the prostrate form of the red-whiskered
J. couldn't speak. I looked first at tho
Minnie in my arms and then at Minnie
before me; and then 1 loosened my hold
upon the former and took the hand of
" Will you plea-"e explain '."' I asked.
" I think you should," was theaiiswcr.
"Well, I will," I replied, looking at
Minnie number one ; "i arrived here
live minutes ago ami undertook to kiss
" Who, then?"
"Mrs. George Summers, my twin
" Bless me!" said T, as tho light broke
in upon me, and I was just a little pro
fane, that i-, in a low tone of voice.
"And this is Mr. Frank Hills"."' cried
Mrs. Summers, extending her hand and
"Give us your hand, old fellah," said
Mr. Summers, the small, red-whiskered
chap, rising from the floor.
"I hope 1 didn't hurt you."
"Not a bit. But what a mistake'.'
Why didn't you tell me'."'
" Why, I supposed you knew."
And then we all went into dinner, nnd
a more jolly party younover.-.iw. And,
well, the next day there was a wedding
in Greenlleld, and Minnie and I were
made ono ile-h and bone.
Little remains to be said, except that
Minnie anil 1 live very happily together,
and I have made myself enough ac
quainted with her features to be able to
distinguish between her and Mrs, Hum
mers. DItESS IN ENGLAND.
There has never been a time during
the pro-en t reign in Kngland, when so
much money has been spent as at the
present period upon dresses. Our fair
ones arerunninga race in extravagance,
in many families the cost per person
for dress averages ono thousand pound
a year this, of course, exclusive of
Jewelry. Foru sIukIo dre.ss, prices va
rying from forty pounds to ono hun
dred and fifty pounds are frequently
paid. It Is in the rareness of material
and its amount that tho excess usually
consists, not In the skill or art of the
design. During this week 1 havo been
present at thcopenlngof what Is term
ed an International Horticultural In
hibition, in the fashionable part of Lon
don an occasion on which tho fickets
of admission were one guinea and there
I saw the prevalent wastofulnesi dis
played in the morning dross. Trains of
satin, some yards long, were m'ou drag
ging over gravel walks and colleei
ing all foreign matter from tho grass.
Ijiico was 'there in shawls and cloaks,
which used to bo worn only in very
small quantities by our grandmothers.
As to our bonnets, very soon they will
ill-appear, If they continue to diminish
at the rate they havo followed for the
l.isltwu or three .'ca-ous. They have
dwindled Into -onicthlug of thoslze of
a broad piece of ribbon, but the .shapes
that tuo cho-.en are H-arcely to bo num
bered. Watching the Hue llgures of
many of our 11 igll.-h girls, surrounded
by an Inunen.-o breadth of something
exquisite, "precious stuff," and wear
lug on their heads some old jumble of
ribbon.-, and flowers,' wu are frequently
forced to admire; but If in the midst of
our ruminations tho form arises In our
minds of the chit-to and natural stylo of
a few years hawk, with Its .simple adorn-niC'iit-
and harmony wllh the native
gra.i or of a cl.V'unl dupery, 'tub a.
lll'.il I tfc,ll S . lift fN A X I -s. -rv
iiz-xu mii iicir irn fLC inn ' ai imi ra i-3 lurn ikvii iv v
u , 1 1 a 11. ill 11 II I 1
M'llo llachol ued to wear In her
tragedies these walking bales of goods,
these drapers' and dress-makers' models
cease tocharni. Can any tlres be suited
to us which prevents the exercise of
muscles and limbs! Tho Countesses
and Duchesses whom I saw on Tuesday,
nt Kensington, were exposed to n hun
dred mishaps. To walk with such trap
pings is a dllllculty, but to walk, and
to stop, and to turn round, Is a danger.
You may take your hat o:f to a lady,
tluso days, but If you advance to
shako her little hand you lluster her,
for you tread upon her dross, jf i-he Is
alarmed her admirer is still more so.
Some men havo acquired the greatest
dexterity in nvoidlug an unfortunate
step, for there are lueji who can stand
on anything, on tho spire of St. Paul's,
but to the average, the modern garb of
our ladles Is a snare and a vexation.
ADVERTISING FOR A AVIFE.
A MAIL AGENT'S STORY.
It Is now Pome two or three weeks
since a young gentleman entered the
olllco of a Special Agent of the l'ost
Olllee Department In one of our large
cities, and announced that he hail a se
rious ea.-eof mail depredation, to report,
which he would like to have investiga
ted immediately. Being requested to
give the particulars of tho matter, he
produced from Ids pocket a letter ad
dressed to himself, and post-marked
with the name of a small town in the
State of Pennsylvania. The envelope
bore unmistakable evidence of having
been opened and r'.i-siltl, ami the ad
dress was in a lady's handwriting.
" There, sir," said he, carefully re
moving the letter, and handing the en
velope to the agent for inspection, "that
'ere letter's been robbed by some post
olllce thief of twenty-six dollars. Now
1 want you to catch him and put the
screws to him give him ten years at
least. I don't care for the loss of the
money" (it is singular, by the way,
how sublimely intiiiferent to pecuniary
considerations nio.t people are who pre
fer these complaints), " but I'd like to
see the rascal caught."
Now the agent having had considera
ble previous experience in the investi
gation of cases of " rilling," was quite
sensible that a very nece.-sary prelimi
nary to such Investigations was a thor
ough knowledge of all the circumstances
connected with tho alfair, and after at
was liberally beilauoO'With mucilage,
he observed :
" Well, 'sir, I will take tho memoran
dum of your statement, and if it proves
to be a ' posl-olHco thief,' as you tsy "
" if it does, sh-! Why, who else can
it be'.' Isn't the envelope to speak for
itself ha-n't it evidently been torn
open and gummed up agiiu? Of course
it is a po-t-oflieo thief any one can see
" Probably, sir, but I don't see it just
yet. Be good enough to let me know
the name or the writer of this letter."
The young man hesitated, and at
once his manner became confti.-ed and
" I'd rather not, if it's all tho same,
sir; it's a young lady, and there are
peculiar circumstances about the ca.-o
and in short, l don't want her name
mixed up with it."
" But it will be absolutely necessary,
in order to make ti proper investigation,
that I should know her name. Without
it, I cannot undertake to do anything
in the matter."
The gentleman still sought for some
time to avoid giving tho name of his
fair friend, but at last nunimucfd it as
.Miss Kinily Melville. Oilier questions
followed, as to the circumstances which
led to the enclosure of tho money, etc.,
to which tho complainant answered In
an evasive, shulliing way evidently
trying to conceal something of which he
was secretly a-hani'-d, lYivoiving that
the investigation was likely to make but
slow progress1 while conducted in tills
fashion, the agent observed :
" My friend, my tinn is to precious
to waste in drawing information from
you with a corkscrew, and you may as
well make up your mind either to give
mo a clear and unreserved account of
this transaction optoyjo eNowhere with
your grievance. Now, please tell me
why Miss Melville sent you (or tried to
.-end to you) this m iney '."'
" To pay for some broadcloth for a
' Which you were to purcha-o for
" Yes that is, which I had purchased
"Oh, I see tho young lady was
probably hero visiting, and being tem
porarily out of funds, your gallantry
forced her to accept a loan eh".'"
" Well, no, not exactly. Tho fact Is,
I sent tho goods to her by express, tit
her own request."
" A ml of course, IHng an old friend"
" No, not an old friend, precisely."
"A relative, then".'"
" Ah, I see, something nearer and
" Well, yes," slid the youth with a
simper, and nervously swinging his hat
by tho rim as he gazed modestly on tje
Hour, "we're lov engaged, 1 mean."
" Perhaps shy has forgot to enclo.so the
" No, sir I've had a letter from h"i"
since, and she swears I mean she's
curtain .-ho put the money la."
" Perhaps, theu,"sald the agent, striv
ing to express his suggestion In tho
le.vt ollen-lvo way, " perhaps .?ho omit
ted to eiKlo-o it."
" Sir, exclaimed the fond lover, roused
by this Insinuation, "what do you
mean? There Is no doubt whatever,
sir, that she sent the money. I would
stake my life on her honor."
" Oh, very well, plr, excuse me no
offence intended, I'm sure. But, you
know, I have not the pleasure of the
lady's acquaintance. By the way, how
long have you known her a long time,
Tho young gentleman's cinbarra-s-
iiient was visibly Increased as ho replied,
" About six months."
" Met her In Pennsylvania, I sup
" Yes, that is, no-I can't fay I did."
" Where did you meet her?"
"Why, 1 can't say exactly don't
know as I Imvc met her at all, to tell
" Telling tho truth seems to be a work
of time with you," remarked tho agent
dryly. "Now, If you Mill be good
enough to give me light about what you
know of this young lady whom you
propose to marry, and upon whoso hon
or you are willing to stake your life..
perhaps there may be sotuo prospect of
getting at the facts of this mysterious
robbery, otherwise you need waste no
more time in this neighborhood."
" Well, if you must have it, hero it
Is: You see, about six mouths ago, I
(just for fun, you know) advertised for
a wife, and this young lady happened
to advertise for a husband about the
same time, ami weaiiswered each other's
advertisements. But then she wasearn
e.st all on the square. Oh, yes," con
tinued he, observing perhaps an Incred
ulous smile on the countenance of the
agent, "sho was all right wanted a
husband wanted one bad. She was
situated In this way : she hadn't got no
father or mother, and was under the
charge of a guardian, an old fellow
about fifty, and she's worth about
twenty thousand dollars (here his eyes
glistened covetously), in her own rigid ;
this guardian lie takes and puts her into
a boarding-school, and intends to force
her into marrying him. She'd rather
have some young fellow, of course;
natural, isn't it? and so she takes and
advertises for a husband. So, as I was
saying, 1 answered her advertisement,
and she leplied to my letter, and so we
no humbug about her; lean tell when
a girl is in earnest ; I know she's all
right the way she writes. So about two
weeks Ago she says in a postscript to
one of her letters, '1 wish you would
go to Stewart's and get me live yawls
of broadcloth, mid send it to me by ex
press. want it for a cloak, and I will
send you the money just as soon as it
conies, and don't fail to let me know
jttst how much it is, for I do not wi-h
you to be at any expense for me.' So I
went to Stewart's and got the cloth, anil
sent it by express, and wrote to her and
told her it was twenty-six dollars, and
then she put tho money into this letter,
and some darned thief in a pot-olllcc
has gone anil stole it ; that's all there is
'" Oh, that's all !" said the agent, with
dllllculty restraining the laughter which
this pitiful tale of love was calculated
to provoke. " Well, sir, there's no
doubt that you are a very much abused
Individual, and if you will call again in
about a fortnight, 1 think i will be able
to give you some dellnite information
in regard to the matter."
"Thank you, sir; only put that po-d-olllce
thief in State pi-J-on, and I'll be
sati-lled, I don't care about the money
that is, 1 don't care so much about it ;
but if 1 could get it back"
" I shall do everything possible, sir;
" Gooil morning, sir."
Punctual at the expiration of the fort
night, the victim of the heartless " post
olllce robbery" presented hlni-elf to
hear the result of tho Investigation.
The agent by writing one or two letters,
and availing himself of certain other
means at his command, had in the
meantime entirely satisfied himself as
to the author of the " outrage," and was
quite prepared for the visit.
'Good morning. Have you found
out who stole my money?"
" Yes, sir, I think 1 have."
" 1 am glad to hear it ; did you get
any of it back?"
"Not a cent."
" Well, I suppose he's to Stato prison
"Not as 1 know of; but It Is not Im
possible that ho may reach that iiistitu
tlon one of these days. Hero's a letter
which will perhaps explain tho matter
better than I can. I received it a few
days since from Pennsylvania.
Tho young man recognized at once
his Kintly's handwriting, ami hustened
to read the following:
, l'r.sNsvi.VANiA, Jaminry 1", ISO-.
51 1:, . I'osr-niTlci: .Vihxrs Unit Mr, 1 Unit
you hivo liooii miililnic mhiio luqulri." nhout tlmt
twvnty-Klx diill.ns I msit (III u horn) to (icorni" a
Widl.yoii miy t.'ll Ijlin fir m tint that Iium.I
rtnth t- lmiM.'il til II llrM-rl.lss "hlitiimll.il" ovi l'
rnit, Voumiy nlso t.dl him tlmt I dou'l ko ti
IxMnlliin-Mlio'il as mni'li I did i nlwillril I don't
Ii 'lonu imy ni'iri. toth. "h dt ma," tliotiuli I thiol.
In. il'i.M. You inllil iin'iitlon, v, hlli' yon ki
nhout It, tli.it wlii'ii 1 i;.'t lh.it tw.'iity tlmiwind
dollars,! will mmuI him hull nf It tit lli' Mini."
wny as 1 wilt Uk otlirr. Also ti ll lilm " Kvcrol
Tliti'.'1 Yoiim tuily,
Umii.v Mia.viM.itioi'iiuv oth.'r iimul,
There wast, deep silence during the
reading of this epistle In the olllco untie
agent, who had considerately turned
his back while the unhappy victim was
learning of his wasted affection and
cash. Tlio silence continued so long
that the agent ut length turned to oiler
what litllocoiisolatlou was in his power,
Hut lie was spared tho task. The hope
less young man had nolselowly depart-
cd possibly lo take tho fu t tialu tor
Mil I Nil 1 rjl
rmoH FIVE CENTS.
Pennsylvania, possibly to mcdltato In
solitude over the comparative advan
tages of "love nt first slirht" and love
beforo sight Wherever ho went, lie
lias not returned.
MRS. JONES, THE AUTHORESS.
O.v one of our earliest visits to . tho
llhrsU'e charm nttnchetl to the Idea of n
female author became, Indeed, changed
lo a horror, from which we havo never
wholly recovered. Wo were requested
to escort a lady to what we understood
was an ordinary nodal gathering. After
entering n rather small and somewhat
obscure drawing-room, ealutlngjtheliost
ess, and taking the proll'ered seat, we
were struck with the formal arrange
ment of the company. They formed an
unbroken row along the walls of the
room, except at one end, at which
stood a table surmounted by an astral
lamp ; and lit an arm-chair beside it, in
a studied attitude, like one posed for a
lagtiorreotype, sat a woman of masculine
proportions, coarse features, and hair
between yellow and red, which fell In
unkempt masses down each side of her
broad face. She was clad In white mus
lin of an antiquated fa-hlon. Welintlced
that the guests cast looks, partly of curi
osity, partly of uneasiness, upon tills
hiirculean female, who rolled her eves
occasionally, and smiled on us all with a
kind of complacent pity. Wo ven
tured, amidst tho silence, to ask our
neighborthe name of the gigantic tin
known. She appeared extremely sur
prised at the very natural question.
" Why, don't you know ? We're invit
ed here to meet her, nud, I le-sure you,
it is a rare privilege. That is Mrs.
Jones, the celebrated author of the
' Aflliinced One.'" At this moment a
brisk little woman in the corner, with
accents slightly tremulous, ami a man
ner intended to be very nonchalant,
broke the uncomfortable hush of the
room. " My dear Mrs. Jones," saldshe,
" as one of your earliest and most fer
vent admirers, allow me to inquire if
your health does not suffer from the in
tense stale of feeling in which you evi
dently write?" The Amazonian novel-
t sighed it was funny to see that
operation on so large a scale and then,
in a voice so like the rougher sex that
we began to think she was a man in dis
guise, replied : " When I reach tho
catastrophe of my stories, it is not un
common for me tofaint dead away ; and,
as I always write in a room by myself,
it has happened more than once that I
have been found stretched, miserable
and cold, on the floor, wllh a lien grasp
ed In my fingers, and the carpet littered
Willi niaiiu-cript, blotted with tears!"
The Siddonian pathos of this announce
ment sent a thrill round tho circle;
glances of admiration and pity were
thrown upon theself-immolated victim
at the shrine of letters, and other in
quiries were adventured, which elicited
equally impressive replies, until the
psychological throes of authorship par
ticularly in Ihefemalegendcr assiiined
the aspect of an experience combined of
epilepsy ami nightmare. Tho tragic
egotism of these revelations at length
overcame our patience; and, leaving
our fair companion to another's escort,
we stepped from the room. A thunder
storm had ari-en ; the rain was pouring
down in torrents; upon the footstep we
encountered a very pale thin little man,
with an umbrella under his arm and a
pair of overshoes in his hands. As we
passed, 'he addiessed us in a very meek
anil frightened voice: " Please, sirs, is
there a party here? " Yes." "Please,
sirs, is the celebrated Mrs. Jones here?"
Yes." " i'leuse, sirs, do you think 1
could step into the entry? I'm Mr.
A CHARITABLE LADY.
Kvr.itvnonv remembers tho famous
"calico balls" so much in vogue in New
York a few years ago. About the height
of the fever a lady, whom we will des
ignate as Mrs. N., lived in one of those
streets appropriated by the aristocratic
orders, and was greatly distinguished
for an admirable philanthropic consid
eration for her less favored fellow-
creatures. Sho was tfco manageress of
various excellent institutions, all having
for their object the relief of legitimate
distress. Her name was at the head and
tail of all charities, and during the rage
for calico balls, sho distinguished her
self by combining canvas-back suppers
with charity. Clergymen eulogized her
Kven "young New York" respected
her, and at her parllesdld not get drunk
beforo supper, "Tho charitable Mrs
X," was a passwordat the door of overy
benevolent Institution In the city.
Mrs. X., no doubt with tho intention
of improving on tho rather worn-out
Idea of the " calico ball," suggested a
new form of that benevolent dlvertlssC'
nient In tho shape of a " brocado ball,"
or, as young Now ork sacrilegiously
called it, a " heavy swell hop." At this
entertainment the programme of the
calico ball was reversed. Instead of the
ladles coming in cheap dresses, to be
afterward removed for tho beuetlt of
tho poor, nud tho evening terminating
,n yrtmde tenia; the female portion of
'he guests were expected to coineattired
In their very best, and at twelve o'clock
retire to the dressing-rooms, where they
were to doll' all their silks, brocades,
and Jewelry, and a-stime some very In
expensive attire provided beforehand.
Tho cast-off attlro was to bo sold for
the benellt of a benevolent Institution
which Mrs. X. was about starting, and
so reali.o a much more considerable
sum than the most liberal calico balls.
The idea met with approbation. Mrs.
X.'.s rooms were crowihd. Ladies n ho
nnpflinrp.niinftrtliwlntctlloin ...,... 1 tA
Kuril !ilifiiKiil InMirtloii lm limii thirteen,
One fviunro cue moiitB 2 M
'Uwo " ' 3 Ml
Ihrco " " 6C
Pour " " 1 (iO
llnlf i-Miimli " low
One column " 15(0
i:.xttitor'8 nnd Admlnlf imtor'n Xoll ,1 w)
Auditor' Moilcr i ,)
niltorln! Notices twrnly rents ir line.
Other ndVortlsi'inciits liutrtitl nccolilllig to 8rr
had credit nt largo establishments vied
with each other In brocatles and oma
mentsi Ono lady Wore it sot of sapphires
valued at a thousand dollar?. Charity,
winged with vanity, poared to the sev
enth heaven of benevolence. But, nla.s
for human nature! when a week or so
had passed, nnd the excitement of being
fashionably merciful had subsided, whis
pers began to be heard. Ono lady heard
from a maid-servant, whom Mrs. X. had
discharged, that that lady was in consid
erable pecuniary difficulties. Another
traced a splendid moire antique dress,
which sho had worn on that occasion, to
costumier's; and a Jeweller was acci
dentally discovered, who stated that
Mrs. X. had offered lilm a set of sap
phires In part payment of her bill.
Charity's wings, like thof-o of Icarus,
suddenly melted, and tho poor benevo
lent angel tumbled into tho lowest gulf
of fashionable contempt. Mrs. X. ro
tired from active charity.
STKKNOTir of character consists of
two things power or will nnd of self
restraint. It requires two things, there
fore, for its existence, strong feelings and
Strong command over them. Now, it is
here that we make a great mistake; wo
mistake strong feelings for strong char
acter. A man who bears all before him.
beforo who.-e frown domestics tremble,
and whose bursts of fury make tho chil
dren of the household quake; because
he has his will obeyed, and his own
way in all thing-', wo call him a strong
man. The truth is that lie Is the weak
man; it Is his passions that are strong;
ho, mustered by them, is Weak. "ou
must measure the strength of a man by
the power of tho feelings ho subduesj
not by the power of those which subduo
him. And iienco composure is very
often tlio highest result of strength.
Did we never see a man receive a llag-
rant insult and only grow a littlo pale,
and then reply quietly? That is a man
spiritually strong. Or did wo never seo
:i man in anguish .stand, as if carved of
solid rock, mastering himself? Or bear
ing a hopeless daily trial remain silent,
and never tell the world what cankered
his homo peaeo? That is strength, llo
who, with strong passions, remains
chaste; he who, keenly sensitive, with
many powers of indignation in him can
bo reproved, and yet restrain himself,
and forgive; these are the strong men,
the spiritual heroes.
Ax nrtlcle in a late nuinbcrofan Eng
lish magazine, on tlio subject of Iho
fracture of polished glass surfaces, says :
"It is a fact known to the philosophical
instrument makers, tlmt if a metal wire
be drawn through a glass tube, a few
hours afterward the tube will burst into
fragments. Tho annealed glass tubes
ti-ed fur tho water guages of steam boil
ers arc sometimes destroyed in this way,
after the act of forcing a piece of cotton
waste through them with a wire, for tho
purpose of cleaning tho bore. This will
not happen if a piece of soft wood is em
ployed. The Into Andrew ltois in
formed mo that on one occasion, late in
the evening, lie lightly pushed a pieco
of cotton wool through a number of ba
rometer tubes with a pieco of cane, for
the purposo of clearing out any particles;
of dust. Tito next morning ho found
most of the tubes broken up into small
fragments, the hard siliceous coating of
the cane proving asdestructive tishe had
previously known the wire to be." In
these times, when glass lamp-chimneys.
are in such wido use, it is of no littlo im
portance that this fact should be mado
known. Thou-andsof persons who havo
been in the habit of using wires, table-
forks, and a variety of metallic tirtlclii
in the washing of tlieso chimneys will,
in the above slated fact, find, tho reason
of their chimneys snapping lo pieces un
Tiiniu; Is in New York a gentleman
of amplo fortune, which ho received by
inheritance. His wife recently ordered
a now carriage, and was anxious that
tho "family" coat-of-arms should bo
emblazoned upon its panels. This tho
husband consented to, and taking a pen
tlio millionaire drew something resem
bling a small mound; by it was stuck
a manure fork, and upon tho fork was
perchedaehantlcleer, rampant. " Why,
what Is this ?" a.-ked madam, In amaze
ment. " This," said tlio man of money,
" isour family coat-of-arms. Mygrand
father made his money carting manuro
In Brooklyn, and In vested it in renlestalo,
in New urk. Now listen to tlio ex
planation of tho arms. This mound ami
fork represent my grandfather's occupa
tion ; tlio cock perched upon tho top of
tlio fork represents myself, who havo
done nothing but Hap my wings and
crow on that dunghill ever since." Tho
carriage slill has plain panels.
Ax exchange says that within a
mouth after the opening of tho New
York Inebriate .Asylum over fifteen
hundred applications were made by
wealthy parents for tho admission of
thelrr daughters, who had contracted
bad habits of Intemperance from thu
use of wines and liquors at fashionable
'I'm: Harpers havo Just published
"Felix Holt, tho Radical," tho last,
and In many respects the l't novel of
tlio talented authoress of " ltomola."
To cure a felon Suspend by the ucel;
fur about half an hour,