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PUBLISHED EVEEY SATURDAY.
ALLISON PEHKIXS, Pcblisiixbs.
lOLA, ALLEN COUNTY, KANSAS.
TERMS-TWO DOLLARS PEB TEAR.
OFFICIAL PAPER OF COVXTT.
"' COUNTY OFFICERS.
BAMS County Clot
OHftSv... Hegfeter oTDeeu
J H Bichirdi, virtS-,:L:1f?.rnc?
O M Simpson "5 -???i,i,SSI
J ? & -S-Patotcntot Fubhc Wg
J L WOOCla,... i,,Tnr
A WUl. Comn.Usionc.-s
bue Boueurake, J
U M Simpson, I
K N Yates, ) Trrjuaatr
Corner of Jefferson avenue and Broadway St.
Services every Sabbath at 10K a-, m. and 7 p. m.
Prayer metaas Thursday "?& J
Corner Madison avenue and Western street.
8ervleesl03ia.in.and7n. m. Sunday School at
SK. m. J- W. PiOTXBTOS, Pastor.
On Sycamore street. Services every Sabbatt at
10!.'a. m.and7p. m. rrayerrneetingonThnni
3tar evenlMT. Church rnertlna-at S p. m. on
Saturday before the first Sabbath in each month.
Sabbath School at 12 o'clock . m. .
C. T.Tlot, Pastor.
IOLA LODGE, NO. 38,
A. F. ft A. Masons meets on the nrsi
and third Saturoays in every moum.
Brethren in good standing are invited
ai. uaaitjoa. . .
j. N. Wiiot, Sec'y.
IOLA LODGE, NO. 21,
I. O. of Odd Fel
lows hold theirrrgular
P ii.p ...ttlnf- in their
hall, next door north or the post omce uuuw
brethren in i ViST?NttU.a-
J. S. CouasGSj Sec'y.
H BANCROFT, Proprietor. IOLA.Kaxsas.
. This boue has been thoroughly repaired
and refitted ami is now the most desirable place
in the city for travelers to stop. No nun ill lie
spared to make the guests of the Leland feel at
home. Baggage transferred to and from Depot
free of charge.
H. W. TALCOTT,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, lola, Allen connty,
Kansas. Office on Madison avenue, one door
east of Wm. Davis. Cases berorc any of the courts
.of the State will receive careful attention. All
-collections promptly remitted.
NELSON F. ACERS,
ATTORNEV AT LAW, lola, Allen county,
Kansas Has the only .full and complete set
of Abstracts of Allen county. .
J. C. Mcruav. J. II. Kickaiids,
MURRAY & RICHARDS,
ATTORNEYS AND COUNSELORS AT LAW.
Money in sums from M1 00 to 8.-,0W 00
loaned on long time upon Improved Farms in
Allen, Anderson, Woodson, and Neosho coun
M. DeMOSS, M. D.,
OFFICE over Jno. Francis & Co.'s Drug Stare
Residence on Washington avenue, 2nd door
south Neosho street.
H. A. NEEDHAM,
COUNTY CLERK. Conveyancing carefiiUy
done, and acknowledgeinenta taken. Maps
ftbd jilans neatly drawn.
D. F. GIVEN3,
iTpnuiEVP Jv.vrF.l.TM. AXD CLOCK
W Kemlrer. ai the postofficc, lola, Kansas.
Clocks, Watches and Jewelry, promptly and
neatly repaired and warranted. A fine assort
mcut of Clocks, Jenelry, Cold pens and other
fancy articles, which will be bold cheap. .
DR. S. TOZER,
TENTAL SURGEON, is now prepared to
IB . a. r. .. t .11 I... .llT..n.., fn.ia
A anenu vj ienusirj iu uu i uiwiui. iui.".
in the latest and most appro cd st j le; the bct of
material used, and general satUloction puran
teed Also a sure cure for Sore Mouths. Charges
as reasonable as elsewhere. Office over John
J. N. WHITE,
T TNDERTAKER, Madison avenue. lola, Kau
'U sas. Wood coffins constantly on bond an 1
llearsealwaysinreadines. Mctalic Burial Cac3
furnished on short notice.
' S. S. YOUNG,
.T ..rn orr-wiCriTIf SHOP.
EScUJeweiry, I Mk thosewbo maj haw -
notions ior saic u h "" ?, -?: F "
Needles a apectelty. Remember the place. Hrst
"door east of Washington avenue on north side or
J. E. THORP,
BARBER SHOP on Washington avenue first
l'otatoes. Corn and Hickory Nuu taken in ex
change ror worau
WnUTPli We wiU give energetic men and
USINESS THAT "WILL PAT
ram4 to $3 per dar. n te J'?,rsn1 m T,,ur
awn neighborhood, and is atrfctly honorable.
rertlalanfree, or samples worth several dollars
4bat will enable yon to go to work at. once, will
fee nt on receipt of "Sfeyjj,, .,
t 29S Washington 8t., Boston, Mass.
GEO. A. BOWLU3,
Meal Estate Broker,
DOES A GENERAL LAND AGENCY
Collects Rents, Pats Taxes, &c
Office on Madison avenue, one door east Wm.
Dayis, . -
lfotiM of FimmlSattlejaeat.
ALL Creditors and others interested in the
Estate of Sosan Richmond, deceased,
will take notice that at the next term of the
Probate Court of Allan Connty, 1 will make final
settlement of said estate.
8. P. LUCES, Administrator.
December tth, 1874: SW
TOB WORE of great variety and of
superior style done promptly at the
nS. " f 'a Vpoano Valley Register.
Y Vho you fir I "A "J" '' '
1 5. TrojnJ.r ifi -I if is rir I'if i T o
"-mstreiti'iTiater ani'i: r ''- Ti-'-,'
'O iZ'J a2 ;.av j;'
THE IOLA REGISTER.
PICTURES OF MEMORY.
BT 1UIE CAST.
Among the beautiful pictures
That hang on Memory's wall,
Is niie of a dim old forest.
That eeemeth the beat of all :
Not for its old oaks olden.
Dark with the mistletoe;
Not fur th violets golden,
That sprinkle the vale below;
Sot for UV 3ilk-vhite lilies,
That lean from the fragrant hedge.
Coquetting all day with ih sunbeams.
Anil stealing their gulden edge;
Not for the ines on the upland,
Where the bright red lurries rest;
Nor the pinks, nor the pale, sweet cowslip;
It seemeth to rue the out.
I once had a little brother,
With cj J that were dark and deep
In the lap of that dim old forest,
lie lielh in peace asleep.
Light as the down of the thistle,
Free as the n mils that blow,
We roved there, the beautiful Summers,
The Summers of long ago ;
But liis feet on the hills grew wear",
And, one or the Autumn eves,
I made for my little brother,
A bed of the yellow leaves.
Sweetly his pale arms folded,
My neck, in a meek embrace,
As the light of immortal beauty
Silently covered bis Dee;
And when the arrows of sunset
Lodged in the tree-tops bright.
He fell in Ins saint-like beauty,
Ableep by the gates of light.
Therefore, ofall the pictures
That lung on Memory's nail,
That one of tlw dim old forest
beemeth the best ofall.
TdE STORY OF A VALENTINE.
WLen my friend Capt Terrible, U. S.
N., dines at my plain table. I am always
a little abashed. I know that he has
been accustomed always to a variety of
wines and sauces, to a cigarette alter
each course, and to a cookery that would
kill an undeveloped American, bo, wnen
the captain turns the castor round three
times before selecting his condiment,
and when his eyes seem to be seeking for
Worcestershire sauce and Burgundy wine
i feel the poverty of the best feast I can
turnish him. I am afraid veteran maga
zine readers will feel thus about the odd
little story I have to tell. For I have
observed of late that even the short sto
ries are highly reasoned ; and I cannot
bear to disappoint readers. So, let me
just honestly write over the gateway to
this story the warning. I have no Cay
enne pepper. No Worcestershire sauce.
No Cognac. No dgvetiei. No mur
ders. No suicides. No broken hearts.
No lovers' quarrels. No angry father.
No pistols and coffee. No arsenic. No
laudanum. No shrewd detectives. No
trial for murder. No heartless coquette.
No "deep-dyed villain with a curjjjog
mustache."" Now if, after this warning,
you have the courage to go on, I am uut
Hubert said I might print it if I would
disguise the names. It came out quite
incidentally. Wo were discussing the
woman question. I am a "woman's
righter." Hubert the Rev. Hubert
ice, I should eay, pastor of the "First
Church," aud, indeed, the only chucch
in AUcnville is not, though I flatter
myself I have made some impression on
him. But tbe discussion took place in
Hubert's own house, and wishing to give
a pleasant turn at the end, I suppose, be
told me how a year and a half before, he
had "used up" one woman's rights man,
who was no other than old Dr. Hood,
the physician that has had charge of the
physical health of Hubert and myself
from the beginning. Unlike most of his
protesMon, the 'doctor has always been a
radical, and even the wealth that has
come iii upon him of late years has left
him quite smuch of a radical, at least in
theory, as ever before. Indeed the old
doctor is not very inconsistent in prac
tice, for he has educated his only daugh
ter, Cornelia, to his own profession, and
I believe she took her M. D. with honors
though she has lately spoiled her pros
pects by marrying. But socially he has
become a little aristocratic, seeking an
exclusive association with his wealthy
neighbors. And this does not look, very
well in one who, when La wjs poor, was
particularly bitter on "a purse-proud
aristocracy." I suppose Hubert felt
this. Certainly I did, and therefore I
enjoyed the conversation that he re
peated to me, all the more.
It seems that my friend Hubert had
been away at the seminary for three
years, and having at last .conquered in
his oreat battle asrainst poverty, and
having gained an education in spite of
difficulties, .ana having suppuett a city
church for some months during the ab
sence of the pastor in Europe, ho came
back to our native vniase to resi on ms
laurels a few weeks, and decide which of
the rather impecunious calls he would
accept. When just about to leave he
took it into bis head for some reason, to
"drop in" on old Doctor Hood. It was
nine o'clock in the morning, and the
doctor's partner was making morning
calls while the old gentleman sat in his
office to attend to any that might seek
his services. This particular morning
happened to be an unfortunate one, for
there were no ague-shaken patients to
be seen, and there was not even a case
of minor surgery to Telieve the tedions
ness of the morning office-hour. Per
h&ps it was for this reason, perhaps it
was lor tne sase oi oia acquaintance,
that he save Hubert a most cordial re
ception, and launched at once into a sea
of vivacous taiK. lurneiia, wno was iu
the office excused herself on the ground
that she was cramming for her final
ez&mination and seated herself at a win
dow with her' book.
"I am afraid I take your time, doc
tor," said Hubert
"O no, I am giving up practice to my
partner, ur. teps, ana siiau gne .
to him in a year or two."
"Tn liim and Hiss Cornelia?" queried
Hubert, laughing. For it was currently
reported that the young doctor and Cor
nelia were to form a partnership in other
than professional affsirs.
Either because he wished to attract
her attention, or for some other reason,
Hubert soon managed to turn the con
venutinn to tha subiect of woman's
rights, and the old doctor and the young
parson were soon Burling at one another
all the staple, and now somewhat stale,-
aiguiucuu suuub wuwiu o mi.m ......
woman's unfitness for many things. At
last, perhaps because he was a little cor
nered, Hubert said:
"Now, doctor there was a queer thing
happened to a student in my class in the
seminary. I don't suppose, doctor, that
you are much interested in a lore story,
but I would just like to tell you this
.,... i .1..-.1- .ol) ir not anolV
-a ticaily a?
"Go on, Hu, go on; I'd like to hear
the story. And as for my principles,
they'll bear applying anywhere 1" and
the old doctor rubbed his hands together
"This friend of mine, Henry Gilbert,"
said Hu, "was, like myself, poor. A
long time ago, when he was a boy, the
son of a poor widow, the lot on which he
lived joined at the back the lot on which
lived a Mr. Morton, at that time a thriv
ing merchant, now the principal capital
ist in that part of the country. As there
was a back gate between the lots, my
friend was the constant playmate from
earliest childhood of Jennie Morton. He
built her playhouses out of old boardi,
he moulded her clay bricks for her use
and carved tiny toys out of pine blocks
for her amusement. As he grew larger,
and as Jennie s father grew richer, and
came to live in greater style, Henry
grew more shy. But by all the unspo
ken language of the eyes the two never
failed to make their unchanging regard
known to each other.
"Henry went to college early. At
vacation timo the two met. But the
growing difference in theirsocial position
could not but be felt. Jennie's friends
were of a different race from his own.
Her parents never thought of inviting
him to their entertainments. And if
they had, a rusty coat and a lack of
money to spend on Kid gloves wouiu
have effectually kept him away. He
was proud. This apparent neglect stung
him. It is true that Jennie Morton was
all the more kind. But his quick and
foolish pride made him fancy that he
detected pity in her kindness. And yet
all this only made him determined to
place himself in a position in which he
could ask her hand as her equal. But
you do not understand, doctor, as I do,
how irresistible is this conviction of duty
in regard to the ministry. Under that
pressure my friend settled it that he
must preach. And now there was before
him a good ten years of poverty atlesst
What should he do about it?
"Iu his extremity he took advice of
a favorite theological proiessor me
professor advised him not to seek the
hand of a rich girl. She would not be
suited to the trials of a minister's life.
But finding that lknry was firm in his
opinion that this souud general principle
did not in the least apply to this partic
ular case, the professer proceeded to
touch the tendercst chord in the young
man's heart. He told him that it would
be ungenerous, and 'in some sense dis
honorable, for him to take a woman del
icately brought up into the poverty and
trial incident to a miuibter's life. If you
uudurstood, sir, haw .morbid his sense of
honor is, you would not wonder at the
impression this suggestion maue upon
him. lo give up tne ministry was in
his mind to be a .traitor to duty and to
God. To win her, if he .cculd, was to
treat ungenerously her whose happiness
was dearer to him a thousand times than
bis own." .
"I kope he did not give her up," said
'Yes. .he cave her up. in a double
spirit of mediaeval self-sacrifice. . Look-
lllg towaru tue ministry, uc suutuutim
his love as some of the old monks sacri
ficed love, ambition, and all other things
to conscience. Looking at her happiness,
he sacrificed his hopes in a more than
knightly devotion to her welfare. The
knights sometimes gave their lives. He
"ror three years ue uiu not irusnum
felf to .return to his home. But having
graduated and settled himself for nine
months over a church, there was no rea
son why he shouldn't go to see his mother
again. And once in tho village, the
sight of the old school-house and the old
church revived a thousand memories he
had been endeavoring to banish. The
garden walks, and especially the apple
trees, that are the most unchangeable of
land-marks, revived the old passion with
undiminished power. Ho paced his
room at night. He looked out at the
new house of his rich neighbor. He
chafed under the .restraint of his vow not
to think again of Jennie Morton. It
was the old story of the monk who thinks
the world subdued, but who finds it all
at once about to assume the mastery of
him. I do not know how tho struggle
might have ended, but it was all at once
stopped from without.
"There reached him a rumor that
Jennie was already the betrothed wife
of a Colonel Pearson, who was her fath
er's paitner in business. And indeed
Colonel Pearson went in and out at Mr.
Morton's gate every evening, and the
father was known to favor his suit.
"Jennie was not engaged to him how
ever. Three times she had refused him.
The fourth time, in deference to her
father's wishes she had consented to
'think about it' for a week. In truth
Henry had been at home ten days and
had not called upon her, and all tho
hope she had cherished in that direction
and all the weary waiting seemed in
vain. When the colonel's week was
nearly out kite heard that Henry was to
leave in two days. In a sort of despera
tion she determined to accept Colonel
Pearson without waiting for the time
appointed for her answer. But that
gentleman spoiled it all by his own over
confidence. "For when he called after Jennie had
determined on this course, he found hsr
so full of kindness that he hardly knew
how to behave with moderation. And
so he fell to flattering her, and flattering
himself at the same time that he knew
all the ins and outs ot a girl's heart, he
complimented her on the many offers
she had received.
"'And I tell you what,' he proceeded,
'there are plenty of others that would
lay their heads at your feet, if they were
only your equals. There's that young
parson, Gilbert, I think they call him,
that is visiting his mother, in the un
painted and threadbare looking little
house that stands behind this one. I've
actually seen that fellow, in his rusty,
musty coat, stop and look after you on
the street, and every night when I go
home, he is sitting at the window that
looks over this way. The poor fool is in
love with you. Only think of it I And
I chuckle to myself when I see him and
say, "don't you wish you could reach so
high I" I declare it's funny.'
''In that one speech, Colonel Pearson
rfuthpd his chances to pieces. He could
not account for the sudden return of
winter in Jennie Morton s manner. Ana
all his sunshine was powerless to dispel
it, or to bring back the least approach of
"Poor Jennie 1 Uu can lmigme
doctor, jiow .he t..u.cd tho floor all thit
IOLA, ALLEN COUNTY, KANSAS, JANUARY 2, 1875.
night. She began to understand some
thing of the courage of Henry Gilbert's
heart, and something of the manliness
of his motives. AU night long she
watched the lurht burninir in the room
in the widow's house; and all night long
she debated the matter nntil her head
ached. She could reach but ono conclu
sion: Henry was to leave tha day after
to-morrow. If any communication was
ever opened between them, she must bc-
in it. It was as if she had wen him
rifting away from her forever, and must
mruw iiiui a lupu. uiiuk ctru sucu a
Neman's right-man as yourself would
hardly justify her, however, in taking
any step of the kind."
"I certainly should," said the doctor.
"But she could not find a way she
had no rope to throw. Again the colo
nel, meaning todoauythingelsebtit that
opened tho way. At the breakfast table
the next morning she received from him
a magnificent valentine. All at once
she saw her method. It was St. Valen
tine's day. Excusinghcnclf from break
fast she hastened to her room.
"To send a valentine to her faithful
lover was tho uppermost thought. But
how? She dare not write her name, for
after all, she might be mistaken in
counting on his love, or she might otrend
his prejudices or his pride by so direct
an approach. Sho went fumbling in a
drawer for stationery. She drew out a
little pine boat that Henry had whittled
for her many years before. He bad
named it 'Hope,' but the combined wis
dom of the little boy and girl cctld not
succeed in spelling the name correctly.
And here wauue little old ooai ne nau
given, sayrngTjttcn aitcrwara mat it was
the boat they two were going to sail in
some day. The misspelt name had been
tne BUUjeck oi iiiauy a laugii ucmixu
them. Now but Iuiustn't be seuti
mental. "It did not take Jeaaie long to draw
an exact likeness of tlie little craft. And
that there might be no mistake about it.
sho spelled the name as it was on the
side of the boat:
"'HO A P.'
"There was not another word in the
valentine. Sealing it up, she hurried
out with it, and dropped it in the post
office. No merchant, sending all his for
tune to sea in one frail bark, ever watch
ed the departure and trembled for the
result of the venture as she did. Spain
did not pray half so fervently when the
invincible Armada saucu. it was au
unuttered prayer an unutterable pray
er, ror heart and nope were me i.iumg
of the little picture bcit that sailed out
that day, with no ther wind but her
wisucs iu iu sans.
"She sat down at her window until
she saw Henry Gilbert pas the next
street corner on bis morning nv.uk to tne
postofnee. Three minutes alter he wnt
home, evidentlv in a great state .of ex
citement, with "her valentine open is his
hand. After awhile he went back again
toward the postoEce, ana returned. Had
he taken a reply?
"Jenuie again sought the office. There
were people all around with those hid
eous things that they call comic valen
tines open in their hands. And they
actually seemed to think them funny!
Sho had a reply. It did not take her
Ion? to find her room an-l to open it.
There was another picture of a boat, but
the name ou its side read 'dbspau:.'
Anil these words were added : 1 our
ioat is the pleasanletl, but un ttrsl'indlmj
that there was no vie u p'nes up-m u, i
have been obliged to Uili pwvjt upon, thi.'
Slowly the meaning forced it-elf upon
her. Henry had lers tnat sue wumn nu
thought engaged was coquetting with
him. I think, doctor, you will hardly
justify her in proceeding further with
"Why not? Hasn't a woman as much
right to make herself under-.Uvxl in such
a matter as a man? And when the so
cial advantages ere on hsr side the bur
den of making tho advances often falls
upon her Many women do it indirectly
and are not censured."
"Well, vou know. I'm conservative.
doctor, but I'm glad you're consistent.
She did send another valentine. I am
afraid she strained this figure of speech
about the boat But when everything
in the world depends on one metaphor
it will not do to bo fastidious Jennie
ilnuv .-vain this little ln.lt with misspelt
..... -. -
name. And this time .vm :uiiia livel
words : ' The mister's place U v-iainl.'
"And ouite late in the altcruoon, tne
ronltr UIU Ipft at tllQ doirt ' M (III
applicant for the vacant phtce, if you will
.",.. jf.-i Tt j. ...
lUlM HIM VJ llVVtCI . ,,s-
"Good." cried the doctor; "l always
advocated giving women every liberty
in these matters."
"But I will stump you yet, doctor,
guM I'.iliprt. That evening tjrougli was
to lecture in the village, .fid my tnenu '
went, not to hear Goti!?'i, but to see Jiiss
Jennie Morton at a dUtance. Somehow
in thf stunefaction of revived hope he
had not thought of going to tho house to
see her yet. He had postponed his de
parture and had tnrown a.vay ins sciu
pies. Knowing how'mnch opposition he
would have to contend with, he thought,
if he thought at all, that he must proceed
with caution. But sometime after the
lecture commenced he discovered the
Morton family without Jennie I Slowly it
all dawned upon him. She was at home
waiting for him. He was near the front
of tho church in which the lecture was
held, and every inch of aisle was lull ol
people. To get out was not easy. B'U
as he thought of Jennie waiting it bo
came a matter of life and death. If the
house had been on fire he would not
have been more intent on making his
exit. He reached the door, he passed
the harmiest evening of his life, only to
awake to sorrow, for Jennie's father is
'dead set against the match."
"He has no right to interfere," said
the doctor, vehemently. "You see I
stand by my principles."
"But if 1 tell the story nnt i am airaiu
you would not'," said Hubert.
"Why, isn't it done T'
"I beg vour pardon, doctor, for having
used a little craft. I had much at stake.
I have disguised this story in its details.
But it is true, I am the hero ",
The doctor looked quickly toward his
daughter. Her head was bent low over
her hook. Her long hair hung about it
like a curtain, shutting out all view of
the face. The doctor waited to tne
other window and looked out. Huliert
sat like a mummy. After a minute Dr.
She lifted a face that was aflame.
Tears glistened in her eyes, and I doubt
nit there was a prayer in her heart.
"You are a bravo girl. I had other
plans. You have a right to choose for
yourself. God bless you both. But it's
a great pity Hu is not a lawyer. He
pleads well." So saying he put on his
hat and walked out.
This is tbe conversation that Hubert
repeated to me that day sitting in bis
own little parsonage in A'lenville. A
minute after his wife came in. She had
been prescribing for the minor ailments
of some poor neighbors. She took the
baby from her crib, and bent oier her
till that Fame long hair curtained moth
er and child from sight.
"I think," said Hubert, "that you
folks who write stories make a great mis
take in stopping at marriage. Tho hon
eymoon never truly begins until conju
gal affection is enriched by this holy
partnership of loving hearts in the life
oi a child. The climax of a love story is
not the wedding. It is the baby I"
"Wliat do you call hcrf ' I asked.
"Hope," said the mother.
"Hope Valentine," added the father,
with a significant smile.
"And you spell the Hope with an 'a,' I
believe," I said.
"You naughty JIu," said Mrs. Corne
lia. "You've been telling. You think
that love story is interesting to .otiitr-.
because you enjoy it so much !
WLit Shall we do With our Daughters?
Teach them self-reliance.
Teach them to make bread.
Teach them to make shirts.
Teach them to foot up store bills.
Teach them not to wear false hair.
Teach them to wear thick, warm shoes.
Bring them up the way they should
Teach them how to wash and iron
Teach them how to make their own
TeeU them that a dollar is only a
Teach them to cook a good meal of
Teach them how to darn stockings and
sew on buttons.
Teach them every day, dry hard,
practical common sense.
Teach them to say No, and mean it ;
or Yes, and stick to it.
Teach them to wear calico dresses and
do it like queens.
Give them a goon, suostaniiai com
mon sekool education.
Teach tfceta that a good rosy romp is
worth fifty consumptives.
Teach them to regard the morals and
not the money of their beaux.
Teach them an tue mysteries oi me
kitchen, the dining room and the parlor.
Teach them that the more one lives
within his income the more he will save.
Teach them to have nothing to do with
intemperate and dissolute young men.
Teach them that the further one lives
beyond bis jecorue the nearer he geta to
ho TWir rinilsp.
Rely upon it that upon your teaching
depends in a great measure the weal or
woe of their after life.
Teach them that a good steady me
chanic without a cent is worth a dozen
loafers in broadcloth.
Teach them tho accomplishments,
music, painting and drawing, if you
liave time and money to do it wHh.
Teach them that God made them in
His own image, and no amount of tight
lacing will improve the model. Daren
An luquiaittve Yankee,
A peering New Englander overtook a
gentleman who was traveling on horse
back, notwithstanding the disadvantage
of having lost :i leg. His curiosity was
awakened, as he rode alongside of him,
to know how he chvnced to meet with
such a misfortune.
"Beets in tho army, I guess f
"Never was in the army in ro life,'
was the reply.
"Fit a duel?"
"Never fought a duel, sir."
Horse throned you oil, I guess, or
something of that sort?"
"No sir; nothing of that kind.
t .i :..4 .i.imw ilfnliis- Uut to
no effect ; and at last, almcst out of par
tienco with himseli, as weti us mui uk
.!,... uiijn iiit?fiip& uas crv
commendable, he determined on a direct
inquiry as to the nature of the accident
by which the gentleman had lot his leg.
"I will tell vou replied the traveler,
,.,.iliiiinrtliat vou will promise not
to ask me another q"ucstidn."
"Agreed!" exclaimed the eager list-
'Well, sir." remarked tho gentleman,
"it was bit off!" ,
"Bit off!" cried Jonathan. "Wii al, 1
declare : I should jest like to know what
on airth bit it on:
Patting Up a Stove-
a . ... Ktftni. in fills ritv
put up his stoves yesterday evening.
When he took thein down last spring he
..... ,,r..i (.. ,it nil the stove-Dine to-
WttS Witiui " p-- -- - r ..
gethcr in good shape, and has careiuiiy
watched it all the season to see that not
a single joint was lost or misplaced. So
he knew that to put up the stoves and
pipe would be the simplest matter in the
world, and consume not more than fif
teen minutes. He commenced the job
at 5 o'clock in the evening. At half-past
ten o'clock supper was still waiting for
him, and he was amusing (?) himself by
running to ana irom me ucsiesi. wi-a,.
for extra joints and elbows, while nu
merous small boys in the street who saw
him by the gas-light, were yelling:
"There goes ono of the nigger minstrels!
At 12 o'clock midnight, he felt hopeful
of getting the job done by breakfost time
this morning. Exchange.
Those who have known anything of
"jour printers" will recognize the picture
delinentated by a Kansas City newspa
per: "He was just in from Indianapolis
i. :a tma Tiiintr nrr in -t had wav there
half rats and half union men. When
he struck Indianapolis he had weaitn
a cool hundred; but he set 'em up for
tbe boys and got broke. Chicago tias a
good town but there was a fearful mob
there, he could not stand it. St. Louis
lUnt ..1.1-ct nut nml ihpr'sfroinsr to be a
strike, so he hopped out. Bought a half
fare ticket to Atcnison, uut ine rousicr
that did the punchin wouldn't have it.
Believed he would skip to Kansas City
and stir up the boys, ami then go over
to the Pacific slope. "Say, ain't there a
freight West?' Give us a chew tobacco.
Well, so long, boys.' And lie s
The Week of Prayer.
The f'jllQTritjg is tLu authorized pro
gramme for the week of prayer:
Sunday, Jan. 3. Sermons: Christ,
the one Prophet, Priest, and King.
Monday, Jan. 4. Thanksgiving and
confession : Review of the past Pray
er for grace to axprws gratitude, not
only with the lip but in the life. Hu
miliation for personal and material sins.
Praj er for the riches ot mercy, and pow
er to overcome temptation.
Tuesday, Jau. 3. National objects
for prayci : For Kings and all iu au
thority; for soldiers and sailors; for pris
oners and captives; for the afllicted and
bereaved ; for the persecuted and the
Wednesday, Jan. 6. Home objects
for prayer : Our children at home, in
business and abroad ; for tutors and
guardians; for universities and colleges ;
for the Christian ministry , for Sunday
Thursday, Jan. 7. Foreign objects
forpravcr: The cxtention of religious
liberty throughout the world ; the pre
valence of peace among nations ; the in
crease of harmony, sympathy and service
among Christians of all lands; the sub
ordination ot international intercourse;
and the increase of commerce and of
science to the spread of Christ a king
dom. Friday, Jan. 8 Missionary objects
for prayer: For the conversion of "the
house of Israel ; for the spread of the
Gospel in heathen lands ; and for the de
liverance of nations from the yoko of
Saturday, Jan. 9. Prayer for relig
ious revival. On the churches through
out the world, for their increase 1n teal,
spirituality and devotedness and for a
clearer witness for the truth among
Sunday, Jan. 10. Sermons: The
essential unity of Christ's Church, and
the obligation binding on all its mem
bers to manifest it "in the bond of peace."
Trials of aa Insurance Agent.
Thn other il.-iv a. well dressed strantrer.
carrying a hand valise, called into a life
insurance office and inquired if the agent
was in. The agent came ior ward, rub
bing ins nanus, anu toe stranger asKeu :
"Do you take life insurance risks
"Yea. sirr plail tn see vou. sir sit
F r - a
down sir," replied the agent.
"What do you think of life insurance,
nnvwav V innuired the stranger, as he
sat down and took off his hat.
"It's a national blessing, sir an msti-
tntinti whir-h in Inotrpd unon with sover
eign favor by every enlightened man and
woman in America.
"Tlu't's what I've always thought,"
answered the man. "Does your com
pany pay its losses promptly?"
"Yes, sir yes, six. If you were in
sured with me, and you should die to
night, I'd hand your wife at ithin
"Couldn't ask for anything belter than
"No, sir no, o1r. The toUo of our
company is: 'Prompt pay and honora
ble dealing.' "
"How much will a $5,000 policy cost?"
inquired the stranger alter a long pause.
"You are let's see say tbjrty-five.
A policy on you would -t 110 the&rst
"That's reasonable enough."
"Yes, that's what we call low, but
ours is a strong company, docs a safe
hiuinra nnd invests in nnlv first class
KwMtritiiw Tf rim nre thinking of taking
out a policy, let me tell you that ours is
the best anu tue saiest, inn even me
agents of rival companies will admit the
truth ot wnat i say."
"And when I die my wife will get her
money without any trouble?"
"I'll guarantee that, my dear sir."
"And I'll get a dividend every year?'
"Vm this is a mutual com nan v. and
patiof the profits come back to the joli
"And it won't cost me but $110 for a
policy of 5,000."
"Tlmi tho. fiVnre. and it's as low as
you can get safe insurance anywhere.
Let me write you out a policy. You'll
never regret it."
'Them's the blanks I s'posc?" said the
stronger, pointing lo the desk.
"Yes," replied the agent as he handed
one no to hint and took up hi pen.
"What did you say shali I fill out an
".No. I guess 1 won t taKC any io-uay,
replied the stranger, as he unlocked his
valise, "but if you mant something that
.:n inl-o that, tvnrt otl vour nose inside
of a week I've got it right here. It's
good lor corns, dubious, uwiawur, -ache,
sprains " ... .,
He was placing his liltlo bottle on the
table, when the agent reached over and
took him by tho shoulder and hoarsely
whispered: "If you don't want to be
come a corpse vou won't be two minutes
getting out of here."
i -a i. .in'i TMrnil Free Press.
.4L11U HO ,.
A True Heroine.
a Mnn titA iioTYtinoa nf the Commune
was a noble woman who, together, with
i,o- innr n vnune- sunreon. had taken
care of the Communists during the days
and nights of their nerce uguwig m
tha Vonaiiiea tmotK. Upon the entry
of the latter into the city, when excite
ment was at its neig'ti, auu neu c.h.
one suspected of coinalicity with the
Commune was shot without a question
being asked, the surgeon was arrested
and brought before the drum-head trib
unal, in the riace uu vnatcic. a.i ..
trembled for the moment in the balance
i . -o finollc amvaii hv ilia inbarcessirn
of one of the judges present, who was an
intimate menu oi me koh.
!.... . koinfr ImI frnm the room he
.n. itA wrrtm.n whom he loved, who had
IMC. ., .m. .. v
helped him in tha care of the wounded
ami who was now accused of the same
crime as himself bad been. "Good God,
Maria!" he excttimea, "are you iiere,
. v tUa MMtman tootr the whole
acene in at a glance, saw the danger into
which she wouia piunge ici tu-ci u.u
oi. nnwrnin him ana drevT herself up
coldly saying, "You are misU.ken sir."
"Bidy," said a lady, "step over and see
i i.i r Tnnu t. this mnrninf." I"
a few minutes Bidy returned with the
information that airs, jones w wihiii
two Yean, seven months and two days
old that morning.
The ties that connect business men
with the public Advertise.
KATES OF ADVERTISING.
E7TnuuIent and Legal advertLwmenta must
be paid for in advance.
Local and Special Notices, 10 cents a line.
All letters in relation to bosinrM in any way
connected with the office should be aiMmaed tu
the Publishers and Proprietor.
Aixifox A Kjuutiss.
Silenceis the attest reply to fully.
Untainted honor is 3 jewel shot call,
Good manners are a part of good mor
als. Men who are in dead earnest generally
make a living.
A client is never certain about a law
yer, and generally takes him on trial.
Pluck and Patience are a strong firm
in transacting the daily business of life.
The proper saluiion when you meet a
writing master is, "how do you flourish ?'
Men's heads arc like wagons, they rati
tie prodigiously when there is little" iu
John C. Calhoun has been arrested in
Memphis for wearing somebody else's
Strength alone knows conflict: weak-,
ness is below even defeat ; for it is born
No manners are so fine as the most
awkward manifestation of good will
Babylon was CO miles within the walls
which were 75 feet thick and 100 feet
"A play upon words," as the fireman
said when he thrust his hose into a book
seller's shop to put out the flames.
A Galveston damsel has sued a young
fellow for breaking her nose while at
tempting to kiss her against her will.
Every nature must have the subsoil
plowing of sorrow,. before it can recognize
either its present poverty or its possible
It makes Boston merchant's wife
mad when tbe papers speak of ber hus
band as an adulteaer merely because ho
puts sand in sugar.
When a young man in Charleston S.
C, saves the daughter of a millionaire
from drowning, he is presented with a
pair of kip boots having red tops.
Tbe advertisement of a Western stone
cutter reads: "Those who buy tomb
stones from us look with pride and satis
faction upon the graves of their friends."
A western poet who bad expressed a
wish to die "amid the grand solitude of
the eternal mountain tops," was kil'jd
by the explosion of a pint of cheap ker
osene. They don't ask if a young Georgian
owns land or personal property, .but
when he commences to court a girl they
query: "How many lottery tickets has
he got r
A lady wants to know what is the
meaning of "ante" and "pass." Ur
matrimonial partner uses it in his
dreams, and she is afraid it indicates
During a secret session of a Chicago
board of commissioners, one of the mem
bers was astonished to sec the tip of aa
auger coming through the floor. A party
of reporters had taken possession ot the
A little girl reading the "History of
England" with her mother, and coming
to the statement that Henry I. never
laughed after the death of his son, looked
up and said: "What did he do when he
was tickled f
A Missouri aspirant to matrimony ad
vertises that he will give three mules to
any maiden who wilt -wed iim ; which
gives rise to the question, what respect
able married woman would want such -a
Hard currency forever A Pennsyl
vania fool fooled with a pistol. Ball
struck a five-cent piece in bis waistcoat
pocket, and took to.his boots instead f
bis vitals. A thousand dollars in paper
would not have saved him.
A policeman in Chicago passing a house
the other night heard a woman scream
ing: 'O. Henry, Henry, come here
quick! Susan! mother! the baby!'
Gallantly breaking in the door and rush
ing up stairs, the oracer found the uauy,
had just cut a tooth 1
The Leetnror of the National Grange
writes that "getting drunk" isa violation
of a Patrons obligation, and we hope
there is a strong enough moral and tem
perance sentiment in each Grange to
enforce the letter of the law.
An absent-minded man entered a Troy
shoe store, the other day, and wanted his
boy measured for a pair of shoes. "But
wherc's the boyf' asked the dea'er.
"Thunder!" said tho man ; "I left the
bov at home! I'll go and get him ; and
off he started for his bouse six blocks
Corpulent old lady "I should lite s
ticket for the train." Booking clerk
(who thinks he will make ajoke) ; "Ye;
will you go in the passenger train or
cattle tram V Lady "Well, if you are
a specimen of wbat I shall experience in
., i" ? ? .tAl.A. ttm
ine passenger train, kivb mc a utcv im
tbe cattle train by all means."
A Detroit vounz woman tried to be
aristocratic and did not look at the mos
ey she gave the street car conductor, but
he meekly gave her back the lozenge on
which was printed : "I'll never cease to
love thee," and said that be wks b or
phan with live little brothers to support
and that he must be excused.
.A titwil .nit In Tjwell involves tha
question of how much publicity U given,
: it.uiiflIiAl. n matter written
IU .ue GJ1..I mmm .-, - . - ---
on a postal card and sent through tbe
mail, iw uciciumuh !...
the plaintiff on a postal card accusing
t,;m nf Cimr. nH his defense ia that
as-tho Post office clerks are enjoined to
secresy, were was uv mum ui m pauuvai
tion than if the matter had been seat ia
a sealed letter.
King Kalakaua, who la now visiting
this country is thirty-eight yeara of age
a-native of Hoaolula, and a graduate of
the royal school. He i a fine looking
man, with moustache and side whiskers
and is said to possess considerable cult
ure and an extensive knowledge of inter
national law. He visited California ia
1860 in company with several native
Princes. He married ia 1 863 a daughter
r . TT..;;,n ohief Prrrfanato hut
election he held a podtkiu as clerk ia
the interior Department, and was Secre
tary of the Privy Council under the last
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