Newspaper Page Text
RATES OF ADYEEnSHKJ,
THE IOLA REGISTER.
PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY.
I w.'2 w.4 w.
nr.'i ra.iS ra.ls m.llTa.
o;.'0.t ao.es o$iJi
SO J 001 6 SO 10 SO IS 00'
.1 1 SO 2
3 SO J 00 6 50 10 SO IS 00'
5 00 7 OJ 8 SO 13 00 OU
S SO 10 COI12 00 17 SO- 9S on
. 2 00) 3 0
ALLISON PEUKIXS, IVblisiikiw.
.i a so 400
.1 3 SO 3 SO
a Mill 00113 oo j oil ss on
o auito IW.IB UOI23 0J1I7 00 M 001 00 00
10 00.16 OO'arotW 00B8 00 90 00 100 00
IOLA, -ALLEN COUNTY, KANSAS.
TEKJI3 TWO DOLLARS PEE YEAIt.
OFFICIAL PAPER OF COUNTY.
IOLA, ALLEN COUNTY, KANSAS, FEBRUARY 6, 1875.
Hon. JRCoodin, Dietrxt Jud;e
2C F Accra Probate .Illume
AVni Thrasher , County Tieaiirer
1IJA Needhani, County Cleik
i 31 Brown, llcgtsler of Deeds
.1 II Richards, ....County Ailoropjr
!M mn-u,,... ...ClerL Distiict Court
J K Itrraii, Superintendent Public JsehooH
J L Woot'fn.'.'
A VT How'and
W C Jones, .
I. L Lone,
.s I Stauber, I
T, Walker, ...
O M SunRSon, I
; X Yates, J
II W Talrutt, .
J X Woollomei,..
' METHODIST EPISCOPAL.
Corner of Jefferson aenue ami Broadway St.
Service eery Sabbath at 0)i a. m. andTp.m.
I'rajer meeting Thtu-sdaj- evenings at 7 p. m.
it. K. Merit, Pastor.
Corner Madison avenue and Western street.
Services 0i a. iu. and 7 p. ra. Sunday School at
ii'ia. m. J- " . Pimceutos, Pastor.
On Svcamore street. Services every Sabliath at
10 a. m. and7 p. m. Praycrmeeting on Thurs
day evening. Church meeting at 2 p. m. on
Saturda before the first Sabbath in each month.
.iiimth s.htMil t 19 o'clock m
C. T. Floyd, Pastor.
IOLA LODGE, NO. 38,
A F & A Masons meets on the flrst
and third Saturda s in eery month
Brethren in good standing uie invited
to attend M DeMOSS, W. M
, J. X Wiiite, feec'y.
IOLA LODGE, NO. 21,
I O of Odd Fel
lows hold their regular
i inert in-rs every Tues-
' tlty evening, in their
hall, ne-vt door north of the po-t oflice Visiting
brethren in BoaiitoA.
J. S CrujirsGS, Scc'y.
I would I wene an ujblon a rose
Cliue slioi iu leives of green
So shut ilut none had ever guessed
The color hidden in its breast
By blush of pink between.
Then when your f.tee but turned my way,
As now. the crumpled sheen
Of c, iui-oii hM so safe away
Mould kti, tile livelong summer day
Within, unheard, unseen;
But, when your fool step nearer drew,
Would buret I lie siren a.urf,
And petals glow tug In the sun
Would chrooie'e to eiery one
The new life at my heart.
And tally sweet of all the leagues
Youjijsedori.ea or shore
The cl.i-ping calyx si ill should bold;
I'oreieryoue, liiire would unfold
One velvet peialnioi-e.
So whc.i at tosl, no tpace liclweeii,
Your o a Uiita slem you broke,
And in jour baud my ie,iect grace
Peahaiicejoii lifted lo you,-face,
Although no word j ou -poke
Ah, then indeed, thcpei.ilsnll
Down on I lie dewy snard might fall
Before ou as you went;
And if ie.rhauceyour eager feet
Migiit 11 ml for them the way more sweet,
Tbeu I wei-e all content.
For so nieihi aks the one lost word
Tbat mocks my various o,ucst
Jliut ulieivd be, though neer beard,
And that were Rest!
la Harper's MugazUefor 1'th rarj.
Theaters awl Theattr-UoiD
HBAXCnOFT, Proprietor. IOLA, Kansas.
. This house has been thoroughly rehired
and refitted and Is now the most desirable place
in the city for travelers to stop. Xopainj will be
Hiared to make the guests of the Leland feel at
home. Baggage trausrerred to and from Depot
Jrce of charge.
PltOCTOB, Proprietor. Iola,
Knnis. Sincle meals 23 cents. Day uoaro.
era one dollar per day.
H. W. TALCOTT,
ATTOBXEY AT LAW, Iola, Allen connty,
Kansas. Olhce ou iladi-on avenue, oie door
jcast of Win. Davis. Cases beforeauyofthc com Is
r the State will receive careful attention. All
collections promptly remitted.
NELSON F. AOERS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW, Iola, Allen county,
Kan-as Has the only full and complete set
of Abstracts of Allen county.
J. C. MCKRAT J- II. RlCItAKDS,
MURRAY & RICHARDS,
A TTHB VKYS AST) CODXSELOKS AT LAW.
X Money in sums from S.VW 00 to Sj,WU 00
loaned on long tune ujotu Improvea turms in
Allen, Anderson, Woodson, uud Xeosho coun
D. F. GIVENS,
WATCHM-VKEB, JEWELEU, AND CLOCK
Ifeiairer, ai the postofficc, loU, Kansas.
Clocks, Watches and Jeweby, promptly ami
neatly iriiaired and warrantetl. A tine assort
jient of Clocks, Jewelrv, Gold pens and other
Jaucy articles, which will be wild cueap. .
S. S. YOUNG,
HTF.tr r.ITV AND SILVERSMITH SHOP.
IN Having located in Iola for the purpose of
repairing Guns, J'istols, Clocks, Watches and all
kinds or Jewtfry, I at those who may have an v
-uork in rav link to chi'iuea tiialas 1 warrant alt
work to give satisfaction. A good asortment of
notions lor saie. uum iru- mi n iu ji.Kaiinc
XwxIleH a siiecialtv lEruirmlier the place, flrst
door east or Wasuiojton avenue on north side of
M. DeMOSS, M. D.,
OFFICE over Jno. Francis A Co.'s Drugstore
Residence on Waohington avenue, 2nd door
soutn eosno sireet.
H. A. NEEDHAJI,
"OCNTY CLERK. Conveyancing caiermiy
K, done, and ock-nolediemenis taken
uud plans neatly drawn.
J. N. WHITE,
T TNDERTAKER, Madison avenue, Iola, Kan
J sas. Wood coffins constantly on hand and
lleai-sealwavsiureadiness. MelaVc Burial Cases
furnished on short notice. i
J. R THORP,
BAEBEE SHOP on Wrshington avenue first
doorsoulhofL.L.Xorlhiii!i's. Wood, Coal,
Potatoes, Com and Hickory 'UU taken in ex
change ror worK.
SOflJjiTHISG AMCT GOIXil EAST.
The shortest possible route between the Great
"West and the East, North and South, is over the
St. Louis, Kansas City and Northern Short Line.
This road has gained surprising importance by
reason of immense cinendilines in tae last two
jears, ofoiertno milium dollars, bes-des earn
ings, in improvements of roadway, iji-elajing
their line w ith best qiulily of new sieeland i.uii
rails, on broad new ties, aud by siUMtilut.ng for
oruinarj'cars, new reclining chair coaches, ele
gantly carpeted and dlted, with dressiug noiu
with toilet conveniences for ladies, geuilemen
and families travelinv wbh child-eu, vULon a)
extra charge. This l"ae runs siv &st Eijiiess
trains between the Missouri aud Miss'uwip.ii R'v
crs, two morcthan any other road, anil connects
withalltbegivatlhrong'd line) East, WestNor.il
andSouth. It is remarkably tree from accidents
Ty reasonofailopting every modem appliance for
comfort, speed and safety, including uiz.it and
day watchmen, who insiect the roail before and
after the passage of each train to see tlut etery
thing is secure. We recommend those couteiu
plating a trip East to take the St. Louis, Kansas
City Northern Short Line, either through St.
Loius.the great metropolis of over 45O.U00 inhab
itants, or through Chicago, via the Chicago & Al
ton Short Line, over the Louitiaoa Bridge, now
open for the passage of through trains- Ticket
Agents of connecting roads felling through tickets
to the East, North or South, will furnish tickets by
this excellent line. For map, circulars, time
cards and Information relative to rates, Ac., ap
ply to or address Lyman McCarty, Kansas City,
Mo., or P. B. Groat, St. Louis, Mo.
Otra SEW IDEA. FOE AGENTS.-
icrure and Frame business
story. They are free to ail.
In the Man, Chart, Picture and Frame business.
Our Circulars tell the story. Tbev are free to all.
v ir vnaa
311, 3JS SIS Ltcrut Strttl. St. LmuTSo.
The recent discussion of the influence
of theaters has brought up the old sub
ject again, and called fora re-statement
ol what we regard as the true and ra
tional position of the church upon the
question. The radical mistake of the
Protestant Church of this country is
that lack of discrimination, in its con
demnation of theaters, which has gone
to the extreme of making that a sin it
self which is not a sin at all. To go to
the theater, for an evenings entertain
ment, is regarded by multitudes as a
flagrant wrong. So wrong is it consid
ered in iUelf, or so bad it is in example,
that ministers are shut out of the theater
as a class, with a sweeping completeness.
For a clergyman to be seen in a thea
ter, is to compromise his position and
influence. We know that many clergy
men regard this as a hardship, for they
have told its so ; but their unwise prede
cessors have made the bed for them, and
they are obliged to lie in it. The public
opinion that has been generated iu
church, by pulpit criticism and denun
ciation, has built a wall around the the
ater so high that men holding responsi
ble positions in the church cannot cross
For Uiis position of the church, the
stage itself is very largely responsible.
The stage has always been under strong
that the devil hada very strong hand
upon its owner. Millions of men and
women have been bred to believe that
cardplaying was with or without rea
son a sin in itself. That time has
passed away already, and the innocent
little pasteboards have became a source
of amusement in great multitudes in
Christian families. Children never
could see any reason in their exclusion,
and the church is stronger in the child's
mind for the change that has occurred.
Billiards were once so associated with
vicious resorts and vicious practices that
a man dtsgrecea ntmseii oy appearing
where they were. Now a biliard table is
in nearly every house that can afford one,
and is purchased in many instances as a
home-guardian of the morals of the
boys. Novel reading was once as thor
oughly under the ban as theater-going.
We remember the time when the novel-
reader hid his booksread them when
he ought to have been asleep stole their
charms on rainy days, in garrets or on
hay-mows, and then passed lhem into
the hands of some other tly thief of
pleasure, who still passed them on, until
they were worn out. Well, the first
novels were poor. They gave false ideas
of life, and were condemned en mawe by
the church ; but the church found at an
early day that it wauled novels for its
own purpose. Now the great majority
of Sunday-school hooks are novels of a
religious sort, while every christian li
brary holds Scott and Dickens, and
Thackeray ; and the public libraries and
the reading clubs all over the land, find
more readers for their novels than for
any other class of hooks. They have
become the sources of moral, political,
and social instruction, as well as of gen
eral entertainment, within as well as
without the church.
We allude to thesa sources of amuse
ment and the great change that has oc
curred with regard to them, for the pur
pose of illustrating that wbich is cer
tainly progressing in relation to the
theater. We have parlor theatricals,
and they are recognU.-d more and more
as harmless aud instructive amusements.
We have dramatic exhibitions in our
educational institutions. We go to the
opera really for its music, but we are
obliged to get this through the most
vapid dramatic compositions that can be
imagined. In short ce have acknowl
edged in many ways, that the representa
tion of a play is not wrong in itself,
while our christian travelers make their
pilgrimages to Oberammergau to witness
a play that degrades the great christian
tragedy to the common place of specta
cular drama. The time is rapidly com
ing provided, of course, that those who
have the theater in charge stand, as good
mea and women, by their obligations to
lie DldVt Get Place-
A Washington correspondent says tbat
the congressman's bane is the young man
who "wants a positioa." Hunting gov
ernmental situations 'for needy women
and indolent middle-aged heads of fami
lies is a dreary task enough. But it has
its bright side in the fact tbat it fur
nishes bread and butter to those who
might otherwise be sore pressed for even
bread alone. For the insane young
man, however whose only ambition is a
routine job, where the work is moderate
and anxiety -a minimum, the Congress
man or Cabinet official cherishes but
scanty regard. The desired situation
may, indeed, be looked up. Home in
fluence has its weight with thosa in
authority in Washington, and when a
shallow youth comes here with his va
lise crammed With endorsements from
local dignataries elsewhere, the person to
whom he is consigned generally gets him
"a place." But it is the.ruin of the
youth. I wish I could exhibit the av
erage department male, the one who has
settled down to the listless round of a
government nobody, to the young men
of other localities who aspire to similar
cuervation. He is a business and a
social corpse. By the time he has daw
dled thrugh a dozen years as a depart
ment servitor, he is devoid of manliness,
and as incapable of acting and thinking
for himself as a sawdust stuffed doll.
Let me show you how men of brains
and energy view this business. Several
years ago a slabsided, awkward printer
boy from Maine found his way to Wash
ington in search of "an easy place."
Tom EJwia was then Secretary of the
Iuterior. He was also uncle of our
gawky-place hunter. To him the
youngster naturally applied for assist
ance in getting the desired situation.
This was the encouraging answer he
received from Edwin :
"I will not get you a place ia any of
the departments. Moreover, if you find
a place, and go to work, I will use all
my influence to have you dismissed. I
want you to get out of Washington. I
am not going to have you made into a
limp and helpless nonentity if I can
help it. Go any where else go to the
devil if you like you shan't stay in
The enspi rating consul drove the print
er youth back to Maine again. Had
Edwin found him the desired ''p'occ,''
A Duger ta be Avelded.
There is no more important measure
before Congress than that of which Sen
ator Morton has charge the change in
the method ot electing the President and
Vice President. Under existing cir
cumstances, it is possibly a question of
civil war; for, by the joint rule of Con
gress, if either branch persists in its re
fusal to receive the electorial vote of t
State, it must be rejected, and if enough
are-rejected to prevent a majority of the
whole for cither candidate, the election
is thrown into the House. Thus in lcU4
New York had thirty-six electorial votes,
which were cast for Polk, and elected
him. Had they-been given to Clay, he
would have been elected. The majority
claimed for Polk, in the State was six-
thousand, bnt fraud was generally sus
pected, and in many cases proved. In
Louisiana, at the same election, the
Placquemine frauds of John Slidcll gave
the slate to Polk by 970 majority. But
Congress did not raise any question, and
the five votes of Louisiana and the thirty
six of New York were counted for Tolk.
In 1S7C however, the Senate will be Be
publican and the House Democratic If
the contest should be close, and tie re
turns favor the election of a Republican,
the House could reject States enough on
various pretenses to draw the election
into its own power, and make a Demo
This is a chance that involves too
much peril to be tolerated. Every man
who thinks of it a moment will sec all
the risks, and they are risks that can very
easily bo avoided. It is. a question of
method merely, and Mr. Morton's pro
posed amendment will at least avoid this
difficulty. There are defects of detail
such as the two Presidential vote3 at
large in the States, for which there seems
to be no sufficient reason. It is a kind
of premium, which is useless. The sub
stance of Mr. Morton's plan, as reported
last year, is the division of each State
into as many districts as it has repre
sentatives, and the peron having the
highest number of voles in the district
to receive its vote. The candidate who
has the highest number of votes in the
State is to have the two premium votes.
Mr. Morion's plan gives Congress power
to establish tribunals lo settle contested
elections. This is a very simple plan.,
but does not provide for a really popular
election, since the majority of the dis-
23-Truient and 131 advertisementa most
4w paid for in advance.
local and Special Xotloes, 10 cents a line.
-AU lethr-s in relation to busiaeM i aT war
connected wiib tiie offlce should be addicted to
the Publishers and Proprietors.
Johi Drewa st Gerritt Saitfc's.
uewouiu lo-aay oe lying tape a:OU..u , . , ., ,,..,.,., u...e ;u vote,
, , ...v. ...
tempattons to self-degredation. If iP tne pllblic, and uphold the dignity of
had always been pure; it the amusement, th! flrtwtlen Christians will seek
it has offered to the public had always
been innocent; if it bad not at one pe
riod of its history been a breedins pUce
of vice ; if it had not presented strotig
attractions to those who"seek the society
of lewd women; if profanity and poorly
disguised obscenity had never had a
place in the plays presented ; if impure
imagination bad not been cherished
among the young by half nude dancing
girls; in brief, if the animal nature
the lower nature had not been address
ed so persistently by those who have
assumed the entertainment of the pub
lic, the church would never have -taken
the position that it has. It is not to be
wondered at that the protest was strong,
when the provocation was so shameless.
The old menifthe presentday remember
the horrible "Third Tier" of their youth.
They remember, too, the double entendre,
the polite profanity, the broad jest, that
woke the disgusting cheers of "the pit"
It is no justification of an institution
that has arrogated to itself the title of
"a school of morals," that it offered what
was demanded, and what the public
most willingly paid tor. It was a part of
the legitimate office of the staje to pro
tect public morals and to educate the
public into a pure taste. The enmity of
the church toward the stage has not
been without cause.
Bnt the stage is better than it was, on
the whole. We have the vile theaters
in New York, to-day all together too
many of them plays presented that
degrade or vitiate the tase and the mor
als of those who witness them men and
women on the boards who are base in
character and life. On the other hand,
we have theaters whose aims are high,
and actors and actresses who have pride
of personal character, and a desire and
determination to hold their most inter
esting art to purity and' respectability.
These people faithful husbands and
wives, intellectual men and women, good
fathers, mothers, maidens, friends and
citizens naturally chafe under the
wholesale condemnation which the
church visits upon them. We cannot
blame them for this. We can only
ask them to be patient with a state of
things which a multitude of their pre
decessors and many of their contem
poraries have helped to bring about
The church is gradually working toward
their recognition, and they must give it
time to more.
There was a time, and it was not long
ago, when cards were banished from ev
ery Christian household. The older men
and women of the church very well
remember when a pack of cards found
in a boy's trunk would be taken as proof
amusqment in their presence, from their
performances; when they will discrimi
nate between theaters as they do between
novels, and when the premium ot their
presence and patronage will be offered to
those who serve them conscientiously.
As a people we have no such superflu
ity of amusements and recreations that
we can hold one under ban, that is to
itself harmless and legitimate. We work
under great pressure, and need much
more recreation than we get. If a man
thus pressed feels that a pure dramatic
representation refreshes him, he ought
to be at liberty to avail himself of it,
and the time is certainly coming when
he will do so. The histronic art is as
legitimate as any art, and any man or
woman who practices it worthily and
well, deserves our honor, ay, our honor
and our sympathy, for the art life is a
hard life toliveunderany circumstances.
To be obliged to rely for a livelihood
upon the plaudits of the multitude, and
to be the subject of the caprices of the
press and the public, and the jealousies
that are inseparable from all art-life, i3 a
hardship from which the bravest man
and woman 'tnay well shrink. If, among
those who have so niiuy temptations to
strike a low key that they may. at least
please "the groundlings," there is a con
siderable number who appeal to the no
bilities of humau nature, let us give
them our hands and help them to build
up a pure taste in the public mind. We
have only to remember that the theater
is with us, that it will stay, and that the
church has a great responsibility con
cerning' the stage of the future. If it
supposes that condemning it at a street's
length and indiscriminately will dis
charge its duty, it will find itself sadly
mistaken. Dr. J. XJ. Holland, i'a Scrib
bundled documents, or sticking offici
stamps on sombody else's letters, in one
of the departments, an inert hutna;.
routine machine. But the uncle s sensi
ble brusqueness was his nephew's salva
tion. The name of that young applicant
was James G. Blaine, present Speaker u'.
the House of Representatives.
The Culouse liolllo.
A rather contemptible trick was play
ed on one of our young clerks Sunday
Thu. if there were ten districts in a
5'ate, each with a thousand votes, and
nine of them should give ten majority
and one of them five hundred majority
for B, A would receive nine out of the
ten electorial votes, uesiaes tne two
Slate votes, while B would have the
highest number of voles in the State.
Thus a minority election would be pos
sible, as under the present plan.
Mr. Wright of Iowa has an amendment
pendiug providing for the direct election
nijjht He bought a cut glass bottle of ,,., ,i.. .. m,k;? the term of the
colonge, with a glass stopper, and pink ire.,;,cCy a,l Vice Presidency six
ribbon, to present to a young lady he i ( ycari with ineligibility for re-election,
keeping company with, but on reaching Congress will hardly care to enter at
the house he felt a little embarrassed for , ,).:, ,,..,: Uvi the debate of a sinsle
fear there were members of the family
present, and so he left the beautiful gift
on the stoop, and passed in. The move
ment was percieved by a graceless brother
of the young lady, who appropriated the
colonge to his oVn use, aud refilled the
bottle with hartshorn from the family
jar, and hung around to observe the re
sult In a little while the young man
slipped out on the stoop, and securin
term, but it should consider no duty
more imperative than a provision, such
as Mr. Morton's bill contemplates, that
Congress shall determine some reasona
ble method in which contests may be
decided. Nothing could be worse than
the existing plan, aad it is monstrous
that the peace of the country should be
left to the mercy of so clumsy and foolish
a device. It is only necessary to imag
ine splendid gift, slipped back again toine the decision f a Presidential elec
"There is nothing beautiful and good
that dies and is forgotteur- An infant, a
prattling child lying in its cradle, will
live in the thoughts of those who loved
it, play its part though its body burned
to ashes, or drowned in the deepest sea.
There is not an angel added to the hosts
of heaven bnt does its blessed work on
earth in those that loved it here. Dead !
Oh ! if the good creatures could be traced
to their graves, how beautiful would
death appear, or how much charity,
mercy, purified affection would be seen
to have growth in dusty graves."
The school-ma'am may not be a mind
reader, but she makes many a reader
They call A. H. Stephen "Ninety
pounds of dried Confederacy."
the parlor, where, with a few appropriate
words, he pressed it upon the blushing
girl. Like a faithful daughter she at
once hurried to hci mother, and the old
lady was charmed.
They didn't put up scent stuff like
that when she was a girl; it was kept in
a teacup, and was held together by
samples of all the family's hair. But she
was very much pleased with it. She
drew out the stopper, laid the petals of
her nostrils over the aperture, and fetch
ed a pull at the contents that fairly
made them bubble. Then she laid the
bottle down, and picked up a brass
mounted shovel instead, and said as soon
as she could say anything: "Where is
that slinking brat?" And he, all un
consious of what had happened, was in
front of the mirror, adjusting his necktie,
and smiling at himself. And here she
found him, and said to him: "O you
are lau"h ins: at the trice on an old wo-
tion depending upon the vote of Lou
isiana in her present situation to see
with what calamity the country would
bo immediately confronted. We trust
that there will be no delay, and that Mr.
Morton will urge his proposition vigor
ously. Harper's WecLIy.
The Saltan and Satan.
A friend of the late Gerritt Smith re
lates the following incident which occur
ed at the Smith mansion at Peterboro,
several years ago :
Old John Brown and a sen of Henry
B. Stanton were on a visit to the Smiths.
One morning young Stanton and Green
Smith, Gerritt's son took a number of
rifles of various patterns from the house
and erected a target with a small bull's
eye in the center, for the purpose of try
ing their markmanship and the quality of
their rifles. While the boys were shoot
ing, the old abolition hero came up and
looked on. The distance was about fifty
yards; and the skooticg was a little
"Captain, suppose yon try a shot or
two," said young Smith to John Brown.
The old veteran, without saying a
word, ran his eye over the rifles, and se
lecting the one that suited him best,
loaded it carefully, and took his stand
a little back of where the boys had siood.
Then holding the rifle on his right sicl?,
with the muzzle close to the ground, be
looked straight -at the target, drew the
gun up dowly, and fired the instant his
eye sighted the mark. The ball pierced
the center of the bull's eye. He fol
lowed this up with two more, in like
matter. The second shot struck just
inside the edge of the bull's eye, and the
third shot, like the first, pierced the
"There boys," said the old man laying
down the gun, "that's the way to shoot."
Facts ia Ltuisiaaa.
The facts as they directly concern
Louisiana have not really been ascertain
ed by the country. There is much reas
oning from analogy, and but very little
trustworthy information. We do not
believe the statements of Grant and
Sheridan, because those soldiers do not
receive their information from sources
worthy of our trust The testimony
before Mr. Morton's committee was not
complete. Unfortunately the sub-committee
of Congress elicited very little
testimony that has great bearing upon
the so' u tion of the problem. Republican
testimony, so far, is altogether untrust
worthy. As for Democratic testimony,
there can hardly be said to be-any. The
great staple of Democratic speeches is
not facts, but Thomas Jefferson. In
truth, if the Democrats arc going to save
Louisiana they mean to do it with an
cient history and proverbial Latin. The
facts are yet to be known ; but we think
they will eventually be resolved into
these : That the negro is too ignorant
to rule either himself or the white ele
ment ; and that the white men can rule
Louisiana more whely and.honestly, not
withstanding that they are snobbish,
clannish, passionate and narrow-minded.
They are in advance of the negro, how
ever, both moral ly and intellectually, and
they must and will rule. Frank Lalie't
The 'boa that crossed the 'Ocean Columbus.
A corn extractor that has never been
patented The crow.
The school fund of Indiana amounts to
oter t8,OW,000, T '
Speculation upon the spring bonnet,
begins to occupy the female mind.
"So dark and yet so light," as the man
said when he looked at his ton of coal. -.
Delaware has decided that a man
without money has no business at an
A Sunday-school teacher recently'told
his class that Jeremiah was the first
Prince of Wails.
Writing poetry for the newspapers h
said to be putting one's thoughts into
words that burn.
Bed used on a railroad signifies danzer
and says stop. Displayed on a man's
nose it means the same thing.
This year's annual dividends on the.
stocks and bonds of the various corpora
tions at Hartford amounts to $2,518,963.
A little girl upon her return from a
children's party Leing asked if she had a
good time, replied "Yes ; btrt there was
n't much boys there."
The ladies cannot complain of want of
appreciation in Chicago, ninety-three
percent of the teachers employed there
"Where are you going?" asked a little
boy of another, who had slipped and
fallen down on the icy pavement. ,"Go
ing to get up," was the blunt reply! ""
A school boy spelled "sob," and then
defined it thus: "I means when a fel
ler don't want to cry and it bursts out
The (Irane an Educator.
One of the most important among the
educational advantages to be derived
from the Grange, is the new interest it
gives to the people, and especially to the
farmers, in relation to matters of public
and political, but not partisan interest
One. great cause of the present corrup
tion in governmental affairs, is the lack
ot knowledge and interest in such mat
ters manifested by the great mass of the
people. Everything is left to the poli
ticiansthe people either don't vote at
all, or vote merely as the politicians
tell them. The Grange teaches its
members to inquire into, understandand
take an active interest in the science of
government and true, social economy.
The workingman from this time out pro
poses that labor shall posess the dignity
which intelligence gives, and which cap
italists and politicians will respect, but
which thev cannot rule.
A punster being requested to give a
specimen of hb art asked for a subject
ine king." "The king is not a -sub
ject," be replied.
"What station do you call this?" said
a man, as he crawled out of the debris of
a railroad smash un. "rVrnstntinn
replied the urbane conductor.
At the reunion of Almuni of Cleveland
High School the oration was delivered
by John P. Green, Esq.. a colored grad
uate, he having been sclecled for that
"Deal gently with the 'erring," as the
cockney said when his fellow-boarder
evinced a disposition to eat up all the
smoked fish, and leave him nothing but
It seems to me I have seen your physi
ognomy somewhere before, said a swell
to a stranger whom he met the other day;
"but I cannot emagine where." "Very
likely," replied the other; "Have .been
the keeper of a prison for the last twenty
"So you are going to teach a school!"
said a young lady to her maiden aunt
"Well for my part, sooner than do tbat
I would marry a widower with nine
children." "I should prefer that lifn
myself," was the quiet reply, "but
where is the widower?"
There is the story of an eastern Sultan
who overslept himself so as not to awak
en at the hour of 'prayer. So the devil
came and awakened him, and told him
lo get up and pray. "Who are youf
said.the Sultan. "Oh.Tuo matter," re
plied the other, "my act is good, is it
not? No matter who does thegoodaction
so long, as it is good." "les' replied
the Sultan, "but I think you are Satin.
I know your face you have some bad
motive." "But," says the other "I am
not so bad as I am painted. You see I
man, are you, you wall eyed leper." 1 have left oQ my horns and tail, lama
And she busted him on the ear. And pretty good fellow after all. I was.an
be, by nature more eloquent with his. angel once, and still I keep some ot my
legs than bis tongue, hastened from there
howling like mad, and accompanied to
the gate by the brass mounted shovel.
He says he would give everything on
earth if he could shake off the impression
that a mistake had been made.
That was just and yet an awful rebuke
administered by Senator Schurz, when
he said, in the Senate of the United
Stales, speaking of colored men being
discharged by employers for voting the
wrong ticket: "I cannot forgot that, as
to the discharge of laborers from em
ployment for political cause, a most se
ductive and demoralizing examply is set
by the highest authority in the land."
This applies to all "authorieties," demo
cratic and republican, who turn good
men out of office who vote the wrong
war. Party spirit is the bane of repub
original goodness." "lUals all very
well," replied the sagacious and prudent
caliph "but jou are the tempter; that's
your business, and I wish to know why
you want me to get up and pray."
"Well said the devil, with a flourish
of impatience, "If you must know. I will
tell. If you bad slept and forgotten
your prayers, you would have been sorry
for it afterwards, and penitent: but if
you go on as now, and do not neglect a
single prayer for ten years, you will be
so satisfied with yourself tbat it will be
worse for you than if you bad missed one
sometimes and repented of it God
loves your fault mixed with penitence
more than your virtue seasoned with
Blood will tell, A granddaughter of
Dr. Paley has beaten all the boys in
Cambridge in moral science.
How history is made is shown by Gen.
Q. A Gilmore in the Eveninj PotL A
writer, W. S. Andrews, having professed
to give an account of the naval boat as
sault on Fort Sumter, Sept 8th, 1SG3,
the General writes to say that the ac
count "is in a large measure destitute of
truth. Indeed, the most important state
ments are sheer fabrications from begin
ning to end." Perhaps there is no-law
by which such "manufacturers" of facts
can be punished, but the public ought to
have them under its ban.
And here is another example: ' The
Washington Chronicle having asserted
that Bishop Wilmer, of New Orleans
whose name was signed to the refutation
by the clergy of General Sheridan's
" banditti " dispatch" distinguished
himself several years since by ordering
the name of President Lincoln erased
from the prayer-books in his diocese," a
gentleman well versed in churchhistory
has publicly contradicted the statement
by announcing that "President Lincoln
expired on the morning of April loth,
1865, whereas Bishop Wilmer was con-
consecrated November .7, 1866, about
five hundred and seventy-one days after
the death of Mr. Lincoln."
Arsica Linimest. 2 ounces alco
hol ; 1 dram tincture arnica. Unequal-
ed for pains in the feet and limbs from
walking ; for all fresh or recent sprains,
bruises or contused wounds, and for
rheumatism of the joints and gouty
"Why Jimmy," said one professional
beggar to another, "are you going to
knock off already? It's only two
o'clock. "No, you mutton-head." re
sponded the other, who was engaged in
unbuckling his crutch; I'm going to put
it on the other knee. You don't suppose
a fellow can beg all day on the same
leg, do you f
A sailor's wife bad just received ktel
that her husband had perished at sea.
She was visited hy a neighbor wLo
sympathized with her on her loss, and
expressed a fear that she wonld be poorly
off. "Deed will I," said the widow ; bu" t
he did all he could for me he's saved
me the expense of his buryin."
An intolerable bore having talked a
friend nearly out his senses, finally
struck .put on the "oyster," which he
called "one of "the most remarkable
specimens of human wisdom extant;"
when his friend interrupted him and
"closed the debate" with the exclamation
"the oyster I Ab, yes, the oyster is a
glorious fellow ! He always knows when
to shut up 1"
The rights of women are marching on.
Patience, persistence, and preparation
will in the end extort everything that
ought to be conceded. The ladies are
allowed to study for colleigate degrees
even in Peru, while a Miss Lipscombe
has just been appointed, by the English
Register General, to the office of Deputy
Register in one of the sub-districts of
Worcester the fist case of the kind ia
the history of the department.
The Zurich Cremation Society now
numbers over 660 members, and has lat
terly given evidence of a resolve to bring
its views to a practical beano;. It has
already opened negotiatiations with
Professor Simens of Dresden, fcr the
construction of a furnace for consuming
bodies. A committee has also been
appointed to select a suitable place for
establishing a columbarium where ares
with the ashes of the deceased are placed
j- ? jljVmS-" -
jj-jf--. ilMf'li iMgroi'allra)! ruaiiif- hi-i ia)r. n-fmrri jii ifAnOfrTrt' fi .' . i'wi Lft?jtf'li 'jti ,