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The Iola register. (Iola, Kan.) 1875-1902, August 15, 1902, Image 1

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WHWOCTWjA' H-wiH" A
tuto IHatorJotvl fjoototy
THE IOLA REGISTER,
RK0I8TER, KlTABLIIHXD IMS.
uOURANT, EsTABLianiD 1883.
DStlOOItAT.KlTADUSHSD 1888,
KLSMORK KAOLK, KiTABMaitXD 1890.
SAVONBDEa PR0QRK8B. KlTABUiniD 1891.
IOLA, ALLEW QOUNTY, KANSAS, FRIDAY, AUGUST 15, 1902-
VOL. XXXVI No. 39
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s Editorial Notes J
The London dato lino may now po
away bade and sit down.
The Hood-Martlndalo controversy
got a frosh start at Topoka Wednes
day. Our Idea of a curiosity is tbo man
who still bcllovos ho is for Mr.
Bryan.
We foar that Mr. Craddock's expla
nation has slid oil onto a siding
somowhorc.
The meanest thing they havo been
able to say of W. J Bailey is that ho
is unmarried.
We hope Senator Carmack isn't
Btaklng hiit political reputation on
Malno going Democratic.
It appoars that tho Michigan Demo
crats aro also so foolish as-to be
liovo that thoy know bost.
As WE go along it is just as woll to
remember that Kansas wits tho first
stato to dcclaro , for Roosevelt in
11)01.
Brvan calls Thoodoro Roosevelt a
"bloodthirsty Iprcsidont." Wo, think
it is about time to quarantine) against
this man.
From tho fact that Bob Fitzslmmons
has failed to make good with the libel
suit wo tako It that his character is
convalescing.
There has been no montlon of Cap
tain Hobson for several days and wo
foar tho man may bo neglecting somo
opportunity.
Mr. Carmack oxpects Maine to go
Republican. Wo trust tho gentle
man's expectations aro equipped with
a parachute that will open.
Now thoy uro quarrelling over the
reward which was o Herod for Tracoy.
Why not givo it to tho enterprising
newspaper correspondents?
IP Mr. Bryan really does decido to
go homo, his family doubtless will bo
pleased to embraco this opportunity
to becomo acquainted with him.
IP Mr. Bryan oxpects to maintain
tho pace which ho set in yesterday'
Commoner, ho should tako the pro
caution to print tho thing on asbestos.
The fusionlsts cannot bo blamed if
thoy aro not just bubbling over with
onthuslasra. Thoy aro riding fast to
tho placo whoro tho votes aro cuuntcd.
As UBual, Mr. Craddock did not
show up at Circloville. Tho Demo
cratic candidato for governor has a
keen appreciation of tho value of sldo
stopping.
This is tho soason of tho year when
tho Rocky Ford cantaloupe makes its
a ppearance in tho nowspapers. Luter
on it may be found in tho hotels and
restaurants.
The Kansas City World hasn't
elected any of tho Democratic nomi
nees for Congress in Kansas for sev
oral days, and wo fear that Bob Rug
glos may bo sick.
Our ldoa of un optimist Is tho man
who hopes that tho timo may como
when Mr. Bry.an will bo willing to
allow somebody olso to soak up a
little of tho political llraollght.
The absenco of tho mud slingor in
this campaign is one of tho pleasing
features of it. Mud slinging Is moan.
It nover does any good and is pro
ductive of a dark brown taste after tho
unpleasantness is over.
"Shaw openslt," says a nowspapor
hoadllno. For tho bonolit of Secretary
Shaw's oxcltablo friends It Is well to
oxplaln that it was not a jackpot
which tho gentleman openod, but tho
Republican campaign In Vermont.
The forolgn correspondents who aro
handling tho Muy Yoho assignment
may not know it, but tho country
could worry through a break in the
thread of tho narrativo and not ex
perience any appreciable discomfort.
Senator Carmack and Mr. Bryan
say that tho Phillpplno question will
bo koptto tho forofront of the Demo
cratic national campaign. This would
bo interesting and important if anybo
py cared what Mr. Carmack and Mr.
Bryan thought about it.
Senator Hanna says that tho Re
publicans of Ohio will havo to llnd
Eotno ono olso to tako his soat in tho
Sonato, as ho wants to quit, Thoro
will bo no lack of avallablo candi
dates. All of tho Ohioans aro not In
olllco, tho general Impression to the
contrary notwithstanding,
The easy chair critics aro having
an Inning with Explorer Baldwin.
The Illinois Populists havo decided
to hold a stato convention. What for?
Suppose it should develop that Mr.
Craddocknover had any explanation
to offer?
The storm of Sunday proves that
tho tornado, liko death, has all sea
sons for Its own.
It is about tlmo for tho antl-lmpo-iallsts
to Issue a letter denouncing
President Schurman.
This is tho season of tho year when
tho vital statistics in tho cltios try to
keep pace with tho thermomctor.
The persons who walk dollcatoly
and llvo in tho soft places of tho earth
aro still on tho trail of Kxploror Bald
win. Our ldoa of a phenomenon is a man
who can keop track of Mr. Bryan's
attitudo on his candidacy for the pres
idency. It is almost too much to hope, but
tho timo may como when Mr. Bryan
will find it necessary to stop talking
in order to attract attention.
What a lot of fuss is mado over
tho crowning of a King. In this coun
try wo would run out and accomplish
a job of that kind during tho noon
hour,
It iscstlmatod that it will cost 100,
000 to ro-olcct tho Hon. Billy Mason.
Wo do not bcliovohis re-election Is
worth more than 13309,000 to tho peo
ple of Illinois.
Ip you aro congratulating yourself
on tho closing of tho Tracoy incident,
you may as well guess again. Tho
Tracoy Incident will remain open until
tho prlzo money is paid.
In vlow of tho fact that W. II. Crad
dock has not been elected governor of
Kansas by Hugh Farrolly for sovera
days, wo tako It that Mr. Farrolly's
imagination is indisposed.
Mr. Craddock may congratulato
himself on just ono thing: Having no
opportunity to judgo, tho people can
never know whethor or not ho could
huvo reduced tholr taxes one-half.
Mr. Bryan says that tho Republi
cans of Iowa havo endorsed his prin
ciples. IIo also says thatthoplatform
adopted will ultimately weaken tho
party. Mr. Bryan should try getting
together.
Senator Teller's term expires on
tho 4th of next March, and Colorado
Is now in tho Democratic column.
Sonutor Tollor's.llttlo investment ut St.
Louis is still paying political divi
dends. .
In characterizing Mr. Roosovolt as
a "bloodthirsty prosldonf'Mr. Bryan
has succeeded In dispelling tbo gen
oral impression that ho had said all
tho foolish things with which his
vocabulary was oqulppod.
Senator Stewart, of Nevada,
who was elected to tho United States
Senate asa Populist, is out with a
statement telling how tho Republicans
aro going to get about Jail tho votos
In Novada. How this must jar tho
Lawrence JolTorsonlau Gazotto.
Clyde Knox who has been furnishing
copy for thaCoffoyvlllo Journal over
since tho presont management has had
control of tho paper, has purrtiasod
tho Sodan TImos-Star and took chargo
this week. Ho is a good writer and a
practical nowspaper man and will un
doubtedly mako a success of his new
undertaking.
Eugene Ware Is discharging em
ployes of tho Ponslon Olllco for drunk
enness. Tho now commissioner of pen
stons may "scarco boliovoa thing of
tho stories that I aro told of tho mora
cles of old," but ho has a pretty good
working idoa of morality, us cortaln
bibulous gontloraon aro likely to
loarn to tholr sorrow.
Every Ropublican convention of tho
year has ondorsed tho administration.
Kansas was tho first stato to doolaro
for Roosovolt for president in 1004,
and this action was quickly followed
by Pennsylvania, Missouri, Minne
sota, Nebraska and Iowa. Tho gen
tlemen who aro trying hard to dis
cover a broach botweon tho President
and his party havo a lot moro guess
ing to do.
Another of Captain Strong's mis
fortunes is that ho has a namo with
which tho paragraphcrs aro ablo to
play ping pong.
Strenuous efforts should now bo
directed toward kcoplng Senator Car
mack out of Pennsylvania. IIo may
also concludo to carry that stato for
tho Democrats.
Mr. Carmack says that tho Maine
Democrats aro pleased with tho poli
tical outlook, but that thoy hardly ex
pect to carry tho stato this timo. Mr.
Carmack, though, who is In posses
sion of excluslvo information, Is very
sure that tho Republicans will bo do
foatod. Senator Bailey says ho is going
back to Wushlngtonto bring about the
removal of Judgo Pcnflold. If Senator
Bailoy Is going to romovo him via tho
pugilistic route, wo would advise him
to pad himself thoroughly,hoforo mak
ing tho attempt. Judgo Pcnflold has a
sort of Senator Bailoy reputation
himsolf. ' '
The Democrats of tho First District
havo called a cdngrcsslonal' conven
tion. It is saidthatWaltcrN. Allen, of
Jefferson county, will bo nominated
to run against Charles Curtis, because
he has announced that ho will spend
$10,000 In thbuampalgn. Wo prcsumo
Mr. Allen fcols that Ills money needs
tho exercise
Yet moro and moro it is ovldont
that tho stato, and If necossary, the
nation, has got to possoss tho right of
supervision and control as regards
tho groat corporations which aro its
creatures; particularly as regards the
great buslnoss combinations which
derlvo a portion of tholr importance
from tho oxlstenco of somo monopolis
tic tendency, Theodoro Roosovolt, In
speech at Minneapolis, September 2,
1001.
IT Is not only highly deslrablo, but
necossary, that thoro should bo legis
lation which shall carefully shield
tho interests of tho wago-workers, and
which shall discriminate in favor of
tho honest nnd humane employer by
removing tho disadvantage under
which ho stands when compared with
unscrupulous competitors who havo
no conscionco, and will do right only
undor foar of punishment. Theodore
Roosovolt In speech at Minneapolis,
Soptombor 2, 1001.
KUA KliHUUTUS.
Up at East Aurora, Now York,
thero is a man who stylos himself Fra
Elburtus, and ho publishes a maga
zlno known as tho Philistine. It is
just a little magazlno, und sometimes
it Is called a froak magazlno by the
unthinking.
Ono morning tho editor of tho Phil
istine woko up and found hlmsolf fa
mous. He had written a picco called
"A Mossago to Garcia." It was aser
mon on tho sin of indifference Tho
Now York Central A Hudson river
railroad thought so much of tho ser
mon that it printed moro than a mil
lion copieB. If a do.cn of tho com
pany's thousands of employes read
tho sermon and mado it a part of
thoir working capital, tho company
has got its money back by this time.
Tho philosophy of Fra Elburtus is
very simplo. Anybody can under
stand it. It Is so easily understood
that many pot-sons read It heodlossly,
thinking it 1b not phllosuphy ut all.
Here Is somo characteristic advice
from Fra Elburtus:
"If tho concern whero you aro em
ployed is all wrong, and tho Old Man
a curmudgeon, It may bo woll for you
to go to tho Old Man and confidently,
quietly and kindly toll him that ho Is
ucurmudgcon. Explain to him that his
policy is absurd and preposterous.
Then show him how to roform his
ways und you might offer to take
chargo of tho concern and cloanso It
of Us secret faults.
"Do this, or if for any reason you
should prefer not.tbon tako y ourcholco
ofthoso: Got out or get in lino. You
havo got to do ono or tho other now
mako your choice.
"If ho pays you wages that supply
your broad and buttor, work tor hlra
spoak woll of him. think woll of him,
stand by him and stand by tho insti
tution ho roprcsonts.
"I think if I worked for a man
would work for him. I would not work
for him part of tho tlmo, and the rest
of tho tlmo work against him. I would
givo an undivided sorvlco or none.
"If put to tho pinch, an ounco of
loyalty Is worth a pound of clover
noss. "You cannot holptho Old Man so
long as you aro explaining In under
tone and whisper, by gesturo and sug
gestion, by thought and mental atti
tudo, that ho Is a curmudgoon and his
system dead wrong. You aro notnoo
ossarlly menaolng hlra by stirring up
discontent and warming envy Into
strifo, but you are doing this: You
aro getting yoursolf upon a woll
groasod chuto that will givo you a
quick rldo down and out."
JUDU E GRIGGS' MISTAKE
Judgo Griggs, chairman of tho
Democratic National Committee, Is
no ft sorry that ho carao out In an in
terview donounclng tho Republican
party for tho protection of tho tin
plato Industry and othor manufacturers
In this interview tho Domoeratlo
chairman maintained that a largo
number of Amorican manufacturers
wore selling goods In European mar
kets at a much low&r flguro than thoy
wero offering them to tho American
consumer. For tho nonco tho Judgo
thought that ho had found tho para
mount issuo for which tho Democrats
havo been searching in vain. Then
tho Republican editors and tariff ex
perts began to puncture his argu
ments, showing that his figures were
not roliablo, and that thoy did not, in
most instances agreo with tho facts.
After his arguments concerning tin
plato had beon oxpludcd, Judgo
Griggs appoared In another interview,
in which, while hedging on his orlg
onal statements, ho insisted that tho
tin plato lie referred to In his talk did
not go to Europe as tin plato, but In
tho form of manufactured cansandttns
containing tho product of American
factories. At any rato ho wanted to
mako It plain that the tin plato indus
try was being oxcossively protected.
His moro rocent interview fell into tho
hands of Charlos Dick, secretary of
tho Ropublican national committee,
who went through tho long light In
which tho Democrats contended that
tin plato could never bo profitably
manufactured In this country. Gen
eral Dick predicted that tho day
would come when tho Democrats
would protest against tho protection
of tin plato, and ho has already seen
tho fulfillment of his prophecy. In
discussing tho inlerviow of tho Demo
cratic congressional chairman, Gen
eral Dick said:
"Ten years ago tho Democrats in
sisted that wo could not mako tin
plato in this country. Wo mado -10,
000,000 pounds of it in 18i and last
year tho output aggregated 278,000,000
pounds. Ton yeurs ago tho Demo
cratic party contended that wo could
not mako tin nlato at all in tho United
States. Today tho leaders of that
party complain becauso wo mako so
much of it under tho Ropublican pol
icy of protection to American indus
tries and ut such prices that, in tho
faco of foreign competition, wo aro
ablo not only to supply tho demands
for homo consumption, but to sell our
surplus product in tbo markets of tho
world.
"It Is vory kind, however, for prom
inent Democrats liko Col. Bryan and
Chairman Griggs thus oarly to an
uounco free trano and frco silver as
paramount Issues of tho ensuing
campaign thus reminding the votora
of all parties of tho dismal and un
fortunate conditions which prevailed
throughout our country from 1893 to
1807 under Democratic frco trado, and
forcibly calling attontion to iho
marvelous prosperity which has come
to us since thurchabllltatlon of Repub
lican policies Immediately succeeding
tho inauguration of Willium McKIn
ioy as President of tho United States.
"Tho prosperity of tho pcoplo has
been marked In every branch of in
dustry. Wages havo advanced, tho
number of persons omploycd has
greatly Increased, tho products of tho
farms havo doubled in value, and the
oarnlngs nnd savings of tho pcoplo
havo lurgoly incroasod. Deposits in
tho savings bunks of tho country,
those deposltoriesof tho surplus funds
of tho worklngman, tho pensioner, the
widow and tho orphan, wero 8090,000,
000 greator in tho singlo yoar of 1901
than In 1890. Tho Individual deposits
in tho national banks of tho country
wero $1,:142,800,900 greator In 1001
than in 1890. Thus tho Individual do
posits In tho savings und national
banks of tho country now oxcocd thoso
of 1800 by tho enormous sura of $2,
014.000,000. "Olllclal records show great pros
perity among tho pooplo engaged in
each and all of tho great Industries
of tho country tho farmer, tho manu
facturer and ills millions of wago
oarnors, and thoso engaged In tho
mlnos and forests.
"Tho valuo of tho livestock on tho
farms of tho cduntry, which wus re
ported by tho agricultural dopartment
In 1800 at 1,727,020,003, Is reported
at $2,081,034,115 by tho census of 11100.
Tho census reports show an Incroaso
of $4,521,000,000 in tho valuo of farm
products In 1000, compared with 1890.
with tho increased activity, Increased
oarnlngs and Increased consumption,
tho farmer has received groatly In
creased prices for his products. Tho
agricultural department reports an
Incroaso of moro than 8350,000,000 In
tho farm valuo of tho pproals alone in
1900, compared with 1800, these figures
being thoso of tho actual valuo upon
the farm, boforo leaving tho hands of
tho producers, whllo other articles of
farm production show an equal ad
vanco In valuo. Tbo exportation of
agricultural products Incroasod from
8070,000,000 in 1890 to $1)44,000,000 in
1001, an incroaso of $374,000,000 in
tho moresurplus remaining, after sup
plying tho groat and rapidly expand
ing homo market. Tho Ropuhlloan
party has nothing to foar from tho de
cision of tho Issues which Democratic
leaders havo announced. Its policies
for forty years has been basod upon
protection and sound monoy,"
Mr. Craddock says that ho is not
afraid to meot Mr. Bailoy. All tho
samo thoro aro a lot of well moaning
peoplo who will insist on being shown.
s Kansas Clips
Miss May June, of Parsons, oght
If thero is anything in a namo to bo
un Ideal summer girl,
A thief entered a Coffeyylllo homo
and when tho owner camo homo threw
pepper in her oyes and fled.
Mrs. Wltwer. aged 33 of CoIToyvilio
Is a grandmothor. Ilor married
daughter agod 17 recently bccuino a
mother.
Parsons Elks will orcct a Club
House. Ground will bo broken soon,
and shortly later tho Elks will bo
broke.
Now thoro Is a rivalry as to who
lias grown tho biggest sunflower, an
Ottawa man claiming ono 13 inches In
damotcr.
That LaCygno man who shipped
threo llvo coons to Oregon need nover
expect to get any colored votes If ho
runs for olllce.
A jolntlst out in wostcrn Kansas has
this frank sign over his door: "If
drinking interferes with your busi
ness, quit your business."
F. R. Zacharlas of Hurpor has ro
slgned from tho Hutchinson reforma
tory board and Chas. Hull of Klrwln,
has been appointed to tho place
Georgo Tucker, tho young editor of
tho Eureka Herald, has been nomi
nated by tho Republicans for repre
sentative from Greenwood county.
Tho Wichita Eaglo thinks that tho
man who located tho hottest placo on
earth in Asia Minor nover penetrated
tho middle of a Kansas corntiold in
August.
A Brown county farmer had a crowd
of girls picnicking arrested for taking
twoivo roasting cars from his largo
Held. And tho girls' oars turned ptuk
Ith shame and anger.
Part of tho Kansas exhibit at St
Louis will bo a baby show. Tho ox
hlbit of youne: Jayhawkors will prob
ably bo located In tho aviary.
Coffoyvlllo's big flouring mill com
panies havo united, tho Rea-Pattot-son
buying tho McGrow mill for $125,000.
Tho combined capacity is 2,200 barrels
daily.
Undo Sam has a' last decided to
givo up trying to mnko tho Missouri
river navigable. 'Tworo better to de
vototho samo monoy to making It till
able. Neodesha Is knocking oaFrcdonia's
county fair, because Fredonla bent to
Neodesha's Fourthof July celebration
"a woman, a baby, tho sheriff, county
attorney und a mangy pup."
Candidato Craddock says he has no
fear of mooting Bailoy. This is doubt
less his opinion sinco ho has discover
ed that ho can certainly run away
fastor than Bailoy can pursue.
Tho Concordia Blade tolls of,a horso
standing near a threshing machine.
A switch of tho tail and the horso wus
yanked around and soveral inchos of
his tall bono cut off In tho thresher.
Prof. Snow says the roason water
melons will be scarco Is bocauso tho
weathor has not been hot enough for
them this season. Tho melon must bo
nearly as unreasonable as somo peo
plo. A gas woll 382 foot deop at Eureka
is said to spout burning gas over fifty
feet. Pcoplo always accuso reporters
of lying, but they would mob a re
porter who stuck to tho truth about
tho town's gas woll.
Emporia Gazette: Wanted, an ablo
bodied man to do tho sweating, for an
editor during tho dull month of Aug
ust. No education nor oxperlcnco re
quired. Address "Troublo" caro of
Gazette. No salary.
A Montana man, formerly of Kan
sas, has now located the Bender family
out thoro. Thero Is a growing sus
picion that tho notorious ones will
not bo do Unholy located until tho
dovll gots ready to speak.
In Its column headed "Social
Circles," tho Ottawa Herald seos fit to
print this suggcstlvo insinuation:
Tlicru wus n jnung girl from Slam
Who said ti hor lover named l'rl.un:
To kiss mo of uoursn, you'll huvo to uso force,
Aiultlio Lonl knows you're stronger tlinn 1 inn
"Tho light of my life has gono out,"
was tho opitaph a Topcka man put on
his wife's tombstone. Six months
later ho married again. Tho other
day ho visited thogravoyard, and was
surprised to And, surntchod bonouth
tho opitaph: "Yes, but you found
another match."
Missouri jokes Kansas, honco the
unanimity with which tbo Kansas
papers aro printing this: A notico
posted on a lonco noar Iloldon, Mo.,
roads liko this: "LoSed, 1 whlto call
mil him hind legs blak. Ho Is ono sho
caff. IIo is ralno. John."
A Winfleld man had a gas franchise
with a clauso that ho must begin drill
incr onorations by Aueust 0. IIo
couldn't got tho kind of a rig common
ly useu in tno gas uoiu so on August &
ho took an ordinary surface woll drill
and put down a six foot holo and
claims that his franchiso is good.
Hero is a "noem" laboled "swined"
by an exchange, and duly stolon and
crcditod horo:
Ho mot hor In tho meadow
As tho sun was sinking ow;
Thoy walked along together
Id the twilight's afterglow.
Sho waited, whllo galluntly
Ho lowered all tho h.irs,
Her soft eyes bent upon him,
As radiant as tho stun. i
Hut sho neither Mnllod nor thanked him,
liec luso sho knew not liow; .
For ho was Just u farmer lad
And sho a Jersey cow,
and Comments t
J. W. Gillette, a brother of tho ab
sconding Grant, recently failed at
Woodbino for $125,000.
An Abileno man is named Toll Nutt.
What a shame his first name was not
Peter, so ho could sign.lt: P. Nutt.
Tho United Brethren havo just
closed a camp meeting at Robinson
that was attended by over a thousand
pcoplo.
Threo travollng mon havo started
to ralso a fund of SG00 among travol
lng men, to appeal Jesslo Morrison's
caso again. Thoy mustwant herlockod
up for life.
According to tho government census
bulletin just Issued Kansas has 173,
008 farms with an avorago acroago of.
240 acros. Sixty per cent of tho farm
land Is Improved.
With a strlko In tho Kansas coal
Hold Imminent tho Lawrcnco Journal
Is unfeeling enough to say that tho
corn husks aro growing long which
means a cold, hard winter.
Tho coal operators and miners, still
trying at Pittsburg to arrango a scalo
for next yoar, cannot agree and as tho
prosont contract expires August 31, a
general strike is now predicted.
Tho Wellington News says If trusts
kcop gobbling things and raising
prices tho avorago young man will
soon bo unablo to marry. Tho moral
of this is obvious: Marry at onco.
, Tho Populist organization of Dick
inson county at a recent meeting ad
journod slno dlo. You know what
"dlo" means. Tho nut of tho ex
pression is .contained In tho word
"die."
1 Georgo Tucker, of tho Euroka Her
ald, who lias just successtuny landed
tho nomination for representative,
feelingly starts his editorial pago off
thus: It's all right to bcliovo that
which you hear of others, if It is a
good report.
Here's ono of tho first. It is from tho
Douglas Tribune A farm lad climbed
a cornstalk to wuvo his hat at a pass
ing train. Ho foil from his position
and but for bis agility in landing on
an oar somo six feet from tho ground
would havo been killed.
Tho ladles of Winfleld supplied tho
city with garbugo cans, solely for tho
reception of waste paper and cloan,
non-odorous rubbish. But overy can
emptying day tho populaco longs to
leavo town. Seldom has anything
raised such a stink in the gentlo city.
A young man of Ft. Scott, who was
arrested for attempting suicide, argued
in court that ho has overy richt to kill
hlmsolf it he sees lit. Still, a man
with those sentiments ought not to
monkoy with Futo. Fate doubt
less intended that ho should bo hung.
Tom P. Morgan, an humorist form
erly of Garnott but now of Rogers,
Ark., is spending his summer vaca
tion at Garnott. Morgan soils many
jokes to Judgo and Puck, but it is
hardly discernible whoro ho finds tho
joko of spending any tlmo In Garnott.
A "doaf and dumb" beggar worked
Pittsburg tho othor day until ho
reached a certain houso. Whllo wait
ing at tho door tho family bull dogap
pioached him, growling. Tho man
without on rs turned quickly, Hod to
tho fenco, and as tho dog took a blto
out of his trousors, gavo a very un
dumbliko jell.
A boy has boon arrested in Topeka
for beating a slot machine. Ho has
a system that is so successful that ho
was barred by all machino owners in
Kansas City. Tho Topeka ntachino
paid cigars and was built to beat peo
plo out of thoir nickles. Tho boy won
1,000 cigars und his father had to pay
his lino and for tho cigars. Who says
Justice Is blind?
Tho Cherry valo News says fivo
prominent Ropublican politicians of
that city attended a Populist conven
tion. Becoming thirsty they found
beer in a joint and whllo drinking
wero surprised by tho editor of a Pop
ulist paper. Thoy begged him to keop
quiet, but ho said: "My paper Is $1
a yoar." Ho added llvo now subscrib
ers In rapid succession.
In a rocont speech at Seneca, John
U. Atwood paid a glowing tribute to
tho chorry lips, tho alabaster brows,
tho willowy forms, tho soulful oyes of
tho girls of Nemahu county und then
arraigned W. J. Bailoy, who has lived
among them, us a "runty old bache
lor," lit only to superintend a voter
ans' homo. Can it bo that tho voinon
aro behind tills schomo to havo a mis
tress in tho mansion?
A Kansas editor with lolsuro for
wldo reading has discovered this: In
stoad of "cast off clothing," as wo
say In America, the English uso tho
exprosslon "loft off clothing." For
this roason thero is considerable
humor, from tho Amorican point of
vlow. in tho announcement in an Eng
lish paper that "Mr. and Mrs. Brown
havo left off clothing of every des
cription and Invito your caroful in
spection." Hundreds of thousands of tho fol
lowing cards aro appearing in various
Illinois towns: "Senator William E.
Mason, Illinois' favorlto son, will
soon visit your town. Kindly invito
all tho nolghbors for miles around,
and givo him a grand wolcome, as ho
Is ono of our nation's bost men, Bo
sure and bring tho big aud little folks, ,
mothers, wives, sweethoarts, brothers,
and sisters, and wo will havo a "hot
tlmo" when Blllio Mason comes to this
town."
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