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EADING the late 'Gene Field's "Ballad of the Waller
Lot," the other day, we did wish 'Gene was here long
enough to strike us for $20.
$t E3 E3 Kl
The row in the prohibition national committee seems* to
be an intemperate affair.
S I I S IS3
At La Moure, N. D., the other day a fierce turkey, not
broken to the halter nor used to the oars, broke away from
Brand & Suemper's store and leaped violently thru the drug
store window, probably in search of an anesthetic. The
apothecary looked over his victim and then at his window
and remarked, "Well, he's a bird!"
ca si i
Another little English boy wrote an essay on "The Rich
Man." This is how the wealthy gentleman appealed to the
I am a rich man I live in Victoria Park I
go visiting all morning. In the afternoon I sit
and smoke, and at night I go to a dance with
my young lady. Another day starts I visit the
poor people, then I provide a soup kitchen. And
I have plenty of friends, for where their is
money their is friends. I send my boys to Col
lege to learn to speak correct. My wife is busy
choosing which cloths to put on. I will now en
close my essay.
ISI 123 IS
I do not remember any better place for boys than "out
to old Aunt Mary's." Pie and cookies were always to be
found in the "buttry," the cookies at the bottom of an old
Stone jar, and both instantly on tap when "the boys" ap-
peared on the place. And Aunt Mary seemed to like to see
us eat them, too. One day when I was at the old place alone,
Aunt Mary told me how she baked the bread in the dead mid-
dle of the previous night.
Aunt Mary lived alone on the old farm. The family had
scattered. Some were married, some were dead, but Aunt
Mary loved the old place and would not leave it even to live
nith the ohildren. As she grew older a habit of wakeful
ness had grown on her and many of her household duties
were performed at night. One evening after "setting the
bread,'' Aunt Mary retired She slept peacefully for awhile,
and then found herself suddenly broad awake. The moon
shone into the room and it was almost as light as day. She
heard the distant jangling of the cars in town and then all
was quiet again How still the old house was She could
almost hear it breathe. There were no ghosts in it to dis-
turb the occupant, but the place was full of memories. As
her mind wandered down the years and summed them all up,
each picture on the wall stood for some period of her life,
every loved piece of furniture represented an epoch. The old
bureau with the curved legs was a wedding gift, the brass
andirons had been purchased with the first money earned by
teaching school. Unable to sleep, she arose, lighted the "tal
ler candle" and went down to the kitchen to peer into the
face of the old clock.
"Five minutes to two," and there was the bread risen
\o the top of the pan' Aunt Mary finished dressing at once
and soon had the bread "set to rise" for baking. The rooms
were warm and she sat by the stove feeling very comfortable
except that her head felt the need of sleep. After the bread
was finally located in the oven, which was made ready by
opening the register of the stove "the merest crack," she lay
down a moment on the lounge in the "sitting room," think
ing to "jump up" soon and watch the bread. She was "not
a bit sleepy." A scripture verse came to her mind without
solicitation. "Ho! every one that thirsteth, come ye to the
waters and drink." And again, "Awake thou that sleep
est, arise, let thy light shine.''
Aunt Mary sat up suddenly. To her surprise she saw
by the clock that she had slept three-quarters of an hour.
She expected that the oread was scorched, "but it was "just
fright," "a beautiful brown," and crisp on top and, tested
by a broom stiaw, done 'way thru.
At 4 a. m. Aunt Mary was taking breakfast, a hot roll,
coffee and doughnuts -which she felt she needed after the
exercise of the night.
And so another morning looked in thru the windows at
the solitary occupant and saw no change in the dear face
nor in the dear old house. A. J. R.
20 W f^r^s^wp'^T'^'l Wednesday Evenii^,
-"Eyt nature's waft* inoor IMfr a tt IB**'
This summer-winter interregnum has one decided advan
tage. You have neither to mow the lawn nor to shovel the
snow. If the city fathers would only get after their streets
with a feather duster, the weather would be great.
I S S I ISI
The Argentine farmers are turning out a big stunt of
wheat and the price is beginning to get a bit wobbly in the
legs again Why, we can remember when they used to have
60o wheat at this time of year.
What Women Want to Know.
WEDDING PRESENTS.-It is really
necessary to acknowledge -wedding presents? My heart
sinks when I think of the notes I will have to write if a ver-
bal expression of thanks when Ijneet people will not do.
Every girl should consider it her duty to acknowledge
her -wedding presents at onoe and her pleasure to make these
notes as personal and appreciative as possible. Mention the
name of the gift, so that your friends will see that you really
know what she sent you and will not feel that it meant no
more to you than "one of many." If you haven't had time
to acknowledge all your presents beforehand keep a list of
them and have your mother write these friends that her
daughter will take pleasure in thanking them as soon as she
returns from her wedding trip.
QUESTION FOR TOMORROW.
TO CLEAN FURS Do you know of any simple way of
cleaning furs? The dust has settled in my collar so that
I cannot wear it with oomfort and yet I cannot spare it
long enough to send it to a cleaner.Mrs. E. W.
What the Market Affords.
in all its forms is a desirable cold weather food.
Corn griddle gems, etc., are considered indispensable
for breakfast in many families, while in others the favorite
^form of using corn is mush either eaten warm or with
ream or fried in slices Mush is a good deal of trouble to
make where but a small amount is used, and for frying one
can buy it sometimes at the home bakeries. However, if a
family is willing to eat it two or three mornings out of
seven, even a small family consumes considerable, and as it
keeps well in cold weather it need not be made often.
& Mush is not muoh work to make, but to cook it properly,
-takes from one to two hours. After the meal has been
etkred into the boiling salted water and cooked about five
minutes, stirring constantly, set the kettle on bricks on the
back of the range or put into the oven to cook slowly for
from one to two hours. When it is cooked mold either in
shallow dishes or pans or tall cans. The rolls made in
the cans give round slices for frying that look rather nicer
than the ordinary long slices. The cans should be greased
ox dipped into water before filling, so the rolls may come out
J?* The coarser grinding ov tracking of corn produces
hominy, samp or grits. The coarsest hominy and hulled corn
are used chiefly as vegetables, the finer for mushes. Hulled
corn is the only one of the corn preparations that must be
used fresh, as it is prepared only in a moist state. It is
simply corn kernels with the skin taken off, and then
thoroly cooked. Few of the shops get it fresh every day,
but receive it two or three times a week. ,It sells for 10
cents a quart, all it needs is heating with a little cream and
seasoning or browning in butter.
His Wife Thought He Needed the Lesson.
'YE been all morning working on those dinner invita
tions,' said Mrs. Spadbrook, "and I'm not at all sat-
isfied with them now."
"Trying to decide whom to ask, I sup-
pose," said Spadbrook.
"Why, of course."
"Well, that beats me. You go at a
thing of that kind as if it were a matter
involving the very finest diplomacy. You
sit up nights -worrying about it and it
takes you a week after you give a party
to get the thought wrinkles out of your
forehead. It's all nonsense. You know
who your friends are. Well, why don't
you ask 'em and have done with it?
The way I'd do, I'd just take my visit
ing list and invite 'em in consecutive
dozens. Then when they came I'd turn
'em loose on each other, set up a feed
and let it go at that. I'd"
"Yes," said Mrs. Spadbrook, "you
would manage very nicely, I dare say."
"Oh, I'm no society queen, I know,
but I don't see whyxjommon sense shouldn't apply to a so-
cial function. I'll tell you you let me pick the bunch the
next time. I'll show you how to do it."
"Very well," said Mrs. Spadbrook.
I think we'll have to give a little party in honor of
Isabel," said Mrs. Spadbrook about a week later. "We'd
better ask twelve to dinner, which, with ourselves, will be
about as many as will be comfortable, and then, say twenty
or so for the evening. We can have in Borrodini's orchestra,
and have a little dancing."
"Just leave it all to me," said Spadbrook. "I'llfixup
the social success of the year. You told me I could run the
"I'm afraid you'll-"
"Afraid nothing. When do you want it? A week from
today? All right. Twelve to dinner, you say, and twenty
more foi the light fantastic toe. Sherbet, I suppose, or some
refrigerating mixture of that sort? Consider it done."
He grabbed a sheaf of stationery from his wife's escri
toire and with her little morocco-bound social ledger retreat
ed to his den, from -which he emerged half an hour later with
a bundle of stamped and sealed notes and a triumphant ex-
"Twenty-eight minutes," he said. "Now, I allow thirty
two more for telephoning to the maestro of the mandolin mob
and the caterermaking allowance for connectionand you
have an hour for the transaction of apiece of business that
would have kept you in a flutter for days."
Spadbrook opened the acceptances himself. He said he
did that to spare Mrs. Spadbrook any needless anxiety. She
SPADBEOOK ESSAYED THE PIANO PLAYEE.
looked anxious nevertheless on the evening of the function.
As she was making her toilet Spadbrook called from his
dressing room to inform her that he had forgotten to tele-
phone to Borrodini until that day and that when he did call
that talented musician had a prior engagement.
"Never mind," continued Spadbrook cheerfully, in re-
sponse to his wife's eloquent silence "I'm equal to operat
ing the piano player. The point I make is that people will
The guests arrived. If Mrs. Spadbrook was surprised
or apprehensive she concealed it admirably. Her husband
was overflowing with cordial welcome and she did her part.
The dinner was a good dinner, but in spite of the stren
uous efforts of host and hostess the guests were solemn and
constrained heyond expression. At frequent intervals there
were appalling silences.
There were several young people among the after-dinner
guests, but their youthful gayety seemed to be smothered be-
fore they were in the house five minutes. Spadbrook essayed
the piano player, but no one seemed to feel like dancing.
Here and there two persons would converse in a funereal un-
dertone and one or two groups seemed to be enjoying the
evening fairly well, but the general effect was depressing.
Spadbrook found an opportunity to speak to his wife.
"For heaven's sake, hunt up some stereoscopic views and tell
me where I'll find the family album," he
said in an agonized whisper. "I've tried
everything else. Can't you start some
"Let them entertain themselves," she
After it was all over and the Spad
brooks were alone, Mrs. Spadbrook took
"Hold up your head, my dear," she
said. "You'll live this down. No, it did
not heatwhat you say it heat? It was
not at all surprising. As you say, they
were all good'people, individually many f\ I S
of them most entertaining but as a \i(
crowd they were ghastly. You didn't
take time to consider their relation one
to the other, that's all. You didn't stop""*01
to think that the Waldrons and the Tim- LESSON
meys weren't on speaking terms since Ellis Waldron's en-
gagement was announced, did you? Or that Mrs. Dacy sup-
ported Mrs. Stevenson for the club presidency, and that she
and the Spooners have been at daggers drawn ever since.
Then you couldn't expect Mr. Baker to sing when Witterby
was there to criticize him, or Miss Wethenl"
"Oh, stop," groaned Spadbrook. "Why didn't you ex-
plain all this to me?"
"You know it wouldn't have done any good," said Mrs.
^ftadbrookj "You^ needed the lesson. "Chicago News.
HARD TO BE IDENTIFIED.
STRANGER came into an Augusta bank the other day
and presented a check for which he wanted the equiva
lent in cash.
"Have to be identified," said the clerk.
The stranger took a bunch of letters from bis pocket all
addressed to the same name as that on the check.
The clerk shook his head.
The man thought a minute and pulled out his watch,
which bore the name on its inside cover.
Clerk hardly glanced at it.
The man dug into his pockets and found one of those
"If-I-should-die-to-night-please-notify-my-wife" cards, and
calico! the clerk's attention to the description, which fitted
&ut the clerk was still obdurate.
"Those things don't prove anything," he said. "We've
got to have the word of a man that we know.
"But, man, I've given you an identification that would
convict me of murder in any court in the land."
"That's probably very true," responded the clerk pa-
tiently, "but in matters connected with the bank we have
to be more careful.' 'Pittsburg Index.
DIFFERENT KIND OF BUGS.
ONES had shyly, but admiringly, watched the two young
women as they rustled into the car and took the
seat in front of him. They were so sweet, so charmingly
sweet and dainty, that he unconsciously sighed, and then con-
sciously sighed again, because they had not the pleasure of
his acquaintance. But suddenly a shook thrilled thru him, a
torturing, agonizing shock, as when one's dentist drills into
I haven't a single bug this year," the girl next the
window was saying proudly "I've looked and looked, and I
can't find a single one
"Oh, I have millions I" said the other girl despondently.
"I don't believe I ever had half as many before in all my
Jones grew red clear to the tips of his ears.
"Haven't you done anything for them?" asked the one
next the window.
"Yes, I've washed and powdered, and powdered and
washed, and done everything, but they just seem to thrive on
it," replied the other despairingly. I don't believe I'll
ever get rid of the horrid things."
Jones grew redder, and fidgeted frantically as a terrific
itch developed suddenly the small of his hack.
"Have you used tobacco?" asked the one next the win
"Pounds and bushels of it," replied the other hope
"And I thought it was that old reprobate over there who
made-this car so rank," murmured Jones, with an apologetic
look at the old laborer across the aisle.
"Well, you'll have to do something for them," declared
the one next the window, signaling for the oar to stop, "or
you'll be eaten up alive by them."
"I know it," replied the other, as they rose, "and I've
a notion to burn up every rose-bush in the yard, and start all
"Whew!" muttered Jones, mopping the sweat from his
seem to be a bigger fool every day."
NO HURRY FOR THE CORPSE.
NE&RO liack driver in Washington was driving along
the street When he encountered a funeral. A long line
q coaches"Vas behind the hearse, which was moving along
at a^hWy rafoe. The negro was superstitious and did not
want to cross ^between the eawiages in the funeral pro-
cession. He tried to drive around in front of th ehearse, but
couftl not make sufficient speed. After driving alongside the
hearse for two blocks the negro called out to the driven
"Say, boss, hold up an' let me go past. My passenger
is in a hurry and yours isn't."
Curios and Oddities.
DISADVANTAGES OF BLONDE HAIR.
young woman was of a perfect blonde type. Her hair
was straw-colored. With an air of vexation she said:
"Tho I am an expert stenographer, I find it difficult, on
account of my straw-colored hair, to get work. Men think that
my hair is bleached, and they hesitate to employ a bleached
blonde, for they know well that she \rho
hair to so conspicuous a hue as mine v^uld have a soul too
frivolous for sober typewriting and shortVnd.
When I was out of work last year had to apply to
six offices before I could get a place. Three of the men to
whom I applied didn't test my ability in any way. They
said lamely that they were sorry, but they preferred an older,
a more sedate person. Two men, after a brief talk, admitted
that my work suited them, but had to admit also that their
Wives had peculiar views, and would object to my presence in
their husbands' offices.
"The man who engaged me was a bachelor. He, too,
was about to repulse me, but I broke out desperately witht
'Look here, I am not a bleached blonde. My hair is
straw-colored naturally. If you object to it, I'll wear a
brown wig during office hours.'
The man laughed and took me on. He has told me
since, tho, that he would not have taken me but for my
"Hair like mine is perhaps beautiful, but it is a serious
drawback to an honest working girl."
TORN ljinen collar, a piece of lath, a cuff, and a half
dozen other odd objects hung above the bank clerk's
*tl owing strmnget'
"My collection of queer checks," the young man said.
"Each of those things is a check. Each was duly honored.
Each has a story.
I have been collecting queer checks for thre'e years.
That piece of lath started me. A western bank honored the
lata for $250 It was made into a check by the owner of a
sawmill who was out at the plant with his son, thirty miles
from any house, and totally without paper, let alone a check
book. The money was needed to pay off the hands. The saw
miller wrote on the lath just what a check correctly drawn
has on it, and he sent his son into the bank to get the money
and to explain. The lath check was honored after some dis-
cussion among the bank's officers.
"The cuff check was drawn by an actor who had be-
come slightly intoxicated, gotten into a fight, and been ar-
rested. He was treated cavalierly in his cell they Wouldn't
give him any paper, and he bribed a boy to take the check
to the bank. The boy got the money, and with it the actor
paid his fine. Otherwise he'd have been jailed for ten days.
Thus the cuff check may be said to have saved a man from
"The check written on that linen collar won abet of $5.
A man bet a woman that a check made on a collar would be
cashed, and, of course, he won his bet.
"YbuT bank, if you carry a good account, will honor the
most freaky checks you can draw up. In such monkey busi
ness, tho, it won't encourage you,"
would bleach her
Best Leather, Best Workmanship
and Best Shape.
A horse dealer sold a fine pair of horses for $1,496, losing 10 per cent
on one and mating 12 on the other, so that he, said he, came out 311st 2
per cent ahead on the whole deal." How much did he get for the cheaper
To the ten persons sending in the correct answer submitted in the neatest
and most attractive way before 6 p.m., Dec, 3, will be given a copy of Mr. Loyd 's
marvelous book of Chinese Tangrams, containing 700 puzzles and much per-
taining to the mysteries of mathematics, oriental art and philosophy, whioh will
interest every member of the family.Puzzle Editor, The Journal.
ANSWERS OF PUZZLEISTS.
The price of the cheaper horse is puzzling the mathematicians of the north-
west and solutions are literally pouring m. It is curious to notice the wide dif-
ference in opinion the puzzleists entertain as to the price of the horse. Among
the many replies submitted the price of the horse is put at $666.53, $740.52
$418.88, $666.66, $586.66 2-3, $733.04, $599.69, $587, $645.07, $660, $569 43, $660 18,
$673.20, $583.44, $732.32, $659.73, $734.40, $651,85, $1,346.40, $624 51, $653 47,
$666.63, $738, $617.12, $680, $190, $665.88.
The Journal's Daily Puzzle has evidently "caught on," judging from tho
hearty response it has received from Journal readers. The answer to the above
puzzle will be announced in next Monday's issue.
Blucher lace, mil
itary heel, swing
last. Can't be beat
en, fox durability.
GEO. M. KBTH
The Walk Over Shoe Store
65 Fourth St. So.
EUREK A LOTION
(I FOUND IT)
Cores Eczema Pimplea and removoa aU
blemishes of tho sKln For sale by "Wm
Donaldson & Oo Dayton's Miss Wanous,
druggist, Cirkler, Gamble & Ludwig,
Weinhold Mannhcimer Bros St Paul
Also Miss Nichols', Syndicate Arcade, and
Miss Liscomb West Hotel Hair Store
Prepared only *y Eureka, Compound Co..N,Y,
Mrs. Baker faill Give an Interpretative
Recital of the Drama.
To avoid conflict with the Teachers'
course, Mrs. Baker's recital, set forwill
Friday evening, will be given tonight
at the First Unitarian church. The
subject also has been changed, because
of a strong desire to hear Mrs. Baker in
"Parsifal"a recital which has be
come very popular witb. tb.e cultured
people in the leading eastern cities, and
which brought so great a sale of tick
ets Chicago last week that a larger
audienceroom was secured before the
Mrs Baker does not give a lecture,
tho she does define and compare now
and then thruout the evening. Wagner
considered the drama of equal impor
tance with the music, and Mrs. Baker
recites the drama. Thru the reader's
great genius the characters, scenes and
actions, the passions and emotions are
The Legend of the Holy
rail, especially as treated by Richard
Wagner, is illuminated and becomes a
living force to the hearer.
A Cure for Insomnia.
If you are troubled with sleepless
nightsbuy a North Star Blanket.
They are sleep-producers Thirty to 40
per cent saved on the slightly damaged
ones. North Star Woolen Mills Co, 3d
av S and 2d at, Minneapolisone bloctt
from Milwaukee station.
J3* ^it i
Ha, ba ha' You don
know what you re talk.
ing about Why don
you do as I tell yoa
and Bend to
Chicago Ave. Laundry,
2901-3 OHICAGV AVE.
TELEPHONE AND WE OALLt
I am showing a select lute of I
small furs in Boas. Scarfs,'
Muffs, etc It will pay you
to see them and get my
A. BEIRER, Furrier,
701 Hen are., corner 7th
THE GRAND CANYON
Lecturer Will Describe It for Benefit
of Hope Chapel Free Course.
"The Grand Canyon of the Arizona"
be described by word and by stere
opticon view Friday night at Plym
outh church by Nat M. Brigham. The
Eroceeds of the lecture will go to the
enefit of the Hope chapel free lecture
Mr Brigham stands -with Holmes and
some of hia illustrious predecessors in
pictorial lectures of travel. He is de
cidedly interesting and shows re
markable views of this wonderful spot
which nature has made so attractive
and awe inspiring. The ticket sale has
progressed -well, with, prospect of a full
CHICAGO GREATWESTERN RY.
Ex 8unday Others Dally. LT Mpls
10 45 pm
Ohie&goand Bast, Dubuque
Chicago, Kansas City.Omaha
Chicago. DOT Moines, Kansas City
Kansas City, 8a Joseph DesllouiM
Omaha. Ft. Dodge. Austin
Bocaester, Bed wing,
7 90 pm
10 6ft am
Maak&to, Parlbttalt, Northfleld
PoOge Center, Bayfield
6 6ft pm
4 36 pin
WISCONSIN CENTSu RY.
"""I MILWAUKEE and CHICAGO
Leave Sam and 705 daily.
Arrive 8,00 am. and 8.10 pm. dally.
A man -naturally wants a
lot of style as well as com
fort in his cap. He gets
both in' the Gordon.