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1 6 tises "VT THfisedemocratic 'leggy. b' way around! 1 AN TO^ the Long Bow. Wall street ought to Coaled weapons. Last week Tintah, Minn., went against a theatrical troupe so bad that the Tintah Call makes its call for an ama- teur dramatic club. The Call is certain that there is local talent in Tintah that can put the traveling profesh to the blush. On wimmon wine fast horses cards and dice But this is the end and the grave grows near But never once have I shed a tear. Tuesday Evening, "ByeBaton's walks, shoot fotty ma HiOM," i party is one of the few patients that prom to survive the post-mortem examination. General Stoessel's Christmas goose is likely to be a bit Dirt is flying on the Panama canal site. That's nothing. "It's flying out on Hennepin avenue, too. have Lawson searched for con- Finance is so frenzied of late that we would not be much surprised to see the new stock jobbing firm of Rockefeller & Xawson doing business on the street. Keep your money. If you want to get some real human opinion go out to the other end of Hennepin where the people for a month past have been living in a modified form of sand blast. The author- ities in their great wisdom macadamized the avenue with lime Stone, which pulverized to a fine diamond cutting powder. The wind sifted this invisible powder into every crack and crevice, eating out the oriental rugs and destroying the curtains and hangings. The only parties who appear pleased are the hens fcho need the grit in their crops. The city authorities have at last taken steps to remedy the trouble. They have ad- {pised the Hennepinites to pray for snow. Mr. Jager, the tonsorial artist of Eddyville, Iowa, adver- "Whiskers blocked out in any patternlip ticklers, antails. billy-goats or preacherinos. "Hair cuts of all kinds, from woolly willies to ring-around-roseys." Mr. Jager caters to all tastes. Two weeks of arduous business life as owner and man- ager of the Rose Book Bindery has shattered the health of Mrs. Hobart Chatfield-Chatfield Taylor, and she has retired to Philadelphia for the rest oure. This is the working sched- ule that has broken down Mrs. Chatfleld-Taylor's health: 11:30 a. m.Arrived at shop. 11:30 to 12 Opened mail. 12 to 12:30Issued orders to as- sistants, granted interviews on the mission of women in business and posed for newspaper photographers. 12:30 to 2Luncheon. 2 to 3 Work and more interviews. 3 p. m.Home. i Bookbinding is very strenuous work, but we trust I that Mrs. C.-C. T. will be restored to us and that the craft will not lose her valuable services. A poor young fellow in St. Paul killed himself Sunday, after writing some doggerel verses to explain it. He said: Here lies the man stiff and cold Who tried to beat the whole world out of gold Gold was his god, father and his friend, And what he 'd do for gold there was no end. I've spent a fortune once or twice This course of ruining one's happiness has been so com- mon for the last 5,000 years that one would think the boys would take a tumble to themselves after awhile and find that there is no pleasure in it. But no. There are hundreds, probably thousands, of young fellows right in this town to- day, and we all know them, who would prefer hell to being decent, and happy. How is this monstrous illusion to be cor- rected1? The man who cherishes a set of ideas like this will continue to get into worse and worse trouble until he realizes that he is an ass. Then he will begin to climb up out of his Avernus, the descent of which was so easy. But what a long The Wabasha Herald has been having a demmed, moist, unpleasant time due to the visit to its midst of the Fire Fiend. The Herald was heralding the tidings, glad and otherwise, of the joyous juletide season, when the F. F. took up its abode and did a smoulder in .the paper's stockroom. The fiend made its presence known by a smoke so dense that nobody could get into the thought mouldery. Numbers of willing workers were soon at hand, and the mill hose was promptly ready to throw water. The same willing hands cut a large jagged hol- low hole in the roof where the mill hose dropped in on the blaze about thirty tons of very damp water. Kuehn's de- partment store had a foot of water all over its floor, and its enormous stock of clothing was drenched. The Herald lost all its stock, lots of its furniture, and type its paper cutter and one press were badly damaged and everything injured more or less, but the paper comes out smiling and announces uoointly: "I you owe it anything now would be a good time to bring it around.'' Which doctrine fits excellently well almost any situation in life. A fire cannot stop a newspaper, but it can cause it everal waste baskets full of trouble. -A. R. What Women Want to Know. N ET CURTAINS.I have heard that net curtains can be It is done?Mrs. 0. Thoroly shake all the dust out of the curtain and then place one at a time loosely in a large, strong, paper bag, and sprinkle in a pint of cornmeal. The bag must be securely I tied and shaken hard for about ten minutes. After this the J* curtain should be shaken in the open air and allowed to hang there awhile. Fresh meal should be used for each curtain. jjj, Gasolene is also good to wash curtains in. Use plenty of 4* gasolene and be careful" not to work in a closed, warm room. QUESTION TOR TOMORROW. REMOVING BLACKHEADS.This dusty weather has made my face a perfect sight. How can I get rid of the un- 7 sightly blackheads on my chin and nose tGrace. A WISE IDOL. English writer, commenting on the rumor that General Kuropatkin allowed horses and mules to graze among the graves of honored Chinese dead, declares that Chinese are not likely to be much shocked at such a circumstance. ^Ie says that the religions of the orient, of course, excepting j^ohammedanism, are mere rituals without meaningthe dead husks of forgotten faiths. He tells of a Chinaman whom he found burning counterfeit bank bills as a sacrifice to his joss. It was pointed out to him that the sacrifice was useless, as the notes were worthless. To this the Chinaman Replied, with a knowing leer: ^-^oss no savvy." ii \K7 EBB WHEN I WOKE OTlN 1*T Strange Power of Wooden,Legs. KNOWLES, one of the few remaining "old W time" Montana stage drivers, is spending several days in Minneapolis, the guest of Thomas Dillon, 1017 May place. During Mr. Dillon's sojourn in Montana several years ago he got on intimate terms with the old stage driver, and the present visit was to renew this friendship. Knowles is crippled, having lost a leg by the overturning of a stage coach near Big Timber, Mont, in 1889. He wears a "peg leg and out of this appliance contrives to extract amusement for himself and his friends. "There ain't many people who know what an important part a peg leg can play in a man's af fairs," said Knowles this morn ing. I wear out a leg about every three years, and whenever I meet another man with a peg I al ways hit him for a swap. I've been tradin' wooden legs for fif teen years now and I've had some funny experiences. I was always a sober, industrious sort of a W THE MOENIN' I AL- keeper at Cheyenne. First thing WAYS WONDERED I knew I was gettin' giddy. I AT MYSELF AND WAS wa WEABIN' THE PBEACHER'S WOODEN LEG PRETTY NEAR SPOILED ME FOR A STAGE DRIVER. spent one of the dollars for red eye and beginning' with the other had broken the bank at the Big Timber faro layout. "Wearin' the preacher's wooden leg had a wonderful effect on me. It pretty near spoiled me for a stage driver. I got so when I ought to be cussin' uf the mules, I wa| call- in' 'em 'good boy' and all that sort of foolishness.. Any body that knows mules knows that by not talkin' unadulter ated Montana to 'em I was always behind time gettin' into the stations. I got to hunt- in' up meetin's on Sundays, and I guess if I had a kept on I'd been a high church man by this time. I swapped the par son's wooden leg with an English lord, a re mittance manone of those fellows that his family pays so much a year to stay in Mon tana, and not get near er to London than Butte. Next thing I was wearin' one of those single-barrel spectacles and callin, the stable boys 'old choppy.' I had to cut that out quick. I traded next with a sheep herder, and before I knew what I was doin' I was a stoppin' the old coach and takin' pot shots at every cow man I met on the trail. I come pretty near get- tin' into trouble several times and had to get rid of that leg. I went up to (Helena in the boom times and traded wooden legs with a lawyer up there, and I am a-wearin' that leg now. It keeps me sort of respectable in my conduct, and as for talkin'well, I don't have any trouble about that. Maybe what I've been tellin' you is true, but just between us, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if it wasn't more the wood en leg influencin' the language than me a personally vouchin' for the truth of it. .THERE WAS A ONE-LEGGED CIR- CUIT RIDIN' PREACHER. What the Market Affords. N O FORMAL dinner is complete without shellfish, either oysters or clams for the first course. From the begin ning of cold weather oysters in the shells may be obtained in good condition in Minneapolis and just now many people are enjoying them. The essentials for raw oysters are freshness, coldness and piquant seasonings. To serve, the shells are scrubbed clean and the flat shell removed. From four to six oysters are served on a plate that or may not have a bed of cracked ice under the fish. On the plate is placed a mound of grated horseradish and a section of lemon, as these Sav- ings are considered indispensable. Most people prefer paprika or even cayenne to ordinary pepper on oysters. Small oysters of uniform size are better for oyster cock tails than large ones, which are awkward to handle with an oyster fork. The Blue Points are the principal small fine- flavored oysters brought to this market and in the shells sell for 20 cents a dozeny About the best and most satisfactory fish in the winter market are halibut and salmon, as they are not frozen. Both are fine flavored and make a handsome-looking dish, either fried in steaks, boiled or baked. The left-overs of these fish dishes can be served again nicely in either a salad or a scallop. Of the native fish the Lake Superior trout and white fish are the best and sell for a shilling. Salmon an* halibut brinjr 15 cents. THE MINNEAPOLIS^ JOURNAL.. hfel- W UgS UDti 0 stayin' up at night, would bet ASHAMED. Tjurith. anybody on anything and I began to get a fondness for cocktails. I'll admit that at times I got a little too much cargo aboard, and when I woke up in the mornin' I always wondered at myself and was ashamed. The minute I got up and buckled on that peg 'leg, I forgot all my good resolutions and went out to hang a few red lanterns around the town. I finally realized that it was the occult influence of that bartender's leg that was drivin' me to ruin. There was a one-legged circuit-ridin' preacher on the trails those days, and the first time I met him^I took bis breath away by offerin' him $2 boot to swap legs. We traded. The next thing I heard was that that preacher had found." GEORGE is here!" S&riesqf Well-Known Men "Lives of great men oft remind us We may make our Uvea sublime And departing leave behind ua Footprints on the sands of timet" TRAINING THE FACULTIES. N NIKOLA TESLA. mendable patience. circles. IKOLA TESLA was talk ing about his student days at Prague. I remember well, at Prague," he said, "an old pro fessor of great originality and acumen. This professor insisted on the value of a free use of the perceptive faculties, and he was always pointing out the need for this use in strange ways. "One day, on arising to lec ture, he began: 'Gentlemen, you do not use your faculties of observa tion as you should.' "He laid on the table before him a pot filled with some vile-smelling chemical compounda thick, brown stuff. 'When I was a student,' he went on, 'I did not fear to use my sense of taste.' "H dipped his finger deep into the pot, and then stuck the finger in his mouth. 'Taste it, gentlemen, taste it,' he said, smiling grimly. "The evil pot passed round the class, and one after an- other we dipped our fingers in it and then sucked them clean. The taste of the thick brown compound was horrible. We made wry faces and spluttered. The professor watched us with a grim smile. "When the pot was finally returned to him, his thin lips parted, and he gave a dry chuckle. I must repeat, gentlemen,' he said, 'that you do not use your faculties of observation. If you had looked more closely at me, you would have observed that the finger I put in my mouth was not the one I dipped into the pot.' THE CHILD NATURALIST. ENATOR FRYE is a hun- ter, an angler and a nat uralist. All his life he has been fond of the woods and of wild creatures. He was born in Maine in the town of Lewiston, and a Lewiston man said of him recently: "M father in his childhood played with the child Frye, and I havfc often heard him tell how his little friend would go out into the fields and fearlessly pick up beetles and spiders and all manner of fearsome bugs. "One day he took up a wasp. He was very small, you up in, his hand, and, of course, it stung him. SENATOR FRYE. see, and ignorant of wasps' nature. So he took this wasp "Instantly he dropped it, and set off homeward in an agony of pain and wrath. My father ran along with him, making sympathetic murmurs. Young Frye said, as he wrung the hand that had been wounded: 'First it walked about all over my hand, and it was so nice! But ohwhen it sat downl' A String of Good Stories. "I know not bow the truth may bet i Iteiithe tale as *twaa toldiome.*' VENGEANCE OP THE DISCHARGED. 6T~ ID I ever tell you about the time my uncle, the actor, \Jf played with Booth?" said the sailor. ONo," returned the druggist. "Well, uncle was a super with Booth, and for a little alcoholic irregularity he got fired. 'You can go,' Booth says, 'at the end of the week.' "That made uncle mad, and he decided to have some revenge. So on his last night, after he had his salary all right, he went on the stage with an egg in his hand. *'Booth was playin' 'Julius Cesar,' -and it was the garden scene*, where Brutusthat was Boothwalked about and 'shook hands with the various conspirators. 4'Uncle was one of the conspirators, and he held the egg in his right fist. He watched his chance, and when Booth, in a lordly way, went to shake hands with him, he dropped the egg in Booth's open palm. Uncle says he never seen such a surprised look on any- one's face as he seen on Booth's then. His hand closed im- mediately, and he glanced down at this smooth, round thing that had been given him. When he found it was an egg, he looked more surprised than ever. "He couldn't put no fire into the scene after that. He didn't do any more handshakin' for fear he might smash the egg. He kept shiftin' it from one hand to the other, and you could hear him cursin' under his breath. "At the end of the scene he rushed into the wings yellin': 'Where's that infernal O'Musgrave?' "But Uncle O'Musgrave, you bet, was nowhere to be THE WRONG AUDIENCE. GROSSMITH, the English entertainer, was due at a hall in London at 9 o'clock one evening to deliver one of his inimitable "talks before a large audience. His train had been delayed, and the start from his hotel was half an hour late. The entertainer watched from the cab window, anxiously scanning the passing buildings for a sight of the one in which his audience doubtless was impatiently awaiting him. At last a brilliantly lighted edifice came int6 view, from whose open doors a stream of people was pouring. Terrible thought: the audience had grown tired of waiting and was leaving! Grossmith sprang from* the cab and rushed into the thick of the crowd, raising his arms imploringly, and shouting: "G6 back! Go back I I am here. I was delayed. Grossmith 'The building, however, proved to be a church from which the congregation was issuing after early service and shortly, after an embarrassed retreat, Grossmith found his audience in a hall a square beyond, awaiting his arrival with com- SEA FOWLS' EGGS. ifPHE EGtGS of sea fowls," said a naturalist, "afford us thing to its environment. 1 a striking instance of the fine way nature fits every- "Sea fowls' eggs are conical in shape. Thus, being broad at the base and narrow at the point, they only roll in 'W3*p "I they rolled otherwise, they would nearly all fall into the water or smash on the rocks, and the sea fowl race would soon become extinct. For these birds lay their eggs on crags on^. ledges, open to the winds, and eggs given to rolling would 'fljlickly be blown to destruction." K!A"^ -Fi-r 0 rv fe & 9 A GAMOSSI Glove Order Glove Certificate Glove Bond PUZZLE OF FRITZ, THE CALCULATING- BARBER. Fritz, the calculating barber, claims to have given a first-class shave and hair cut, including bay rum and conversation, in the record time of fifteen min- utes. The International Association, however, refuses to accept the same as an official record because the kodak view, as shown, does not give the position of the hands on the clock. Both Fritz and his patron maintain that they noticed that at the end of the feat, the minute hand was just "as far ahead of the hour hand as it was behind it when he commenced. Cannot some of our clever school children come to the rescue and show just where the hour and minute hands must have been when the job was completed! Mail your solution and answer to Puzzle Editor, The Journal, so that it will be received before 6 p.m., Dec. 16. The ten persons sending in the correct solu- tion in the neatest and most attractive way will each be mailed a copy of Sam Loyd's famous "Chinese Tangrams," containing many puzzles and much per* taining to the mysteries of mathematics, oriental art and philosophy. WHAT TODAY'S MAIL BROUGHT The clock puzzle is developing a great deal of originality. Many solutions received today included good drawings of watches and clocks to prove the an- swers of the senders. E. P. Hohler says the hands of the clock indicated 5:35 when the barber com- pleted his last flourishes, while Milton Goldstein says the time was from 11:52*4 to 12:07% because the minute hand is as much behind 12 at 11:52% as it is ahead at 12:07%, and this opinion is shared by H. O. Hampson. Forest Hays give* the same answer with a diagram of two clocks making the point clear. Walter S. Chase says: "We must start of 15 minutes before any given hour* such, for instance, as 7% minutes to 12 o'clock, noon at this time the minute nana is 7% minutes before 12, and the hour hand Is 1-12 of 7% minutes before 12 o'clock, or of a minute before 12 o'clock. At this point the minute hand is of course 6% minutes behind the hour hand. When the minute hand has gone 7% minutes the hour hand has gone the 1-12 of 7% minutes, or of a minute, and both hands are together at 12 o'clock. When the minute hand has gone 7% minutes after 12 o'clock the hour hand is of a minute after 12 o'clock, and, of course, the minute hand is 6% minutes ahead of the hour hand, the same amount it was behind at the beginning." George S. Keller says: "The minute hand was at 7% minutes past 12 when the barber completed his job. The hour hand would move over 1% minutes during the 15 minutes, or would be of a minute's space past 12 after the job \^as completed Still another opinion from A. C. Schwend "Fritz, the barber, began at 6.25 o'clock and finished his job at 6-40 o'clook total, 15 minutes At 6 25 o'clock the minute hand was 7 minutes behind the hour hand, now move the minute hand up 15 minutes and the hour hand will move up also, but when the minute hand reaches 6.40 o'clock It will be the same number of minutes ahead as it was behind, that is, 7 minutes the missing minute is the space that the hour hand traveled, total, 15 minutes." Or by any other name is Just as convenient, appropriate), sensible and useful a present You wish to present gloves, but do not know the exact size or desired style and color. Present a Ga mossl Glove Order, which is le deemable at Its face value, at any time, at any of the Ga moesi stores in San Francisco, Denver, Oakland or Minneapolis. The recipient presents the order and is fitted to the particular style of glove required. 610 Nicollet SBBSSBE&BSI Half a Store ot Qloves Half Umbrellas. OSS9SSSSSSSS 1905 Imported fancy shirtings now in. What would be more suit able for a Christmas present than a few fine shirts from the latest designs and made by the best of workmen. Langlsy & Johnson, Custom Shirtmakers, 61 2 61 4 First Ave S. UNIONIST HAS RIGHT OF FAGING CHARGES New York Sun Special Service. New York, Dec. 13.The right of a labor union to expel a member without permitting him to be present when charges are heard against him, has been denied by Justice Scott of the supreme court. George Schmidt was in October. 1902, a member of Journeymen Brewers Union No. 1. It is claimed by Schmidt that a committee of three members of the union held an investigation concern ing certain matters that Schmidt was alleged to have gossipped about. He chargeB that the committee called one man at a time, putting questions to him and receiving answers. Schmidt al leged that he did not know there were any charges against him. He was fined $10. He refused to pay on the ground that he did not know charges had been preferred against him and that he was entitled to a hearing. See Stockwell soonThat life insur- anceThe Penn Mutual, Andrus Bldg. f* :m Minneapolis, Minn. Grievish 407 Nlofllet Av. THE LOST AJRTIOLE PUZZLE Great interest has been taken in The Journal's Saturday puzzle pictures for young folks, a vast volume of mail having been received from all over the northwest with names of the articles the young traveler has lost. One of the chief points in the puzzle is to send in the solution in an at- tractive way. Many little people who have sent in the correct answer will stand no show of being considered in the prize-winning class because they took no pains with their work. Many contestants simply tore out the puzzle pic- ture, marked the articles lost and wrote their names across the clipping, and the result is not attractive. A few have gone to a great deal of trouble to see how neatly they could send in their solutions, and of course these will be the ones considered for the prizes. The prize winners will be announced in Fri- day's Journal. The last ones received will stand as good a chance as the first, add Puzzle Stuff on back page OPTICIAN FOR... CHRISTMAS With White & MacNaught, Jewelers. GLASSES Desks All sizes, styles and grades. Fine line of Chairs and Office Furniture. AMERICAN BE8K CO., New store: 20 9 3d St. So. CHICAGO GREAT WESTERN RY. CITY OFFICE Fifth and NicoUet, DmroT Washington and Tenth Ave South. PHOEB HalnftM. Ex. Sunday. Others Dally. Lv. MpU Chicago and East, Dubuque Chicago, Sanaas City, Omaha, Chicago, Des Moines. Kansas City Kansas City, St Joseph. Des Howes Omaha, Ft. Dodge, Austin, Rochester, Red wing, Mankato, Faribault. Northfleld Dodge Center. Hayfleld What's the use? Wear a Gordon Patent Cap and be comfortable. Ar. MpU 1080 pm 800 am 115 pm 810 pm 810 pm 7 30 pm 1065 am 11 so am 740am SOOpm 10 45 pm 10 SO am 740 am 755 am 4 66 pm 4 35 pm WISCONSIN CENTRAL RY. MILWAUKEE and CHICAGO TAF'Si Leave 8 a.m. and 7:05 tn. dally. Arrive 8:50 a.m. and 5:10 p.m. dally. EUROPE New, Atlantic Steamship Service. Lowest through rates to and from Great Britain, Scandinavia, Germany, Holland, France, etc New. large, twin screw steamers with excellent accommodations for all classes. For particular? address agent Canadian Pacific Railway Co. Atlantic Steamship Lines, 15 So. Thud St.. Minneapolis, Minn.