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16 TH I. W S A :H fSS^WMonday Evening', ff?ftfc /& Long Bow. 0fMnv'( waft* *r ERE is a great deal of controversy over the. best way to dig the canal. W see no trouble with the simple plan of throwing the earth to one side and letting the water in. I is reported that the Russians do not take Hpdly to the typewriter. Perhaps she chews gum. A Chicago university professor says,thai he cannot ac- count for Adam and Eve. Then Moses' account may haye to stand after all. An institution for the training of show dogs in Vienna is proving a success. It curriculum is a severe one. The wild whoop of joy from Tokio is partly explained by the fact that the Japanese captured 80 000 tons of coal at Port Arthur. There is something about the grand jury of Multnomah county, Oregon, that we like. I not only indicted a United States senator, a representative in congress and a few others on a charge of conspiracy in the land frauds, but has started to work to clean up the city of Portland. Last week it indicted Mayor George Williams, once chief justice of Oregon territory, formerly United StateB senator from Ore gon and for nearly four years attorney general in President Grant's second cabinet. Mayor Williams, who is 83 years of age, has been charged with malfeasance in office thru having failed to enforce the law against gambling passed at the last session of the legislature giving him power to close disorderly houses in Portland. Hi chief of police is also indicted for the same offense. This is action that is likely to bring do-nothing mayors and their chiefs to their milk on short order. The rumor that the king is anxious to do something for Mr. Carnegie in the way of a title is interesting news for all Americans, who often keenly feel the need of- something in the way of a convenient handle for a name.^ TMis need, is now shown by the use of the convenient title of "General" or "Doctor." On his retirement from office it* would have been a graceful thing had ex-Governor Va Sant been decorated by the present governor with the well earned title of Sir Samuel Va Sant, Count of Winona. For meritorious services in the late campaign, Lord Frank lin Day, Ea ii of Fairmont, would not be so bad. W might mention Sir Michael Breslauer, Sir James Haynes or Count W William-Williams Granville Pease, Laird of Anoka Sir Carl Wallace, Count of Kenwood Lord Boardman-Cliamberlain. Acoording to Brother Hicks, from the 1st to the llth of January, Vulcan will be "central" and the moon a trifle bent from the ecliptic and aurora :in -perhelion^ result ing in considerable weather here and there with a touch of climate around the edges of the exposed places. Ozone will form freely in the central valleys and Nebraska will be whipsawed between a ringtailed snorter and a low barometer, which will dry up the egg output and cause strong men to cling to steam-heated flats like a porous plaster to a tender maiden. Ice will form in the kitchen and the plumbers will be as full of glory and of trouble as a hornet's nest in a hayfield. Owing to scarcity and to the independence of farmers, each with a stout wa in the bank, wheat will go higher than a cat's back and consumers will moan like the ocean among the rocks before the line storm. I these conditions do not develop it will be because Mercury and Jupiter counteract the effects of Vulcan by getting into the house of life and making a olimatological rough house with whiskers and earmuffs on it. La in your fuel and watch the indications carefully. Curios and Oddities. ANIMALS' ANTIPATHIES. MOKING a clay pipe, the circus actor sat in the winter training quarters. Under his supervision a thin boy was learning to ride erect on a quiet horse with a broad? flat back. ...'..:i. '.'In some towns they won't,let us show," said the man, "unle ss we have no camels with us. Camels are a serious drawback to shows. Horses are so much* afraid of them that lots of towns won't let a camel enter their gates. A horse won't go near a piece of ground a camel has stood on. The very smell of a camel in the air will make a horse tremble and sweat. An this fear isn't only found occa sionally in a horse here and there, I is found in every horse all over the world. Queer, isn't it? Cattle hate dogs in the same way, and cats hate dogs, too. Here, tho, we can ac- count for the hatred. Dogs, in primitive times, fed on calves, no doubt, and even today, they kill cats. "Horses love dogs. I'm sure I don't know* why. -Dogs fear no animals but pumas and leopards.? -You. aft take clog up to a lion's or a tiger's cage, and he will show no feat) but take him up to the cage of a puma or a leopard, and he will tremble and moan and slink away out of sight." HARD ON THE TEETH. SCOT entered a New York savings bank to open an ac count. told the teller a funny story, and, in laugh ing, showed front teeth worn down nearly to the gums. The rest of his teeth were strong and white. "My friend," said the teller, "I'llwager that you can play the bagpipes well. "Hech, mon, yer richl," the Scot replied. "In my ain land I was a piper by profession I knew it," said the teller. "From my front teeth?" TH 5'"''"'" BUTTER AND OLEO. E cooking teacher indicated with he* wand two dishes, each containing a pat of golden butter, "i "One is butter," she said. "The other is oleo. I want to show you a simple and conclusive test for oleoan easy way of distinguishing oleo and butter unmistakably. ..Then you need never again be cheated." She put the oleo and the butter in separate saucepans on the fire, and let them come to a boil. They boiled in a very different mannerone noisily, with a great deal of sputtering the other smoothly, giving forth an abundance of white foam. :r "It is the oleo," said the cooking teacher,,"that boils noisily, for oleo is a mixture of grease and water, and like a mixture of grease and water it boils. I is the butter that boils with a soft, silent.foamjng.,^.A, great difference,, isn't there? Remember the difference, remember this test, and you need never be inveigled in the 'future into, buying oleo for butter.". A 4- ColoneV A. R. O 'TIB pmeelag atrmogel' i- V:-*& i: "Exactly,"' VV The Scot drew his forefinger over his stubs of teeth and said: "Aweel, 'tis a fact w'ell-kent in Scotland that pipin* wears down the front teeth in four years. But, a friend, hoo did you learn this fact?" "My grandfather," the clerk answered, "was head pi- per for the Campbell clan." W 1^ :i "WHO THROWED THAT BRICK?" A String of Good Stories. 41know not bow the troth amy mat I tell the tale ma twaetoU tm me." A BAD DIAGNOSI S. FEW years ago a certain famous German surgeon, a pompous man who loved to impress his patients and students with his importance, was trapped beautifully, When he was lecturing to his students one day, a working man entered the room. The councillor stopped him by a gesture and ordered his class to look at him. "Now, Mr. X," he said to* one of the students, "what is the matter with, this man? From here you should be able to make a correct diagnosis, simply by looking at the man's face, his bearing and the contour of his head." Mr. X, Mr. Mr. having failed to make any diag nosis whatsoever, the professor triumphantly declared: "You ought to see at the first glance that the man is deaf and dumb." He forgot* of course, to mention that he himself had frequently seen the patient. To the delight of the students, the patient suddenly remarked: "No, your excellency, it is my brother who is deaf and dumb.i Bu the looks very much like me." PRACTICED O N THE STRANGERS. i ACOMB-HOOD, the artist," said ah English editor, J "was sent to Delhi by a syndicate of newspapers to make illustrations of the durbar last year. After his return he often recounted an experience he had in a barber shop, as illustrating the native character. "The artist was shaved in the shop rather badly. The operator cut him twice, once on, the chin and once on the cheek. To the last cut Jacomb-Hood had to apply a plaster. said to the operator as he did so 'It's too bad of you to have cut me twice* You'll lose all your regular customers at this rate.' 'Not at all, sir, said the operator, to shave the regular customers yet strangers.' REASON FOR EXTRAVAGANCE. N E day a man of known frugal tendencies was met by a friend, who observed that the other was rigged out in his best attire, including a silk hat that was taken out of its box on only the most festive occasions. The stingy man said: "Heard the news?" "No. What is it?" "Twins!" he exclaimed, jerking his thumb over his Shoulder, in the direction of his domicile. The friend began to understand. I congratulate you," said he. "That explains the holiday make-up." -"Sure," responded the close-fisted man disgustedly. "What's the use in my trying to be economical." A STRAN GE DISAPPEARANCE. E German on his native heath has some peculiar no tions about wit and humor. A tourist with his bride, asked a driver if there was anything remarkable about the mountain they were ascending, and he answered: "No, nothing peculiar about the hill itself, but there is a queer story connected with it "Please give us the legend." .'.'Weil, once upon a time a ypung lady .and gentleman went up this mountain together, and hundreds of people saw them go higher and higher until they disappeared, and they never came back. "What became of them?" "They went down on the other side." What the Market Affords. W HEN you come to think of it, it is really quite sur prising the number of dishes into whose composition am enters. Where it is a minor ingredient used for giving a flavor it is always used in small pieces and is often minced. I is not, necessary to use the best parts of a ham for slicing, in th^^dy|bam hocks are the small:: ends:, of"tbje'hams and these are just as good in flavor for such purposes.and their use makes quite a saving, as they can be bought for 4.0 cents a pound or less in some places. They also answer very well for cooking with cabbage, spinach or other veget ables. As a sample of the ways of using bits of ham not suit able for slicing the following is a good recipe: For boeuf en rouleau a thin rump steak is the basis mix half a cup of chopped ham with a little cayenne, a tablespoonful of chopped parsley and one egg, slightly beaten spread mixture over the steak and roll up tightly and tie with twine dredge thickly with flour. Tr all the fat out of quarter of a pound of" bacon in a fryingpan, remove the bacon and brown the rouleau in the fat put into a small saueepan add to the fat two tablespoonfuls of flour and a pint of water or stock and stir until it boils, pour into saucepan, with one bay leaf, half an oiiion, a sprig of parsley and a tabespoohful of Worcestershire sauce. Cover saucepan and simmer for two hours. I serving, the rouleau is to be garnished with ham balls made as follows: Boil a gill of milk and add to it two tablespoonfuls of. dry breadcrumbs, stir until thick add half a cup of finely chopped- ham, a tablespoonful of chopped parsley, cayenne and the beaten yolk of one egg cool and form into balls about the size of hickory nuts, roll" first in egg and then in breadcrumhs plun into boiling fat for two minutes. The sauce is strained over the rouleau.-j.? Chopped ham may be made into a scallop or croquettes or served as a salad mixed with shredded lettuce leaves and a dozen chopped capers, ~~-^__ THE MESISEAP^ JOURNAL, 'Jr :(i I am not allowed I only shave TE wiskern's Nutty Hunch. ,FTER the members of the Chicago-Minne apolis committee had done their full duty to the railroads which employed ,them by again solemnly resolving that all cut ting of passenger rates in the northwest should cease upon pain of instant dis missal of the offending underling discus sion chanced to drift upon the question whether railroad men are superstitious. Presented with the opportunity to dis play their knowledge, some of the pas senger men drifted into the realms of Esoteric Buddhism and psychic phe nomena, with a touch of spiritualism thrown in for full measure. Finally W B. Kniskern, passenger traffic manager"" for the North-Western system, insisted that he was neither superstitious nor did he understand psychic phenomena. "Just the same," he concluded, I had one of those psychic things happen to me when I was engaged in trying to induce everyone in Nashville to travel by tn Louisville & Nashville. The Grau Opera company was coming to town for a week's engagement, and the outfit, scenery andally werecoming over our line, thanks to. the persuasive ability of the Louisville & Nashville's gen tlemanly representative--" "W. B. Kniskern," suggested Chairman MacLeod. '''The very same," continued Mr. Kniskern. "The day before the grand opera season would be upon us the advance agent called upon me and, rubbing his hands gleefully, de clared that the advance sales had been enormous. ",'A good first night,' he declared, 'would make the engagement a record-breaker. If everything goes well to- morrow night they can't stop us. I suppose that scenery is on the way all right, and will show up on time?' assured him that it was as he supposed, and he left me in $ happy frame of mind. The next day as I was sitting in my office thinking about nothing in particular the con viction flashed upon me that it was up to me to get the Grau scenery here in tune for the opening performance. I laughed at the conviction at first, but it recurred to me with irresistible force, and I could not get it out of my head that the.scenery was doing time on a sidetrack somewhere be tween St. Louis and Nashville. I remembered that the open ing opera was to be 'Aida,' which requires the double stage, and therefore an endless amount of scenery. Accordingly if that scenery did not arrive no makeshift would supply the want of it. "By early afternoon I had worked myself into a state bordering upon nervous prostration, and finally I bolted for Major. James Geddes' office. TheTmajor was then a division superintendent, and after apologizing for mixing up in a matter that was really n.one of my business I asked him if the Grau scenery was x|i'^e 3ay, i 'Certainly it is/ |?he$i*eplied convicingly. 'It left St. Louis early last evening,. and is coming special pn a fast schedule. I will be her^ within an hour from now.' "'How do you knc#/all that?' I demanded. "'Know it, knowit,' shouted the major wrathfully. 'How do I know I'm alitre? Haven't I got the reports show ing the make-up of the^special^he time it. left St. Louis and the schedule on wiJ.w it is'rminihg? You had better go back to your office, young man, arid keep on selling tickets. pon't meddle, with the operating department unjess you ^.can jtalk Sense. ^r:.i\} :si r, ^i'JuStf the samej major,y~ I insisted, I haye,. reason. to knpw that the Grau scenery is not on the way $ Nashville.' 'V, "The major's wrath knew no bounds. '"Where is it, then?' he snorted. 'Somewhere on a sidetrack between here and St, Louis,' I re plied. 'Ypung man,' said the. major, rising, 'yo are such a blamed fool that I will break my rule and take the trouble to convince you that you are one, in stead of kicking out oil my office. W erushed up stairs to the train dispatcher's office, where the major ordered the dispatcher to show me progress of the Grau special. ".'It is not progressing. I has been lying on the side track at Riolado for five hours,' replied the dispatcher, 'and I've been scouring the system for an engine. The special's engine went dead.'. "The major forgot me, forgot everything except that special. I a trice he had another engine tearing up the track to get to Riolado, from a point a few miles* away, and then he cleared the track and gave the scenery the right-of way clear to Nashville. Th at run of 185 miles from Riolado to Nashville stands as a southern record today, but it burned up nearly every car in the outfit to make it. The special arrived thirty minutes before opening time. I had an army of wagons and men waiting for it, and before the curtain was rung up every last stick of it was in place." "What did the major say?" was asked, "ihe next day he sent for.me and said: 'Young man, the.next time you have one of those nutty hunches, hit the main line, and see me before-it works off.'"Chicago Rec^drHerald. "CERTAINLY IT IS," HE KEPLIED, CON you VINOINGLY. Come with me. What Women Want to Know. S FOR WOOLEN CLOTH.-You gave a simple method for knowing lineal the other day, and now will you tell me of some easy test for proving that a piece of cloth is all wool?Mrs'. I often happens that woolen goods will be doctored with cotton. To discover this there are several tests that can be made. By applying a. lighted match to a sample of the goods, the manner in which it burns will be evidence of its genuineness. Wool will burn slowly, while cotton will goj^ike a train of gunpowder. Another test is to unravel the threads and the cotton can then easily be detected. ^QUESTION FOR TOMORROW. TABLE ETIQUETTE.Is it considered proper to eat corn from the cob or eggs from the shell? Also what is the propfej* way to set a table, that is in the placing of the knives, lorks and spoons? I read your columns with much interest and would be glad if you could give me the above information.Patience. M In "Korea two years of every three have twelve months eachlof*t#enty-nine qr thirty days.. The third ye$r has thir teen Stoths,. with 385 days. j$&&&J& &&ji&'.^ 9 vA. Journal's Daily Puzzle SOLUTION TO THE HAftE AND TOBTOISE PUZZLE. Says Mr Loyd: In the race between the hare and the tortoise the length of the track makes no difference. The tortoise had one-eighth start and has run 4.25 times as fast as the hare up to the time they meet, and as the hare has five-sixth?: yet to run 5x4.25 equals 21.25 as fast as he went before, but as the question said how much faster, and 20.25 faster is equal to 21.25 as fast, we will say that the answer should be 20.25 plus faster to win. It being clear that 20.25 would only tie the race, he must go a little over to win. E. H. Abbott, Owatonna, Minn., was the only correspondent to send in 20.25 plus as an answer, and is therefore the only winner, according to the opinion of Mr. Loyd, the umpire. A large number of answers were received giving 21.25 plus as the correct solution, among them being C. R. Davis, C. B. Goodsell, J. A. Curry, H. A. Schow, M. Stuart Moir, Simon Nelson, Mrs. Ina Reed, Minneapolis Emmett E. Olson, Montevideo, Minn. G. R. Gechill, Elk River, Minn. Eugene V. Kaplan, Owatonna HMlMWMMWWWtWWM RAPID INCREASE IN RURAL ROUTES, Northwest Has Many Routes in Operation, but Wants Many More. By W. W. Jermane. Washington, Jan. 7.Rapid progress is being made in the establishment of rural free delivery service in the north west. A compilation for office use by the officials of the service here shows that on June 30 last, the close of the fiscal year, 146 petitions for the estab lishment of routes in Minnesota were pending 964 routes were in operation, and adverse reports had been made on 299 applications. Six months later, on Jan. 2, the number of cases pending had been reduced to 114, the number of routes established had increased to 1,110, and the number of applications reported on adversely had increased to 332. The record for North Dakota is: June 30Pending applications, 38 routes in operation, /3 adverse re ports, 65. Jan. 2Pending applica tions, 44, an increase of 4 routes in operation, 103, an increase of 30 ad verse reports, 125, an increase of 5. For South Dakota the table shows: June 30Pending applications, 38 routes in operation, 175 adverse re ports, 109. Jan 2Pending applica tions, 32, a decrease of 6 routes in operation, 211, an increase of 36 ad verse reports, 125, an increase of 14. Crookston Plums Not Ripe. Representative Steenerson said to day that he would not take up the question of filling the offices of regis ter ana receiver of the land office at Crookston until after congress adjourns. The commission of Sylvester Peterson, register, does not expire until March 28, and Receiver George's term runs until some time in April. Both are candidates for reappointment and other candidates rhave appeared, whose names Mr. Steenerson declines. to make pub lic. -Neither will he discuss the alleged opposition of Peterson to his nomina tion for congress in 1902,..simply say ing he would,set tie the matter when he gets home in March. Nobody here is bothering about ap pointments at other Jajid offices in Min nesota, as their terins do not expire for a year or more.- Minnesota Claims. In the "omnibus" claims bill, which was reported to the senate last Wed nesday, provision is made for the pay ment of several claims filed by people residing in the northwest. The Minne sotans named are A. M. Short, Still water, foi whom $100 is appropriated, and Henry N. Manney, $180. The ser vice rendered for which payment is to be made is not mentioned in the bill. In addition to these an item of $8,000 is carried in the bill to reward Jean Louis Legare of Canada for procuring the surrender of Sitting Bull, and one of $1,2,487 to pay W. J. Kountz for transportation of troops and supplies on the Yellowstone river, under a con tract made with army officers at St. Paul in 1895. Senator Warren of Wyo ming, who is in charge of the measure, hopes to secure its passage in the pres ent session. TEN LOST IN SHIP COLLISION. !London, Jan. 9.Stormy weather still continues on the British coasts and sev eral shipping casualties are reported. The Belfast schooner Dispatch cpllided with the Sunderland steamer Dinningham off Bamsgate yesterday. The Dispatch was towed into Ramsgate but the Dinning ham is believed to have sunk with her crew of ten men. Several other vessels were driven ashore at different points, their 'crews being rescued with great diffi culty* H. Morrill, Fergus Falls, Minn. B. Torgersrud, Norcross, Minn.. O. Jorgeson, Bath, S. D. R. A. Brown, Miles City, Mont. H. E. Hanson. Wayne. Neb. D. Campbell, Little Falls, Minn. Joe Underwood, Hutchinson, Minn. Karl Flo, Mankato, Minn. Mrs. Thron Thronson. Brandt, S: D. Francis C. Hamilton, Wahpeton, N. D. C. G. Howard, Rockford, Minn. A. L. Longhenry, Langdon, N. D. Horace Butler, Miles City, Mont. Mrs. E. Ford, Absaraka, N. D., says: "Twenty times plus the smallest imaginable fraction of one." Said Mr. Casey: "I am satisfied that some cows have more sense than th average man. My old brindle was standing on the long bridge the other day, placidly looking into the water, when she spied the lightning express, just twice the length of the bridge away from the end, coming at a ninety-mile an hour clip. Now, she did not waste the forty-eieven-millionth part of a second in idle specula- tion she just made a dash towards the advancing train and saved herself by the narrow margin of one foot, whereas, if she had followed the human instinct of running away from the train, three inches of her rear would have been caught on the bridge! It would be a great thing if some procrastinators. who never can make up their minds one way or the other, were placed in the position of my old brindle cow, so they had to think quick. It is a pretty problem to reckon the gait of that cow, and to tell how far she was standing from the middle of the long bridge! Can you figure it out?" The ten persons who send in the correct answer, submitted in the neatest way, before 6 p.m. Jan. 13, will each be mailed a copy of Lody's famous Tangram books. Puzzle Editor, Tha Journal. HUMAN INTEREST STORIES. WILL SOME YOUNG MAN ASK AN TTNPOPU lar girl to the University junior. Journal. The above personal suggests an inquiry into the present state of civilization. Is it possible that there is an unpopular girl in the University of Minnesota, or is there a lack of gallantry on the part of the men there? Picture to yourself a young woman in this- situation: She has a new dress and she wants to go to the ball. Nobody in trousers asks her, and therefore she cannot go. and why? Because for some cause totally irrevelant to her desire to go to the ball she is unpopular. Does she squint or is she sarcastic? Nobody knows what the trouble is, but she is evidently an independent young woman, and, recognizing the fact that she is unpopular, she appeals to the press, that great Palladium of our liberties, to help her overcome the difficulties in her way. The incident suggests that there is something for the faculty to do besides permitting the students to hold this ball. The faculty should see to it that all tha young women who Want to go to that ball arrive. Why should a young woman, who wants society amusement and the brightness of the ballroom, be condemned because she is unpopular? The young woman may be criticised for advertising for help, but isn't she quite right? She wants to go to the ball, and under the existing ruj.es of society she must have an escort. The university doesn't do its duty by providing one, and so she wisely advertises her want in The Journal. She doesn't want to kidnap or eat any of the towheads who are avoiding her she merely wants to go to the ball, and she would be justified in calling in a a A T. boy. But Wise woman that she is, she lets her want be known thru a Journal Want Ad that inexpensive, effective means for supplying real needs. And she is bound to get her want filled, for The Journal "Wants do everything. Isn't there a moral in this for you? wwHI Packages delivered to all parta of city 10c St. Paul and Parka 16c Four deliveries in city daily. TREASURE CHEST IN GOTHAM RUINS Old Theodore Macey Estate Yields Rich Find of Golden Coin. New York Sun Special Service. New York, Jan. 9.An old riveted chest which contains more than $150,- 000 in English, German and American gold, has been found in a secret alcove on the last parcel of the old Theodore M. Macey estate to be sold in the Bronx. Altho the find was made last Wednesday, the new owner of the chest did not make the discovery known until yesterday. James F. Meehan is the lucky man. Thomas Cunningham, foreman of a gang of laborers, found the precious relic of an old fortune and turned it over to Mr. Meehan, who owns the land and is having an apartment house erected on the site. Recently Mr. Meehan purchased the last parcel of the old estate. Cunning ham, with his men, was ripping out a little wine cellar in the efi of the foundation last Wednesday, when he struck a wall which was seen, to have once contained a door, which had been fealed and blocked with stone. The men tore the wall down, passed thru the wine cellar and came upon a littla den about 8x10. In a cobwebb:/", pitch dark corner, inserted in an alcove m?.^ especially for it, the chest was found. Meehan got a mechanic to pry open the lock, and within was found the shining golden coin that, old Macey is supposed to have hoarded. CLERGY IN CLASH AT GROTTO Of NATIVITY Jerusalem, Jan. 9.The Greek Christmas observances in the Grotto of the Nativity at Bethlehem were marked by a sharp fight between Greek and Latin clergy arising from the old-time jealousy regarding protection of. the grotto. The -Greek patriarch was celebrating midnight mass when Franciscan monks created a disturbance. A collision en sued, resulting in some bloodshed. The governor had to be summoned to quell the rioting. x. -t it'