Newspaper Page Text
E PRESIDENT FAIRBANKS is going out on a farm
summer for exercise. There is lots of ,it there if
you hunt for it.
There is a gas steal so gorgeous and disreputable going on
in Philadelphia that it makes the coal business look hke a
Sunday school concert.
The old lavromower, coming out of the darksome base
ment, is discovered to have corns on its racing gear.
Go out and carrienation the dandelions before it is too
The reckless haste of the Panama commission in getting
to work reminds one of the excessive rapidity of the man who
promised to come and put in the screens.
That is Willie Jonest Why, yesj
Willie's "first one in," I guess.
Water's cold and Willie's shiver
Jars the surface of the river.
Mother first will find it out.
Willie's shirt's on wrong side out!
Father then will take a hand
Warming him to beat the band.
M^'/^ Long Bow.
"Bya nature** watts, shoot tolly aa It tUaa.
Mrs. Addle Rique, at the Woman's Athletic club in
Chicago, is teaching a stunt called, for short, "psycho
physical culture." She has been telling her pupils that
"every woman should practice emotions." A woman,"
she says, "should practice the entire gamut of emotions and
should know them and master them. An emotional woman
is magnetic," she says, "an impulsive one electric. Emotions
are edficated impulses. An impulsive person attracts
but cannot hold. A magnetic one attracts and holds."
Hence if you are suddenly attracted and held you
may know that a magnetic one who is trained in psycho
physical stunts has thrown the gaff into you.
The Fargo Forum, which is pretty sure to tell at least
two good stories a day, has an account of the bad slam given
a negligent Fargo husband by his wife. It seems that George
has been less and less at home, "business interests" requir
ing trips on the road. Even when in town he frequently re-
mains over night at the club rather than miss an early morn
ing business engagement.
Still the little wife has never complained, but when one
Saturday evening she was called to the phone and urged to
come down town for a late^supper at a popular cafe she was
overcome with surprise.
"Where shall I meet you, George?" she inquired.
"Go directly to the cafe, my dear," he responded, "and I
will meet you there.''
"Al right, dearest," she replied, "and George"
I shall wear a red rose so that you may recognize me."
$mce Colonel De La Bere of Sheldon has been appointed
__ the governor's staff of North Dakota he has been learn
ing the equestrian art. The bespangled uniform and glitter
big blade did not bother him these he could wear as to the
manner born, but when it came to mounting a meat horse
that snorted, the colonel was not exactly at his ease. Sheriff
Timothy J. Dwire, sympathizing with his aspirations, loaned
hum a broncho with which to begin his disciplinary pratice
and suggested that he might imitate our rough rider president
and gain state wide renown* Colonel De La Bere accepted
the proffer gladly, and is now laboriously acquiring the art
of sitting the saddle gracefully and smiling at the land
scape, preparatory to the evolutions at the Devils Lake en-
campment this summer, supporting the dignity of the gov
ernor. General Boyden of the Lisbon Free Press chronicles
some of Colonel De La Bere's difficulties in getting the
broncho "saddle broke." The colonel first bought a cow
boy's saddle, and with the assistance of a chair, mounted his
steed and was enabled to execute ordinary movements. But
in response to persistent raillery, that a cowboy's saddle was
not sufficiently ornamental, he borrowed a modern saddle
with a wealth of trappings. With this fancy gear the
broncho was contemptuously unfamiliar, but the colonel, by
the aid of the chair, mounted as usual, and then something
happened. The broncho had an idea that the fancy saddle
was something of a dude outfit for a free prairie hoss and he
felt about as a Dutchman who smokes a pipe that holds a
pint feels when somebody offers him a cigarette. The steed
smelt of the trappings, snorted once or twice, and suddenly
curved up in the middle like an amateur earthquake. Colonel
De La Bere hit the prairie.
This might have discouraged an ordinary colonel, but it
did not have that effect on the Sheldon editor. At eventide,
along unfrequented streets, the colonel is seen, his charger
champing the bit and shaking his mane, but with the gov
ernor's staff still on top, tho there are two or three dents
in the rich prairie sod along the right of way.
-A. J. R.
What the Market Affords.
Homegrown asparagus, 6 and 7 cent3.
Wax beans, 10 cents a pound.
Spinach, 15 cents a peck.
Beet greens, 35 cents a peck.
Mint, 5 qents a bunch.
Tomatoes, 50 cents a basket.
Cucumbers, 5, 8 and 10 cents.
Texas onions, 5 cents a pound.
Saratoga chips, 20 cents a pound.
Chickens, 16 to IS cents.
Milk lamb, 18 to 25 cents.
The staple of the vegetable market is young onions and
they are large, white and tender now andNat their very best.
And they sell like the proverbial hot cakes, apparently
crowding out nearly everything else. Next to young onions
the most popular things are the silver, red and Bermuda
onions coming chiefly from Texas. These are very clean, solid
and uniform size.
There is not such a noticeable difference in the prices of
most vegetables in the past fortnight, but they have gone up
in quality and bunch things are larger and more in a bunch.
Homegrown asparagus is both thicker and longer and every
inch of it is good and tender. Beans are tender and crisp
and peas are not all pods. Strawberries are of fine quality
and vie in popularity with pineapples, which are getting
spider, still and intent, watched the fly that struggled
vainly in its web.
"Spiders are voracious eaters," said the naturalist. "If
you had, according to your size, an appetite equal to a
spider's, do you know what you would eat daily?"
"For breakfast you would eat an ox. For luncheon you
would eat four barrels of fresh fish. For dinner two "bul
locks, eight sheep and four hogs would no more than fill you.
For supper, in order to sleep well, you would need an ox and
seven calves." \^_ 5
"Well, if a spider eats like that, I'm glad a man.'
he little creature must have a hard time procuring food,"
"HE LAUGHS BEST," ETC.
The Lake Dweller.I can't help but feel sorry fox the
poor chaps in town.
Sorrows of the Seasickly.
By ARTHUR W. WARNOOK.
N BOARD S. S. Republic at Naples, April
25.There are three classes of passen
gers on shipboardthose who are sick*
and don't care who knows it those who
are sick and won't aclmit it, and a
microscopically small number who really
don't get sick at all. Those of the first
class go to bed or sit out on deck' and
look the part of being "all in." Those of the second elass
look worse, but declare "it is only a headache" or I wasn't
feeling up to the mark when I started.'' The few who brave
out a bad tossabout (so the veracious steward says), eat
pork and tripe and beans and ice cream with apparent relish.
If it wasnt for his arrogance, the lucky immune wouldn't
be a bad sort, but the temptation is strong to put him in
irons or chuck him overboard when he recites for the hun
dredth time the fact that he is always ready to eat the five
daily meals that are served on shipboard, to say nothing of
the usual intermittent "snacks" and that "last time, out of
415 passengers there were only six at the table and I was
one of them."
On a first ocean trip the voyager is apt to expect the
captain to a,ct as host and spend his time on deck entertain
ing passengers and turning off quips and quirks and merry
wiles. He may entertain the hope that he will meet the cap
tain and even sit at the captain's tables That is another
tradition that has gone by the board. The trans-Atlatftic
lines steadily discourage this practice. Instead of finding
the commander on the promenade deck you will find him on
the bridge or in his own quarters. While not as inaccessible
as the sultan of Turkey, he is not an easy man to get on
friendly terms with. The idea is that the captain, always at
his post, impresses passengers with a sense of security
much more than the captain who is playing host. The
duties of host, such as looking after deck games, dances,
etc., are left to the purser, and while the captain may look
in, he is "the doctor at the bedside." The standard of
captains has thus been raised greatly within the past twenty
yea^s, old travelers will tell you, and this fact, of course,
tends to increase
the peace of mind of
the nervous traveler
and to teach him
that an ocean trip is
not such a risky
venture after all.
Games of chance
on shipboard are a
tradition that still
keeps green as the
bay tree. Pools are
made every day on
the ship's run and
usually are sold for
from $2.50 to $10
per entry. The pool
may have five en
tries or four times
that many, but gen
erally there is $25
to $100 to the lucky
man who guesses
nearest the day's
run. A favorite
pool is sold by auc
tion and then there
are some good pick
ings. On a recent
'trip of a liner a
pool was bid up to
$1,100 and was won
by a passenger who
paid $20 for his
number. The spirit
of fair play enters
into the pools so
strongly that there is much sport in the game and each day's
reckoning at exactly noon furnishes the excitement for the
smoking room for the day. -f
No ocean trip is complete without a "concert," usually
given a night or two before the trip ends. On our trip
just finished, we had a fine show. With talent aboard like
W. H. Crane, the comedian, 'Albert, the pianist and a half
dozen prominent New York singers, it wasn't difficult to
get up a program that netted the Home for Wives and
Orphans of Seamen, to which charity all proceeds are de-
votedsomething like $200. When one considers how many
of these concerts are given, it may be seen how well this
charity, which has been in existence thirty, years, is main
tained, both in New, York and Liverpool.*
The ship's dances are also conducive to much sociability
and the sedate little game of deck shuffleboard keeps a num
ber of eminently respectable travelers busy from "eight
bells to eight lells." _,
A two weeks' ocean trip is a great education to him who
has never tried anything more exciting than rowboating on
Cedar lake and one dag slips into another before,ojae knows
tt0KEy,MAPAME .=M0NEy, MONSIEUR',
jt. When smooth waves do away with the discussion of
seasickness there is much to while away the time and before
it the hour is approaching for disembarkation.
Then there is a great exchanging of addresses and cards and
invitations, which everybody knows, will certainly not be
taken advantage of. The stewards, with smiling faces, line
up for their "handouts." The postal clerk has been turn
ing an honest penny meanwhile by selling stamps at double
price and is ready to hand over 4,500 letters and souvenir
postcards to the Naples postoffice to be sent to friends
across the sea. The writing of these cards and letters be-
gins, be it said, before the ship is out of New York harbor.
As our ship steamed into the Bay of Naples this great,
glorious sunny morning and a tug was pushing her into her
berth, all passengers crowded to the rails and looked at the
smoking Vesuvius and drank in the great scene. At last
here was Europe, here was the land we had dreamed about
and read about and longed to see. Yes, here indeed was
the land of song and story and wine and history.
But, splash into the /water beside the ship, a tall, black
Neapolitan jumps from a little rowboat. Startled at the
sound, all hands look over. He appeals for coin for which
he is willing to dive.
"Money, madamel Money, monsieunii" he cries plain
You wake up. You're in Europe, all right, and the gen
tleman in the water has voiced Europe's welcome to you and
your gentle tourist friends from the land of the free and the
home of the nickel.
Curios and Oddities.
'Tla paaalng atraagal"
THE SPORT OF FISH-FIGHTING.
ti\ I 7 HEN I was in Bangkok," said the sailor, a Siamese
VV lady showed me the sights. The strangest sight
I saw was a prize-fight between two fish.
I have seen bull-fights, dog-fights, cock-fights, and man
fights, but this fish-fight was something new. I was inter
ested. I don't mind admitting that I was foolish enough in
the excitement to bet 50 cents on the wrong fish.
"The fight was pulled off in a square hall roofed with
canvas. I judge there was a hundred spectators. In the
middle of the hall, on an elevated table, a big glass bowl of
clear water stood. The owners of the fish squatted on the
floor, so as not to hinder anybody from seeing the bowL The
fighters were hidden in cloth-covered bottles.
"The referee gave the word in Siamese, everybody got
quiet, and each owner dropped his fish out of its bottle into
the glass bowl.
"They were slim fish, cigar-shaped, with big mouths and
sharp teeth, and one was painted a bright red, the other
red and white. The minute they lit in the bowl, they shot at
one another like greased lightning. They tore up and down,
and snapped, and twisted, and circled and tugged till the
calm water rocked and foamed like the sea in a storm.
"They bit each other everywhere, but it was the tails
and fins they went for most. Both those fishes' tails were
torn to ribbons in a few minutes. Pieces of tail and fin,
snapped off, would sink slowly doWnto the bottom of the
"The fight lasted an hour. By that time the red
and white fish had lost so much tail and fin that
he couldn't steer himself right. He blundered about
the bowl running headfirst, with a loud thud, into the glass
sides, and it was easy for the red feller to nip him anywheres.
So the fight got one-sided and monotonous, and the referee
ended it by giving reddy the decision.
"There was as many ladies as men at the fish-fight.
Fish-fightin', I was told, is one of Siam's popular sports.
A certain kind of fish is bred and trained for fightin'. They
are painted in bright colors so that they can be seen well in
the water. The red fish I lost money on was a champion.
He had won over twenty battles."
THE TOMBSTONE CENSOR.
TOMBSTONE censor is employed by most large ceme
teries. It is the duty of this man to see that nothing
wnseemly in the way of a tombstone is put up.
Our cemeteries, but for the tombstone censor, would not
preserve for long their decorous and dull gloom. For in-
A young engineer in a Norristown mill was killed by the
explosion of a boiler, and the family of this young man, be-
lieving that the mill owners had known all along that the
boiler was defective, actually had carved on the tombstone
the sentence, "Murdered by His Masters." The tombstone
censor, of course, refused to sanction such an epitaph.
On the death of a certain noted prize-fighter, the sur
viving brother of the man wanted to put in a glass case be-
side the grave a championship belt, four medals, a pair of
gloves, and other trophies of the ring. But the censor's
negative was firm.
A widow who believed that the physician was responsible
for her husband's death wished to put on the tomb, "He
Employed a Cheap Doctor," but the tombstone censor
showed her that such an inscription wauld lay her open to
heavy damages for libel.
Atheists sometimes direct in their wills that shocking
blasphemies be carved on their monuments. The censor, how
ever, sees to it that these blasphemies do not disfigure his
WASHINGTON AS A TOBACCONIST.
leading tobacconists of Great Britain,*' said a
1 pipemaker, "are the Wills firm. This firm is over
two hundred years old, and ifi its office in Bristol there
hangs in a fine frame an autograph letter of George -Wash
"Washington, you see, worked for this firm. He raised
tobacco for it on his Virginia estate. I have a copy of his
letter. It runs:
'Virginia, 25th November, 1759.
Gentlemen,Some time this week I expect to get on
board the "Cary" for your house fifty hogsheads of tobacco
of my own and John Parke Custis's, which please to insure
in the usual manner. I shall also by the same ship send yoii
ten or twelve hogsheads more if I can get them on board in
time but this, I believe, will be impracticable if Captain
Tulman uses that despatch in loading which he now has in
his power to do. I am, gentlemen,
'Your most obedient, humble servant,
What Women Want to Know.
FINGERNAILS.What is the reason that chil
dren eat off their fingernails until they are sore, and
what can be done to stop it? Every known scheme has been
tried without avail.Old Reader.
Children will often begin to bite their nails from nervous
ness and it soon grows to be a habit. Have you tried putting
cayenne pepper or quinine on the nails so that any attempt
to bite them will result in a bad taste and remind the child
that biting nails is forbidden. If you will keep the child's
nail highly polished he will soon stop biting then/ for the
nail will be like glass and little will be gained by nibbling
QUESTION FOR TOMORROW.
SKIN ERUPTIONS.-Can you telr me how to cure eruptions
and itching of the skin? Please let me know thru: the
May 22, 1905.
INTERNATIONAL SUNSHINE SOCIETY
96 Fifth avsnne, Vew York. Cynthia West
ver Aldea, founder and president general.
Hoo 64, Loan and Trost building-, S13 Wiool
let avenue, Minneapolis Telephone, N, W. Main
All Sunshine news for publication in the Sun.
shine department of The Minneapolis Journal
Should b addressed to Mrs. Theodore Haynes.
vention tf the Sunshine society attracted
nearly 1,000 women, representing- almost
every state In the union, to Niagara Falls,
N. T., last week There was a special
Sunshine train from New York carrying
the general officers, which arrived in Ni
agara in time for a short business meet
ing of the presidents and delegates
Thursday was devoted to the transac
tion of the annual business Mrs Cyn
thia Westover Alden, the founder and
president syneral of the society, extended
a greeting to the Sunshiners
'This Sunshine society starts out with
the proposition that poor people are not
mostly objects of charity, and that rich
people are not mostly beings without feel
ing or sympathy," said Mrs Alden "Also
that people who regard themselves as
neither rich nor poor are in an over
whelming majority everywhere. Kindness
extends its mystic freemasonry over all
"So far as what we call material sun
shine goes, there are not many lives so
devoid of accessories that some are not
superfluous. The unluckiest child has
some toy that is now unused. The closest
scrimped, student has some textbook that
can be passed on to a boy who has none
of that kind, and a farmer's wife can
send a jar of jelly that will gladden the
heart of a brave son in the jungles of
"That sympathetic souls may be
brought into contact with one another is
the aim of the society. It is said. 'Now
we see thru a glass darkly, but then face
to face' It is the theory of Sunshine
work that some of the smoke can be
rubbed off the glass right here, and that
heaven may thus be brought a little
nearer to many thousand hearts
The report of the retiring chairman of
the membership committeee, Miss Emily
Elwell, whioh was read by Miss Winona
Pool, officer for New Tork, gives a splen
did idea of the general membership, which
runs away over 800,000 This number does
not include the Baptist Juniors o- school
children, the Sunday schools nor the mis
sions that have Joined The general cabi
net, whioh contains 100 000 enrolled
names, and the state cabinet are com
plete, after two years of hard labor The
general membership (not federated mem
bership) of each state stands as follows
Alison*, 500, Arkansas, 2,500 Alabama, 11,00,
California, 10,000, Colorado, 5,000, Connecticut,
16,000 Tennessee, 11,000, Kentucky, 6,000,
Louisianna, 7,000, Maine, 7,000, Massachusetts,
11,000 District Columbia, 1,000, Kansas,
1,700, Missouri, 10,000, Ohio, 6,500, Oregon,
600, North Dakota, 400, South Dakota, 800,
Minensots, 7,000, Mississippi, 4,000, Nebrabka,
4,000, Montana, 500, Iowa, 5,000, Flarlda,
8,000, Georgia, 2,500 Oklahoma, 250, New
Mexico, 1,500, Wisconsin, 5,600, Wyoming, 540,
New Jersey, 14,000, New Tork, 50,000, Michi
gan, 15,000, Washington, 3,000, West Virginia,
650, Alaska, 250, Pennsylvania, 15.000, Rhode
Island, 6,000 North Carolina, 2,500, Texas,
8,000, South Carolina, 4,000,, Utah, 1,000,
Virginia, 4,000, Vermont, 2,500, Nevada, 300,
Delaware, 700 New Hampshire, 500, Idaho,
400 Illinois, 12,000 Indian Territory, 600, In
diana, 10,000, Maryland, 6,000
Miss Anna Peters read the report of
the Brafieh cabinet, which was prepared
by Mrs. Albert Whitehouse It supple
mented Miss Elwell's report and gave the
number of branches in each state as fol
Arkansas, 10, Arisona, 9, Alabama, 14 Cali
fornia, 78 Colorado, 38, Connecticut, 101
Tennessee, 52, Kentucky, 4$, Louislan, 55,
Maine, 70, Massachusetts, 47, District of Colum
bia, 88, Kansas, 16, Missouri, 65, Ohio, 61,
Oregon, 14, North Dakota, 6, South Dakota,
13 Minnesota, 48, Mississippi, 22, Nebraska,
88, Montana, 7 Iowa, 35, Florida, 27, Georgia,
22, Oklahoma, 9, New Mexico, 8, Wisconsin,
87, Wyoming, 6, New Jersey, 99, New oYrk,
478. Michigan, 98 Washington, 27, West Vir
ginia, 9, Alaska, 4, Pennsylvania, 149, Rhode
Island, 12 North Carolina, 22, Texas, 36, South
CarolinaT 21, Utah, 3, Virginia, 30, Vermont,
18 Nevada, 2 Delaware, 10, New Hampshire,
12 Idaho, 4 Illinois, 55, Indian Territory,
6, Indiana, 41, Maryland, 23.
Between 200 and 300 papers are giving
regular space to Sunshine reports and
The only light weight glove
that Is tough. Remains abso
lutely soft at all times Made
of California Napa Tan Buck.
$1.60 and $2.00 Pair.
100 other styles.
GAMOSSI GLOVE CO.
Insist on haying
on your table.
IT'S ABSOLUTELY PURE.
Henry Brs' Bye House
The most reliable Dyers and
Prench Dry Cleaners in the
in the city. New location
or- 1st Av. 8. & 7th St.
mmM lu ^imijr-
fieND t-otr/tii/sr/T/t rtt AodxLtr
Ju D. Campbell, 211 HennepiaA?
President, Mrs. Npble narrow, 816 Tweatr-Mk*
end avenue 8, Minneapolis
First Vice PresidentMrs. Grace W. Tubbfc
Second Vice PresidentMrs. 3. A. Brant. i
Third Vice PresidentMrs. H. A. Sprons. 1
Fourth Viee PresidentMrs. J. F. WilsonT I
Fifth Vioe PresidentMrs. E. W. Kinasley. I
Sixth Vice PresidentMrs. C. H. Fleming. i
BecretaxayMiss Corinne De Laittre. I
Treasurer, Miss Eva Blanchard. i
Corresponding SecretaryMrs. A. A. Belt**
OrganiserMiss Lillian M. Ellis. i
The seventh International annual con- news, according: to the report of Mrs Char
lotte Germaine Ayers, retiring chairman
of the press committee, which was read
by Mrs George Patrick. The value of
these published notices was emphasized
by the statement that a request in the
Ladies' Home Journal in Mrs Alden'a
Christmas letter brought over 20,000 re
plies The Sunshine Bulletin has in
creased its circulation from 4,200 to 13,000.
The methods of the different branches
as touched upon in the report of the sec
retary general were exceedingly interest
ing. Men as well as women have joined
the work and are busy scattering Sun
shine in many ways. Up-to-date methods
are resorted to in attempts to raise money
to carry on Sunshine work. Members
consider nothing menial, provided it is for
"Sunshine The newest and most novel
idea reported recently comes from a
branch of representative women in El
mira, N. who have obtained a contract
from a large railroad corporation to make
12,000 signal flags, the proceeds to go to
the Sunshine treasury.
Sunshine libraries have always been an
Important branch of the work, and they
are supported in almost every town of
any size in every state in the union, the
last one having been opened in Kerrvillet
Tex This was accomplished In a great
measure thru the efforts of general head
quarters, and in combination with It there
will be maintained a rest-room and head*
quarters for Sunshiners.
Two scholarships are maintained in
Alfred university, one in the Packard
Business college, New York, one In the
Goodrich School of Music, New York, and
one in the Master School of Music, Brook
lyn An effort will be made to increase
the number at Alfred university to 100
The kindergarten for blinded babies has
been removed from the few rooms in
which it struggled for existence to a home
of its own in Brooklyn, where the helpless
mites will have better accommodations.
The home has been regularly incorporated
and is assured of permanent help
The total revenue for five years, since
the incorporation of the society, has
amounted to $46,335 91, making a yearly
average of revenue $9,27119 Money do
nations, large and small, have been sent
in by 8,542 different persons and from 664
During twelve months $6,856 48 has been
expended in donations, where immediate
relief was needed. Wheel-chairs, wheel
couches, lifting-machines, crutches, wa
ter-beds, air-cushions and a thousand
other things were reported as having been
For filling empty stockings at Christ
mas time $4 580 59 has been expended, for
ice, milk and medicine for sick babies in
the summer, $2,797 67 fresh-air outings
for the sick $1,480 09
New York state has contributed the
most, the amount being $24,583 23 The
smallest amount for the five years came
from Alaska$8 19
For the whole five years the ratio for
expenses has averaged only 13 per cent,
showing that most all, of the work has
been donated, even the clerical services
being largely contributed, rent, gas and
porter's bill being the chief expense The
books show that 3 179 towns and villages
ha\e been interested in the work and
311,467 2-cent stamps were contributed to
assist in postage
Thursday evening there was a large and
brilliant reception at the Conservatory in
Niagara in honor of the visitors and Fri
day was devoted to pleasuring. In the
morning'Mrs Burton S Fletcher of Buf
falo gave a recital and it was followed at
noon by a luncheon In the afternoon
there was a president's council and in the
evening a dinner at the Imperial hotel
preceded a theater party at the Interna
Saturday there was a Sunshine picnic to
Olcott Beach. The entertainment of the
delegates and visitors was arranged by tha
Western New York division and the plans
were royally carried out.
TO ST. PAUL
We make one delivery each day te
St. Paul. Rates, 15c for any package.
The gentlemen's lonnging
room of the Burlington's
Chicago Limited is a feat
ure appreciated by every
man who enjoys reading,
smoking, conversation and
It affords the opportunity of getting
something to eat and everything fox
This electric-lighted Flyer
leaves Minneapolis 7:50
every evening, and arrives
Chicago 9 am.next morning.
F. MCELRO Y,
City Past. Agent*
New City Ticket Office.
Third St. cor. Nicollet A v.,
Both IN. W. M889
Phones 1 TwtaCtty.'.*.".*.'.. Sll