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m. 1w THE JOURNAL AGREATh PX \ht & VOLUME XXVmHO. 175. LUCIAN SWIFT, MANAOBB. m'ff- J. S. McLAIN, EDITOR. PUBLISHED EVERY DAY SUBSOEIPTION RATES BY MAIL. Daily and Sunday, per month 40 Daily only, per month 25 Sunday only, per month 15 *f BY OABBIEB OUTSIDE THE CITY. Daily and Sunday, one month 50 BY CARRIER IN MINNEAPOLIS AND SUBURBS. Daily and Sunday, one month 45 POSTAGE BATES OF SINGLE COPIES. Up to 18 pages 1 cent Up to 36 pages 2 cents Up to* 54 pages 3 cents Two Senate Amendments. WO important amendments to the rate bill, which were in the nature of additions to the measure, were made by the senate. One concerned the de claring of pipe lines to be common carriers. The other prohibited railroads from producing the mate rial which they haul, in competition with the ship pers on whom they depend for their revenue. The first amendment would bring the Standard Oil com pany within the jurisdiction of the interstate com merce commission better than any enactment which could be de\ised by congress. The Standard Oil company has been able to crush competition largely by the possession of pipe lines, which it claims are private concerns because it built them and has, therefore, the right to use them as it pleases. The prohibition against railroads competing with shippers is supposed to follow the principle laid down by the supreme court in the Chesapeake & Ohio eoal-carrymg case. It hits all of the coal-carrying roads which are practically in a consolidation. They are also in the business of producing coal. They have not been able to withstand the temptation to get their own coal on the market first, by allowing themselves a secret low rate, but more especially by allowing themselves a full complement of cars while the independent shipper waited. These two amendments will probably -occasion the greatest legal battle which the country has ever seen. They go to the very root of the attempt of congress to extend its jurisdiction over interstate carriers. When this litigation has been concluded it is the opinion of supporters of the broad con struction of the powers of congress that the legis lative branch of the government will have such a firm grip upon the transportation problem that the railroad organizations will be nothing but the repre sentatives of congress. They will be allowed to run the railroads and declare the dividends so long as they run them as congress thru the commission commands. A Washington correspondent figures the wealth of the senators at $343,000,000. No one but a trained newspaper man could have thrown this computation together and gotten it right to a dollar. Another Hill Vision. OLLIN E. SMITH, whose letter in Jour nal this week from Antwerp, presents an inter esting view of that rather quaint market, where so much business is done in old-fashioned ways. Mr. Smith's summary is unusually interesting, for it bears upon the commercial methods and possibilities of the third port of the world and the principal gateway to continental Europe, thru which great quantities of American breadstuffs pass every year, and doubly in teresting in that it comes at a time when attention is_ being drawn to tk diminishing importance of our country as an exporter of raw wneat. Mr. James J. Hill, who has a great plan for building new lines of railroad in the Canadian northwest, in his address to the business men of Winnipeg, touched upon the increasing home consumption of wheat. By 1910, Mr. Hill says, there will be 100,000,000 people in the United States. Home consumption, all requirements included, runs to about six and one-half bushels per capita. Our wheat area may increase, but is not likely to increase in proportion to our consumptive require ments. The time is close at hand when our country will fall out permanently from the list of wheat ex porting countries, and become an importer. This statement of Mr. Hill has aroused a general practical interest in the wheat problem. Everything bearing upon it is now being read. Mr. Smith's cov ering of the foreign markets, and Mr. Hill's predic tions of the future at home are alike of interest. Canada of the west is the coming wheat country. No one knows this better than Mr. Hill. He is evi dently getting in line for the future. In his Winnipeg conference he drew the best ideas from the most rep resentative men of Manitoba. It is to be observed that he did not go above the line for conference with out taking along a prominent Minneapolis miller, the better perhaps to have at hand every desirable bit of experience with reference to the industry. Minneapolis may as well face the conviction that the days of great American exports of surplus wheat are drawing to a close. We shall hear less of Canadian wheat underselling American wheat in Antwerp or Liverpool, for while the Canadian product may be offered abroad, the American competition will gradu ally cease. The change is being made, to the time when the supply of raw material for the great local industry will be first consideration. Minnesota and the Dakotas cannot be depended upon forever. Possi bilities on our side of the line are still great, but the day will come when western Canada will be the main source of wheat supply. v. There are barriers that exclude Minneapolis from free access to these rich fields, but they are artificial. What the future may have in store it is hard to say^ but there is little doubt that in the mind of the great railroad builder of the northwest the time is coming when closer trade relationship between Minne apolis and Winnipeg will be seen, when the wheat of western Canada, instead of going miles over land and sea, will find its quick and remunerative market just across the Canadian line to the south. The man with his legs crossed in the streetcar is again drawing attention to himself. Unfortunately w people go armed in the streetcars and he escapes. Scotchmen Leaving Scotland. tide of immigration into Canada from Britis ports is noted this season. It is esti mated that 2,000 people a week leave Glasgow for New York and St. Lawrence river ports. Up to date this season 20,000 people have left Glasgow for America equal to that of a moderate-sized Scotch county each year. It means, moreover, the draining off of the best part of the working people. The Canadian govern ment agent in London estimates the departure from Great Britain for Canada at not less than 4,000 a week. Obviously the emigrants are attracted by the pros- dominion by the conviction that there is nothing for them at home. Th elder brothers have the farms. The younger brothers must leave or remain as laborers. There is no land within the possibility of acquire ment at home. There is the chance Of owning broad acres in the new country and the Scotchman who is proverbially not a speculator takes the chance. It is after all only the chance between servitude abroad and servitude at home. The empire has viewed with tolerant equanimity the depopulation of Ireland. It has not seemed to care how many Irishmen left Ireland, apparently be lieving that the only good Irishman, from the British viewpoint, was the absent Irishman. But will it take as quiescent a view of the depopulation of Scotland! German physicians are now planning for g*M7k W&t twelve hours. This means day and night "shifts" Editorial Section. AS The Russian Douma. A MAKER of history the Russian douma bids fair to excel the record of the legislative assembly which the poor king was forced to summon on the eve of the French revolution. The siuation of the czar has points of similarity to that of the fated French monarch. did no^ call the douma until the rising tide of revolution taught him that the days of bureaucracy were over. He has not called it with any very specific idea of what he is to do with it. It seemed a convenient escape from chaos just as the RICHARD death penaltythat convenient weapon of the tyrant, i It turns out that there was no infernal machine under Governor Folk's lawn mower. It seems tor have been a scheme of the governor's to make his wife believe it would be unsafe for him to handle that mower. Direct Election of Senators. ECAUSE the primary has resulted in the choice to the senate of Jeff Davis in Arkansas and Robert L. Taylor in Tennessee it has been assumed that the more spectacular canvass and the more wierd candidacy prevails in .the direct selection of senators. But it is not necessary to admit, either, that the worse choice has been made in these c*ases, or'that these selections indicate a tendency. We are too far from the,facts in either case to decide. The people of those states had two candidates before them in each case and chose one. In Arkansas the people have appar ently chosen a demagog, but those who know Gov ernor Davis are inclined to believe he puts his worst side before the public. He is reputed to be a man of boundless energy. It is certain that he made many bad breaks in politics and that without a reform of his manners he will be an unpleasant figure in the senate. But the country is gradually accustoming itself to the thought that a few honest, rugged men, tho without grace of speech or suavity of manner, will do that body no harm. They may prove a tonic. Former Governor Taylor made a noisy campaign against Carmack. Presumably he carried his fiddle as he did in the gubernatorial canvass against his brother. But Governor Taylor is not likely to burn Rome be cause he plays a violin. He is not a Nero. Besides, Carmack was a hopeless "grouch," who did not fit in with the progressive south of the present day. He was out of step with the industrial procession*. The people of Tennessee parted with him officially as they have parted with the hatreds of the war period which he incessantly fanned. On the other hand, the senators from Alabama, Georgia and Virginia have been indorsed at the direct primary. It seems as capable of discriminating as the legislative plan. There is no cause to apologize for the direct primary in the results thus far obtained. Instead of being discouraged, the people would like to see it tried in ome typical northern states like New York, Pennsylvania and Ohio as it is going to be tried in Illinois. "Now, altogether, Chicago!" shouts the Journal of that city. What for? A riot or a drink? Diaz Has Builded Well. HERE is a strong undercurrent of hostility to President Diaz of Mexico among the old aris tocracy and the clergy, according to William E. Curtis, who is writing some letters from the southern republic to the Record-Herald. On the surface every body is for Diaz, and^the Mexicans are careful not to talk politics with foreigners, but the old Spanish traditions are still strong among the grandees, and they would be glad to return if they could to a monarchy. The Diaz government is not a monarchy in form, but in fact amounts to about the same thing. The difference is that the old aristocracy is not recognized, and therefore is not satisfied with the regime. Diaz rules absolutely, and by the results he has achieved in thirty years he has demonstrated that he knows what Mexico needs. The nation has emerged from political chaos and industrial paralysis to'a condition of stable government, efficienj protection for capital, and a growing industrial prosperity. The firm hand of Diaz is just what the nation has needed in such a period of transition. It is too late now for a reaction. After Diaz, it is hardly probable that another leader so sane and strong will be fo.und, but with the experience the nation has had it* should be able to continue peaceful. It may be hard to hold down the ebullitions of political rivalry, but the great commercial and industrial interests that have devel oped in the nation will not forfeit what they have won. They will not permit a return to the conditions of the days before Diaz. Is Mansfield Joking? MANSFIELD has been giving his ideas _.,__ _._ upon acting and upon living, in the Atlantic uu m wa auu meuuB cuuiuub^, ^u uuvDiw u +-~in and Canada. This means the loss of a population Monthly an finds them to be,, identical Taking scores ThJourna fo no bringing its corre A' J^f%Jo8 S, to pieces long ago, or rather would never have come to its present state if men had had no higher ideal than playing a part. If this is Mr. Mansfield's real idea of humanity it shows that he has been more a student of written'parts than of actual humanity. American as a pig, but as an angel. TJie attempt of the Massachusetts legislature to-stit exists, ^investigate itself threatens to be a dismal failure, flt^'* Henry James cajlfr Washington a city of _conver- \i0oi doctors, for there is no reason why a doctor* should sation, but does notgo so ^far as to sa^jr that" money* man wlio sjtreeps^nis f|f$ ottt' on' ISficollet \qv* 44w bare bis sl6ej? as well as anyone else ___ talks. ?nf after 7 a.m. m^f^^^wf^#^l'IMitlllti,ljl:lli CONGRESSMAN state's general seemed to Louis a buffer between draining lands in northern Minnesota, it is made himself and anarchy. Louis faiied to placate the national in its scope. people. Nicholas may succeed because conditions are different. The world has advanced. Education has made progress. Christianity is more real. But revo lution is not impossible. The douma has frankly pointed out to the czar the intolerable conditions under which the Russian people are working. It demands the abolition of the an of coercive and oppressive laws and of the detention system of taking water to, land that is too dry. The of persons without trial. It demands full civil liberty, requests the recognition of the trades unions, suggests the modification of the fundamental law to include responsibility of the ministry to the parliament. It apparently favors a single chamber legislature for it objects to the continuation of the council of the empire as a upper house and would have it reduced to an advisory board somewhat like the privy council of Great Britain, which includes all the men who are ministers, but which is in itself nothing but an orna ment to the state. The agrarian demands of the douma include the ex-propriation of lands. The forcible dispossession of many of the bloated landholders of Russia and the turning over of the lands to the peasantry for culti vation is necessary to the life of the state. It is a process similar to thejand acts for Ireland whereby the owners may be legally dispossessed against their will by a commission which, after hearing, fixes the value of the lands and awards title to* actual settlers who apply for portions of them. There is compensa tion, of course. Whether the Russian douma con templates buying out the landowners is not clear, but probably not, as there is not money enough, either in the public treasury or in the pockets of the peasants to do it. But there is moral justification for the dispossessing of many of the present holders who have with the land power to perpetuate a con dition of serfdom in Russia. The douma's program is a large one. It will not be put thru without many bitter conflicts, but the manner in which the douma has gone about its work is significant of the assurance that it has stated the minimum demands not of the douma merely, but of the people of Russia. W- THE Steenerson Bill Popular. "4$ ceeded in framing a federal drainage act which Under the terms of* the* bill firfSreceiplis from the sale of public lands in thirteen states, Alabama, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Ohio and Wisconsin, are to be turned "into a drainage fund, and spent under the authority of the reclamation service. The process of taking 'surplus water off the be handled in the same way as the present land will be sold to actual settlers only, in pieces of ^0 to 160 acres, and the cost of drainage will be paid by the purchaser in ten annual installments. Outside of the Indian reservations, about all the An enthusiastic corps of teleghaph editors are just yearning to "release" Elijah's biography. A Reasonable Requirement. S. EDWARDS, manufacturer of lighting fix tures, was .set upon on the streets of Chi cago Tuesday, and in broad* daylight, by a couple of sluggers and beaten nearly ^tp., death. Mr. Edwards is an employer whose employees are on a strike. He appears not only to have been* a liberal employer him self, but to have labored as a mediator between other employers and employees. The Chicago Tribune says: "If any man should have been immune from an attack of hired or voluntary thugs, it should have been he." The other day two men in the employ of one of the telephone companies, whose linemen are on a strike in this city, were set upon by a dozen or fifteen men and but for the arrival of the police one of them would probably have been killed. He was taken to the hospital, suffering from severe wounds. In both these cases the officers of the labor unions have been prompt to deny responsibility for these assaults. This denial is accepted, but it is not enough. In the case of the Chicago assault commercial organizations have promptly offered a large reward for the arrest and" conviction of the thugs "who committed the outrage in that city. The time has come when labor organizations have not done their full duty in merely disavowing responsibility for slugging done in their interest. It is up to them to take active and effective steps to bring the per petrators of suca. outrages to justice. The public expects, and has* a right to expect, that they will take this attitude and take it effectively. Not an officeholder*hasifesi city hall was declared iujp!sate&7 #7TT SENATOsR The railroad presidents should meet soon in gen eral assembly and try Dr. Stickney for heresy. Responsibility of the License Committee granting of saloon licenses is controlled by a standing committee of the council. That com mittee may reject any applications which it has reason to believe come from men who are not fit to conduct saloons and the general character of the men holding licenses is a matter for which the license committee is responsible. There was a time when that committee seemed to think it had to grant a license to anybody who ap plied, but it learned differently, as a result of some contests with regard to licenses by the Home Pro tective league and yet this committee is not nearly as careful, apparently, as it ought to be. There are men holding licenses in this town who have been inmates of state penitentiaries and men who have been refused licenses in other towns in this state which are not noted for their high moral tone. It is these licenses who are giving the police the most trouble in enforcing the Sunday closing law, exer cising the privileges which the license committee have conferred, apparently, without taking full con sideration of their disqualifications. Because The Journal's Washington corre spondent said that members of congress in the north west states hoped that, in spite of his ultra high tariff ideas, Mr. McCleary might be returned to congress for another term, owing to the position he occupies, on the wayps OJU-UIIHAX^,, amd i uuuo wrem u uo juouuvjai.. iOMUg XUe JUUraai xor Jiuit, unugiu ito ouiic-- .njQOgter ag DUlletf Shakspere's line, "All the world a stage and all the spondent and its editorial columns into closer har-^ men and women merely players," he goes on to the mony, "The Journal claiming not to be in sym-'* to be taken literally pathy with Mr. McCleary's high tariff ideas." As rather thin conclusion that it is that every man and woman plays a part in the world, to the latter, the Luverne Herald is correct, but what THE MINNEAPOLIS JOURNAt/ Sunday, May 26 1906. HALVOR STEENERSON has suV and means committee the Luvern Herald Every man, he says, who has made his mark ha$ chosen has that to do with reporting the fact that the*e is in She's a woman with a mission 'tis her heaven-born bis character, the character best adapted to himself congress a considerable Tsentiment and has played it, has clung to it and made his impress not wholly in sympathy with Mr. McCleary's tariff will please to understand, pect of land in the newly opened portions of the with it. This is to say, no man has been content to views that he ought to be returned to the jbousef'*''She's a model of propriety, a leader in society and Aiin* Their decision to move out is stimulated be himself but has selected a role in which he con- If such a. disposition exists, for which we are not ^\^bas a great variety of remedies at hand. ceived he would shine and which presumably would responsible, is it not The Journal's business 5 3 neve Jiide or obscure his weak points and has played it for to report it? Certainly .the Herald wouldn't have"^ the cure Of things morbific that vex the people all he was worth. Nothing more odious or hypocritical us lie about it or even "suppress it in the hope of /*j Sore could be suggested. Civilization would have goneo thereby aiding in Mr. McCleary's ^defeat. ,.There For the swift alleviation of the evils of the nation is to do that which are much more to j. Spain is so tickled over our taking the Philippines^-freely to secure the" election of their supporters." '%$* tricky, with his fingers soiled and sticky, is the that' her cartoonists no longer represent the typical .The Journl's Washingtonuscorrespondenservic N Pr'oletor W. M- Hajfe proposes to improve ttoe numan race. Work should be at once begun on the N- Defective Page ANDREW receives the unqualified support of Maxwell's Talis- undesirable task, but in favor of qtae which calls for man, the organ of forestry and, irrigation. The Steen* mor ingenuity and more capital. He will study the erson bill does not suit all of the irrigation boomers because it will divert some revenues now used on irrigation work to employ them in graining swamp lands and making them fit for agriculture. It must1 appeal to every reasonable man, however, for it is absolutely fair. While conceive^ for the purpose of 1 Mr."Carnegie swamp land in Minnesota belongs to the state under French in thirty months and German in thirty years, +v. loco V..J. n. i. AV _.iu_ -m i* ._ _- *._ a ._ t, ._. the granit of 1863, but it is worth nothin tilli it. i drained, and the state can do the work only on a small scale. With the aid of the federal fund the drainage of northern Minnesota would progress far more rapidly. The Steenersori bill provides for turn ing over state lands to the federal government when the latter desires to drain them, and for co-operation between federal and state drainage services. The provisions of this bill would not only help Minnesota, but would bring beneficent results to all the other states named. It is stated that even Illinois, rich and populous as it is from end to end, has 4,0000,000 acres of swamp land how unfit for culti vation. Florida and Louisiana have vast tracts that under drainage will become immensely productive of sugar cane, cotton, etc. The Steenerson bill should receive general support, and if it passes the Crookston man will have achieved a triumph in legislation. It would be a splendid boost for Minnesota in the state's efforts to turn swamps into farms. since the Chicago A Curious Man.,-\ TILLMAN is a peculiar personality. He enjoy a fight with a friend better than with a foe. Me j& apt to lose his temper when he* gets to abusing a foe but he can blackguard a friefcd and display a smiling face that would do credit to "Sunny Jim'' of fading memory. Tillman and Spooner are great friends and yet no two men scrap more on the floor of the senate than they. Chandler, an ex-senator, who has been the go-between in the conferences on the rate bill, helping Tillman to save his face and yet get into communication with the president, was chosen by Tillman because of old-time personal friend ship and yet Tillman and Chandler used to fight on the floor of the senate whenever there was an opportunity. It used to afford other senators some amusement to see these two opposites go out to lunch together after what seemed to be one of their bitterest conflicts of words, until they became accustomed to it. Tillman is said to have a charming frankness and' openness of nature by those who know hiin best, but it requires a close acquaintance to find it out. He described, nim self the other day as "a'rough man" and that's true enough, altho there is a suspicion that it is not alto gether artificial. Xarnegie and the Chinese Language. CARNEGIE, it is reported, has aban doned the reform of English spelling, not as an Chinese language, of course by the help of experts, and try to reduce it to a tongue which can be learned by other nations. The Chinese language has no alphabet. It consists of about 30,000 characters, which are fundamental. All one needs to do in order to know Chinese is to memorize these characters and learn what to do with them in a pinch. A Chinese printer does not stick type at a case. On the contrary, he gallops madly up and down a long hall, picking out the characters appropriate to the thought to be expressed. The Chinese number 400,000,000, and they are all supposed to know Chinese. As a matter of fact, the dialects of the country are so broken up there is prac tically no such thing as a Chinese language. The task has undertaken is to study the language with a view to seeing what may be done with it from the occidental standpoint. The present status of the tongue is a bar to fluent communication of Caucasians with the Mongolians. Mark ^Twain once said that with industry a man might learn English in thirty weeks, On the same basis Chinese might be learned in thirty centuries. Apparently 'this is an impracticable wait. The twentieth century wants to get in touch with China, to learn from China and to influence China. The fnatter of a fairly serviceable means of communication is important. Mr. Carnegie has recognized the problem and attacked it. The work is not only well worthy of the devotion to it of some of his wealth, but it is more dignified and of a broader scope than many of Mr. Carnegie's other efforts to benefit the world. It is said in extenuation of Chancellor Day's attack upon President Roosevelt, that one of his nephews who was in the government service has been disciplined or dropped because of getting into some kind of trouble, and that the chancellor is angry at the president for not acceding to his request for the reinstatement of the nephew. Oh, if that's the case, why the chancellor is excusable, of course. Premier Bannerman tried to quiet a group of London suffragists by telling them that he had no doubt their ambition would be realized in a few years. They expected him to say a few minutes and flew into a passion about it. Women will never make good voters until after they have voted several times. James I often expressed his wish that the neck "of that scoundrel Raleigh" had been wrung before he introduced tobacco into England. Now it appears that it was Sir Walter Raleigh who introduced the potato into Ireland, which tends to balance the ac count. When the Gaekwar of Baroda arrived in New York he wore a tweed suit, spoke English and had only one wife. As between Gaekwar and Gorky, give us the |hindoo. Won't somebody please sue Mr. Umpty Ump Sin clair for libel. He is just dying to swear to the number of copies of his book that have been sold. Mr. Bryan's determination not to do anything to secure the democratic nomination may be born of the knowledge that little needs to be done. THE ANGELTJS (Heard at the Mission Dolores, 1868.) Bells of the Past, whose long-forgotten music Still fills the wide expanse, Tinging the sober twilight of the Present With color of romance. I hear your call, and see the sun descending On rock and wave and sand, As down the coast the Mission voices blending Girdle the heathen land. Within the circle of your incantation No blight nor mildew falls Nor fierce unrest, nor lust, nor low ambition ,-n Passes those airy walls. 1 Borne on the swell of your long waves receding, I touch the farther Past I see the dying glow of Spanish glory, The sunset dream at last I Before me rise the dome-shaped Mission towers, The white Presidio The swart commander in his leathern jerkin, The priest in stole of snow. Once more I see Portala's cross uplifting, Above the setting sun And past the headland northward, slowly drifting The freighted galleon. O solemn bells! whose consecrated masses Recall the faith of old O tinking bells! that lulled with twilight music The spiritual fold! Your voices break and falter in the darkness Break, falter, and are still ^And veiled and mystic, like the Host descending, The sun sinks from the hill! Bret Harte. ATCHISON GLOBE LIGHTS About the proudest man on any paper is the base ball alitor. Some men think that if they have family prayers night and morning, that is enough. When giving advice to others, here is a small slice to serve yourself: Keep still more. Very few men can stand punishment. Give them a poke or two, and they will run like a cottontail for tall timber. Ever remark how poorly some Wise Men get along? They claim to know everything, but are never able to accomplish anything. Girls of 6 or 7 have girls of 16 or 17 bested. But we will admit that girls of 16 or 17 have the best of everybody else. You can always tell when a'yoiing man is in love: he becomes very anxious to make a great deal of money, in# order that the object of his affections may have Everything She Wants. There is* many a girl hanging'over the gate wait ing for a man to come along who is guilty of a greater waste of time than when she hung over the same gate as a child to see a circus parade gO by. Spring chickens. are again coming to town. And wve call attention to an injustice that is always prac ticed: Most of the spring chickens broughto to town ara ....i.... -Tf u** among members ambition to reform the world's condition, you rEacn are other ways to be approved. 4 Don't worry about The Journal correspondent using the news service of The Jonr^al to pro mote the private interest ''Of a man whojis believed to be in close touch with corporations that use money-* Her^eglected little Dicky, ragged, dirty, tough, and has '^d ita necessary yet to the news 1 ^JV" ^.SV fftfejoft The Journal otherLthan jto give the news as?, ~*f t**^L ,BEMABKABLE,OOW -1 'Cfi^L*?:^ 'UT Kansas City Star. This "for sale" advertisement appeared recently1*'-& in a Central Branch, Kan., paper: "Fullblooded cow for sale, giving milk, three tons of hay, a lot of St venue a.sovereign specific, with a title scientific, for her foreordained vocation shore. chickens And several stoves.'1 0 a reciu a HJS MOTHER AND DIOKY. on this sublunary And awhile thus she's up and coming, always hurrying and summing, and occasionally slumming, this reformer of renown, terror of the town. Tit-Bits. 1 Hoot Mon Attorney Whangdoodle was just leaving his office when I entered notebook in hand. The client had escaped some hours before. Colonel Whangdoodle was glad to see me even when I announced that my intention was to interview him upon broad or narrow court review. I am glad you have come," he said. *'I was thinking about court review just before you eame in. One of* my clients (as noted above Colonel Whang doodle has but one) recently recovered a verdict of $275 against a soulless corporation. It was a just verdict. In all my practice I never put in more work on a case (very likely not, this having been the colqnel's only case in thirty years). Never have I consulted more authorities nor briefed a cause with greater care. I knew when I got that case before a jury I should win. I did win. But what did the court do when the verdict was returned! His honor, without rhyme or reason, reviewed that verdict and cut it down to $225." "And so you lose your fee!" "No, not exactly that, but the outrageous conduct of a prejudiced and ignorant judge so emasculated the result of the jury's deliberation that, sir, there was nothing left for my poor client. What do you think of that for justice!" "What do you suggest, Colonel Whangdoodle, at a remedy for these evils in our judicial system!" I would have court review restricted, sir, re stricted, constricted, boa-constricted, sir I would have the judges limited to an inquiry whether a plaintiff got enough, and I would wipe away their arbitrary power to decide whether he got too much. Our courts, sir, are arrogating to themselves altogether too much power. They must be curbed, they must be dealt with by the legislature, they must be regulated they" But I could see that the colonel who had risen from his desk was about to assume his favorite jury pose with one hand the breast of his worn frock coat, so I hastily withdrew.* Apropos of earthquakes, the Boston Herald claims that they act as a tonic tho it does not recommend the brand of medicine for general consumption. "The dull routine is broken and the system gets a healthy shock." There seems to be something enlivening about the air one breathes and after it is over one experiences a sensation as of restored physical vigor, accompanied- by an unwonted lucidity of mind. After an earthquake shock, absent-minded men have been known to restore their social standing by a capacity to remember names and faces most marvelous and unexpected. People who borrow money are spurred to acknowledging the debt and almost to the very point of paying it. Women remember where they laid away the company pillow cases children have an accurate mental picture of the place where they last saw "dolly." Perhaps this after-earthquake effect accounts for the tenacity of purpose and the cheerfulness of San Francisco after the shock. A newspaper man writing to an eastern friend recently, said: "If you whimper now, you do it in a whisper. You'd be proud of what is left of your dear old San Francisco. She is full of people without homes, jobs or clothes she is the worst bunged-up town that ever was, but the spirit of her is enough to bring tears of pride to the eyes of an American." The letter goes on to tell how the newspaper men stuck to their posts attempting to get out an extra on the day of the quake. Beaten in this first by lack of power, then by the advancing flames, they retreated to Oakland to get out a com bined edition of all the morning papers. This par ticular newspaper man worked from Wednesday morn ing to Friday night without cessation. In eighty four hours he slept three, and when he did finally turn in exhausted he says: I had walked so much that my socks were stuck to my feet with blood." Probably this newspaper man was scarecly an exception to the rule, and very likely the newspaper men worked no harder nor more continuously than many others. They all gave evidence of the reserve energy that resides in a human being in an emergency. Speaking of sticking to your post, one of my earliest newspaper experiences was carrying election returns for the Pioneer Press. This was in the election of 1884, when Cleveland beat Blaine for president. I was sent to South Minneapolis to bring in two precincts. I arrived at the first polling booth at about 9 o'clock and found the judges laying out their work for the count. They thought they would finish about 3 o'clock. This was cheerful. Then I hiked to the other precinct and found they were likely to get thru at 5. Nothing to do but keep awake seven hours while names were called off in a droning voice. It was fine work. At 3 o'clock my first precinct seemed to be good for four hours more. The other was in even a more backward state. At 5 I visited the Pioneer Press office and reported the state of affairs to J. Newton Nind, ci$y editor. He was sitting behind a flat-topped desk in the center of the room looking the picture of dignity and calm. When I had made my report he said: "You know what you are to do and that is to go back to those precincts and bring them in, this morning, this afternoon, tomorrow morn ing or tomorrow afternoononly you are the man who has been hired by the Pioneer Press to bring them in." At 3 in the afternoon of Wednesday I arrived with the returns complete. Mr. Nind was still sitting behind that desk looking unruffled and serene. He remained there until the last returns were in and computed, about nine hours later, and then he walked home, not having slept or left his desk for thirty hours. This was the style of the old newspaper man. He must do things but he must not appear to be doing anything. An air of suppressed excitement about a newspaper office was all right provided it solemnly suppressed. But while solemn secrecy may have animated the mental equipment of J. Newton Nind in that election, there was another man in this city who made enougk noise to counterbalance the graveyard pall that en veloped the Pioneer Press. The noisy individual wai one H. L. Gordon, poet "lariat" and thundering orator. It happened that the colonel, who was some thing of a plunger on elections, had put rather more money on Blaine than he cared to part with in one lump. The sum was variously estimated at from $10,000 to $50,000. Whatever it was, the colonel was^ sorry he had bet it. But the colonel was a man of resources. He learned from the newspapers that the returns from New York were very close and that that state was pivotal. The whole city was in a ferment of excitement. Old line republicans did not like to acknowledge that the party had suffered a defeat. They were eager to hear from New York. Sympathizing with the anxiety, Colonel Gordon began to give them exclusive news. Telegram from the state republican chairman appeared positively claim ing the state for Blaine. Colonel Gordon drove about downtown making speeches from his carriage. The country was saved. The "party of rebellion" was not yet in the saddle. Blaine was elected and he would take his seat. Scrap Iron Bill, a local evangelist with a voice like the falling of great rocks from a mountain top, read the messages. The republicans were cheered, enlivened and so hopeful that they began to bet over again that Blaine was it. It turned out later that this was what the colonel was aiming at. His agents were among the people betting on Cleveland wherever they could pick up a dollar. By Wednesday night Colonel Gordon had "covered his shorts" and there was a sudden stoppage' of activity in the telegraph bffice. Cleveland waa elected but not at H. L. Gordon's expense. James Gray. MAKING A SUBE THING OF IT Philadelphia Record. Mrs. MugginsShe eloped with an octogenarian millionaire. Mrs. BugglnsEloped! Why didn't she wait and have a wedding! Mrs. MugginsShe wanted to, but you see ha, caught a severe cold and she was afraid to take any^|r i chances. 11 St i