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Newspaper Page Text
llif MR. ABSEN T. MI.VDK. j
Hf lie Is Reminded Again.
rvHAT Was t mar?)
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tjg: Cwas it Potato ? o? mrccKtj)
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R?iiho contrary?" '
KQ. "Why, even tho cllmato don t agree with him."
THE LAST APPEARANCE OF THE SUMMER GIRL. '
"Has ho money to burn?"
"Woll. ho owns three gasoline automobiles."
Tho Police Captain Why didn't you
tell the policeman on tho beat that you
woro robbed 7
The Victim I couldn't mako him stay
awake long enough to listen.
The Russian General Was Lieutenant
Rhunawayskl In tho van In yesterday's
Tho Russian Colonel No; no was In
tho baggage wagon.
ENOUGH TO MAKE HER SAD.
"She has such a snd face."
"If I had a faco llko hers, I'd be sad,
WOULDN'T DARE REFUSE HIM.
Fred Where Is tho best place for a
man to propose to a woman?
Bill In front of a soda water fountain.
She Docs he own any real estate?
He Yes; lots.
Wages I don't like our new preacher.
He talks too loud,
Wlggs What's that got to do with It?
Waggs Ho wakes mo up.
"Do you know of a suro cure for ln
somna. "Yes; get a Job on tho pollco force."
HE KNEW NOT.
"What Is tho luckiest day to bo born
"Couldnf say. I only tried one."
Miss Antique What Is tho proper tlmo
Miss Caustlquc Tho first tlmo you
s'Whore in the caddy?
"I married for money."
"Was thcro a woman attached to It?"
"Yes. and sho was so much attaohed
to it that sho has never parted with a
penny of It."
THERE ARB OTHERS.
"Was ho disappointed In lovo?"
"No; ho was disappointed In mar
riage.' AT ATLANTIC CITY.
"Thoy aay there's a fool born every
"It's a pity they don't dlo oft as rap
idly." Miss Chance Do you think there la
any muslo In Miss Screechcr7
Mr. Wise There must be. I haven't
heard any come out yet.
POP HAD AN AUTOMOBILE.
Tommy Say, pop. what's a pedes
trian? Pen Ho Is ono of those follows who Is
always kicking against automobiles.
Mary Anno Shuro an Ot lost ycr child,
Mrs. Nevpop Why didn't you speak
to a policeman?
Mary Anno Shuro an' thot'o Just how
Or lost th' child, mum.
Oldpop How did you sleep last night?
Ncwpop Between walks.
Tho Rube Here, boyl Whero's this about four hundred pcoplo found dead?1
Tho Newsle In do graveyard, boss! Extreol jH
THE KIND. j
First Wayfarer DIs Is do kind of a paper dat I likes tcr read. lufl
Second Wayfarer Why? Ml
First Wayfarer It ain't got any help wanted ads. in It. H
Customer Got any clean shlrt3? ' fll
Dealer Oh! yes, sir; yes, slrl Bfl
Customer Then why don't you .put ono on? SI
" ' ' ' ' B
TAKING NO CHANCES.
Cholly I cannot marrj' your daughter.
Her Father Why not?
Cholly She's atartlng to take boxing lessonv