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The Washington herald. (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, May 23, 1909, Literary Magazine Section - Third Part, Image 25

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LITERARY LIT ERA R Y MAG MAGAZINE MAGAZINETHE MAGAZINEffiITt A Z I N E
1 THE T ffiITt HE NEW KTtWT BABY t A DXT B By EDWIN EDWmIn L SA SABN J JAUHOR Ii
I AUHOR AU HOR1N OP Y WJJBN U11IN TUB KINO UOY AWOit LTC 1Ch 1ChIn
WU N YO U W R A DOY ETC
J In Which Mr Sabin Holds Up a Faithful Mirror to the New Papa
Announcement Extraordinary Iztraordinary t Arrived to Mr Mrand Mrund Mrand
and Mrs John Doe corner of Honeymoon Avenue Avenueand Aveuuoand
j and Scttlcdowu ttlcdowu Street the Most Wonderful Ever EverDAILY
1 DAILY FAMILY ADVOCATEI ADVOCATE ADVOCATE1HEJ
I 1HEJ II HID torrlblo suBponso BUHpon o was broken tho Hors Horslookot nurslooked
T looked In whore torn by 1 > > 1 warring hope aiu aiufear nnl to toboar
I fear fan 1 In nn agony nl ony of Bolfroproach solf repronch and yonrn yonrnin yornnInr yonrnInx
in Inr you paced restlessly about nl > out smiled and nnt book bookonod booJtonod bockQUodAlortly
QUodAlortly onod Alertly you followed her and nn on Llptoo tl ptoa on ontared emtQro
k tared tQro At Bight of von ou
tho doctor likewise likewisesmiled IIlcowlsfJamJlod Illcowisosntllod
smiled and gating up upat Ulnt upnt
nt you froin tho pillow pillowHho pillowho pillowshe
she ho too smiled smiledwhito smiledwhitoneed white whitefaoed whltoftood
need but happyeyed happyeyedYou hnppyoyodI
f I You hoard a squeaky squeakyory Sfluoultyory squoalcycry
ory and you woro worofurther worofurlhol worefurthor
further reassured reassuredIts lolulaUlodIIIta ronssutalIts
IIIta Its a boy dour daarBho dourHho datashe
she whispered UB you youloaned youlonnod youletlllot
loaned ovor a VOl cabal eagerly to tobohold tobohold tobehold
bohold beholdAnd boholdAnd boholdAnd
And no after thosowoolcs thoso thosewooks thosowaolts
wooks of sweet mutual mutualwondering mutuutwonltorlnlC mutualtivondorlttg
wondering tho question quotmtlon1id questionhad quoUonIlIul
had boon answered tho thodecision thodoolslon thedgolslon
decision announced announcedYou IUluounoodYou tnnnouneodYou
You wore both glad and andsorry undlorry andsorry
sorry willingly now nowwould nowt
t would you have had It Ita Itn ittm
a girl for fa l she wanteda wanted W1uto < l
a girl and hers had hadbeen hallhoon
been tho physical l > Hut suffering Hutfaring mCfarIng ¬
farIng But you OU trust trustad trustad trustod
ad that she would not notblame not1Iamo
blame 1 > lomo you for tho out outcome outoomo ¬
come Tho chances chanceshad ohuncoRhad chtuleoshad
had boon even ovon11I1d ovon11I1dthey ovenhadthey had hadthey
they not You were woroprepared W01OJloJulod werepIopnro1
prepared to plead your oUl
innocence in tho mat
A fine jlca
tor did occasion do domaud
Jnctn doctorbody doctor
oc ocbody
maud However every everybody ¬
body was seeming sat satisfied satIstlod satlsflod ¬
isfied and no one ap appoarod al 8p1oarod >
poarod 1 > oll1od tho least little bit inollncKl to reproach you youA youA ou ouA
A fine healthy boy doolarod tho doctor about aboutto uboutto aboutr
r to take his leave loavoIt Ion leaveIt VOl VOlIt
It certainly labl08s is blows its littlo heart concurred concurredtho conomlodtho concurredthe
tho nurse nurseIt nursoItIt
It ItIt it looks like you dear you stammorad stammoradetlll slllmmorosun starnnloradstill
etlll approhonsivo n > prohonRivo of hor disappointment disappointmentNo
No tho nurse says it is tho perfect imago oi oiits orits ofits
its father refused Him whoso soft hand clung to toyours tel3011S tiyours
yours as if Inviting praise imploring tomtdarnossAnd tenderness tendernessAnd tondOInos8And
And you accepted nccoI > toel tho compliment with mental mentalreservation montl11l080rvatlon mentalreservation
reservation Lying there beside Its mot mothor hor twas twasroddor twasrelldl1r twasredder
redder than you had 1U1 imagined that it might be bePerhaps boo booPorhllps hoPerhaps
Perhaps tho hue was heightened by contrast with withtho withtho withthe
tho shoots Its tiny face was contorted Into a athousand nthousnnd athousand
thousand roseleaf roso lonf crinkles and with its color colorand color1l11 colorand
and 1l11 its SQiioaklnoss and its utter helplessness hel > os8nBs it itmuch Itmuoh t tmach
much reminded you although you could not con confess conreBS confoss ¬
fess to such a thought of a pink now mouse mouseLL mouseWEUJL mnusoFELL
FELL LL well So you were partly responsible for forthis CorthIs forthis
this morsel wore you Twos of your flesh fleshnnd floahund fleshand
und hers I What a miracle had you two accomplish accomplished ¬
ed thus to present to tho world one of your kind kindthus ItlndUntB kindr
r thus to bo factors in the worlds development developmentto developmenttoprove OVOOH11ontto to toprove
1 prove yourselves so to speak Well von well wellAnd wollAnd wellAnd
And it was a n file boy Tho doctor said so and andtho nndtho andthe
tho nurse supported and they know 1m ow They had hadBeen halHoon hadsoon
Been other babies in this stage and coming direct directfrom dlroctfrom directfrom
from authority tho statement certainly was a sin sincere 81ncore slticore ¬
core tribute Yet you OU were not flattorod no noTwos noTwas noTwas
Twas only to be expected that this first baby babyshould bnbyshouM babyshould
should bo a wonder wondclthls this demonstration by you youand younnd youand
and hor in irresistible 11rQt3lstll > lo partnership o1tnoI8111 > No other re result 1eult resuit ¬
suit ult was to bo mentioned oven as a possibility possibilityEight possibilityEight Q8BlbtlltymIght
Eight pounds Pretty good weight that oh ohExactly ohJDxnoUy ohExactly
Exactly enough An ounce moro would have lIwe boon boonelephantine bool1olephantlno boonolophnntino
elephantine and an ounce lighter dwarfish Eight Eightpounds Eightpounds IgIt IgItpoundB
pounds was tho absolute standard of a perfectly perfectlyproportioned IJOrCoctlylrOportJoned perfectlyproportioned
proportioned baby and your baby bubyyoulS yours and hers herswas herswua liarswas
was eight pounds The Smiths baby however howeverwhat howoverwhnt howeverwhat
what else could have been anticipated weighed at atbirth atbirth atbirth
birth nine pounds and a half A monstrosity I And Andyet Andyet Andyot
yet the Smiths told it broadcast and appeared to tobo tobo tobe
bo elated Fancy Of course allowance must bo bomade bomade homalls
made for moro parent pride and their thou pretense did didthem didthom didthem
them honor honorIGHT honorE honorEIGHT
E EIGHT IGHT fa H pounds Did tho street car conductor rea rOillIze realizo
1 1170 as with important air you handed him a aquarter 0CIuartor aquarter
quarter and in your exuberance almost bade him hugkeep himkeep himleoop
keep tho change tho news dancing within your yourbreast yourbreast Ol1 Ol1breast
breast You would have liked to obtain his Judgment Judgmentupon judgmontlmOll
upon the weight of babies Ho probably was a n fam family raml1y famfy ¬
ily nitn mdn So woro you you would have him know knowr
r
C
You and ho wore brethren God bless him And Andtho AtHltho Andthe
tho others whom you encountered during that rosy
dayafter danftoldld did they appreciate t Tho family men menshould manshould menshould
should albeit that they naturally would be jealous jealousof
of tho fact which you had achieved As for the thobachelors
I bachelors poor devils dovllauh ah well you could afford affordto
I to bo lenient with thorn as with your 0111 rivals whoso whosoefforts whosooffoltu whoseofforts
efforts had failed so mluorably in comparison with withyours withourA withyours
yours yoursTho yourslho ourA
Tho world hold no nt enemies now Bless the theworld thowo theworld
world wo ld bless tho
veriest ait aitdoubtless dltolto ditchdigger ditchdiggerdoubtless < lgges lggesdoubtloss
doubtless a l family familyman famll famll1Ilnn familymean
man Babies aro bablotmwith ba babies hnbloawlth ¬
bies bloawlth with of course coursenow ooursonow coursenow
now and then ono who whosurpasses whoHUrUlHaea whosurpasses
surpasses Bless Jones Joneswho Jonosvho Joneswho
who owed you twenty
dollars but whoso whosohearty WhOROhourLy whosehearty
hearty Now arrival up upat upnt upat
at your house Is Isthoro Iathoro isthere
thoro 1 and slap sla lap > on ontho ontho onthe
tho shoulder absolved absolvedhim absolvedhim absolvedhire
him forever Ho might mighthavo mighthnvo mighthnvo
hnvo borrowod on a hundred hun hundred hllnhod ¬
dred more Bloas Dlo H every ¬
body who emboldened emboldenedyou emboldenodOU emboldenedyou
you OU to grin and flushand flush flushand flushnnd
and acknowledge that thatwhich thatwhich thatwhlcim
which you longed to toacknowledge toaclmowloaso 4oacknowloege
acknowledge acknowledgeBut aclmowloasoBut
But what a gelatin gelatinous gelatinous gelatinoils ¬
ous unsubstantial nu nucleus nuolous nuclops ¬
clops he was wasthis wasthisONLY wasthisONLY this thisONLY
ONLY baby Mary Maryseemed lInlyRoomod Marysoonmed
seemed to know how howto hmYto howto
to hold him o on by Intuitium in intuition IntuItion ¬
tuition she hanilodhim handled handledhim hundledhIm
him readily and deftly doftlyand deftlyand
and But
you ou required roCulrod much muchthy muchIthy l
boy the coaching and oven ovenintl ovonthon ovenhad
hud iadsaiU said > then having boon en entrusted
trusted you found foundyourself foundoUlsor foundyourself
yourself oUlsor glancing at athim nthim atlilmn
him with sudden mis ¬
giving from moment to moment to be sure that thatyou thatou thatyou
you ou had him l1 rlghtsldoup IIht81 1t sido < 10Ul up still Sp fragile was ho hoso hOt heso
so Jointloss and yielding twas a 0 marvel that ho
did < not break bronlq and yet ho remained Intact IntactVT3W IntaotNV intactN1
NV VT3W XN N1 OW Into play came all those dainty mysterious
things upon u > on which Mary had blushingly pen pensively IOnRIval i on onsively ¬
sively RIval shyly stitched in time months past How 11111she had hadshe hudKho
she foreseen apparently selfinstructed solf instructecl thoso no necessities nocossltlos nocossitlos ¬
cessities clearly enough to shape thorn thoml V But work ¬
ing with tho instinct of the nestbuilding bird she
had accumulated and storod to moot every emergency emer emergency omelgoncy ¬
gencyThis gency gencyThis goncy1hls
This was a 0 second unceasing ul1cea lng wonder of your yourpapahood yourIHlJIlhood yourpapa
papahood papa imood Mary in hor transformation ttnu sf 01111 Rtf on from from maid
to matron nlftrpn11lanunn matronMamma mil tr m mMnmmu
Mamma Mary rAnd l And you woro papa lJnJ > Jl Ayo A o as
Tones said a man never Is moro than half a man manuntil mUlluntil mornuntil
until ho Is a father Papa I There had boon bOOI1times beentines
times when the thought of fathership and its re responsibilities responsibilities responsibllities ¬
sponsibilities Its constrictions and added care had hadrepelled hudrepolled lintropollod
repelled But now when HE the woo urchin urchinstretched urchInstrotchod urchinstretched
stretched his arms toward you and you picked him
from his nest and enfolded him to your breast you yourealized youlcnJlzod yourealized
realized that a 0 vacant corner in your heart was wasbolng wasboing
being occupied and that to 1111 out your life HE I Ild had
boon tho missing essential essentialHo oBsentialHo essentialHo
Ho know you tho rascal Yes For at your yourhomecoming youIhomecoming yourhomecoming
homecoming ho would wouldindeed woulllIndoed wouldindeod
indeed stretch out his
arms And who for forsuch torBuch forsuch
such a L homecom homecoming homooomIng lmollle oom ooming ¬
ing would not bo a apapa npupn apapa
papa with nil tho ro roBponBlbilltios reBJ rosponsibilitios
BponBlbilltios BJ > DnldblllUos which the thotorm thetOlm theterm
term may Imply ImplyTho ImplyThe implyThu
The responsibilities responsibilitiesand
and cares ctUoJwhnt what are arothey urethoy1 arethoy
they thoy1 When Investi Investigated invostigated Investigated ¬
gated closely and made madean mudonn mutmdcan
an element in ones oneslife onoalifo oneslife
life they proved to bo bobut bobut bebut
but joys joysthe tho Joys Joyswhich joyswhloh joyswhich
which como from lov loving lovIng loving ¬
ing duty As for those thoseflatfooted thoaotlntrootod thoseflatfooted
flatfooted noctambula noctambulatlons noctumbulntlons noctanlbulations
tlons tho hoary but butovor butover butoval
over renewed jocular Jocularities joculnrlties jocularties ¬
ties of tho hardpushed hardpushedpennynllnor hnrdHlshedpennyalInor hardpushodpennyn
pennynllnor pennyn l1mor which whichnow whicHnow wlmic wlmicnow
now and then DID hap happen hit hitnon httppan > ¬
pen to bo required requiredthoy 1oJullodthoy rolulmoclthey
thoy woro nothing at atall ntaU atall
all certainly not be because blJonUBe because ¬
cause done d no for him him
1
Tho responsibilities and cares Pshaw I Moro M to
incidents Twos remarkable the number nl 111b 01 of now
Interests which attached to a baby offsetting
those cnres coresor or possibly popularising 1 > them The Thosterilisation Thesterilization rhostolflhmUon
sterilization of a bottle Is tho most absorbing titscientific tit ofscientific
scientific Ientlno endeavors and the temperature of its itscontents Itacontonta itscontents
contents Is much more Important than tho quota quotations Cuotatlons quotations ¬
tions of tho stock exchange While as for trans ¬
toting Ah goo goowell well no novel can equal And Andyet Audyot Andyet
yet onco moro you woro Ignorant upon Bitch mat matters matters mntmttern ¬
ters Aye you oit had not yet lived you nnd Mary
had not been truly ono onoURRAH onoH oneH
H URRAH Today you had been enriched by the thearrival thoarrival thearrival
arrival of him hImand and in your 0111 full manship munshl you yonmight youmight youmIght
might walk out with him while the world envied enviedHo envt enviedHo d dHo
Ho bore your name Twas a good name and
bore was a mnn manchild clmlld to perpetuate it During the thefirst thofirst tllofirst
first discussion following upon tho disclosure as asto asto asto
to whether tho name selected might bo masculine masculineor
or 01 feminine you had modestly modostl put aside tho humor humorin honprIn bOng1In
In favor of another name But Mary 11 u 1 had insist insisted Insl Insistud t tad ¬
ed and just to please hem you had accepted acceptedYOU nooontel1YOU acceptedYOU
YOU woro not pleased plouBodoh oh no I Not at all With Witha Vithn
a chuckle you speculated s spor > ooulotod ulatOd upon uI > on whether tho kidswould kids kidswould Idd Iddwould
would call HIM IIll Hon and Hank as once oncetho onqotho onqo oneothe
tho kids did you youHow youIlow ou ouHow
How ho grow I In growing ho Indicated as m mother in inosier n nothol
other ways his special class The phenomenon phenomenonof
of his losing his hair mh rather startled you because becauseyou boonuieyou becauseyou
you woro quite proud 1 > 1oud of that gift of hair which whichWAS whlahV whichWAS
WAS V AS hair The previous babies of your acquaint acquaintance ocqualntrmce acquainttumco ¬
ance had hair 11 n 11 of pale nondescript color whereas whereasthis whoroasthIs whorcasthis
this YOUR baby had at the very outset regular regulardecided regunrdocldod regulardecided
decided hairproof hair hnlrI proof > root of his virility Black hair hairby hafrby hairby
by gad gadDidnt gadDidnt I IDIdnt >
Didnt like old black hair explained mamma mammahis mammahIs mammalils
his Interpreter Wants patty golden hair he hedoes l ld008 hodoos
does doesBut d008But doosI3ut
But until you saw the pltty goldon hair com coming ¬
ing in and witnessed that it was superior to other othernitty othorIIpltty otherpatty
IIpltty patty golden gol on hair you woro worried worriedWhen worriedhen worriedWhen
When hen he was four months old he said papa papavery papavery 111 111vor
very vor plainly Mary declared that it was pupaand papa papaand PUPilnnd
and she must know You gallantly assorted that thatIt tl1ntIt thatt
It t was mamma but privately > you rather gloated gloatedIn
In tho fact that It WAS V AS yapn papa You told Jones Jonesabout JOll Jonesabout s snbout
about It and you told Smith you got small sat satisfaction satIsfaction satisfaction ¬
isfaction out of Smith who was of the jealous jealousnarrow Jealousnurlow jealousnarrow
narrow kind and persisted In talking about HIS HISbaby HISbnb HISbabya
baby bnb babya a very ordinary uninteresting child Twas Twasstrange Twasstrango Twasstrange
strange how blind ho was to tho unattractlvonoBB unattractlvonoBBof
of it but you politely endured until you wore en enabled enabled onablod ¬
abled adroitly to interrupt Int rru1 > t and with relief direct directhis directhlH directlria
his attention again to your baby who was the real realthing roalthIng realthing
thingYES thing thIngYES
YES that boy of yours 01U was n prodigious and un mmparalleled unluuaoled
paralleled conversationalist Evidently he had hadinherited h hasinhorited 1 1Inhellted
inherited the brlghtnoss of his fathord side of the thohouse th thhousealthough thelmousoalthough
house housealthough although you never claimed so in earn earnest earliost cantoat ¬
est However a father may cherish his personal personalopinion l porsonal porsonalopinion > erlonnl erlonnlopinIon
opinion Only Onl a vory littlo acumen was required requiredto required requiredto
to comprehend that the baby said many things thingsAh thingsAh thingsAlm
Ah goo meant yes yesAh yesAim es esAll
Ah 300 oo might moan no noAh noAIJ noAim
Ah goo on occasion meant drink drinkAh dllnleAh drinkAlm
Ah goo could ould also mann look lookAh IooleAh lookAim
Ah goo sometimes meant papa papaAh pupnuAll papaAlm
uAll Ah goo sometimes meant mamma mammaAh mammaAh mammaAlm
Ah goo sometimes meant granma granmaAh gmnmuAh grnnmmnAim
Ah goo sometimes meant Ugrnnpa UgrnnpaAh granpa granpaAh granpaAll
Ah goo signified rain
Ah goo was patty plttybird plUybIrd pattybird
bird
And all n the time ho howas howas howas
was Increasing his vo vocabulary vo vocabulary vocabulary ¬
cabulary cabularyWhat 1 1What lWhat
What lungs ho had hadAt hndAt hadAt
At first before you youhad
had learned to bo boproud bo11ou beprmmU
proud 11ou < 1 of those lungs lungsthpy hmH8thQY lungsthey
they affrighted you Ho Hoappoarod lIufil Huappeared
appeared fil > ol1retl to bo burst bursting burfltJng burtfng ¬
ing with mortal agony agonySurely agonySurely agonySurely
Surely ho never could couldlive couldUvo couldlive
live through such a aparoxysm u uJ aparoxysm
paroxysm J > n r 0 x y m Y Yolt Yoltblanched o u ublanched l lbJnnchoc1
blanched and stood stoodhelplessly stoodlolloaBly stoodhelplessly
helplessly by byWhat byWhnt byWhat
What IB tho matter mattordo matterdo mattetdp
do you think you do demanded domanded doin ¬
mandedOh in manded mandedOh anded andedOh
Oh nothingguess nothing nothInggue J Jguess
guess gue s hos Just cry crying QIyIng eeyIng ¬
ing answered Mary Marycalmly MAryoalmly Mgr Mgrcalmly
calmly mechanically mechanicallypatting mochllnlcolInnttlng mechanicgllypatting
patting him and coo cooing cool coo cooing ¬
l ing 1
Continued Condn ec1 on n pa pttfe p o B

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