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THE WASHINGTON HERALD, TUESDAY, APRIL 11, 1911.
THE WASHINGTON HERALD
1322 NEW YORK AVENUE N. W.
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TUESDAY, APRIL. 11, 1911.
The Washington Veterans.
Out of the 6,000 young men who vol
unteered in the civil war from the
District of Columbia, only a few remain.
Now they are gray-haired veterans, sur
vivors of a conflict which to the present
generation is a tradition.
It was an inspiration which led these
soldiers of 1861 to celebrate yesterday
the semi-centennial anniversary of their
cnh-tnicnt. It was also most appropriate
that President Taft and the District
Commissioners should unite in doing
them linnnr. Only those whose lives
have spanned the fifty years since the
call to arms can realize the excitement
and the anxiety which prevailed in the
National Capital during the first days of
the war. Here in Washington, along the
r:cr which marked the dividing line be
tween the North and the South, the
.ruation was most intense, for in this
cit the fact that the struggle was of
lir, .ther against brother appealed with
aVfcs;mg force. The prompt response
of the District citizens was a remarkable
demonstration of loyalty an evidence of
patriotism which has not been dimmed
Happily rejoicing in a united country,
and fortunately living long enough to
see the wonderful progress which has
come to Washington with the advancing
cars, thec volunteers of long ago gath-
.T-i j., fwiitnicrptit rr1lr3tinn TVipv
..I..VJ ii .... ......... i .. -..... .. .
di-servc the tributes willingly rendered
t" their patriotism and courage. They
set a splendid example in their youth,
and now they enjoy the respect and grati
tude of the city which is their home, and
which they would have given their lives j
Dr. i;ii"t says no man should rctiri
frr.m active work as long as he is ii
g.od health. Well, he ought to know.
While a civil pension list might
weaken ambition for advancement, as
well as the fostering of prudent habits,
it has a g wd deal in its favor. Secre
tary MacYcagh says that our enormous
i i war pension list is not a credit to
. and that "it never had a just basis, al
t.n I'gh a worthy motive gave it birth:
tKv t has lest its patriotic aspect and
lu become a political list, costing the
trviernnicnt about $160,000,000 a year."
ilc beliecs it "most important that an
other pension list should be established
r the civil employes of the govern
The Secretary argues that he is ham
pered in hi- efforts to promote economy
through efficiency, "because of lack of
a retiring list, and that the government
is losing money by paying salaries for
inefficiency, in place of having efficient
employes and a retiring list for those
whose efficiency has departed from long
and faithful service."
If disability is incurred from long
service in the necessary performance of
duty, there should he due recompense
on the part of the government, as in
private employment. In fact, private
business concerns hive begun to show
how this can be done with profit to the
employer as well as to the men affected.
Why should the government hesitate to
follow their example?
The spring poet's efforts this year have
Tom Loftin Johnson.
In the death of Tom Loftin Johnson
1 remarkable character has passed away.
His rise to fame and fvrttinc was not
unique. .Many men in this country hive .
Uartcd as poor hoys, have become great J
n tnc Dusmess world, have amassed tor
tineS All tnece thmrr; nhnenn ri.A I.,,:
A,, ., . .... I
.. .... ....- t..h. Jui'MJUII VU, IIUll
ill of them arc insignificant beside the
fact that his career was dominated by
tn ideal and that in the effort to secure
his ideal he sacrificed not only his for
mic, but life itself.
Above all things, Tom Johnson was a
:riend of the common people. He was
in advocate of the single tax because he
jelieved that a man who invested his
noncy in a home was deserving of more ;
:onsidcmtion than the man who waited
dly for his vacant property to increase
n value. He favored municipal owner
ihip because he believed that the city
tfhich the taxpayers supported should
jive the taxpayers the largest measure of
tomfort and convenience in return. He.
"ought for a 3-cent fare ujjon the city
ailroads because he believed that this
:um would afford cheaper transportation
'w the masses, while'giving the cbrpo-
ration a fair profit upon capital actually
This struggle, the greatest of his ca
reer, was in vain. Even when he con
trolled the traction system he was not
able to demonstrate his theory' a success.
No one can question, however, the cour
age and devotion which he displayed,
both in the preliminary battle and in the
effort to demonstrate the truth of his
convictions. No one can doubt, either,
that he was unselfish in his purpose and
that he willingly sacrificed all he had
in the desire to do something for his
fellow-men. His lengthy struggle, with
its incessant and worrisome litigation,
undermined his health, and death came
at a time when he should have been in
the prime of life.
It was through his efforts to benefit
his fellow-men that Tom Johnson be
came famous. For this cause his mem
orv lives after him.
Hair cf a different color from that of
the wife's is a rather delicate basis for
a divorce suit. Yet it has served its pur
pose well out in Kansas. They arc pro
gressive out there, sure enough!
An Excellent Dollar Investment.
We agree with the New York Sun,
that Senator Heyburn's bill to supply
the Congressional Record to subscribers
for $1 ought to be enacted into law. At
the same time we desire to defend our
morning contemporary" against the flip
pant and unappreciative tone which the
The Congressional Record is really a
most readable publication. When a tariff
bill is under discussion, its pages are
literally loaded down with a mass of
information. There arc not only statis
tics galore, but unknown and interesting
facts about ccry article which the
United States produces or manufac
tures. When, for instance, a score of
Senators spend an entire day discussing
the growth and importation of pineap
ples, or when they enlighten each other
about Japan's manufacture of celluloid,
the average citizen is sure to add to his
sum of knowledge. In the matter of
politics, too. the Congressional Record
is a vadc mccum, reviewing all the
hictorv of the nasr analvzintT the nrcs-
cnt, and indulging in glorious outbursts ,
.: .i. -- r.... ,- '
luini-wiuis u:c iuscjic miuii. .s
purveyor of obituary oratory it stands
without a rival. Prose and poetry till
its columns and quotations from evcrv
volume of classic lore are spread upon
It is a remarkable daily publication,
this same Congressional Record. The
pleasantry and the satire of debate, the
humor labeled by the insertion of the
word "applause," the retort courteous
and discourteous the scintillation of wit. I
the ponderous and philosophic essay all
these are recorded with stylic accuracy.
Sometimes there would be an imposition
upon the subscriber in the shape of a
lengthy "leave to print." but when so
much else of value is offered for Si
the long-winded effusions which arc
never delivered might even be endured.
It 'took Julia Ward Howe just fifty
ars to have her Greek play produced:
so don't be impatient, ye classic writers.
A Serious Situation in China.
Advices from Chim arc to the effect
that a serious situation has been caused
by the efforts of the Chinese government,
on the one hand, to suppress opium
production, while nothing is being done
by the English government, on the other
hand, further to restrict the importation
of the drug. China has widely prohib
ited the growth of the poppy, depriving its
own citizens of a very important source
of revenue. The reduction in the area
planted has been so great that the
price of foreign opium has risen ma
terially. The Chinese users of the drug
arc not only paying a heavier tax than
formerly, but they know that their
money is going into the pockets of those
who control the English trade.
It is this fact that gives the approach
ing Hague conference on the opium
question a most serious phase. Even
those who are most earnest in suppress
ing the opium traffic feci that China is
not being fairly dealt with, as long as
the importations continue in such large
quantities. Chinese officials frankly state
that unless Great Britain co-operates
with them they will be powerless further
to check the planting of opium and
that all the efforts which have been so
sincerely inaugurated arc likely to be of
no avail. The poor Chinese farmers
cannot understand why they should be
forbidden to raise the opium plant when
the product of the East Indian planta
tions is brought into China in large con
signments. The sympathy of the civilized world is
Willi vllliut lii 11- iiiiciiiiua, .11, u unit:
will be a universal hope that Great .
Britain will do its utmost to eradicate I
the blight which opium
upon the celestial empire.
has stamncd '
MhBtl it ntVU frt frtTlf-T nlTIM! H'N I
,,iv.i - ..... .-.. .--....n .....,
fall to see any difference between
old Mexican cabinet and the new.
The Mikado in Line.
The statement by Congressman Foster,
of the House Committee on Foreign Af-ithe
fairs, that, in addition to the arbitration
. , ,, . . , .
treaty with Great Britain, there arc stm-
ilar treaties under way. not
j France, but even with Japan, has come
in the nature of a surprise. This is the
first official statement that the Mikado's
government will fall into line. Not that
there has been any doubt about it. The
Japanese government his done every
thing in its power to demonstrate its
friendliness to the United Stales, and
in the matter of the new treaty affords
further evidence of its desire to con
tinue en the best of terms. So plain
has been that desire that it has. been
obvious th?t Japan would accept any
plan to which it could honorably resort
with a view to averting suspicion that it
entertained ulterior designs against this
Japan's trade relations with us and
her serious financial difficulties offer
every reason for amity with the United
States. It would mean much if Japan,
as well as England and France, could
be eliminated from the list of those na
tions with which there could be a pos
sibility of war. An unfortunate inherit
ance of pur war with Spain has been the
of jingoes who talk war and
preparedness for war. First, after the
Spanish war. it was Germany which was
aiming to take the Philippines from us,
to get a foothold in Venezuela, to set up
a German republic in Brazil. When this
talk subsided the Japanese peril was in
voked to take its place. Not even arbi
tration treaties will bring peace to those
who insist upon war. At the same time,
the conservative sense of the nation will
uphold the . President in his present
Solve the problem of automatic stability
tor aeroplanes, and the secret of safe
flight will no longer be a secret.
There is one thing about the. Socialist
party in Congress that will be the envy
of the others. "He" can hold a caucus
at any time and command a unanimous
vote on any question.
A man has returned voluntarily to the
Minnesota penitentiary, after having
been on parole a year. He says he was
homesick. That must be a model prison,
If we are to believe a man who claims
that he knows, there is neither a million
aire nor a pauper in North Dakota.
That would mean a veritable paradise.
Chicago boasts of one fact to disprove
the theory that the Western metropolis
is decadent. It has quite a number of
families with seven children and more.
Who is well enough posted in mathe
matics to solve this little prohlcm? If
the original cost of the Albany capitol
was estimated at $4.fti.0nn, and it cost
some $27,jo.ry without being finished en
tirely, what will be the ultimate cost of
I restoration upon an estimate of l.WW.
j Here is reciprocity with the lid off. A
, Connecticut man who had been appointed
Slat(v Pharmacy commissioner, it was a--
certained. is not an American citizen, but
a British snhiert- P.ov Rnlriwin uv it
. ' .
made no difference whether the
pointee was a citizen or not.
1 in Tin- Washmstm Herald. Ami P.
Coffeyville. Kans.. is not nearly a.s
attractive as Washington, and railroad
trains run East as well as West.
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
A Flt.VXK ADMISSION.
Art for arfs sake may hang:
I want my hire.
'Tis nit for joy I twang
The tuneful lyre.
I am no fine but fraved
I'm in the poetry trade
No chap can keep alive
On art itself.
A fellow must contrive
To gather pelf.
I want no loud applause.
Nor any bays;
I deal in verse because
She Wn a Slcht.
"Did you fall in love with your wife
at first sight?"
"Not r.n yoi
her sheath gowns were in style.''
"Are we making history?" inquired the
"What a question, general:"
"I ask It seriously. Are we making
history or just a few films for the mov
ing picture people?"
Trjr n Technicality.
"You have been living too high. You
have violated nature's laws, and must
pay the penalty."
"Oh. come now. Doc. Get out an In
junction or something."
Mpplng the Buds.
So they say.
Don't bring anything
Silent for Once.
"Did your wife jump on you when you
got home late last night?"
"No; for once I was in luck. The peo
ple in the flat next door were having a
spat, and my wife was busy listening."
A Legal Mind.
"No use whispering soft nothings to
that girl. She's a law student."
"How does that affect her case?"
"Well, she's prompt to detect the in
competent, the Irrelevant, and the Im
material." .Vothlnsr Serlonn.
"I see your wife had to be carried to
her carriage yesterday."
"Yes; she had to be carried."
"What does the doctor say?"
"Wc have no doctor. The dressmaker
says she made the gown a trifle too
Ending "Eauy Money."
Firm tfie New Yrrk Tia;c.
In the last year the Post-office De-
partment has run to earth and put out
f business over eighty get-rich-qulck
concerns, and these eignty concerns
fleeced the American public out of J100,-
OOO.COO. It is probable that the govern-
. ..nn nnnlmnlloVl fl PfMt rtAfl mnT
I but the work done by the postal de
j partment Is necessarily restricted to a
fraudulent iifagc of the mails. There
tare other pitfalls from which yoil must
- - ..
! To-day little advertising Is done and
sucker lists are almost always used.
I Tno mai,s are ,not usfd nca.rl; EO uch
'a formerly, and agents, sent from town
, to town, are the means of separating
the Innocent victim from his hoard. Men
01 pianamg ana respunsiuuuy ie nmuc
me of In many towns and they can
often be depended upon to help tleecc
their neighbors for a commission of -25
per cent. In many cases, however, triey
arc themselves the Innocent victims of
some master agent, who has been sent
to appoint them.
Simple Life In Xew York.
Frrm tbe Nnr Ymk Trlbrrar.
The fierce, unbridled horse car Is still a
menace to the peace and safety of the
metropolitan dweller. The spectacle of
one of those archaic chariots running
amuck through the streets' of New York
Is enough to cause the stoutest heart to
HE FLOORED THE LAWYER.
Former Got the Beat of Argument,
Which Counsel Believed Won.
From Loudon Tit-Bite.
A case was being tried In a country
court. A horse had been stolen from a
field, and the evidence all pointed to a
certain doubtful character of the neigh
borhood as the culprit. Though his gilt
seemed clear, he had found a lawyer to
undertake his defense. At the trial the
defendant's counsel expended his energy
in trying to confuse and frighten the
opposing witnesses, especially a certain
farmer, whose testimony was particu-
' larly damaging. The lawyer kept up a
fire of questions, asking many foolish
ones and repeating himself again and
again, In the hope of decoying the wit
ness Into a contradiction.
"You say,' the lawyer went on. "that
you can swear to having seen this man
drive a horse past your farm on the day
"I can," replied the witness, wearily,
for he had already answered the ques
tion a dozen times.
"What time was this?"
"I told you It was about the middle
of the forenoon."
"But I don't want any 'abouts' or any
middles': I want you to tell the jury
exactly the time."
"Why." said the farmer, "I don't al
ways carry a gold watch with me when
I'm digging potatoes."
"But you have a clock in the house,
haven't you?" '
"Well, what time was it by that?"
"Well, by that clock Is was just nine
teen minutes past 10."
"You were in the field all the morn
ing?" went on the lawyer, smiling sug
gestively. "I was."
"How far from the house is this field?"
"About half a mile."
"You swear, do you, that by the clock
in your house It was exactly nineteen
minutes past 10?"
The lawyer paused and looked tri
umphantly at the jury. At last he had
entrapped the witness Into a contradic
tory statement that would greatly weaken
"I think that vill do." he said, with a
wave of hii hand; "I have quite finished
The farmer leisurely picked up ills hat
and started to leave the witness box.
"I ought, perhaps, to say." he added,
"that too much reliance should not be
pUced upon that clock, as It got out of
gear about six months ago. and it's been
nineteen minutes past 1" ever since."
THE SIGNATURE EXPERT.
I. earn to lte:nr inticr n Hon)
.-.,00 on riiprkK.
Prnrn Harrr's WYetl.
A number of the larger banking institution.--
employ from one to half a dozen
men whoso solo ut L. to cM.mine every
1 heck that conies In through tile ik.uin-r
ho'ise and vouch for the genuineness of
the signatures. To the ordinary litizen
it sems nothing short of marvelous that
a signature lerk will instantly recogniz
the .-lhrhtcu alteration in a signatur-.
with thousands- uf check' passing througn
his hands each da v. m.in of them dr.iwn
by depositors v. ho sign but a few checks
in the course of a year, but an expert
sirrnattirr clerk can m-rv i. hi mii.il
accurate photographs of J.fOrt or mor
signatures and rarely has to refer ti
the signature book. When not engag-d
with the incoming hecks the sigr.at;ir-
expert spends 111s time in familiarizing j
himself with the signatures of new cus- 1
1 tomei-s. There is no room for uncer- 1
tainty In his business. In proport.on to
th? number of checks paid by a largo
hank every business day the smallness
of the number of bad ones that slip
through is nothing short of marvelous.
Itefurnilnc Mntc Prlnonn.
Within ten years the elimination of
every extraneous influence in the admin
istation of the State prisons of New
York, together with the Introduction of
scholastic and Industrial training, has custom, the loyal inhabitants of Denby
produced an almost complete change In j Dale doubtless will prepare a monster
the interior routine. A well-fitting gray ! pie In celebration of King George's coro
uniform Has been substituted for the con-! nation. That made on the occasion of
vlct's former striped suit, and the mill-1 Queen Victoria's jubilee was S feet in
tary step has replaced the lockstep. His I diameter. 2 feet In depth, and upward of
hair is trimmed neatly with shears, in- - tons in weight. It was on a dish
stead of being cut close to the scalp weighing 1,.V) pounds, and was drawn
with clippers. Crockery has replaced the j by ten horses.
old tin cups and pans in the prisons of I The little town of Wye near Ashford,
the tate. An oculist and a dentist look ' '", Krnt- dccid,,,d ,0, commemorate the late
.... , .. . .. , .. , ! King s coronation In an original and per-
after the ees and the teeth of the pris- ,, ,,... T ,K ,u.Vii, ,,....
manent way. in tnc cnaik on ye
oners. An electric light in each cell has . Downs It was resolved to dig a huge de
replaced the old tallow candles. Infrac- I sign of a crown, on lines similar to the
tion of rules In the New York prisons to- 1
day merely con
nslgns the convict to soli-
nt until he reaches a nor-
. ,j,,, ij 1 -iifi. Li. me same occasion irom io.imj to L-u,n
mal cindition of mind and signifies his .
.... .,, ,,,,, bonfires were arranged, one of the highest
willingness to conform to discipline. The,beinR on he Rlchrnond Beacon, ,n York.
paddle, the rack, the ducking stool, and shlre. At each bonfire fifty rockets were
all other forms of corporal punishment to he sent off simultaneously, or 750,000 to
have been abolished in New York's penal
Thr Salt In the Sen.
From Ilarpcr'n Majaiinc.
The sea, as all the world knows. Is
salt. It is salted where strong dry winds
blow across the surface, as, for In
stance. In the trade-wind regions and In
the Mediterranean and the Red Sea. It
Is less salt toward the poles and in the
deeper layers of the ocean. It has long
been known that the very salt water of
the Mediterranean flows as an under
current outward through the Strait of
Gibraltar, and thus affects the salinity of
the deeper waters of the Atlantic over
a wide area. Although the amount of
salt In sea water varies, the composi
tion of sea salts remains very constant:
slight differences have, however, been
noticed along the continental coasts. In
the polar regions, and In the deep water
in direct contact with deep-sea deposits.
Font TrulnB'1n Europe.
From the Scientific American.
Express speed In Great Britain and on
the Continent Is high. In Great Britain
there are eleven daily express trains
making runs of from to 118 3-S miles
without a stop, whose average speed Is
from 51 to 5D.2 miles an hpur. The
fastest and longest nonstop run is 225 3-4
miles, frop Paddlngton to Plymouth,
made at 5J.S miles an hour. France has
seven dally expresses that run from
77 3-1 to 147 1-2 miles without a stop at
speeds of from 51.1 to Gl.S miles an hour,
and there are .nine French trains that
run from 102 to 147 '3-4 miles without
stop at speeds of from 50.4 to 59.3 miles
It In Characteristic.
From the Chicxfc Record-Herald.
People pay CTlOOO.OCO for a State house
and then let It burn down because a few
wires are not properly covered. It seems
careless, doesn't It?
Sot a. Valuable Habit.
From the Atchison Globe
A man who does exactly what he Is
paid for, and no more. Is never apt to
be 'paid a largo salary for what' tis
HOSTS AND HOSTESSES
AT THE CORONATION
The selection of John Hays Hammond
as the special representative of the
United States at the coronation has
given great satisfaction. He Is an Im
mensely popular man, an Ideal host, and
a great sportsman. While In London
Mr. Hammond will stay at 1 Strat
ton street, the old Piccadilly home of
the late Baroness Burdett-Coutts, where j
the present Queen frequently stayed as I
a child, the baroness being a personal
friend of her mother, the late Duches3
Besides the marvelous collection of
Queen Anne and Early Georgian silver,
there is a vast quantity of very valuable
china at 1 Stratton street. If Mr.
Hammond chooses to entertain on an
extensive scale he will be able to cover
the luge dinner table with Flaxman
silver, or he can make use of a service
of gold with blcakers and goblets of ex
quisite workmanship. In the gallery is
Sir Joshua Reynolds' favorite chair,
while on the walls hang many pictures
by this famous painter. The precious
"Winged Victory" from Yanina, show
ing the wonderful gold work of the
Greeks with the chisel .000 years ago;
first folio Shakespeare. Raeburn pic
tures of Scott and the Mulgravc picture
of Pitt, painted In the year of his death
by Hoppner, are a few of the other
treasures of which Mr. Hammond will
be the temporary guardian. It Is said
that he will pay JMMmO a week for the
use of the house during the six weeks of
It is expected that there will be a
brilliant coronation entertainment at
Dorchester House, and that the Ameri
can Ambassador and Mrs. Whitclatc
Keid's royal guests will include the
kings and queens of England, Spain,
Among the vast army of Americans
who are to visit London for the corona
tion will be many multimillionaires,
some of w horn already have secured
West End houses or flats in the chief
hotels, one peer has refused an Amer
ican offer of tiC.Cvu for the use of his
residence for six weeks. Another Amer
ican has offered Jvl.OnO for the tenancy of
a house in Hill street during May. June,
!and Jul. but the owner refused to take
Irss than $l.i0.
Mrs. William 1-eeds. Mrs. Potter Pai
I mer, and Mrs. Goelet. American widows
I possessing vast wealth, will be important
I hostesses this year. All these ladies
have entertained royalty in the person
I of King Edward, or the Kaiser, while
1 yachting in Southern seas. Mrs. Ieeds
I has sec ured a lease of Mrs. George
I Keppels tine house in Grosvenor street.
I Mrs. J. J. Astor is in search of a new
.London house. a her occupancy ot 1.
! tn-.an square is soon to terminate.
, 1 lie private residence of the prime
1 minister, 4J Cavendish square, always
I greatly coveted by reason of its splen
j did reception rooms, old mahogony stair
! case, and walls painted by Sir John
'Thomhtll. two centuries ago, has been
secured hv l--i.lv Cunard. an Anglo-
I American hestess of great prominence.
A Lancashire lady already has an
nounced her Intention ol presenting a
bright, new sovereign to every child
born in her parish on ccroriation day.
This is going one better than the clerk
.f the parish council of Moulton. near
NorthwHh. on the occn; ion of the coro
nation of King Edward. His present to
; every Infant ushered into the world in
' his parish on that day was a beautiful
At Marshfield. in Gloucestershire, the
babies had a field da. the great feature
of which was a procession in pcrambu-lMor-
At Walworth a coronation baby
show was arranged, with a Iondon hos
pital doctor as judse and prizes for the
l' st fed and best cloth--J. There was a
rush of coronation weddings at Rye.
here the vicar issued a notice
t;,at axiTmi: the coronation month the
Marriage o-remony would be performed
without payment of the usual fees.
A qucer-minuen lnoiviouai ai r.imnam,
Norfolk, had the tcmer.ty to suggest
that a portion of the coronation celebra
tion fund should be used for the pur
chase of a public hearse for the parish.
Tne proposition met with unanimous re
jection. In accordance with long-established
famous "white horses" of Berkshire and
the North Riding of Yorkshire, which
w-ould be visible for many miles. On the
l.Cno.OOfl in all.
St. Paul's Cathedral has been the scene
of some wonderful performances at va
rious coronations. When King Kdward
VI was crowned a marvelous exhibition
was given from its battlements by an
agile Arragosan. He descended upon a
rope, which was secured to an anchor at
the gate of the Dean's house. Then he
walked up the rope again and performed
"certaine mlstcrycs on the said rope, to
the great wonder of the assembled multi
tude and the no less delight of the
A very Interesting young fellow Is the
Maharajah of Patlala, who is captaining
the team of Indian cricketers which Is to
play In England during the summer. A
tall, fine-looking youth of twenty, he Is
a noted sportsman and a first-rate
cricketer. Indeed, he Is known among
Anglo-Indians as "Ranji the Second."
He has a great career before him, with
endless posslbillts for good or evil, for,
as the head of the Punjab chiefs, he rules
over more than a million and a half of
According to one authority, he bears
the troublesome-looking style and title
of "His Highness Furzand-I-Klas-i-Dau-let-l-Ingllsha
Urara Maharaja-ThlraJ, Rajeshwer-Srl
Maharaja...RaJaBon Briuplndor Singh
Mahindra Buhadur. Another authority.
inspired by a wholesale sense of brevity.
prefers to call him BUnpendra Singh
but doubtless England will get at the
truth of the matter when the team ar
rives next May.
It Is more to the point, perhaps, as far
as his present mission Is concerned, that
he holds the record of having secured
twenty-one runs in eight minutes against
the Bombay Parsees, while his stable has
won the biggest sporting trophy in India,
the Viceroy's Cup.
His princely family were conspicuous
for their loyalty during the trying times
ot the muntlny. His state of Patlala Is
the most Important of all the Sikh states,
covering an area of 5,500 square miles.
(CcOTTfcht, 1311, by MeClm-e Newpapcr S judicata.)
Search for Ax-allables,
From the Atlanta Constitution.
Long and fruitless has been Mr.
Bryan's search for "available candi
dates," and he may have to meet him
self coming- back' on that same road.
THE DIARY OF A JOKE.
Life of a Laugh Creator, as Seen
from BrltUli Viewpoint.
From London Tit-Bits.
I am born. My creator chuckles, slaps
himself on the knee, roars, and calls his
Am read to the author's wife. She
smiles, kisses him, and wants to know
how much he thinks I will bring.
I start on a Journey. Am read by an
editor. He laughs, and reads me to the
My creator gets a check and more kisses
frcm his wife.
I appear In print. Thousands read me
and laugh over me. The editor gets
many new subscribers.
Reader tells me on the street and gets
a cigar. Tells me again and Is Invited
out to lunch.
Newspaper copies me and also gets new
subscribers. Comedian -cracks me on stage in a
music hall turn and makes a hit.
Politician uses me in speech, claiming
I happened back In his boyhood, and gets
Lecturer uses me on platform and gets
Minister works me in sermon for illus
tration and gets call to other town with
jAm worked to death. Everybody every
where uses me, in season and out of sea
son. I become a chestnut. A new gen- j
eration comes on. and I am forgotten.
Fifty years pass by. I am resurrected
from an attic. Am cut out and started
on another journey.
ITALIAN POLICE METHOD.
Americana Con lit l.rnrn by Study of
Frrm the New York Timn.
Strange as may seem to us the proce
dure followed in the trial of the members
ot the ("amorra at Viterbo. it becomes
daily more evident that the evidence
against the prisoners has been collected
with care and intelligence, as well as
with wonderful patience.
Our own police could learn something
from the way in which the carabiniere
obtained possession of the ring taken
from the murdered Cuoccolo's finger and
turned over to the man who had de
manded his death. They did not content
themselves with going to the place where
they had heard it was and with taking
possession of it. That would have given
plausibility to tho easy accusation of a
"plant." Instead, they compelled friends
of the suspect to do the searching and
the finding, and then to make signed
declaration of the exact circumstances
ii which the discovery t-ok place.
Itciclmtng Pnno Hill for Cirndual
Iiicrenne of Army.
Krcrc the Boston tilot.
Germany, long the conspicuous exem
plar of militarism, shows no sign of
changing or ab.iting its policy in this re
spect. A bill has re ently passed the
Reichstag providing for a gradual annual
increase in the army for the next live
years. The measure was passed by a
vote of 217 to C, showing that the senti
ment of the country is in substantial
agreement with the movement for a
The peace strength of German army
is now 620.CCO men. being exceeded only
by Russia, which pretends to have nearly
double that strength. France ranks
third with tifrt.GOO, and Japan comes fourth
with 450.OX men is active service, nearly
twice as many as Great Britain.
Germany apparently feels that her
army Is insufhi-ient and so has provided
for a gradual increase in its size. This
is significant in these times of piping
peace, and doubly hard to understand as
Germany Is menaced by no threatened
war, Germany apparently has reversed
the old saying and reads it thus: Fore
armed Is forewarned.
Frrm the IudianaiolU S5;ar.
Senator John Kern, of Indiana, tells
this story about his late predecessor, the
late Senator Dan Voorhees:
"Voorhecs frequently made the claim
that- more Democrats than Republicans
had been enrolled from Indiana In the
I'nion army during the civil war. On
one occasion he made the assertion in
connection wth a speech In Sullivan
"1 guess anybody will admit that con
siderably more than half the people who
went into the I'nion army from Sulli
van County were Demociats." he de
clared, with empiiasis.
A Democrat down in one of the front
row had taken a drink or two before he
came to the meeting, and he confirmed
"Yes: It's true." he shouted. "Gol darn
It, they drafted us!"
Survive. the Treatment.
Frrm the Atlanta Corstitutiin.
Woodrow Wilson Is doing as well as
could be expected since several friends
nominate, him for President.
Real Golf Kntlia.Mrmt.
From the Atlanta Journal.
Our Idea of a golf enthusiast Is one
who plays it right on through the base
CURIOUS BITS OF HISTORY
Br A. IV. MACY.
THE GREAT CAT HOAX.
Every generation has Its prac
tical jokers. In the year 1S15.
shortly before the departure of
Napoleon for St. Helena, some
person in the city of Chester,
England, caused hundreds of
handbills to be scattered through
out the city announcing that the
Island of St. Helena was overrun
with rats, and that an Immense
number of cats were wanted to
exterminate them. Those having
cats for sale were advised to be
on hand with them at a certain
place on a certain day. Sixteen
shillings would be paid for each
full-grown tomcat, ten shillings
for each full-grown tabby, and
two shillings sixpence for each
kitten that could feed Itself. The
result was astonishing. On the
appointed day the city was liter
ally crowded with people carrying
cats; men. women, and children
from the surrounding country. A
riot ensued, and about 1,000 cats
were killed. Tho rest got away,
and for a long time afterward tho
city and surrounding country was
infested with cats of all kinds,
breeds, and descriptions. The
perpetrator of the hoax wisely
kept in the background.
(Gopjrisbt, 1911. by Joaepc B. Bowles.)
To-morrow "A Alb la o King
GOSSIP OF THE
George Wegenast, managing director
of the Mutual Life Assurance Company
of Canada, residing at Waterloo, Canada,
accompanied by -Mrs. Wagcnast, Is at
the Shorcham. They have just returned
from a pleasure trip to the Bahama
Islands, which, they said, aro seeking
annexation to Canada.
Speaking of the prevailing sentiment
in Canada with regard to recoproclty,
Mr. "Wegenast said: "The feeling Is
just about equally dlvded. It is largely
a political question, and It Is therefore
but natural that the Conservatives
should oppose the Liberal party, which Is
In power, and which will put through
the agreement. The Conservatives argue
that reciprocity is merely the first step
in a movement which will probably ex
pand into free trade between tho two
countries. The Liberal government has
a big majority in Parliament, and will
have no trouble ratifying -tho agreement.
"There is no thought In Canada of
joining the political Union of the United
States. Annexation has never been an
issue of any great consequence, except
in the border towns, where Americans
predominate. Canada will always re
main part and parcel of the British em
pire. We are loyal to the mother coun
try, and we are building a navy in order
to be of assistance to England should
"Business in Canada is very good, es
pecially in Western Canada, and thou
sands of Americans are settling In our
country to seek their fortunes."
Moving: Picture an Kducntion.
"No man can really appreciate the great
sen-ices moving pictures are rendering in
the course of education among tho poor
mountaineers and farmers of the South
ern States." said Donald M. Foster, ot
Trenton, N. J., who was seen at the New
Willard, and who had just returned from
an extensive business trip in the South.
"For a small admission -fee of 5 cents
the mountaineer or farmer down South,
and everywhere else, is shown foreign
scenes and peoples, their mode ot living
and their customs. To have the lessen
brought before one's eyes is much more
effective than merely reading from a
"About two weeks ago I visited Chatta
nooga on business. There had been a
constant rainfall for days, and the streets
were unler a foot of water. Trains were
late, and business was practically at a
standstill. The moving-picture houses
had placards out saying that inasmuch
as the new films had not arrived on ac
count of the flood, yesterday's pictures
would be shown, free of charge. It goes
without saying that the announcement
drew crowded houses.
"In Philadelphia the movlng-plctu'e
houses are made use of during lunrh
hours by big business men and finan
ciers, who buy an apple, a piece of pie,
or a sandwich, and munch them while
taking in the films."
Berlin a Model Town.
Rev. A. Eugene Bartlett. of Chicago,
who recently made a tour of Europe,
was seen at the Arlington. He said
that Berlin had outstripped Paris and
London, and that in many respects it
"Berlin is the Chicago of Europe,"
said Rev. Mr. Bartlett. "In many ways
it has surpassed us; yet Chicago has
finer stores and more and better play
grounds for its children. Berlin is a
more beautiful city than Chicago and
has a more intelligent conception of
beauty as developed in a city center
and radiating out from there to all
points of the municipality. Our thought
of a beautiful city seems to be limitod
to a big civic center and boulevards and
"Berlin has realized that extensivo
beauty is necessary, and lawns and
flower gardens border the streets, not
only along the lines of the boulevards,
but in many different sections of the
city. Statuary and fountains are not con
fined to central squares, but are scat
tered with lavish hand throughout the
city. Berlin understands that a beauti
ful city is one In which all sections fit
harmoniously into one perfect whole.
"Berlin has comfort stations, while we.
to our discredit, sadly neglect these hu
mane public necessities. Berlin has a
line of auto-buses that make a circuit
of the boulevards. These buses relieve
In part the congestion of subways and
elevated and surface cars, but, better
still, afford the common people a chance
to see their own boulevards and parks.
Berlin knows how- to keep the city clean
and does it. Relief agencies are thorough
ly organized In 250 districts, and more
than 2.500 citizens are doing volunteer
American Money Mnnia.
That America and Americans are in
the clutches of money mania, insanely
strivlng for gold and finding recreation
In degenerate luxury such as that which
marked the early Roman empire. Is the
opinion of Dr. W. W. Wilson, of New
York, who was seen at the New Eb
bitt. "Statistics show that the percentage
of insanity Is increasing far In excess of
the increase in population." said he.
"This, no doubt, is because It has been
only during the past decade that care
ful statistics have been kept and each
little phase of mental derangement tab
ulated. Be this as it may. Insanity is
on the Increase.
"Fanaticism and just plain foolishness
sometimes are called insanity. The man
who knows the ethics of right living
and Ignores them Is a fool. The fanatic
Is a man with an Idea, living ahead ot
his time. But the Insane man Is the man
whose way of living Is all wrong, but
who thinks It is all right: and In this
country we have the Insane man at his
worst. As true as that the lust for
riches is the root of all evil is the fact
that the American has the money In
sanity. He Is obsessed with the Idea of
accumulating more than his share of tho
world's goods. And the more of the
world's goods that accrues, the more
there Is a slackening of spiritual strength.
"If for no other reason, one should at
tend church once a week to keep his
mental balance. Lose hold on the anchor
of the mind, and the drifting of the ship
is the drifting before the world storms
of evil." '
Smoothing Rough Places.
From the Dallas N"cw..
If It Is true that King George has
agreed to make a formal call on Richard
Croker on the occasion of the Ivlng's
visit to Ireland, it ought to do a great
deal to bridge the chasm bttween the
British throne and Tammany HalL
Can't Compete rrlth That.
Frets tbe Atlanta Journal.
About two months more and "Woodrow
"Wilson will have to yield the New Jersey
spotlight to" tho Boardwalk at Atlantic
, , hr.