Newspaper Page Text
THE WASHINGTON HERALD
Washington j. c. - Tuesday, march a 1913.
THE BIG STICK: Its Motives, Its Immortals -tD
t- ; ,
l,rme o,llnrU or Shndw Plncm in
Tnr II s suck ne of hoe farerite molten
i .eaturr in i rr rtuinc a ir-mificAti n nf said i
'pa! rorinbutlon f icrnianeot literature
Mtlwti.h we hau Intm. our eL f c William H.nst (tilde" as
thfddcr t the radiam-e c fiurrdly chefr almt him rn tinea tr-w ft-st
rav lie entered tr vanrtun wth the heatieU ium of the i3 abcut
1 ir f men a prBMins. he n eiiAlly fromismt as an enlighten? ' J i
ih w brea3' he i chairman of the inangurat ilhuul at Ions ouauuttr
Ujt a limited anion at of illuminating Julw at hi- dipona w to
i.iL )i- i- vtif to r-t-liai dMijht
Mr dud pT i- credt to tI coUcairoes oa U13 committee Tn
t 1 nlm U i!nl fr v lulrtT t lre w ahnoat a rrjsh at the coo
rilttee -oom a-d 111 ext a mi t Airier The Big lek learned eidn
vitrlv la- nfbt lid tn lw rut on to brir- t ttrn ai iHratlon to
'lumttuUn hrad iturtrr
I I e Iwn lit up f r Hr ' wrote one man 10 a shaky hand
Tlw Is n steady jd Mr (.11 J a laired to The B "-tick mail
t iiiT What s want are quirk fierce btirner? gord for a couP'
Uithott lwa titg 1 can nr that ir rbmxmtiee La had the pica
4 ehmmm illuminator In tre mam h weter ve hae eiected the
ts r lining thai jut a fe tJaio i-Tactica) taen are sufficient t pnt
,r ! Iai mt ex i tU,a
T e It stick tee jw-nfl 1 in pron iirg liat if totm g e'e 11 ae
tiiHh.t! Vr .dp I mke hcsrUi hditr
be tb axiduiaiun illirj of
ON NATION'S BUSINESS.
To-day's B g Stick's Central Figure Too Busy to Talk.
Vhrn aTi o' The Rib Sitck crvtitrtlimrir. e"inned or escbeirl
Irak imor e -t t measure tip tn cur standard of tr strenuoat
The Hi, sti , gmtrr 1 tnouch tn take notice That fa why B
lifk teadc t -dai rr i(7vca a thullms ktch o G i.roatenof
Iiiw 4Tjef f tie I-yiitmal DiiHot or the fcambT U tomnieTre
f th In. 1. Mate f mmra 1 1 the rrry art cf vhackinfi oot s
r. 4 ie Nation s Vr me- Ue ofiaal trtan of th Chamber of Com
r Mil-e Caller ( onrelre th at we en get out a much copT
with a raic ' -'ar and a i-astepot as tle next fellow But flrore
Iawe i cn--ir- ar 1 is 1 icd to make his "mark In the Journalists
feM 'if nmr i v ieciaw n-n a ro y the Nation'i Bnsines
i net uo;sli or frr - cui I.ke imte Pane no in In Fpare time
h- talk ca'im si -an , n the IMC. nd other xralons rlaeef
irk ll n" ;b Z.Ca or Hfl jirv and has a trel Bl? Stickian amile
for eTfTbii a nl t e woriti and himielf, with whom Ii keeps on r
;m- had laid out to pre 119 an an Interview oa th Rations
ruineiw bu j iv whei r had jrlren him Ter and were IceUnff up
th form hr drrrtr 1 in and ell fiat what lth fitting oot the Na
twn B ard Kettitur in tV Vfjraes he hadn't time
Wat ezate- kci the B stick man
I i trt 1 th o netill-iti or the
ip - V -. t re -end iu that name br mail.' Th
Itiff stirk m-n ald
READY AND WAITING.
1 K p
s m t tit ?
Here is ir dutireui hrd fellow towesman, Hon. Ldwin A
man, waiting to welcome his colleaies on the Democratic National
lie hi the White Ilouv In his haods. It la .th coal of Darfno
eratic ambitions the ultima Thule cf Democratic hopes
Mr Newman went out nd cir4nred the Whle ircue oce dark
rht, wbm nclwdy u lorkinc- He had a rabbit a foot lu his left
Who win be presented wlthtbe While H qe by Mr Newman
Tow cnesa We gn?. rcrybody giiesaes.
The Washington Herald, asked to explain the raison d'etre of The Big Stick its reason
for being, its innate purpose respectfully refers inquirers to The Big StickMtself.
The legends flying at The Big Stick's masthead fully explain why The Big Stick was
created, and why, through week after week, month after month, year after year, and ad
ministration after administration, it has continued, in the language of the circus posters, to
educate, inform, amuse, instruct, mystify, and delight. These legends are:
"The Big Stick A Hit for Every Head For the Uplift."
Hear also The Big Stick's unwritten law: "With malice toward none, with charity for
The Big Stick's course has been fairly laid along the lines indicated, and, withal, its
following of that course has been amiable. To point to the amiable foibles and even the
gentler follies of mankind; to make a jest without a jeer, a satire without a sting, a quip not
cruel, mirth without malice. Such has been The Big Stick's endeavor, and such, we feel
we may say, has been its achievement. Only once or twice in the great swift rush of going
to press has there crept into the columns of The Big Stick any serpent of guile.
So much for The Big Stick's motives. Of its immortals it is less easy to write. There
is not space nor time to write of all the men that the Big Stick has held within its enfolding
forms. Our oldest inhabitants, of course; our citizens and their associations, our fire de
partment, our gallant fire laddies, our stalwart police, our dignified city fathers, our great
legislators upon the hill , our schoolmasters , our medical doctors, our learned in the law,
our shopkeepers, our financiers and manufacturers and civicists, our tyros in suffrageand
our veterans in suffering; our visionaries God bless them! our sturdy practical fellows
all these and our Presidents, too, The Big Stick has blazoned forth with print and pic
ture, for the pleased and pardonable vanities of the printed and pictured, and for the
harmless and healthful delight of the millions of readers of The Big Stick.
To-day The Big Stick presents a new President in the good company of some of The
Big Stick's thirty-third degree immortals.
The Big Stick to-day stands forth again to quote the circus poster of our youth
bigger and better than ever. To its millions of readers in and out of the Nash. Cap., to
its new friends of the new administration, The Big Stick confidently offers itself as their
old champion, made new with the vigor that spring brings every year to those whose joy
of life is righteous.
WELCOME TO OUR CITY
Another Immortal Added to The Big Stick's Hall of Fame
On behalf of it million-, of appreciative
readers. The Big Stick, friend of Presidents,
champion of the people, uelcon Wood row
Wilson to the Nash. Cap. and the White
The Big Stick. alvas"a progrco-con-:crativc
paper, realizes its responsibilities in
extending this welcome. Its neatest readers
the ten-nnle-square peoplt: are the oplj peo
ple who remember the quadrennial change of
mind after the mammoth spectacle of March
4 has shivered chattering down the corridors
of the Weather Bureau. But with a full
realization that our welcome is at least four
ears long under the Balto. platform rule,
we extend it with all our heart.
We must conies; that the new Major of
Wash, comes to .us with a reverse English of
publicity. With the inaug. com.'s flag half
staffed, the Chevj Chase Club becreped. and
the milliners in mourning, the outlook for fun
was dark, dark.
Rut The Big Stick i authorized exclu
sively to announce ,that there is not a gloom
in the new Pres. bod guard. By putting two
and two together we find that as the Pres
and V.-Pres arc in thorough accord, wc can
expect Mr. Wilson to pitch the first ball that
liis limps hands out in its glistening purity on the Florida Ave. lot. -lso the fating "Seven
Sisters" are said to be just pet names for Mr. Wilson's cleekic. bunko, and other golf sticks.
"What the Prcs.-elect said anent the festivities was said in a Pickwickian sense." i the gist
of what The Big Stick learned from the three thousand original Wilson men interviewed in vari
ous parts of the country.
Also, there is no reason to feel depressed about Mr. Wilson's book-learning. There's a laugh
in every limerick, which he likes better than Happv Warrior, wc were informed. Besides, Mr. Wil
son doesn't write the limericks himself. The ones he gets up don't go outside the family, it is
With its best bow. therefore, The Big Stick greets Mr. W1N011. Lean vour bicvele up against
the house where it won't touch the glass and come right in!
THE FAMOUS CHERRY TREE.
Wlea Gi( Vnhlrto3 ait don th Iimj ct-irr inr b did
Dot Ull it. Tie not mttlRd.
This roe nms Into the txircoloti tt J U.nrj fmjll. thr isdi
horticultuitit. I'Edtr hi lUe cm it iw to rcifuiai-utoizr
It hVror med acd Ira fruit r dm .n ....
Oar irtirt ihot J Ilrarr ndir br th trt ufi xlmlrlDc me
ETcrtodi vill tcne thit it,
tbim woierful borticolrunl ikiU.
to fetl pruitil ot
ALWAYS ON THE JOB
k Jim j
Joe Leiter, Joe Leitcr,
Unless jou're a slighter,
Don't stall on our hind name,
But be a real lighter. "
Dirge of 13,485 gas consumers.
A CHANGE IS THE SPICE.
11 11 viOT trfiSpasmHawx '.imtv. iul
" rvwkr'Y'i rH
Likes Jumpinfifrom Business Life to Rural Happines,
A gtiitnn apecial to Th BI2 HUd from It special Add eorrr
aptNtdeol la the bummer Resort Country sUtes Uut our well known
me-ehaji Veil nee, Mr S. W HcJward had strained his nucwrat iter
in counting his Corks of Jersey cattle aiid Southdown sheep fia his country
pUte fa laschuftt. but ro srftou. resdts t aKldt.ted. as 3tr
U cod ward is taaiog plraty cf time for the nervo and the flock, too
Orr Mr Wouiwird dlrides the Tear shanlj Into two seasocL On
of them, he dcTouss to Jfisrj cattle, NnthdrAin thti and ottier attric
tuna of the ctwutrj The other he vpen-U in lijht dneriotui bke Hirerto
tfoduf a lar departmrrt ore, censtroctm o'Vn buiMma and apart
mitt hoi. d'rectnrirc l-anks ard real estate corprrailous. encountftaf
th Tcur Men Chnlaa VsoriatirtJ nd coaxing tr haiMmj fnn-l
of the Yo cf W001.11 hntian Asportation.
MtcirLer, he ltdt a life that makes for hU own and other people1
1 arrarennrnw to premi nrl-dr from o-irs: rnishrd Imtrr h's
tat cr imtieace, cr hinnr tn raj s-sreei t vars to how a llthaK frn I
Bocd tlmr, nr ji'in; the Tendon OSee tltrk a guud tlmo haie be-n
mpetfd. and Chairman Dan J Callahan and fcu aaoritt's rf th"
Ocmmlttee on Ccmfort at the rtt creot are enjojics; a weft-earned
'Nobotij Is colng to suffer any diccmfvt at tc aiiuifural ME
Chairnua Dan declared last xufbt IIau to make sitre of that a
outej perfect, anl we feel that we now ein take tt esaj- a 1 watrh
the other fellows work "
The Big Stiek is clad to we thf lime crme sihen vioii of the la
ajffuraj commlttecaieD can hase a rt. (.etucj rradv for the Mg rfirw
ha b-rn an nnosoallr onerous tak tl K yrnr arJ m of the crsn
it it tec s wia be at It rltfht up to to the U t am fjn dig Is
xery becoming to Mr CaJlatan. rd we w5li ttit 'its ould fpjoj it
nftener len a it is, he is indent of the Uaahlnslna C of C
rnd miT he railed on U a rwvch any day
roes while ye may is The Kie Uefs sootto, and tt
Hu Shoes W01 Not Be Allowed to Get Moldy.
HuKaaiiananten and modesty am
listed as the constant imj-ul.s cf our
esteemed Captain, James P. Oyster.
Wftetbt? the doughiy Captain ts
iraocthing down a raSlcd O.Kigro
ional cctanJttee or roughh np the
Board U Education, mnll ego &
mcch heart, are the elecrnts of his
make-op, and while he my bide
them frctn some cf the pnnd sp!nts
he sometimes chastens, he cannot
oooceml them fnmt oor penpicacious'
The Big Stick pauiter tuts 1
cf creating a prorrrbUl suspense
Notyso wth the Captain, who tola
the Jtig Mick nun that he had worn
em fee two jears, and that while
they are vrricrable and really an
ornament to any citizen, he is rery
viihcg to trare them eff
"Ucrcarter 1 aliall tread the path
cf 1 fe ra the ahoon of rriTary." the
carta in said to the Big Mick man
with mere of rrttty sentiment than
fact lie seemed to overlook tb
I frt th-t te UU1 has that board of
t , 1 rajcaiicn on his rhouKlrr. and in
f1 Loomed inttmtttcntly frr Ihatnut
.S. ZL in 2SL "R-: s:Lk,7
rrt ftr I. mi hi.i - ISjgfS? 'iS' "
nr eleeticn cotni after ChrUt
I inav" tbe-VarUin retried.
snoes, the Cartain drops "both foot-
tears at ence"
leu mode nun. roul pet hTt
oco d the bucts don. on the theory
that it was as nuc! at any oth-r
man coald nil. ard for the propose
BULLETIN-'-irc th- atcTe'
pointed on 17 inangnral Hubcomnrlttees.
rid. it Is rtsncntl that lUn CalU
hau to be pnt in the snoes. I
hare aiiol Fanta Clajs for actne
written the Cartain has been arr