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Newspaper Page Text
rope teas and dinners to pet edu
cated ant eaters you know you
Clarence of Keokuk turned
aercely upon his accuser. "I
jvould not," he said. "I'd spend
It every cent for the brotherhood
of man. I've some feelin', I
"Yes," interjected Hamburg,
"along about dinner time."
Clarence of Keokuk became
tenement. "Everything ought to
be divided everything," he de
dared, pounding his fist upon a
bickoty chip. ".What's yours is
mine, Tough. What's mine is
yours. That's right, ain't it?"
The Tough took a long pull at
his smelly pipe. "Oh, it's de right
dope, all right," he agreed, "but
tain't human nature."
"I wish I had a million dollars,"
declared Clarence of Keokuk. "I'd
prove it. I'd give it all away.
I'd Great, sizzling cross-ties !
Look at this !"
The bunch aroused and peered
over the shoulder of the Teader at
the scrap of newspaper which he
had just turned. They read:
"Keokuk, la., July 12. A dili
gent effort is being made to dis
cover the whereabouts of Clar
ence J. Richards, who disappear
ed from this city some years ago.
Young Richards is the sole heir
to an immense fortune left by the
last survivor of the'Welch branch
of his family."
"Huh!" snorted the Shoshone
Tough. "Dey's six of us here.. A
sixth will do me fine as silk."
"Immense fortune!" repeated
Clarence of Keokuk, in a daze. "I
was dead wise to the fact that I
didn't belong wid dese thugs and
"A sixth for me, too," chimed
Hamburg. "Gee, Clarence, when
does we get our share?"
"In a million years," answered
Clarence, dreamilyv "I got to go
down to the hotel and wash up."
The bunch arose. "We're your
pals. We'll go wid you."
"Nary a go nary a pal !" de
nied Clarence of Keokuk.. "Do
you think a gentleman wants to
walk into town with a soil-faced,
lock-step, hang-dog gang of muts
like you chaps?"
With a snarl he turned and
vanished into the dark. The gang
relaxed by the blazing brush
vvood. "Don't go to givin' any pet
rhinoceros dinners, Clarence!"
It was just two months later
that Hamburg read to the Sho
shone Tough, in the shade of a
Rio Grande water tank, of a birth
day party given "by C. Johnson
Richards, the Keokuk millionaire,
whereat the guest of honor was a
laughing hyena and the souvenirs
-were cigar cases of dazzling gold
studded with diamonds of Kim-berley.
If we should have a war with
Russia, our soldiers will have to
take snuff in order to make them
selyes understood by the enemy.
Harry B. Smith, comic opera
liberttist, has an income of $150,
000 a year.' His kind of poetry