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Newspaper Page Text
sooner'it Vdid th'e quicker. 'All we';
done ain t had ' no more results
than you could put in a fly's eye.
fie's advertised for a wife!
Describes himself as a lonely
old man with 160 acres of the best
Jand in the valley who would ap
preciate refined companionship.
He's already got 147 replies from
-strange ladies. Guess they can't
be powerful refined. t
?r Diana, pa will go and git him
self married and we'll be strang
ers in our own home, provided
Stepmother eVeri" lets usstay. We
onM: know what's got into his
pesky mind. ' Diana, you always
was the bright one of the family.
fWont you come out and see what
you can do with pa?
" "P. S.-He just got 12 more let
ters. It hadn't ought to be al
lowed by law. Come quick!"
r- If I do say it myself, it's a fact
about me having the loftiest intel
lect in the whole Dillpickles fam
ily. My heart sure goes out to
Cousin Mittie and Cousin Mat
tie. They're awful tame. Uncle
Amos runs right over them, and
fheyvcan't stop him.
y That's -why I'm going to hustle
out to tKe ranch and manage Un
" ct o
- A North Dakota man had to
stay in water up to his chin until
Kis daugh'ter rode 10 miles for
help to get him out of a well. 'It
will probably be a told day when
he sings "The. Old Oaken
There are 35,000 fornier;Jp-
anese soldiers in Hawaij, accord
ing to Major Gen.
William H. Carter,
assistant chief of
the army staff. He
told a congressional
committee that ev
ery one of the Japs
would take their
own country's part
if the United States
ever went 'to war
with the mikado.
Noticing the im
pression that made,
the general added
if America wished
to retain her insular possessions
the military force should be
The South Carolina legisla
ture may expunge part of Gov.
Blease's message, as "unfit to
Tacob Finklestein. of Indiana.
sent a live goose to President
Taft; said goose to be turned into
'goose grease' for the presidential
cold. ' . "
Kern and O'Gorman are enter
ed as 'the dark horse -team'. for
the Baltimore conventipnb'yTthe
eastern newspapers. r -
oo . .
Purity, humility,' trjuth "
these are the things ' tfiat N
always make a man's life
tell. Tolstoi. ' '?"
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