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Newspaper Page Text
IS HEARST THE ORIGINAL MUTT?
Willie Hearst evidently believes in the maxim that "whoso
tooteth not his own horn, the same it shall not be tpoted."
His own paper, The Examiner, publishes today a two column
story about Hearst from the Baltimore Sun from which some very
interesting facts concerning the journalistic blowhard may be
For example, we are informed that Hearst "has a broad, long
face, with clear blue eyes, an aquiline -nose and a close-lipped,
straight-lined mouth that remains tightly closed except when he
This gives us some notion of what a wonderful .work of art
Hearst is. We know of no other man in history, or out of it, who
could do such stunts as keeping his mouth shut on all occasions
except when he speaks.
Ordinary mortals have to open 'their face when they eat corned
beef and cabbage, and even when they drink tea, coffee, water, milk,
-soda water or, beer.
, The writer fails to tell us how Hearst gets his food and drink
into his alimentary .canal while his face is closed.
Docs this marvelous man take in food 'and drink through that
If so, what a great convenience it would be if he could only
borrow that penetrating nose of the illustrious Mutt.
We are also told that this human prodigy "is over Six feet in
height and broad, with a suggestion of strength and vigor in his
While Jeff is a little bit of a fellow, doubtless you will remem
ber that his side partner, Mutt, is tall; possible over six feet in
height, and broad broad in the feets if not between the eyes.
Can it be that Hearst is the original Mutt?
Of course, this graphic description doesn't tell us all there is
to know about Hearst. Indeed, much has "been left to the imagina
tion. Presumably wlien Hearst walks, lie steps first with one foot and
then with the other. No doubt his shoes are full of feet, to say
nothing at all of socks.
We are not told whether or not Hearst owns a dog, or loves
cats, and kittens, although it Would be fair to infer from what lie
says -about himself in his own papers that Hearst is very fond of
He must be a very frank man; too. We judge by the frank,
free and easy manner in which he admitS'thaMie is a great maiir " "
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