OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, February 01, 1912, Image 18

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1912-02-01/ed-1/seq-18/

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THE ONLY WAY
He was a very raw re
cruit, and particularly stu
pid at that. The drill ser
geant did not know what' to
do with him. He had tried
patience, he had tried lan
guage; all in vain.
"Squad halt!" yelled the
.sergeant.
The double rank of men
obeyed, but the very raw re
cruit marched gaily on.
"Fitzmooney L" shouted
the sergeant.
"Yus, sergint."
"Did ve ever drive a don
key?" "Yus, sergint."
"What did ye say to him
when ye wanted 'im to
stop?"
"I said 'Whoa sergint."
"Very well. ' Squad
'tshun! By the right, quick
march! Lef, lef, lef! Squad
halt! Whoa, Fitzmooney!"
, Kansas City Journal.
o o
Transactions in Mines.
A young New Haven man, re-
turning home from a health trip
to Colorado, told his father about
buying a silver mine for $3,000. "I
knew they'd rope you in !" ex
claimed the old man. "So you
were ass enough to buy a hum
bug mine."
"Yes, but I didn't lose any
thing. I formed a company and
-sold half the stock to a Connecti
cut man for .$7,000."
i "Y-you did?"" gasped the old
man as he turned white. "I'll bet
I'm the one who bought it."
ADOLF AX-UALLY THREATEN
f 1 AM GlAT, ATSOLF, 0OT YOU )
Ms oxperueNccD JUFeR y r '
I M4YSE WC RECOF EH ZOT,f
X. VUOOABLG Kes Op 1
"I know you are," coolly -observed
the young man as he cross
ed his legs and tried to appear
very much at home. Argonaut.
o o
High Prices.
"Hiram," said Mrs. Corntossel,
"don't you think Josh is makin'
a pig of hisself?"
"No. I don't see no signs of
Josh's gittin' to be anything so
valuable. Washington Star.
o o
Having cleaned himself of Har
per's Weekly's support, Wood
row Wilson's next luck may come
in the form of hot opposition
from Hearst.
Lots of men are yelling "stop
I thief" who ought to be running.
immHiiiiiiii

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