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Newspaper Page Text
It certainly saved the farm to his
children yestef day, me being here
when that Doris Willowplume
person drifted in. Mrs. Amos
Mango, and ordering his flesh and
blood off the place.
But uncle doesn't like his Man-in-the-
Iron-Mask existence. He
tried to escape today. It was just
after his twin daughters tele
phoned me from the village that
Doris Willowplume was still
hanging round, bragging that
true love will yet triumph. Just
then I remembered, that Uncle
Amos had been acting sdrt of
quiet and crafty-like. So I went
out into the yard just in time to
catch him trying to drop from his
window with a carpet bag. "Get
back in there," I demanded, "or
I'll turn the hose on you' You
just TRY to elope!" Sullenly he
dumb back in. ''
Gee, but these lovesick gray
beards are a fearful responsibil
HOW TOMMY CONNOLLY TOOK STARCH OUT OF
SARCASTIC OTIS CLYMER '
a close decision, Clymer remark
ed to Connolly:
"I guessryou have to be a row
dy, fight umpires and get sus
pended to win a close decision in
"Maybe so," reply Connolly,
"but you're safe. In this league
we suspend only regular players
and managers. However, I'll get
rid of you this afternoon."
Clymer didn't forgive Connolly
until he got a regular berth,
-r o o
Mollie Did you ever propose
to a girl in a taxicab?
Chollie I did.
"What was the answer."
"Sixteen dollars and forty,
cents." Yonker's Statesman.
By Billy Evans.
Otis Clymer, a star for Min
neapolis last year, used to be util
ity outfielder .for Washington.
He had plenty of ability, but in
juries kept him out and he hated
theidea of being a bench warmer.
He hated to have anyone remind
him he was a substitute.
Tommy Connolly, the umpire,
took advantage of this situation
in an argument at Washington
one day. Clymer was trying to
earn his salary as a coacher at
third. Washington was being
trimmed as usual and Detroit
seemed to be getting the better of
Hughey Jennings had just re
turned to the game after ten days'
suspension. He was full of pep
per and was making up for lost
time. He coached at third, made
lots of noise, pulled lots of grass
and funny stunts.
Qn the way to the bench after
Imitation may be the sincerest
flattery, but don't try to flatter a
man by imitating his signature on