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Newspaper Page Text
A DICKENS OF A DAY
By the Office Boy
Wot the I mean the dickens
is it all about?
' Jes' dickins that's all, chawles
dickens I spose folks 'at knowed
'im called 'im cholly
Anyway chawles wuz borned
100 years ago today an' he's
dead now too bad.
Bleeve me, he wuz some riter.
I gess he didn't take no prize in
grammer skule, nor nuthin' like
that, but he rote stuff wot folks
cud read, and it made 'em laff
and cry all rite all rite.
A good ting about chawles wuz
that folks laffed at his joaks and
cride at his sob stuff It .lint so
no more. Gee when I read de pa
pers nowdays, the joaks make me
cry and the sob stuff makes me
De papers is full of de dickens
today dat dickens stuff. Let
chawles give tanks dat he is ded
Cos if he was livin' most of 'em
wood be rtocken. Even editors is
derned free wid de bokays when
a gink is ded.
Dere's hurst He's a wise guy.
Han's all de bokays to hisself in
his papers, and passes de nocks
to de rest of 'em.
But dickens, he wuz o. k. He
wuz dere wid de big slang edi
son, he invented a lot of tings all
rite, but chawles invented slang
Dat was a grate help to folks,
fer a hole lot of us can talk now
widout readin' it out of a gram
mer. Sum riters use konversashun
and grammer, but chawles used
I red sum uv his books and gee
but I cud tell wot dey wuz say in'
His folks wuznt ladies and gents,
dey was regular folks.
Yes, every time I reed de pa
pers I'm sorry chawles dickens
is ded. But den all of us knows
chawles lived and is ded Lots
uv the riters uv today is still
walkin' aroun' and eaten' corn
beef and cabbitch, but dey is ded
dern dickens and doan no it.
An' dat's why we sellebrate
Let us giv tree cheeres for
chawles chawles dickens.
THIS IS EASY
Lifting a Plate.
Fill a glass full to overflowing
of water. 'Place over it a piece of
heavy blotting paper, and then a
small plate or a saucer about the
size of the paper. Carefully in
vert the'whole, holding plate and
glass firmly together, so no air is
In a few moments, when the
blotting paper has become damp
you can lift the glass and the plate
will hang' tightly to it.