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Newspaper Page Text
-' i-f-Y1 "'
feel that way about it
the guard on the trane slam
med the door on the gink's arm
and then the grayback grahbed
him by the coller and handed
him one in the lodker
whereupon a"bout 27 -gents
hopped on the grayback and what
they done to him was plenty, then
they asked sum uther graybacks
to arrest him and they wouldent
do it, so the man that got soaked
and two uther men took the gray
back to the police station
when he come up before the
judge, a subway lawyer says,
why, your honor, you dont think
a orfser would hit a man, do you
i have r, ode in the subway, says
the judge, and i know blame well
what them ducks do, they have
got as mutch respeckt for human
life as teddy rosenfelt has for bill
taft's boom, stick this cuss in the
cooler and keep him there till the
subway comes across with 300
hi ho, it aint always sutch a
bad old world johnny
Thud : Are you making a gar
den this year, Slap?
Slap: No, we buy our vege
tables ready made. Why do ydu
Thud : Because I thought I
saw you planting something.
Sla"b: Oh, that was a dead
cat. It was our favorite cat. She
died for the ninth time.
Thud : Was it that yellow one
you brought in from the country
the one you called Liza?
Slap: 'Yes except now she's
gone. back to the soil and is called
fertilizer. Say, do your folks
cook your meals on a cpal stove
or a wood stove?
Thud: On an iron stove. By
the way, do you know that scient
ists say alcohol makes food indi
gestible? Slap : Is that so ? Now I know
what's the matter with the stuff
my wife cooks on the chafing
dish it's that alcohol lamp.
Thud: Is that what you and
your wife were quarreling about
the other night?
Slap: Yes. We couldn't
agree about a little matter I,
said the lamp was leaking and she'
said it was by my breath. But
you didn't hear us, did you?
Thud: Quite plainly.
Slap: But you were at your
brother-in-law's house, a mile
Thud: Sure. That's where I
OUR PRECISE ARTIST
I Houses fjL '
'The house was packed.''