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Newspaper Page Text
WHAT HAPPENED OUTSIDE CHICAGO
Have you decided yet whether
(March is a lamb or a Hon or just
"Senator Heyburn takes the
amazing position " began Sen
ator Bristow, of Kansas, pre
paring to throw a fit about Hey
t burn's ideas on Ikey Stephen
son's election to the senate.
Doesn't Bristow know yet that
Bloody Shirt Heyburn's only
claim to fame is his "taking of
Des'Moines, la., police have
been ordered not to arrest intox
icated persons, but to take 'them
to their homes.
Trouble with intoxicated per
sons is they usually are somewhat
cloudy in their ideas as to where
But perhaps Des Moines will
arrange to have them all tagged,
like express packages.
Hen which rode on fender of
Brockton, Mass., car, kindly paid
its own fare by laying egg here.
N. B. The conducted "knock
ed down" the fare.
Somebody in Russia is just get
ting wise to the fact that certain
f "aristocratic" government offi
cials shoved about $50,000,000 ap
propriated f5r the ar.my during
the Russo-Japanese war, into
tm House inimigratioii,committee
w has decided on biH to bar illiterate
" Money, however, will continue
to talk-so as to make itself un
derstand, at immigrant stations
as well as other places,
A cow -that insists on giving
green milk is under observation
by the city chemist of Cincinnati.
That bossy ought to be under
observation by an alienist. We
fearv bossy has been straying from
the straight and narrow path.
No self-respecting cow would
give green milk.
Twenty-eight varieties of Am
erican wine were served at din
ner given in New York by the
American Wine Growers' asso
ciation. In other words, as our country
cousins would say, a nice booze
party was had.
Because he was compelled ta
shave three times a week, Harry
Kanofsky, N. Y., wasacquitted of
eharge of playing hookey from
We don't quite get that one.
What did the N. Y. Board of Ed
ucation figure Harry's shaving
operations had to do with his
capability pf playing hot5key?.Or
did Harry play hookey in order
to shave? And if so does the N.
Y, Board of Education figure
shaving is more important' than
the cause of higher education?
Or did The Editor says: Cut it
out, you simp !
Geo. Carmody, blind student
at Syracuse Univ., N. Y., has been
chosen valedictorian of class of
1912. Studies are read to him,
and he copies them on typewriter
equipped with raised letters.
"Men and women who smoke
to the discomfort of others should
be classed with other smoke nui
sances such as chimneys and
automobiles." Dr. Chas. G.