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Newspaper Page Text
THE WOES OF JAWN D.'S SISSY BIBLE CLASS
New York, March 2. The
Bible class conducted by John D.
Rockefeller, jr., at the Fifth Ave
nue Baptist church, is in bad, and
you couldn't get a smile out of
any of the members tqday on a
You've got to know the mem
bers of Jawn's Bible class before
you can appreciate fully what
They're a lot of nice, young
men with lily-white souls and lots
of money, who are real anxious
to be good, and who never were
real naughty in al their pinkjand
lavender lives, and wouldn't
know how if they tried
They're the sort of young men
who, if you said that a man was
drunk in front of them, would
clasp their hands in horror and
ask you if you meant intoxicated.
And they'd like to help settle
all the troubles of the world if
they could find a way of doing it
that wouldn't separate them from
more than a nickel apiece or so.
Quite earnest young men, they
are ! About a week ago they got
together and decided on the right
sort of woman for young men of
good moral principles to marry.
They decided that this ideal
woman ought to have good
health, and wide hips, and not
use corsets, and a lot of other un
believable rot of that sort, that
made them think they were real
ly uplifting the world.
But sohie of the young and
pmk members of that class- are .
married. And after last week's
session they had all kinds of trou
ble explaining themselves to their
wives, some of whom, being aris
tocratic, have not good health,
nor yet wide hips.
However, the trouble wasn't
violent and blew over, and so last
night those ivory-headed young
men got heavy again. This time
they took up the problemof the
evil effect of mothers-in-law and
wrestled with it.
Headed by the Rev. Orran j.
Cocks, who ought to have known
better hut then look'at his first
name! they decided that newly
weds, and even plain married
folks, would be ever so much bet
ter if mother stayed away from
the pretty ickle ' dove cote."
They adopted beautiful resolu
tions on the subject. Most of
them were long-winded and tire
some, and learned, but 'one of.
them was right to the point. It
"Discourage the visits of your
mother-in-law. Keep her out of
your home as much as you can."
Well, you know, Adeline, one
of those horrid, nasty, newspaper
jnen heard about this, and went
and put it in a New York paper,
and when the married members
of that Bible class went to their
homes last night
Well, one of them says he
stumbled' and bumped his eye
against the door and that's what'
makes it so black, and .the rest
look sheepish, and Says its nice