Is built. An elegant hotel on wa
ter. Accommodations for 4,000
people. Twenty life boats.. All
the conveniences of first cla?s
home life. But
"Secure stateropms now- The
greatest steamship is to make her
maiden rjun; to New Yprk, Rec
ords to go glimmering- A trip
.4.1 t ...:n i.ii ii ui
wifi. win sirtiijc ujc yvuiiu; sj
1 he biggest handsomest
steamer! A maiden trip! A rate
against the records, j Thousands
go aboard men, women and
children, It "will be a trjp to brag
ajiout, this race agajnst Time and
the elements. In the dead of
night the temperature suddenly
falls. Thjs 'means icebergs, as
every captain knows. Theres
that face Against the records,
however lj50Q passengers and
crevof 800 not .to be disappoint
ed. Icebergs a,re nqt uncommon,
anyhow- On with the- race J "
vA. crash and near ,1,400, bloated
corpses float and bob and wash
against each other in the splendid
cabins and salons two miles deep
in the Atlantic. A thousand wid
ows, two thousand orphans, prop
erty loss almost beyond account.
But it was a splendid raceagainst
Death wJiile it IastecL.
Poor foolish humanity that can-'
not make progress' toward fulj.
usefulness witbpul paying awful
toll of Death!
He Went Oufc
Wife (at he play) That act
-was full of dry humor.
Husband (delightedly) I sup
pose that is why Tam so thirsty.
iExcuse me a-minntfe TitBitst r ,
FREAKY BASEBALL PLAY
- WAS THIS
Ijtollie Zeider says Buddy Ryan
pulled off a freak play this winter
while playing in Southern tali-',
fornia. ,Bud and Zeider were
playing Ifor Calexico in the Im- ,
perial valley. ,
N One of the irrigatipn ditches
that are numerous in the valley
ran in about 10 feet of the left
field-foul line. There was a man.
on second and one on third.
Mott lined a beauty oyer third
just inside the line. Buddy sprint-
ed over and got the ball with one"
He neyer stopped until he took
a header 1n the canal, both run-
ners ..crossing the pan. Bud
crawled out of the'canai and rac-a
ecTover touching third, never
stopping until he reached second,
claiming an unassisted triple play.
rsuuqy unauy uuii,yiqqcQ ine ,
umpire that he had not dropped v ;
the ba.ll by showing him that the
bal was wet only on one side, t
where, if he had dropped it,the
-ball was bound to be wet all over.
As to Cleanliness.
The teacher called upon Fred-r
die Brown to illustrate the .proper - )
use of the degrees of the. adjec-, .
tive, "clean." . ,
"Mother is cleansaid Freddie N
falteringly, "father is cleaner "
nere ne paused
"And" prompted the teacher'
"haven't you some other , rela
"Oh, yes, there's Auntie but
I ain't sure about her."
T4 -'issU jrr.
xml | txt