Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1756-1963 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the National Endowment for the Humanities external link and the Library of Congress. Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
PLAIN 1WTH iPafrit looks better on an old hquse than on an old woman. The train that I am not going1 on is the one that is invariably on tinte'. The trouble with theJool with money is that there is never near enough o lum to go around. ' In the advance notices of the average marriage the only goqd reason for mem tioning the name of the groom is so that the wed ding gUests may be sure they are throwing their old shoes at the right mart; - Puck. r-o o In a Few Words, , AT LAST VERETT JB t- Iir-a Surrey court an old woman was put in the wit ness box to tell whar she knew abouf the annihiliation o a prize pig by a motor car. Being sworn she was askea if she had seen,. the car kill the pig in question. ft seed it." "Then," said counsel, "tell the court in as few ords as possible just how it occurred." ''That I can, zur. It justtooted and tuck him."- Tit-Bits. "" o o v ' Fair Enough. THia -picrqe of awjolfN fc& VCeS IT SHOW WM -QBATim L " 46 ne stuffing ovtpr you, JsfCQ te -nC m THIS KINO Of A PHOTO f ( S (i in i ! ,i I, i i 1 1 1 .. I... nporcrp ' "Rnnpr -was down to judge terriers at an English show4 that $he cannot1 tel them apart. a snort tme ago, ana a provident breeder,, who was anxious to win, sent him a fine Yorkshire .ham jus't befofe the sfioW. After the awards were made and the giv cr'sdpg' wWpla&ed second, the puzzled ' exhibitor approached George and said: "I say, mon, wasn't there something wrpng in that award? Yon know, I gaVe you a fine ham' George replied :N "Aye, moh; but t'other fellow gie me a, whole T Someone or other once said: "It's a poor rule tharwqrit work both ways." "Well, jtry telling mother that she looks sb like her daughter And theri try it on Tie daughter. Do you knowwhatamotosa cache is? It's a French motor cycle which Women can ride while Vfearing'ordinary skirts. SB ) nmmmmm&t