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Newspaper Page Text
CTVM3V7 A TJATIT T A "070 "NT A HTT?
OlUAl AOUU1 .DrUJi O nfllliu
Dr. Edith Lowry thinks that the naming 'of the baby son is a
serious matter and that "the name selected should be at once digni
fied and appropriate to the individual."
Oh yes ! we make a lot of fuss over naming the baby son. We,
study hard to work in grandpa's name and grandma's maiden name,
and the dignity and the appropriateness, all right, and the sum
total in many cases is a cognomen that sonny would promptly dis
own, if he were old enough to kick about' it. Hence, we, later- on,
discover a Napoleon Emerson Smith Jones appropriately driving a
garbage cart, or an Isaac Newton Jones Smith dignifiedly serving
bs a. "white wings." That's as near as the 'average parent arrives
at the future dignity and appropriateness of a son through judging
bythe way he juggles his nursing bottle or tries to swallow his toes
at the age of a month to a year.
What the parents select really doesn't matter in many, many
instances. The world actually does, the- naming very often.
We occasionally meet on the streets, in these days, a reliable
gray-haired citizen who was conscientiously christened Joseph
Rulison. "Balls. 'Way back in the days of mumble-peg and one-old-cat,
we boys named Jiim "Joe Balls the Butcher," since his father ran
a meat market, and. he'll come whencalled that to -this day. Then
there was.a fellow whose parents thought there would be-dignity in
Alexander Hamilton Willoughby forjtheir infant son, "bufwe boys
who used to go in swimming with him made it "Stonebruise" Wil
loughby, and it sticks even at this writing.
Again, there used to be a grocer in the old home -town whose
sign read, "Christian Fairport Taylor." Chris "got religion" at a
revival meeting, one time, and stoal up and asked for prayers, be
cause while holding .a two years' contract for furnishing cheese to
the county hospital he had never put more than 11 -ounces .in the
pound of cheese delivered.. Christian Fairport is "Cheese" Taylor to
this date, unless he's dead and they've-chisseled the real christening
1n his tombstone.
Still again, there once came to town Gen. Winfield Scott. We
gave the grizzled old fellow a great welcome in town hall and,
amongst other things in his speech, he told its of a brave drummer
boy, who, amidst the hail of shot and shell, kept up his brave drum
ming throughout the furious battle of Lundy's Lane. "My regret,"
i concluded the old general, "is that that heroic boy's name was never
known. Whereupon, George Washington Lincoln Peabody Clark,
so formally christened for the early dignity and appropriateness of
it, got up in the audience and stated that, while he'd never said any-