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i n. y., may 20. when judge mar
guire took off his kimono and
started for his home last nite he
.was a sore guy, beleave me
he judges over in the yorkvill
court, and most generly he is feel
ing all rite when he calls it a day
and nocks off
you know a judge dont Jiave
mutch of nuthing to bother him,
just setting up behind a shelf and
saying 30 days to a'lot of hoobs
but this time judge maguire.he
got a case that was diffrent. it
pritty near would have 'made old
solomon holler for help, jgess,
and solomon was some judge
well, the case was a feller by
the name of jones, a choofer,
witch was pinched for striping a
dorg
a lady had him arested. she was
mrs. van tile, a ritch dame living
on madisdn avenue, she sed jones
was a wfckid'villin, and he picked
UP. Poor" little toto while toto was
getting a breth of fresh air in
front of the house, and beat it
with nim
'"toto' is the 'njame 'of "the dorg,
that is, it is thename of mrs.' van
tile's dorg -
but after mrs. van tile had told
her storey, mrs. jones the wife of
the choofer, she comes to bat, and
she sed the mutt was hers, arid his
name wasent toto at all. it was
flossy, and her husband wasent no
theef, and anybody that sed he
was wasent no lady
so judge inagufre" he has a swell
hunch, i am going t see whose
dorg this is., he sez, and he sets
the purp up on the shelf in frunt
of him
now let -us see whether he
knows you, sez the judge to mrs.
jones "
so mrs. jones she goes up to the
mutt and she sez, speak to irie,
baby "
and the purp barks and jumps
aroun dlike evrything, and mrs.
jones looks at mrs. van tile and
sez, aha, now i gess you will call
my husband a theef
but mrs. van tile, she asks the
judge, dont she get a show for her
white alley, and the judge sez yes,
and she goes up to the dorg and
she sez, kiss me, sweetheart
and the blame dorg kissed her
all over the face, and she sez, now
how abput-ir, judge
court's adjourned, that's what's
abput it, sez the judge, the case
goes 'over '
as he was goin out he growls at
'the 'clerk, kiss me, sweetheart,
and' he made a perfectly' horribel
face ' ' jhny
k THAT'S DIFFERENT.
M 9 th e r (nearsighted) See
that 'disgracefully i ji o x l cated
brute" across the street? Where
can the police be?
Daughter (weeping) Oh,
mother, that's brother Bob.
Mother (fainting) Then the
saloonkeeper's been drugging the
pdor child again. Tit Bits.
.itfs5y
