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Newspaper Page Text
THE CORN CONVENTION.
By I. Gotta Corn.
The issue is clearly defined.
There is no getting around the
fact that the national convention
of chiropodists at Chicago July 1,
2 and 3 will make other recent na
tional conventions appear like se
cret sessions of deaf and dumb.
The chiropodists, or, as they
are more popularly called, foot
doctors, or corn surgeons, are
rent in twain. The salvers want
a plank in the platform stating in
unmistakable language that salve
is the best remedy for ailing foun
dations. They point with pride to
the many substantial fortunes
created by billions of boxes of
Also the old foot docs who
travel the country highways sell
ing salve are unanimous against
the city docs who can skin a corn
and a patient more easily 'with a
A deal of rancor has been
stirred up by the committee in
gving the docs from the South,
where shoes are not so generally
worn and corns are scarcer, an
equal vote with docs in big cities
where shoes are tighter and corns
are something fierce.
There will be no fight over the
temporary chairmanship. Few of
the docs want to get up on the
platform; it makes one's feet too
A good, second-hand steam
roller has been rented. Any doc
wanting to brush off a few of his
own corns will be allowed to stick
his toes under the roller as it
glides over thfe pr-ostrateiormssoi
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the salvers or the city specialists,
depending c o n s i d e rably upon
which faction gets control of the
"I heard you .congratulating
Mr. Scribbler on his short stories.
What on earth do you find in
them to admire?"
Teacher What happens when
a man's temperature goes down
as far as it can go ?
Smart Scholar He .has cold
When you see a fat man try Jto
act cute to make a Jiit 'with the
ladies you can just bet that his