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Newspaper Page Text
found the brick mason singing at
"his wofk, not caring a rap, be
cause he had the blue print to
guide him. That the framework
didn't gee with the chimney
djdn't make no difference to him.
He had bid on the chimney as
planned, and if I had changed
windows I should have told him
I didn't want the chimney there.
All I could do now was to have
the window closed up, Which is
going to leave the room rather
dismal at midday.
The folks at home aren't say
ing much. They know the house
is running away from me with
the bit in its mouth, but they
don't josh me about it. They are
worrying whether I will have to
be sent to a sanitarium.
RECOGNIZING A BRIDE
Wilhelm Reichert, a Cincinnati"
shoe salesman, was married the
other day, and took his bride to
Chicago for a wedding trip.
As Wilhelm-was lugging their
two heavy suitcases to a hotel, he
grew hot and thirsty, and drop
ped into a barroom for a glass of
beer, leaving his bride standing
on the busy street corner.
Wffen Wilhelm came out his
Minnie was nowhere in sight. He
waited, but she did not appear.
He searched all night and all next
morning, and then weary and
broken-hearted, asked the police
to help him. They promised to
do what they could, and the shoe
clerk again wandered disconso
lately about the business section.
Suddenly he was caught. in a
heavy shower. But he did not
care. He stood drearily watching
the procession of umbrellas, and
thinking of his shattered honey
moon. Suddenly he darted through
the crowd shouting:
"Minnie! Minnie! Vait vonce.
Here is .Wilhelm."
A young woman concealed un
der an enormous umbrella halted,
turned and fell weepily and wet
ly into his arms.
"But how did you know me
yet?" she asked. "I didn't see
you at all. And I vas all covered
mit the umbrella."
"Ach! I saw your feet!" cried
Wilhelm. Don't you suppose I
know the shoes I sold you mme
self last veek?"
"Every man can find work if he
uses his brains," said Andrew
Carnegie in an after-dinner ad
"We should all be like the pi
ano tuner I once met out west.
" 'Why,' I said to him for we
were in a wild, unsettled country
'surely piano tuning can't be
very plentiful in this region.'
" 'No, sir, they're not,' said the
piano tuner, 'but I make a pretty
fair income by tightening up
barbed wire fences.' "
"Your message is giving me
deep pleasure," is the way Wilson
is wiring Clark, Underwood and
the other also-rans. Vary it, shake
it up a bit, Woodrow. It sounds
very mimeograph. Tell 'em "dee
lighted' for instance.